And Then You Die…

***Just a lil warning: very OOC Heero ahead.

***And yaoi-ness galore ahead…

***Lime… not lemon . I couldn't bring myself to do it…

Chapter 14

I had never seen Heero like this. He was practically pacing. I could almost feel his intensity charging the room. All evening I'd tried to keep my eyes on the pages of my book, but I was scarcely aware of what I was reading.

I finally gave up and tossed down the novel. "Anne Rice isn't holding my interest tonight. I think I'll go to bed."

He glanced at the book. "She writes about vampires, doesn't she?"

"Hai, and about New Orleans. I'm a big fan."

He smiled crookedly. "I can see why you'd want to avoid vampires at the moment. It's got to be overkill when you're living with one."

"You may take my blood but you're too scientific to be a vampire." I said lightly.

"Am I?"

I hurriedly looked away from him. "You'd know if you ever read Rice. Lestat is definitely not scientific. He's a very complex vampire with—"

The phone rang and I automatically tensed. I picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Heero. I need to talk to Heero."

Not Dekim. I tried to mask my relief with a shrug as I handed Heero the phone. "I vaguely recall a time when I actually got normal telephone calls. I think its Zechs Marquise. Talk about vampires…"

I stood up and wandered over to the window. The shadow gargoyle seemed smaller tonight. I wonder what it looked like just before the streetlights went off in the morning. Maybe I should set my alarm and see, I thought absently.

"I have to take a sample."

I turned to see Heero hanging up the phone. "Why? You sent one off this morning."

"The closer to a break through he gets, the greedier he gets."

"And how close is he getting?"

"It's hard to tell. In developing any antidote, it's usually one step forward, two steps back."

"He sounded excited."

"He thinks maybe he took a step and a half forward on the last test." He paused. "You don't have to do it. I can wait until morning."

I shrugged. "Give it to him." I sat down at the dining room table and rolled up my left sleeve. "It doesn't matter."

"It matters." He took the kit out of the desk drawer. "Do you think I'd put you through this if it didn't matter to a lot of people."

"I didn't mean—" I gave up. "Just take the sample and let me go to bed Heero."

"That's what I'm doing."

I always hated to watch the blood enter the tube, so I fastened my gaze on his dark head. The muscles at the sides of his neck were rigid as he carefully inserted the needle.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked in a low voice.

"You never hurt me."

"Yes, I do." His gaze never left the needle. "But maybe not this time." He took out the needle and put it on the table. "Gomen nasai. It's over now."

"Why are you apologizing? It's no big deal. I gave more at the last Red Cross blood drive."

"But I wasn't the one who took it." He held my arm while he applied pressure, then dabbed at the tiny drop of blood at the puncture site. "I don't like to—" He stopped staring down at my arm.

"Something wrong?"

"Yes." He said thickly. "Something's wrong." He slowly lifted my arm and pressed his lips to the wound.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I wasn't supposed to feel this lust, but it was there.

He lifted his head and looked at me. "That's what's wrong." His lips slid down my forearm to the veins at my wrist. A wave of heat moved through me. "I want it. I've wanted it for a long time. Sometimes just the smell of you—" He pressed his lips to my palm.

"Yameru." I whispered. "I can't—" But I wanted him. He was scarcely touching me and my body was responding. "It would… interfere."

"It's already interfering. It can't get much worse. I can't—" He stopped, his gaze fixed on my face. "No?" He slowly released my arm. "You're sure?"

I wasn't sure about anything. I was confused and uncertain and… aroused. Oh yes, definitely aroused.

He stood up and picked up the needle and kit. "Don't worry, I'm not going to push," he said jerkily. "I've already taken too much from you." He moved toward the kitchen "I'll get this sample ready for Zechs."

I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair. I wanted him. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted him inside me. I hadn't felt like this since those first few heady weeks with— No, I couldn't compare him to Heero. I couldn't compare anyone with Heero.

"I told you not to worry about it."

I opened my eyes to see Heero standing by the front door with the familiar sample package in his hand. "If you don't want me you don't want me, but don't feel guilty. This has nothing to do with what happened to Quatre." He opened the front door. "I'm going to go downstairs and give this to Agent Walker to ship tonight. You go on to bed."

Don't feel guilty.

Go on to bed.

He was always telling me what to do, dammit. He always thought he knew best. From the very beginning he had tried to guide me down the path he wanted me to go.

Except tonight. He'd backed away. He'd given me a choice.

*************** (this is more Heero's p.o.v. until Duo starts talking. ^^;;; hopefully no one gets confused)

The lights were out when Heero came back into the apartment twenty minutes later.

Duo had gone to bed.

Or maybe he was just hiding out in his room, trying to pretend what had happened between them didn't happen, trying to pretend that he didn't exist.

