We only chose to borrow these characters for a bit to do what we enjoy doing. All that we own is our lovely plot! No
copyright infrigment is intended in any way shape or form.
With that out of the way...
Title: Imitor Vita Pro Amor (Imitating Life For Love)
Authors: Peroxide Pest and Nocturne Wytche, AKA Celeste and Debbie
Spoilers: All Seasons
Dedications: Well, I'd like to say thanks to all those wonderful S/B
writers out there that have inspired me and my sister to come
outta our shells and see what y'all think of our lil fics. We'd
probably like to thank each other for putting up with each other and
the sort, and of course for being so good at writing together, you
can barely tell where one of us begins and one ends. Also, to
our sister, Keren, who still loves Angel, we forgive you :P Lea,
thanks for all the help and support, blessed be sister.
Summary: A few unsuspected visitors come back to good ol' SunnyD and
cause some more havoc in our favorite slayer's life.
She must also decide where her feelings for Spike lay. A run
in with a demon changes things for Spike. S/B
Rated: R just to be safe
Note: songs come into a lot of play in the next few chapters, just to
let you all know. Sorry if it becomes a nuisance, but hey
its the music of our character's hearts :P Or something to that
affect... Plus, it leads to plenty of s/b romantic tension, which
we
all love! Also, no copyright infringement intended on these beautiful
songs, that are the backgrounds to the soul of this story :)
P.S.: We've also come to notice that Spike purring...is a GREAT thing
:P *EG*
P.S.S Due to 2 minor complaints/mentions we've fixed the format
so its easier for you all to read and enjoy, and we're such sticklers to
please our fans; its fixed :P enjoy!
Without further blabbings:
Imitor Vita Pro Amor
Part 9
Buffy woke up the next morning more tired than she had been when
she went to sleep. It was an odd sensation, and she walked around in a
nebulous cloud all morning. Dawn didn't seem much better, but at least
she had gotten her history homework done. Buffy realized in the middle
of making her coffee that Spike had volunteered to help her with it. That
had been sweet.
She packed Dawn's lunch without really thinking; tossing in
a banana, some cookies, a juice box, and a peanut-butter sandwich. Spike
had packed Dawn's lunches while Buffy had been gone, she remembered him
saying peanut butter made his fangs stick. The comment had made both her
and Dawn laugh.
"I'm going now Buffy. See you at the Magic Shop," Dawn stated
briskly, grabbing her sack and walking out the door.
She remembered Dawn doing that one-day after Spike had packed
her lunch. It had been just after Buffy had gotten back, and he had still
come, just because of the routine of it. Dawn had snatched the bag and
headed for the door, but the vampire had yanked her back by her backpack
and demanded that she wasn't going to bloody well leave after he'd gone
through all the trouble without so much as a damn goodbye kiss. It had
been really cute. "Bye Dawn. Have a good day!" she stated, realizing it
was a little too late. Today was not going to be a good day.
Their talk last night had been awkward. Buffy would never be,
no matter how much practice she got, as good as her mother had been in
talking with Dawn. She vaguely wondered if she'd ever be as good at dealing
with her sister as Spike had. Dawn had apologized for yelling at Buffy
the way she did, but under no uncertain terms, had said she was no longer
angry with Buffy. She'd stated quite clearly that her sister had better
realize what Spike meant to her and let him know, because he of all people
deserved that much. Whether Buffy loved him as a friend or more was up
to her. But he had deserved to have a definitive, completely honest answer.
The moment he got back, she would have to deal with him. The 'if he came
back' never quite made it into the conversation.
Dawn had also mentioned that she had to deal with Riley. Either
take him back or make him go, because she couldn't stand to see him get
strung along by someone who obviously didn't want him. It had been a short
talk, kind of awkward, the answers short and to the point. It seemed surreal.
She jumped when the phone rang. Shaking herself to get over
whatever her problem was, she headed over to the counter and picked it
up off the wall. "Hello?"
"Buffy. Hi."
"Riley?"
"Yeah. Um, I was wondering, if you wanted to go out for lunch
today? I know I haven't been here for a while, but Graham's roommate says
that there's a great new French Café in town,"
"Um, sure," she responded automatically.
"All right! I'll pick you up at 11 then?"
"Kay."
"Bye."
"Bye."
She hung up the phone and headed back to the sink. She'd just
agreed to have lunch with Riley. Something normal to an otherwise rather
odd week. Spike wasn't here anymore. Who would she patrol with tonight?
