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Chapter 8
He reached for her. She retreated two steps before she could think, then stood her ground. Fresh tears burned, but she'd be damned, if he'd see them.
"Please, beautiful…" he pleaded. He saw her eyes flicker, before she stiffened her spine and dropped an iron shutter between them. "I'm so sorry. I-" his voice cracking, as he watched her stack that impenetrable wall, brick by brick. Her eyes, so impossibly blue, grew cold and accusing. Ghoul girl's eyes. "I-I have no excuse, Chloe. I don't know what came over me. I just-" He blinked away shameful tears. "I just-" He stared into his outstretched arms. "I just couldn't stand the thought of losing you." Overwhelmed by emotion, he covered his face, crumbling before her icy rejection.
It was over. After everything they'd been through - the bet, the serenade, and stolen moments of bliss since then, in one blind, furious moment, he'd ruined it all. Broken, he leaned against a stack of crates.
The touch to his shoulder was so soft that he scarcely felt it. When he felt her arms encircle him, his knees almost buckled. His tear-ravaged eyes opened to meet her equally tortured blue. And then, he pulled her desperately against him. "Please, forgive me, Chloe."
She closed her eyes, not trusting her own voice. Philip was trembling against her. In her heart, she knew his remorse was sincere, but… Old tears streaked down her cheeks. Her weary heart, abused, scarred again and again, didn't know how much more it could take. She drew in his familiar cologne and wanted so much to believe in happy endings.
But like childhood fairy tales, they weren't meant to be.
In the end, he still let her down. She still got burned.
"I guess, I'll see you tomorrow."
She nodded, never allowing her eyes to meet his, and then walked into her house.
Philip's shoulders drooped. She hadn't said a word the whole afternoon, then evening. After he'd broken down on the pier, she'd simply held him, as he continued to blubber. Eventually, they'd sat on the dock and watched ships passing one another across the horizon. He'd stolen glances, trying to figure out what she was thinking. But she stared, almost blankly, across the water. She'd withdrawn somewhere, where he couldn't reach her. When he cautiously tucked a wayward tress behind her ear, an emotion passed over her face so quickly that he thought he'd imagined it. As night crept into Salem, they headed back to her house, walking in uncomfortable silence, never touching.
Philip rubbed a fist over his heart and watched the soft light come on in her room. He closed his eyes against the pain, flooded with memories of Chloe smiling down at him from that window.
If there was a hell, he was in it.
Devastated, he turned away from her window and ran out of the gates, up the hill toward his house. Faster and faster his legs pumped against the unforgiving pavement. The streets and houses went by in a blur. The frigid air was like iced needles stabbing his face, but he didn't care. He didn't want to care or think about anything.
He nearly crashed into the solid oak door. Painfully out of breath, he gripped the doorknob with one hand and his knee with the other for balance. He concentrated on his raging heartbeat, while his body recovered. He wiped the sweat from his brow before slipping into the house. All he wanted to do was take a long shower and then hide beneath his covers until this nightmare was over.
His hand had just touched the banister, when he heard angry voices from the sitting room. Great, just what he needed. Another heartwarming moment at the Kiriakis lodge. Then, a frightening crash had Philip running to open the doors.
"You're so pathetic, Lucas. So pathetic that watching Sami take you down doesn't even sound fun anymore." Nicole rolled her eyes and sneered at the sight of her so-called husband, collapsed on the floor in a puddle of whiskey. "Whatever. Let Kate and Sami deal with you. I've got better things to do."
Drunk beyond reason, Lucas struggled but failed to stand. "Like what, huh?" he slurred.
Her lips almost curled at the stench of his breath. "Bigger fish, loser. Much bigger fish." Grinning to herself, she turned and almost collided into a stony faced Philip.
"Hey, Philip," smirked Nicole, "Back from the little girlfriend already, eh?" She gave him a patronizing tug on his chin and only grinned, when he pulled away, repulsed. "Aw. Something about you Kiriakis men, I tell ya." Smiling at her own private joke, she sauntered out.
Philip quickly crossed the room to help his brother.
"Come on, Lucas. Pull yourself together, man," huffed Philip, as he tried to keep his brother's arm securely on his shoulder. "You don't want Will seeing you like this, do you?"