He was a fool. He knew all about discipline. He had learned it in the hardest school. Why hadn't he used it tonight? Why had he put Duo on the spot? It was the wrong time. Not that any time would be right. Not for him. Not for them. Too much had happened that—

"Are you going to stand there all night, Heero?" I called out. "Come to bed."

He went rigid and slowly turned toward my bedroom. "Duo?"

"Who do you think it is? There are only two of us in the apartment." I paused, and when I spoke again my voice had become unsteady. "And one of us is scared to death about this."

Heero moved toward me.

"Two of us Duo," he whispered. "Two of us."

***************

New Orleans was suiting Odin extremely well. The crowded streets were always convenient to his profession.

The man was right ahead of him. Gray suit, no tie, balding head.

Odin dodged a drunken couple coming out of a bar. His pace quickened. He couldn't lose this quarry. Dekim was upset, but this should pacify the bastard.

The man in the gray suit was heading down Bourbon toward Canal Street. His car was probably parked in one of the lots on Canal.

Odin cut down to Royal, then ran at full speed before doubling back to Bourbon.

He was breathing heavily as he stepped into the alley.

He waited.

A woman in a short skirt and leopard-patterned high heels passed the alley.

He waited.

Gray suit, bald head.

There.

The pencil-slim blade of his knife cut through the gray suit straight to the heart even as he dragged the man into the alley.

***************

"Heero."

He moved closer, his mouth trailing kisses downward. "Nani?"

"I want my camera."

He raised his head staring at me incredulously. "I beg your pardon?"
"Will you get me my camera?"

"I will not. I'm otherwise occupied."

"I want to take your picture."

"Later." He suddenly chuckled. "Though I'm sure that you've discovered something through all this…"

I rolled my eyes. But I had to admit that I did find out something rather stunning about him. Sex with Heero was glorious fun. After the first intense passionate release he had become almost playful. It had been totally unexpected. "I want to take a picture of the vainest guy I know…" I gasped as he reached down and massaged me. "I don't know if I should be pandering to your van—" I couldn't talk anymore. My climax was mounting.

"Pander to me Duo," he whispered. "I need it. I need you"

*************** (^^;; yeah I admit that was a tad weird…)

I nestled in closer staring out dreamily into the darkness. I felt small curled up with Heero. It was kinda strange how I didn't seem to resent that thought. In fact it felt… cozy, nice. "What time is it?"

Heero looked at the luminous dial of the clock on the nightstand. "Four thirty-five." He brushed a kiss on my temple. "Why? Do you have another appointment?"

"Don't be so flip. It's not as if I'm not a busy guy. You're just lucky you happened to catch me between jobs."

"Yesh, that's the only lucky thing that's happened to me lately."

A little of my contentment ebbed away as memory intruded. No, there hadn't been good luck in my life lately either.

"Don't think about it." He drew me closer. "To hell with—"

"Why do you compare yourself to a gargoyle, Heero? I don't agree."

He was a silent a moment before letting out a small chuckle, "Actually Wu doesn't think so either… but with my past history smeared as it is… I'd say I'm about as close to a gargoyle as one gets. When you think about it—"

"What's your real name Heero?" I questioned absently.

"Nani?"

"Well, Heero Yuy couldn't be your real name. Dekim would have recognized it from Nakoa. I think when one sleeps with another they should at least know their real name."

"How conservative of you."

"Is it Deuteronomy? Rumpelstilskin?"

"Midorikawa Hikaru. [1]"

"Midorikawa Hikaru, huh?" I shook my head. "That could take some getting used to."

"Don't get used to it. I told you, he doesn't exist anymore. [2]"

"Haven't you ever been tempted to resurrect him? I'd think that you'd—"

The phone on the bedside table rang.

I stiffened.

He reached over and picked up the receiver. "Hello." Then he sighed, sat up. And turned on the light. "For God's sake, Zechs, this better be good news. Do you know what time it is?"

Zech Marquise again? The man had to be a fanatic. I sat up and leaned against the headboard.

"What do you mean? I sent it. It should have reached you by one at the latest… How do I know? … Okay, I'll call Relena." Heero hung up. "Zechs didn't get the sample. We may have to take another one. I'll check with Relena to see what the holdup is."

"Great." I made a face as I got out of bed and reached for my robe. "Just what I need to crown the evening. I'll go get a snack."

Heero came into the kitchen a couple of minutes later. "Well, do I have to shed more blood, or did they find the—" I broke off when I registered the look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"Relena didn't know anything about the sample. Walker never notified him. As far as she knew, Walker was still on guard outside the apartment. They're looking for him now."

I swallowed. "Maybe it's just some small mistake."

"Maybe."

"But you don't think so." I hesitated. "I don't understand. It doesn't—"

I jumped when the digital phone in Heero's hand rang.

