"Carter can have you

Disclaimer:  I don't own them… yadda yadda… don't sue me, anybody…

Carter Can Have You

"Carter can have you."

The words echoed in her mind.  All day and night, they were stuck there, haunting her.

"What can I get you?"

The voice jolted Abby out of her thoughts.  She looked up to see a waitress standing over her, pen poised.

"Uh… A coffee, please.  Black.  Thanks."

The waitress nodded and tucked her notepad back in her apron as she walked away.

Abby sighed and cupped her chin in her hands.  It was midnight, and she'd headed over to Doc Magoo's right after her nine-hour shift at the ER had ended.

She was tired.  After her and Luka's breakup, she hadn't been getting much sleep.  Not that she usually slept like a log, anyway.  But she kept thinking about what happened.  It felt like the right thing, she was almost sure.  Luka just wasn't the person she wanted to be with anymore… They'd grown apart.  Or something.

Abby sighed.  Even if breakups were mutual, they still hurt.  After the anger had abandoned her, she was left with a dull ache in her chest.  She'd think of the fun things they'd done together, in the beginning.

These thoughts inevitably led to thoughts of the not-so-good times.  Then, the breakup.

"You always act like you have an insect up your anus!"

"Why do you always have to be such a bitch?!"

And then…

"Carter can have you."

What did that even mean?  Abby told herself she didn't know.  Told herself Luka was crazy.  Told herself Carter was crazy, for saying what he did.  He probably didn't mean anything by it, she'd tell herself constantly.

But she knew better.  She knew how he felt… but how did she feel?

The waitress came back with the coffee.  Abby mumbled a "thanks" and took a sip of the boiling-hot liquid.  It immediately burned her tongue.  "Shit," she said crossly, mad at herself - not only just about the coffee, but also about not knowing what to do about Carter.

She had mixed feelings.  They were great friends; she didn't want to ruin that.  But she felt the attraction, in spite of herself, strong as ever, when she saw Carter.  She could tell he cared a great deal - it was evident by the way he said her name.  "Abby."  She could hear him say it now, softly and full of emotion.  She could see his face and kind eyes, the caring expression he seemingly saved just for her.

But he was so young!  Younger guys made Abby a little nervous, like it wasn't right.  But with Carter, it just felt natural.

Then there was Carter's family.  Look at his… look at hers.  His, the wealthy Carter's, their elegant and suave selves with their mansions and benefit dinners held in fancy hotel ballrooms.  Hers, with the dysfunctional Maggie, whom could barely be called a mother.  They didn't seem to mix well in Abby's eyes.  She didn't really feel comfortable with Carter's family… but then again, he didn't seem to be either.

She ran a hand through her dark hair, letting her mind debate with itself, as she stared into nowhere.

Abby was snapped back into reality the second time by a "Hi."

She looked up, startled.  "Carter!  Carter, hi."  There were butterflies in her chest as she saw his big brown eyes and his hair, rumpled from the wind.

"Can I join you?"  He grinned.

"Of course," she replied.  He smiled again and slid opposite her onto the bench seat of the booth.

He ordered a coffee and turned his bewitching gaze and full attention back to Abby.

"Hard shift?  You look beat."

"Long day," she replied, avoiding his gaze.  She was afraid of what expression he'd read in her eyes.

"That's it?"

"Yeah."  She shifted on the bench.  "I'm fine."

"You know, you don't seem to be telling the truth." There was that smile again.

Suddenly Abby was overwhelmed with emotion.  It all came in a rush and she tried to hold it back by biting her lip.

"Abby?"  She could hear the caring in his voice, which just made it all worse.  "Abby, what's wrong?"

She couldn't hold it back any longer and the tears flowed down her face like a river.  Carter got up from his seat and moved across next to her. 

"Abby," he said in a soothing voice.  "Talk to me.  What's wrong?"

She didn't want him to see her like this.  With all her power, she held back the tears and wiped her face with a napkin.

"I'm fine," she said, as convincingly as possible.

"Come on, Abby," he said.  "You are not fine and you are going to tell me what's wrong.  We're taking a walk."

She didn't object.  He left a couple bucks on the table and they pulled their coats on and left, her hand tucked protectively in the crook of his arm.

To be continued???   You tell me…