Lucas perked up at the mention of his son's name. "Will. I love that little guy. Gotta do right by him. Keep him from Sami."
Philip almost passed out from the stink of ingested liquor. He hauled his brother upright and half-carried him to the staircase. "Come on, man. Work with me here."
"Women," slurred a wasted Lucas, tripping on a step, "You think they're so pretty an-and sweet an-and sexy. Then BAM!" The brothers almost tumbled down the steps, when Lucas flung a fist to the ceiling. "They fuck you over, while you're still high on their fucking perfume. Oh, God." His legs gave way and he fell flat on face just before they reached the second floor. "I'm gonna throw up."
Philip cursed. He gripped Lucas around the chest and dragged him to his room, straight into the bathroom. Philip held his brother's head over the toilet bowl and watched him retch up his supper. When Lucas leaned back, exhausted, against the tiles, Philip stripped him out of his soiled clothes and dragged Lucas in his boxers to the bed.
Sighing from weariness, Philip picked up the phone to call the servant quarters.
"Henderson. Lucas got wasted again. Thanks." He hung up and looked down at his older brother.
Lucas was quietly crying now. "God, I still love her," he sobbed.
"I know, buddy," sighed Philip, as he pulled the covers over his brother. "I know."
"There you are," huffed Belle during lunch break the next day. She'd combed the school, searching for her friend. Belle finally spotted the distinctive long hair in the courtyard. "Everyone's been wondering where you were."
Chloe continued to stare at two birds huddled inside a warm tree trunk.
"Chloe?" Belle sat down beside her silent friend. She laid a hand on Chloe's shoulder but got no response. "We're really worried about you, Chloe. Especially Philip," added Belle, hoping his name would get her attention. Chloe only blinked, then stiffened. "I know, what he did yesterday really hurt you. I'd be devastated, too. But, Chloe, he feels horrible for what he did and would do anything to make it up to you. You know he loves you." Belle turned Chloe to face her. "You know that, don't you? Deep down inside? He fell for you hard and people in love sometimes do stupid things," said Belle, thinking of her own parents and her own troubles.
She looked up to see Chloe's eyes filling and was grateful. "Plus, he's a guy and they come kinda stupid to begin with." Chloe choked up a laugh and her tormented eyes finally met Belle's. "And we're all your friends, Chloe, even though Mimi has a funny way of showing it." To that, Chloe gave an unladylike snort. Belle laid a comforting hand on Chloe's cheek. "Give us another chance. Give yourself another chance."
Then, like a dam no longer able to hold back the insurmountable tide, the hot tears came and for the first time Chloe sobbed in her friend's arms.
"She's not coming. I know it, she's not coming," mumbled Philip for the hundredth time, his eyes glued to the doorway.
"Belle said she's bringing Chloe, so Chloe's coming, okay?" assured Shawn again.
The party was already hopping with liquor and lewd water sports. Jason and Brady not only participated but instigated what was becoming a wild winter pool party. Anytime parents went out of town, Salem teens made sure to take every advantage of it. The pool was already packed with barely covered bodies, only a fraction of which were from Salem High. The affiliations of the remainder were anyone's guess.
"I don't like it. Two girls escorting themselves to a party, dressed in bikinis," muttered Philip.
It sure had given Shawn some bad moments, thinking of creepy jerks slobbering over Belle. Nonetheless, someone had to stay calm and rational. And Philip definitely was out of the running. "Hey, it's like twenty below outside, remember? It's not like they're walking around on the street with their suits on. Chill, man. This is a party, right?"
Philip grunted in response. This wasn't a party. This was a neverending nightmare. He wished that he could just be a normal guy and eagerly await seeing his girlfriend in a skimpy blue bikini. But he felt like tonight was the night. When everything would be on the line. Sink or swim, Kiriakis.
Shawn let out a breath of relief. "There they are." He pointed to the arriving blond and brunette. "See? Told you they'd come." He pulled Philip along, as he cut through the dense crowd to Belle and Chloe.
They were already taking off their thick jackets, when the natatorium's humid air became too much to bear. Their jeans were practically sticking to their legs.
"Hey, Belle, Chloe!" welcomed Shawn, when they finally reached the girls.
"Hey, Shawn," greeted Belle with warm rosy cheeks, which, she hoped, were entirely attributed to the cold. The boy did have an exceptional chest.