Heero punched a button and identified himself. He hung up a few moments later. "They found Walker in an alley five blocks from here. He's dead."

I stared at him in bewilderment. "Dead?"

"A stiletto in the back. No sample on him."

A stiletto. "Odin?"

Heero nodded.

"But it doesn't make sense. Why would he kill over the sample? He must know we'd just send another one."

"Maybe Odin thought the delay would please Dekim."

And I had been the one who had insisted that all CDC calls come in over my regular phone line. Walker might be alive still if Odin hadn't been able to monitor my phone.

"Stop it." Heero said roughly. "Walker was an agent. Risk goes with the job. And his death might not have anything to do with the call. It could be that Dekim wanted to give you another scare."

"Then why take the sample?" I crossed my arms over my chest to keep them from trembling. "It was my fault, dammit."

"Okay, it was your fault. But not because of anything you did. It's because of the immunity factor. Dekim and Odin are getting desperate because, for once, time may be on our side."

"Maybe. Zechs isn't sure. You're not sure."

"Pull yourself together. You'll need it. Relena's on her way over."

"Why?"

"To hit you at your weakest point. She knows she can't budge me, so she'll try to persuade you to change your mind about staying here."

"I won't change my mind." I felt a sudden rush of anger. Not only were Odin and Dekim trying to kill me but Relena was coming to bully me. "Relena can do her job and catch the bastard."

He smiled. "You tell her that."

"I will." I sat down at the table and pushed up the sleeve of my robe. "Now, get that damn kit and take another sample."

****************

"It was sheer stupidity." Dekim said coldly. "Did you think such a small delay was going to help me? It's the boy I need dead. You're a grave disappointment to me Odin."

"It will be accomplished, but when I heard how close—"

"You heard what they wanted you to hear. Do you think Heero would permit such carelessness?"

"He's always with him. It's going to take more time than I—"

"I don't have time." Dekim tried to control his anger. "Do you hear me? I don't have time. That's what this is all about."

"A few more days."

In a few more days, that Zechs Marquise at the CDC might come up with the antidote, Dekim thought with frustration. And then his entire plan would do down the tubes.

Think.

There had to be the way.

***************

Wufei arrived at the apartment before Relena got there.

"He's all right?" He asked Heero.

"I'm fine." I called from across the room. "Does everyone think I'm going to fall apart because of this?"

"Well, Relena's hoping," Wufei answered. "I got the impression she wouldn't mind losing Walker if it would push you into her camp."

"That can't be true," I said repulsed. "What kind of woman is she? Is that the type CIA produces?"

"Don't blame the organization for Relena." Heero said. "She's an ambitious girl with her back against the wall. A strike by Dekim could ruin her political ambitions."

"And forget the people who could die." I stood up and moved toward the bedroom. If I was going to do another battle with Relena, I didn't want the disadvantage of a bathrobe and mussed hair. "I'm going to shower and get dressed. Call me when Relena gets here."

It was only a little before six I realized as I walked into the bathroom. It seemed impossible that merely an hour and a half earlier I had been lying in bed with Heero. Yet the evidence of intimacy was still there: the rumpled covers, the impression of our heads on the pillows.

Not only sex, but intimacy, I thought as I stepped into the shower. The fact was shocking. What would have happened if I wouldn't have been so abruptly jarred out of that crazy euphoria? It was probably for the best. He had proved to be a great lover, but I was too vulnerable just then. I couldn't handle a relationship with a man as complicated and tormented as Heero.

Not when I was tormented by the same demons.

"Mr. Maxwell."

Christ, Relena was knocking on my bathroom door.

"Gomen, but I'm limited for time and I need to talk to you."

I turned off the shower. "I'll be out in a minute. I hope you won't mind if I dry off first."

"I know it's an inconvenience." A pause. "I'll wait in the living room."

I was surprised she hadn't invaded the bathroom and jerked me out of the shower. The more I came in contact with Relena, the more she annoyed me.

I ran a hand through my damp hair as I strode into the living room a few minutes later.

"Gomen." Heero said. "Short of breaking her neck, I couldn't have kept her from trying to hurry you."

Breaking her neck wouldn't have been such a bad idea. "Did you guys give her the new sample?"

Heero nodded. "But she's not satisfied with the milk she wants the cow."

"What a way with words," Wufei murmured. "You don't resemble a cow in the slightest Duo. Well… maybe perhaps there's a cow somewhere named Duo. But I've only seen commercials with Bessie the cow or some such—"

"You must see why it can't go on like this," Relena cut in. "It's not safe for you and it's not safe for the public either. Not to mention my own mess. Walker has a family. Do you want to be the one to tell them that—"

"Stop right there." Heero said.

"It's okay. No, I don't want to tell them," I said unevenly. "I feel terrible about him. But it doesn't change the fact that my staying here is still the best way to get to Dekim. Unless you can show me that you have a better way. I'm staying."