Alone again? They fought well together. And she liked talking with him.
She'd just agreed to have lunch with Riley. It seemed normal. Truthfully,
it felt like nothing.
"It's a date then," Riley said to himself happily, hanging
up the phone in Graham's apartment, where he was staying. He had decided
this was a good time to remind Buffy that she and he could have sunshine
together, and that Spike's unhealthy obsession with her would wash away
in time. He was a stubborn bastard, but he wouldn't last. Not when he was
here. Buffy and he had been together once, and maybe then, she hadn't been
ready to fall completely in love with him, but now, things were different.
And he forgave her for everything she had done to drive them apart. He
hoped she forgave him for his incident with the vampires. They could start
over. She deserved a normal life, after all.
Perhaps in time, she'd be convinced that Spike needed to be
staked. As a former government employee, Riley knew that what the government
did never really lasted forever. He just hoped that he'd be the one to
do it. Maybe then, Buffy's unhealthy obsession with the undead would finally
be put to rest, and she could move on with her life. With him. He grinned
at the thought and whistled to himself, heading over to his suitcase to
find a suitable outfit.
Spike entered LA within record time. He pulled his DeSoto
into a spot at the nearest manhole. He'd need to spend the daytime
in the sewer until he could find a cheap hotel room willing to block the
sun. He turned the car off, took his duffel bag, threw a heavy blanket
over him and ran for the manhole. He sizzled in the heat of day.
He worked quickly, slipping into the manhole, dropping his bag at the end
of the ladder. He tossed the blanket over his shoulder, hissing from
his already scarred flesh growing hotter. He'd cool off soon.
He ducked into the shadows and headed down the dark, dank sewer.
After travelling down for some time, he found a cubby hole big
enough to rest in. He should've went to Angel. He'd put him
up for the day but he didn't really want to deal with the grandsire-poof.
Plus, there'd be questions and answers he wasn't in the mood to give Angel.
Especially when he'd tell him he was in love with Buffy. He could
see the fireworks now. No, he'd much rather deal with the sewer.
He sunk into the small space, pulling the blanket around him
for comfort. He set his duffel bag to the side and without thought,
pulled out his picture of Buffy. He traced her lips, her eyes, her
nose. God, she was so beautiful. So precious; so amazing;
so... so out of his reach. He was so not good enough for her.
But then, no one else she knew could be any better. Atleast he knew
the girl. Knew the girl, and the slayer. He knew they were
one in the same. Like him. The man and the monster. If
only she'd see through the monster and see the man. If only she just
recognized it was a part of him and loved him anyway.
He snorted, setting down the picture to light up. He inhaled
the smoke, flicking some ashes to the ground. He pulled the blanket
up further. It was only wishful thinking. He was able to see
past the slayer in Buffy only because of her love. Her love made
him believe he was more than just monster, that deep down, even without
a soul, there was a man in Spike. He'd believed it over time and
he only wished she would as well. He thought she'd be the one to
accept him for what he was and love him anyway, as Dawn did. After
all, the slayer only wanted the same thing. To be loved for all she
was.
He leaned his head back, tossing the bud of the smoke across
the sewer. He blew out the smoke and closed his eyes. His aches
and pains that were more physical were making his body tired. The
emotional ones were weighing him down. He took one last look at the
picture of Buffy and fell into a fitful sleep.
Buffy sat with Riley at the pretty little french cafe.
They sat outside in the warm sun, much to Riley's liking. She stirred
her straw in her drink. Her eyes searched the streets, staring at
people's faces.
Riley thought it a good idea to be sitting outside in the sun,
as a reminder of his humanity. And hers. He watched her with
impatience. She seemed totally in another place. Her face was
distraught and distracted. He sighed. Would she ever totally
be his? "Buff?"
She didn't answer. Just kept staring, as if searching
for someone. But, she'd never find him in the sunlight.
It was like she was in a trance. "Buffy?" he tried
again.
"Mmmm..." she murmured.
"Buffy, is everything ok?" Riley asked, reaching across the
table to grip her hand.
The touch sent her back to reality and she shot her eyes to
his. "Huh?"
Riley frowned. "You're a million miles away instead of
here with me. What's going on Buffy? Is something going on?"
"Why you say that?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy, I thought we could go out to lunch and talk. Work
on us. All we've done so far is order and thats it. I haven't
heard a peep from you in over a half hour." Riley frowned.
"If you didn't want to be here than why did you say yes?"
"Its...its...not that..." she sighed. "I.." she couldn't
tell him.