"So, where's Mimi?" asked Shawn.
"Oh, she said, her parents would drop her off after the meeting with Habitat."
"Awesome," exclaimed Shawn. "Only a couple of weeks away from finishing, just in time for the holidays."
Meanwhile, Philip had eyes only for Chloe, but she looked away, saying nothing.
May Day, May Day, thought Philip.
"Well," began Belle, watching the disheartening scene, "Chloe and I have got to change."
"The coatroom's back there," indicated Shawn, "Right next to the shower room, where you can change." It must be the humidity that made his palms sweat, Shawn told himself, as Belle walked off with Chloe to the changing room. He turned and saw gloom written all over Phil's face. "Chill, man. The night's young. It's time for you to get off your ass and use that Kiriakis charm you've been harping about. Come on, buddy." With that, Shawn swung an encouraging arm around Phil's shoulders and set out to find the bar.
After another pep talk from Belle, Chloe in a short, thin gray robe emerged from the shower room. She'd insisted on walking to the party area alone, knowing this event was yet another step in finding herself. There were so many strange faces, all engaged in pursuit of the here and now. Girls shamelessly flirted with guys and showed not an ounce of insecurity. Oh, how Chloe envied them. She wished that she could laugh so easily and accept a stroke on the elbow without intense suspicion. Chloe closed her eyes and took a calming breath. The music was loud and pounded against her rib cage. No Puccini, but any semblance of music comforted her.
She jumped, when a hand touched her shoulder from behind. She took another breath, inwardly hoping it was Philip. She turned and faced an intense pair of blue eyes.
"Hello, Signorina," smiled a buzzed Brady.
"Hey, there. And what's your name?" smiled a more than tipsy boy in jungle-print trunks.
"Um, excuse me," answered Mimi, as she brushed by him. Where the heck were Belle and Shawn? She searched through the jam-packed crowd. Growing more than a little self-conscious in her lilac tankini, she crossed her arms over her chest, as she elbowed her way toward the pool. In the short distance between the shower room and the bar, three guys had already propositioned her. They would have been a boost for her confidence, if they'd been remotely sober and not staring blatantly at her chest. Oh, where was Belle?
Suddenly, Mimi collided into a seven-foot giant. "Whoa, little missy." He turned around and grinned at the lush figure before him. "Where you going in such a hurry?" he asked, as he reached for her elbow.
"Um, excuse me," mumbled Mimi, when she tried to get by him. His bulky arms basically caged her in.
"My name's Kevin, you know, star tackle for Lincoln High," he said, accustomed to the female perks that came with his fame.
"Uh, sure, listen, I've gotta go-" said Mimi, as she tried to get passed him again.
"Hey, you still haven't told me your name, missy," he said, while he tightened the hold on her arms.
Now, she was annoyed. "Because I don't want to, jerk. Now, let me go!"
"Hey, Kev, whatcha got there?" burped his teammate two steps away.
"Little Miss Hard to Get," replied a laughing Kevin. He effortlessly picked her up, kicking and screaming. "This'll cool her off." He tossed her into the pool with his buddies cracking up behind him.
"Hey, asshole!" Jason shoved him from behind. Kevin turned, itchy for a fight, until he realized that he faced a growling pack of Salem High football stars. Kevin's teammates backed away, knowing they were outnumbered and out-muscled.
Jason jumped into the pool and guided a shivering Mimi to the pool's edge and lifted her out. His buddy handed him a towel, which he wrapped around her.
Kevin looked on, simmering with anger.
Jason stared him down, pulling Mimi to his side. "What, punk? Not so tough, when you're not pushing around a girl, aren't you? You come near her again and you'll be sorry."
"This ain't over, man," threatened Kevin, before he reluctantly turned and walked away with his buddies to the bar.
Jason clenched his fist, almost wishing the boy had been stupid enough to throw a punch.
"Thanks," said a soft voice next to him. He looked down to see Mimi, timidly pulling the towel around her.
"Yeah, sure," he told her, as he tried to let the pent-up violence go. "Are you alright? Did that guy hurt you?"
"No. Just got soaked." She forced a shrug. "It's a pool party, right?"
He shook his head. "Listen, don't go off by yourself again, ok? You're just asking for trouble."
