More Aeris bashing

More Aeris bashing!

If you read this and you're an Aeris fan, you're really stupid because obviously it's gonna be mean to Aeris and therefore why did you click on it if you like her? This leads me nicely on to the people who flamed my '15 Ways Aeris SHOULD have died' fic. WHY THE HELL DID YOU READ IT IF YOU LIKED HER????? Geez…… What did you think it was going to be about, why were you so against killing her, SHE'S A COMPUTER CHARACTER FOR GOD'S SAKE!!

Ahem, so this won't get kicked off for being a load of nothing, I'll get on with the story now…

(Dark Angel scrambles for a plot, one appears in her head, and hence, this is what happens…)

We cut to where Cloud is first meeting Aeris. He sees the face of the ugliest thing ever known to man staring at him a he comes to. He screams and runs into Reno and the other guys.

Reno: Hey, is the Ancient in there?

Cloud: Yeah, I'll be seeing you now…

Reno: Umm, shouldn't you be like protecting her and stuff?

Cloud: No no! I don't wanna! Take her! TAKE HER!!!

(Cloud grabs Reno and starts to shake him)

Cloud: Take her, I beg you!!!!

Aeris: Oh Cloud…

Cloud: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Get her away! Get her away!

Reno: No! You're not screwing up the plot line! Get your spikey ass in there!

Cloud: Oh man………

Cut to the barrel bit.

Aeris: Cloud!

Cloud: Aeris, (looks up and sees some conveniently place barrels) *evil grin* hold on a sec!

Aeris: What the—? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! (As Cloud 'accidentally' pushes the barrel on her head) What the hell do you think you're doing?!

Cloud: What do YOU think huh? So you really ARE as stupid as you look! I'm TRYING to kill your flowery ass!

Aeris: Oh…. Okay then.

Cloud: Reno! What do you think you're waiting for? Take her! Take her now!

Reno: Oh, okay (grabs Aeris and the world is happy again, despite the HUGE hole in the plot line)

Cut to the plate pillar bit. The Shinra helicopter is circling above with Aeris in her

Aeris: Barret, don't worry! She's safe!

Barret: Okay, I don't need you anymore. (Start to shoot her)

Aeris: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!! Stop perforating me!!

Barret: What the hell are you talking about? Big word… can't….. understand! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! (Goes crazy and jumps off the pillar)

Tifa: Oh great! There goes the plot AGAIN!

Cloud: But he's the one that finds the wire to get us off here!!!

3………..2…………..1………..

Cloud: Oh…. CRAP!!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! (The pillar explodes killing Tifa and Cloud. The explosion luckily catches the helicopter, thus killing Aeris but not the Turks because they're cool. They just manage to jump off somehow.)

Reno: Oh god. LOOK AT THE PLOT!!!

Rude: What plot?

Reno: EXACTLY!!!!!

Elena: Oh MAN!!!

Tseng: Now what do we do?

Reeve: Let's go set up a tea shop in Cosmo Canyon!!!!!

All: YEAH!!!

(The Turks skip off into the sunset, thus ensuring the vague and pointless end to this fic!)