"What? What is it?" Riley urged.
She tossed her napkin on the table. "Riley... this just
isn't working..."
"What?" his heart sank.
"I'm just not in the mood today to be sitting here having lunch,"
she shook her head, full of excuses.
"Ok, so we'll leave, but not till you tell me what's got you
so bothered Buffy. I'm worried," he squeezed her hand.
She sighed, a part of her still happy he cared. "It's
really not something I feel comfortable talking to you about." she
tried honesty.
"Oh come on Buffy. You know you tell me anything!" Riley
wasn't going to let her give in that easily.
She bit her lip and sighed. "Ok, fine. You win."
she stared at him. "Spike left Sunnydale last night."
Riley wanted to scream for pure joy, but he kept it built inside.
But he couldn't help but smile. "About time."
She pulled her hand away from his. Anger flashed in her
eyes. "See, I told you I couldn't talk to you about this!"
"I'm sorry! I really am... its just I always expected
that news to be happy news to you." he paused. "Look Buffy, I know
he's your friend and he's supposedly done a lot to help you and Dawn out,
but he IS a vampire. A vampire on reprieve cuz of the chip.
You do know that if he ever got that chip removed he'd kill you, Dawn and
the scoobies. Spike's like a dog on a leash..."
"A serial killer in prison," she snorted, wishing she could
take those words away.
"Exactly." Riley smiled, glad she was taking his point
of view. "This is for the best you know. Atleast you don't
have to watch your back wondering if he's gonna turn on you."
"Spike wouldn't do that," she defended.
Riley chuckled, disbelieving his ears. "Are you serious?"
he sighed. What had this vamp done to make her accept him so much?
"Buffy, are you talking about the same Spike as me. Tall, extremely
blonde hair, black nails, leather duster, FANGS...."
"He's not all fangs and gruesome you know. He..." she
gaped at what she almost said. She was going to say he had a heart.
"He..he cares about us. He does."
"He can't Buffy. He's a vampire! He has no soul!
He can't stand in the sunlight, he casts no reflection...he's a killer.
A neutered one, but still..." Riley argued.
She wanted to believe him so badly, cuz it was what she told
herself all the time about Spike. But Spike's actions were louder
than words. The vamp was not all monster and she only wished
she'd realized it sooner. "Spike's done a lot for us! He risked
his life for us. He'd have died for us."
"When Buffy? When has Spike ever put his undead life on
the line for you?" Riley was tired of being left in the dark.
She felt her heart accelerate. It was time to let Riley
know the truth.
Dawn slipped into the magic shop an hour early. She walked
over to the Scoobies table and plopped down. "Hey." she muttered
to the group.
"Dawnie? You're a little early? Something happen
at school?" Willow saw the girl's dim expression.
"Naw, just skipped last period. I couldn't take it anymore,"
Dawn shrugged, opening her school books.
"How'd your history homework go?" Tara smiled. "Spike
give you a lot of help?"
"No, Buffy helped me," she kept her eyes on her book.
"Dawnster!" Xander smiled, coming from the back room.
His smiled died on his lips seeing her sad face. "Whats with
the pouty face Dawnster?"
Willow frowned. "Spike and Buffy fighting again? Wouldn't
she let him help you with your homework?"
Dawn's lower lip trembled with emotion. She didn't have
the strength to answer.
Giles, and Anya gathered round the table, sensing something
was up.
"Dawn, whats wrong?" Willow brushed back her long, brown hair.
Dawn's eyes filled with tears and they streamed down her cheeks.
"Spike's gone!!!" she cried, burying her head in Willow's chest.
Willow gaped, pulling the traumatized girl into her embrace.
Her friends wore the same grim expression.
"Wha...What..what happened?" Xander's throat went dry.
He'd grown fond of the bloodsucker.
"What do you mean he's gone?" Tara's voice was filled with saddness.
"Did..did Buffy??" Giles took his glasses off, starting his
nervous cleaning habit.
Dawn cried, muffled from Willow's embrace. "He left Sunnydale.
To let Buffy be happy with Riley. She chased him away! It's
all her fault!" Dawn's cries grew.
"Sh..shhhh..." Willow soothed. She was in shock.
They'd all grown fond of Spike. They all had traits in
common with the vamp surprisingly. He'd become a Scooby gang member
in all their eyes. All of them except Buffy.
Xander sat in his chair, feeling numb. He couldn't believe
the vamp was gone.