"What?" Offended, Mimi set her hands on her hips. "Oh, I get it. This is all my fault."
He held up his hands in defense. "Hey, wait. I didn't mean it that way-"
"Let me get this straight," she angrily cut him off. "This jerk can't take no for an answer, and I was asking for it? Oh, I know, my body was sending him mixed signals."
His eyes involuntarily flitted down to her suit, before he realized what he was doing. "No, wait!"
"Forget it!" Mimi turned away, disappearing into the crowd.
He ran a frustrated hand through his dripping hair. Women. Will he ever understand them? Here he was playing reluctant hero and he got a hissy fit. He sighed and shook his head. Then, Mimi in that pretty suit unexpectedly came to mind. He speculated and grinned.
"Where the hell is she?" muttered Philip again.
Shawn sighed. This party so far wasn't much of one with his friend, obsessing over Chloe. Philip was definitely taking worrywart to new heights. "Relax, Phil. You know how girls are. Group bathroom visits take at least a half-hour." Then, Shawn swore his mind numbed.
"Hi, guys," greeted Belle in a strapless, hot red bikini.
When Shawn stood frozen and mute, Philip jabbed him comically in ribs.
"Belle, yeah, hi," sputtered Shawn.
She inwardly grinned and enjoyed the way his eyes skimmed her body from head to foot.
"Where's Chloe?" asked Philip with growing apprehension.
Belle looked toward the changing room. "She should be out any minute. Just needed to freshen up."
Philip ran an uncomfortable hand through his hair. This was unbearable. "I'm gonna go look for her."
Before Shawn and Belle could stop him, he pushed his way into the crowd toward the shower room.
"Man, Philip and Chloe have been pretty edgy lately," commented Shawn.
"Oh, they'll be fine. All couples go through rough patches," assured Belle. "So, um…" she began, suddenly shy, as they realized they were alone. "I'm really thirsty. I'd better go get a drink."
"Oh, I'll get it for you," piped Shawn a little too enthusiastically, "I mean, I need a drink, too…" A tall one. "Wait here-on second thought," he added, when he spotted some nearby guys checking her out, "Maybe you should come with me." He laced her fingers with his and led her through the crowd.
"You're mighty quiet tonight," observed Brady, as he and Chloe stepped into the solarium, which was adjacent to the natatorium.
She turned to admire the red geraniums blooming in winter. Somehow, in this glassy warm room, spring continued, while the snowstorm raged outside. Chloe took a seat on a marble bench and marveled how some people could live in such a place, while others sifted through garbage bins for food. How did fate choose who would have everything, and who would get nothing?
"I kinda figured," began Brady, interrupting her thoughts, "That orgy of people made you uncomfortable. The chick with the legs-" What was her name now? Brady shrugged. "The chick's got some awesome digs, don't you think?" He shrugged again, when she said nothing. "Her folks are CEOs of some company or other. Probably one of my grandfather's," he chuckled to himself. "Yeah, awesome place. Too bad the parents visit like every other weekend. Too busy with themselves to actually play house."
Chloe only turned to look at a slender orchid, held precariously against a supporting stick.
"Yeah, life's about give and take," continued Brady, "Awesome digs, though."
Mellowed from his second beer, he slid onto the bench and grinned foolishly at himself. Here and now was all that mattered. Who cares, if his stepmother was out to get him and everyone else thought he was a wash-up? For now, he thought with another swig of beer, he'd party and enjoy the company of a beautiful girl. With his fuzzy brain, he was lucky to have recognized her in the crowd. She'd looked lost. He shrugged. Welcome to club.
"So, is this charades or are you gonna talk to me here?" asked Brady without much preference for one option or the other.
Chloe nudged up her glasses. "Why did you drop out of college?"
"Ah, my reputation precedes me, I see," he said with a sardonic laugh. "I dropped out, because life sucks and it might as well suck right here at home."
"Is it because you miss your mother?" she asked, taking him by surprise.
"My, my, word does get around. Did my little sister or Uncle Phil tell you that?" When she only stared at him, Brady shrugged. "Whatever, my mom's been dead, since I was a baby, so how could I miss her, right? May I remind you that this is a party, not twenty depressing questions?"
"You wanted me to talk, so I'm talking," retorted Chloe, "I didn't realize the topic had to be of your choosing." With an aristocratic brow arched, she turned and inspected a flourishing philodendron.
