A Matter of Pride

And I'd give up forever to touch you,
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow.

-"Iris" - Goo Goo Dolls

You lost yourself in your search to find,
Something else to hide behind…
Can't be weak, can't stand still.
Watch your back, 'cause no one will.

-"Simon" – Lifehouse

After you're gone you can't help looking back, it's something unavoidable. I see that people thought of me as cold, heartless maybe. But was it true? Maybe if I had a second chance, I would do things differently.

But then again, maybe I wouldn't.

I was raised to be a warrior, the leader of my people. Such silly things as emotions could not be allowed to interfere! I was one of the last Saiyajin, a once proud, and noble race. But coming to earth changed that. I was defeated by a low class warrior, me, the Prince of Saiyajin! I refused to believe that maybe it wasn't raw power that would win the fight, but these emotions I was raised to believe were weaknesses…

Then as I stayed longer on Earth, they began to effect me too… If you asked me, I would deny it with everything I had, but the truth was that I began to feel… For that woman, no less. But then again, I have never regretted it. She was, and in my eyes still is, a beautiful and fiery woman, with a spirit that couldn't be broken. She would make a good warrior, never backing down and always defiant, even to me.

And I could never forget she gave me you, my son. As I've looked down on you through the years you have never failed my memory, and have always exceeded my expectations. If I was still alive I doubt you would have once heard the words from my mouth, but they'd be in my heart all the same. I regret that you had to grow up without a father, but you've turned out to be so much more than I expected, and a true Prince.

You are the best of your mother and of me, exactly what this world cried for in its time of need. You feel for those that you fight for, something that I rarely felt in all my battles. But you also do not allow this to make you weak. You have learned that rage is the true fuel for your power, but you do not allow it to consume you as I did. Letting anger rule me is perhaps one of my largest regrets. And your sense of duty and honor is enough to satisfy anyone, even me.

Your mother loves you, and I can see how much she means to you. I care for you too, my son, even if I can't tell you. But I am here with you too; even if you can't see me I know that you can feel it. What I would give to be there with you, as a father should be there for his son. If only I could go back and change the past… but I can't. You and I both know that, perhaps you even more than I.

Sometimes I wonder about the trips to the past that you never knew. How did I treat you? Did you find your father someone you could be proud of, someone maybe you could even love? I know what I was like back then, and what I was up until I died, and I'm sure I did not treat you as I should have. Did I even acknowledge you, a son from a time I've never known, who was stronger than me, a Super Saiyajin before he was twenty? I'm sure I was hostile to you, but I also heard you say how I defended you in battle… So even in that time I must have been proud of you.

That's what it really comes down to. No matter where I am, dead or alive, you are my son Trunks, and I love you for all that you are. I'm always here watching over you, whether you can feel me or not. I couldn't have asked for a better son, for as the last Saiyajin you have kept our race proud and noble.

In the end that's what it comes down to. What makes us so much alike, even as you've grown up without me.

It's a mater of pride.