Buffy caught him up on the info on Glory and Dawn he missed
out on. "The night we battled Glory for Dawn's life..." Buffy started,
her eyes darting all around. "We went as a team. The Scoobys,
Spike and I." she paused, wondering what to say next. "I'd
beaten Glory down, but this crazy man was determined to open the portals
and he was about to cut Dawn. Willow and the others told me Spike
went after the guy, tried to stop him. He was stabbed and throw from
the 200ft drop." Buffy stopped letting that info sink in. She was
wondering how to explain the next part.
"He managed to cut Dawn and it was too late by the time I got
up there..." she continued.
"But then how did Dawn live?" Riley frowned, wishing he'd been
there to help. He'd let her down. Not that Spike didn't let
her down as well.
"I...I...threw myself into the portal and closed the dimensions."
she answered.
Riley's eyes widened. "I thought you said only when
the blood stopped flowing the dimensions closed?"
"It did." she sighed, nervously. "Riley, I died
that night."
Riley nearly passed out. He stared at her, afraid even
though she was sitting here with him. He was speechless.
"Spike risked everything for us, and he did try. I'll
never forget that. I don't blame him for not stopping the guy.
I know he did all he could."
"But...but Buffy..." he was in utter shock.
"The others told me he wept that night, and he's William the
Bloody. Crying... over me....his enemy." Buffy tucked back a strand
of hair. "Guess we're not enemies anymore. He took over my
slaying, he helped Dawn everyday. He looked out for her and my friends.
He...he cared for us all Riley..."
Riley was beyond stunned. "Buffy, how....how?"
"The Powers That Be came to me, shortly after my death, and
I can't remember much, its all blurry and fuzzy. They told me my
death wasn't meant to be and I was still needed on earth. They brought
me back." Buffy watched his face for his reaction. He looked positively
stunned. "From that moment on, Spike and I have slayed together as
a team. He's done so much for me, and my friends and Dawn." she felt
her eyes water. "I'll miss him."
Riley felt sick in his stomach. This couldn't be...
It just couldn't. "Buffy.. tell me something..."
She looked into his eyes.
"Do you love Spike? Are you in love with him?" Riley asked,
dreading the answer.
She blinked at him in surprise. "Why would you ask me that?"
she questioned, trying to avoid the answer. She didn't want to think about
it right now. The fact that she'd even think about it instead of saying
flat out, "no" on the first place was disturbing enough.
"Well, you two seemed to have grown really close lately, and
I know he has some twisted obsession with you. I just wanted to know how
you feel about him. And where I stand."
She glared at him. "You're jealous? You're…you're actually comparing
yourself to Spike? Riley, what is this?"
His eyes hardened slightly. "Buffy, I deserve the truth, you
know that. And with the way you've been acting, and how I've seen you two
since I've gotten back, I'm starting to have my doubts. I want to hear
it from you. What do you feel for Spike?"
She looked away from him. "I don't believe this. Less than 24
hours back into my life and you've given yourself the right to barge in
and ask questions on something you know NOTHING about?"
He looked hurt. "No, Buffy, I'm not forcing you to do anything
except tell me the truth." He stared into her eyes, his beseeching hers.
She turned away with him. He was right, he deserved to know
if she did or didn't. But so did Spike, and so did she. She needed to figure
this out first, before she said anything that might come back to haunt
her in the future. Looking at the tabletop a moment, she took a deep breath.
"I don't know."
"You don't know?!" Riley looked so disappointed. He was hoping
for a definite no, some sign that she'd gotten over that thing with Angel,
that sick, fascination with the undead community. "So you're saying you…you
might?" he asked, face crinkling before he could stop himself.
She wanted to be outraged at him. How dare he judge her? The
reason they had broken up was because of HIS dalliances into the vampire
underworld, not hers. But she couldn't find a way to be more angry at him
than she was at herself. She knew it was wrong to have feeling for something
she was supposed to kill. But she couldn't help it, not the first time,
maybe not even now. She wanted to tell herself it was nothing, that her
memory of Angel was fueling some weird yearning for Spike, though whether
it was love or not remained to be seen. "I might. I don't know," she responded
to Riley, automatically. She paused and looked at her glass of iced tea,
the sunlight, the people milling about around them. "Riley, I can't do
this. I need to go."
Before he could stop her, she'd jumped the short fence surrounding
the patio of the café and was down the street. He cursed and crunched
his napkin in hand. He would kill Spike if he ever saw him near Buffy or
Dawn again.
TBC...