Relena whirled on Heero. "For God's sake, tell him to get out of here. You must have some influence with him."

Heero shook his head.

"Damn you." Relena's voice was shaking with anger. "It's your fault Heero. Do you think I don't know you're using him so you can get Dekim? You don't care that I'm going to be crucified. I won't let you do it. No way."

She stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

"I think she's a little upset." Wufei shook his head reprovingly. "Really Heero, setting up a poor defenseless guy like Duo. It's deplorable."

"I'm surprised she thinks I could manipulate you. We've all been dancing on your strings."

"I can see why she does." I glanced at the bedroom. Relena might be a selfish, bitch, but she wasn't stupid. She had been in my bedroom and had seen that two people had obviously occupied the bed. She clearly thought Heero was using a sexual relationship to influence me. "But she's mistaken."

"Yes, she is." Heero's gaze was on my face. "Completely."

"I think this is the time I offer to furnish breakfast." Wufei rose to his feet. "And since I can't cook, I'll go down to the Café De Monde and bet a bag of beignets to go." He checked his watch. "I walk very slowly, but I should be back in an hour or so."

"You don't have to leave," I said.

But he was already gone.

"Last night wasn't about using you, Duo." Heero said quietly.

"Don't be stupid." I walked over to the window. "I know that."

"Then why aren't you looking at me?"

"I feel… awkward. I don't have one-night stands."

"For God's sake this isn't a one-night stand."

"It can't be anything else." I said haltingly. "It's crazy to think the two of us could have any type of relationship."

There was a silence behind me. "Oh, then you've chalked me up as another one of your mistakes? Like that philandering boyfriend?"

Had I hurt him? Christ, I didn't want to hurt him.

"I wouldn't be a mistake for you Duo. We'd be good together."

I shook my head.

"Look at me dammit."

"It's not your fault. I was lonely and I needed…"

"This is a mistake."

"Don't make this difficult for me, Heero." I said shakily.

A silence.

"We'll go to bed again, you know." He said. "But you don't have to worry about me jumping you, but I won't try to stop it when it happens." I heard him move away. "I'm going to take a shower. I still smell of you and it's driving me crazy."

The tension didn't leave me even after he'd disappeared. His last words had brought the night tumbling back to me. Close it out. I had done the right thing. I couldn't afford to have my focus blurred. I couldn't think about Heero.

I had to remember Quatre.

***************

"Are you sure he's competent?" Treize's voice was edged. "I still think one of my own men would have been better. Their loyalty can't be bought."

Dekim's hand tightened on the receiver. That loyalty was just the quality Dekim wanted to avoid. The reason he'd wasted so much time on finding Catalonia was that he'd known he couldn't control any of Trieze's men. Bribery and threats would work beautifully on everyone but a fanatic. "Trey is quite brilliant and your men are too valuable to waste on his task. You're wanted by the authorities here in the U.S. and you need them for protection. I hope you've found a safe location?"

"A farm outside Kansas City. And you should worry about yourself. You move from motel to motel with no guards to watch your back."

"I'm accustomed to taking care of myself. I prefer not to risk betrayal. That's always a possibility."

"And the boy. If my men had gone after him, he would not still be alive."

Dekim's smile faded. "Heero knew all of your men. And they knew him. It would have presented problems." Heero would have gathered them up and squeezed everything they knew from them. Odin had not proved effective, but at the least he had not been caught.

"And you'll be glad to know I've arranged to personally supervise the matter myself."

"I can't move yet. I need three more days."

"You'll get them." He hung up the phone.

Three days.

Dekim could feel the tightness in his shoulders and shrugged to loosen them. He mustn't let the pressure get to him. He had planned too long for the moment at hand. Nothing must go wrong. He could not permit anything to stop him now.

The boy was just another barrier to over come.

And if you couldn't attack a barrier from the front, you just went around and attacked from the rear.

Three days…

**************

[1] – If you haven't already guessed I used Heero's oh so adorable V.A.'s name for his real name

[2] – Midorikawa Hikaru doesn't exist anymore ;____________; NAAAAAAH!!! That's only why we all (well maybe not all you ^^;;;) saw him at Otakon 2001 *_____* Midorikawa Hikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!! *glompies him again* [M.H. : ^___^;;; *waves*] ^_______________________________^

*bows* forgive me my fellow loyal loving FFN readers/writers! *puppy dog eyes* I said I wouldn't fade and I did. . Part of the reason was my compie died and it took me over a week to revive it to semi-working conditions. And Secondly… school started thus taking up more time… hopefully my compie will now start typing more than 2 letter per minute and I can make better progress… but until then I will glomp Midorikawa Hikaru and make him sing Take Off To The Sky! LOL