"Man, you're pretty good at making people feel small. Is that so you don't have to deal with your own screwed-up life?"
She gave an indignant sniff and fingered a viney leaf.
Brady rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine. I have an evil stepmother and my dad worships the ground she walks on, so that leaves me out of luck, ok? Plenty of people grow up without their mothers and do fine."
Chloe scoffed. "Yeah, we're your average dysfunctional American teenagers alright."
"What? I thought you lived in that comfy big house with your mom and that surgeon. Sounds pretty good to me."
"I just moved in with them a year ago." She sighed, when his brows furrowed in confusion. "Look, to make a long story short, she gave me away at birth. I lived with foster families, until she found me and asked me to live with her and my stepfather. We're still 'adjusting,' as he puts it."
"Well, that should make you happy. Your mom is alive and wanted you after all. My mom's dead and I'm stuck with a bitchy shrink." He took a bitter swallow of flattening beer.
"Well, let's just say, it's no picnic at my house either, but you've always had your father-"
Brady jeered, "Yeah, good old Dad."
"The way Belle talks about your father he's got to be the sweetest dad in the world."
"Sure, when his wife doesn't have her tentacles all over him. We used to-whatever. It doesn't matter anyhow. I'm saving up to get the hell out of Dodge. Maybe California. Sunshine, beaches, women. Anything a guy could want." He polished off his beer and set the empty bottle on the ground.
"Hmmm," said Chloe, who knew all about running away from her troubles, "You're right."
Brady leaned back, wanting so much to close his eyes and make the world go away. "About what?"
"Your life does suck."
He turned and looked at her with some surprise.
Then, her face bloomed into laughter. The corners of his own mouth itched and finally he gave in and laughed with her. The liquor made him laugh harder and soon his sides hurt and his eyes were tearing. Wiping at the tears, he turned to look at Chloe, who was still smiling. Maybe it was the liquor mixed in with randy male hormones that made her look so breathtaking.
Before he could think about it, he reached out to cup her cheek, as her smile faded into shock. "God, you're pretty." He touched his lips to hers, and when she didn't resist, his lips pressed fully onto hers.
Still in shock, Chloe lifted a hand to his chest, thinking to push him away. But instead, her hand lay motionless, curiously fascinated by the feel of someone new and someone who was perhaps needier than she was.
"Oh, my God," gasped a voice from the entranceway.
Chloe abruptly broke the kiss and turned to see Philip, standing frozen in shock.
Confused and muddled by the alcohol, Brady followed her gaze and saw the color drain out of Philip's face. Even in Brady's semi-intoxicated state, he realized how this all looked: Brady, bare-chested in trunks, kissing someone else's girlfriend in a short, thin robe. He held up a hand to explain, but Chloe shot him a look for silence. Brady would only make things worse.
She opened her mouth to speak, but the utter devastation in Philip's eyes left her own heart in tatters. Her tears matched his, as the gravity of what she'd done overwhelmed her with a wave of shame.
Chloe had become the betrayer. For all her self-pity and catastrophizing about other people hurting her, she had turned around and committed one of the greatest of betrayals against Philip.
Philip, who had been there for her without question, when she cried from recurrent fits of insecurity. Philip, who made her believe for the first time in her life that she was beautiful and special, who showed her by example that people do change and possibly for the better. Philip, who gave her the happiest and most carefree moments of her life. With all her experience in heartache, how could she have treated him so carelessly? Knowing any explanation would be unworthy, she reached for him.
He jolted backward, as if her touch repelled him. He looked into those eyes that he loved so much and felt his heart breaking into a thousand pieces. The image of her in the arms of another man burned forever into his mind.
"I don't want anyone to kiss me but you," she'd said to him.
He closed his eyes against the pain.
Arriving footsteps from behind went unheard.
Philip opened his eyes to look almost beseechingly at Chloe. How could you, his eyes pleaded.
"I thought, you were different," he whispered. Then, he turned, blindly breaking through Shawn, Belle, and Mimi, and ran out of the room.
The three looked at the scene and each other in confusion, not knowing what to say.
Chloe stared at the spot, where he'd stood, and whispered Philip's name.
Stories by Shade
All rights reserved.
