Love Potion 2: The Gourry version
By Ice Queen
Author's note: This is gonna show a few of my theories on how Gourry's mind works, and yes, he does have a brain… It's just a little… preoccupied^_^;
Before I get into one of those long overly wrought explanations that Lina seems so fond of, I would like to make one thing clear. That chicken leg was mine! And I was just about to grab it off of that weird looking guy's lap when he mumbled something and Lina dragged me out of the tavern. The next thing I knew we were begging for something from what looked like... Chibi Chibi... You know, from Sailor Moon? I used to watch it before I took up being a traveling mercenary. Something about the transformation-er, anyways, where was I?
Oh yeah, well seems back at the tavern Lina lost her magical abilities. I guess I missed that part while I was drooling over the lost chicken leg. But the little girl was cute, she even offered me a cookie to make up for the chicken leg! The cookies were right over this big bucket of green stuff, and the little girl couldn't seem to reach so I decided to give her a hand. But just as I was about to grab the cookie box something marked Caution fell into the green goop. The explosion threw me back about two yards, but that was nothing compared to what Lina usually did to me.
Once I came to I was a little startled to see Lina covered in the green stuff… Did I say startled? I should say scared spitless, there was no way of telling what she would do to me if she found out! I almost didn't even notice the two guys hanging on her like she was a Turkey Leg.
"Li-Lina... Umm..." I started out cautiously. She glared up at me, shoving back her now green and red hair with a growl.
"What is it Gourry? I don't have time for stupid questions right now. I need to figure out-" I pointed, making her look down. Her face turned bright red, even redder as she noticed some of the comments Xelloss was making... I didn't even know half of those suggestions were physically possible... *Cough* But she merely pointed down, saying the dreaded word, "Fireball." I hide my eyes, but nobody started screaming.
Huh... Oh right, no powers means no boom. Now I remember! Just as I looked up she did something that every male dreads-even worse then being Dragon Slaved, she kicked them both in the balls. I never knew Zelgaddiss could hit that note. As I was wincing in sympathy Lina grabbed me by the arm and dragged me along the ground for a few miles. You know, I could almost believe that hitting all those rocks with my head after meeting her has made me loose a few more brain cells. And grandad always said I needed as many as possible, I guess it's best that Lina does most of the thinking.
She dropped me on a particularly sharp rock and jumped into the stream with a husky little yelp. "C-C-Cold." She said, wrapping her arms around herself in attempt to warm up. Then she just... stood up. What does she take me for, anyways? A eunuch? Her clothes were plastered to her skin, not hiding anything and all she did was shove back her hair and sit right beside me. Think innocent thoughts Gabriev... Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day... Puppies... Kitties... Fireballs...
There, that worked better. "......You're a man, what's the deal?" She gazed up at me expectantly, making me shift my weight a little. Alright, what had she just said? I assumed it was something along why Xelloss and Zelgaddiss suddenly having the hots for her. I looked over at her with my most innocent smile and... lied through my teeth.
"Well… I guess they suddenly found you attractive… even though you haven't got a chest, talk like a boy and are prone to-" Oops, took that one a little too far, no... all she's doing is scowling. Deep sigh of relief here everybody. Ahhh...
"But if it's that attraction spell that Chibi-er… Kiera was talking about then why aren't you doing the same thing that they are?" YELP! I spoke too soon. Think Gabriev! Think! How can you tell the most dangerous woman in the world that you-umm... Okay, back up for a second, easiest way out of a truth is another, right? All right.
"Well, I guess it's different for me." I ripped off a little of the fish I had cooked, shoving it into my mouth and handing her hers. One thing that I actually care enough to remember is that if there was one way to distract the love- wait, I mean, to distract Lina it was food. Thank L-Sama I had started cooking a few fish ahead of time. Must have been while I was trying not to stare at Lina in the stream... I think... Sometimes that happens to me, ya know? I do things without even thinking about it.
She's stopped asking questions, the full meal having tired her enough to distract her, I hope. We headed to our beds, I was worried because she was still soaked to the skin, but if I were to say anything she would yell at me. She's so tiny that I sometimes forget that she can take care of herself.
I lay there on my pallet, staring into the dying embers of the fire and start to actually think about the stuff stuck in the back of my head. I guess most people don't think I do that, what with the happy go lucky guy that I am, but every once in a while this stuff refuses to let me be. I think I've been in love, yes, Love, with Lina since the day I met her. I guess everybody but Lina has already figured that out, but why should I care? As long as she stays with me I have a purpose, and in a way I guess that loving Lina is like loving your job, right?
It doesn't matter that she doesn't love me back. I kinda have to tell myself that every once in a while. When she hides her other side for too long, the soft side I get a glimpse of every once in a while, the one that worries about me. I might not be the brightest of guys, but even I know that nobody else gets to see that part of her. I got up silently, walking over to her pallet and putting my own blanket over hers. Her teeth were chattering in her sleep so I tossed another branch on the fire. I sat on her other side, beside the only woman I will ever love, staring into the night sky and hoping some of my heat would reach her and the cold night wind will be stopped. As dawn started to rise I finally headed for my pallet, secure in the feeling she would be warm.
I woke up when something small and pointy jabs into my ribs, I opened my eyes slowly, taking in a long set of legs and a very irate looking red head. Life is grand, truly.
"Wh-what? Whad I do?" I asked, rubbing at the sleep junk that's still in my eyes. I think all together I got about two hours sleep, max. But there's no way in Hel I'm gonna tell her, 'cuz then she'll wanna know why.
"We gotta find a way to get rid of this stuff… and get my powers back, fast." She says. I guess I was a little too focused on her legs to notice the bandits surrounding us… I mean really, someone that short shouldn't have that long of legs! But I digress…
The head bandit was a big guy, which made me grin in anticipation, the larger they are the more they rely on size rather then ability. If these guys were anything like the usual bandits we ran into with surprising regularity, they would make a stupid speech then attack.
Now… Where's the speech?
"I-I-I-… huminahuminahumina…" The big guy drooled, staring at MY Lina like she was LON incarnate. Not that I was too happy when she was, but you get the picture. My happy little grin turned quickly into something akin to blood thirst. I can handle it when it's the other guys, I know they both have feelings for somebody else, but this… Love potion thing is really starting to piss me off!
Lina shoved her hand to her forehead with her usual talent for over-dramatizing situations and motioned me forward with an airy wave. This is one of the reasons I both love and hate that woman… This time it was love. I jumped forward, pulling out the sword of light minus the steel blade. I guess I was feeling a little more vicious then usual, oh, what a shame. Needless to say, the fight didn't last nearly long enough for me.
I shoved my blade back into place with a slight smirk. I don't get the opportunity to smirk very often but this was too good to pass up. I was about to head off when another guy comes from behind. He was short, almost as short as Lina hand had an orange bandana around his head. I automatically began fighting, even after Lina grabbed me by my hair and dragged me off. These guys just wouldn't give up! I doubt Lina even noticed the twenty or so fights I had before the loud guy came along. I guess his yelling something about dating her pierced through her hard head.
Thankfully he was a lot easier to take out then the other guys, probably was all talk. I guess the fact he was offering her roses kinda made me go harder on him then I had to. All those pretty boy gestures seem to get to her but I'm too scared she'd fireball me to try them. And if she knew how I felt about her, well, I don't even wanna know.
She stopped suddenly, the momentum sending me flying on past her. I guess she finally let go of my hair, huh? When I got back to the place she had stopped at I was just in time to see Lina turning blue and Zel and Xelloss wrapped around her waist again. The little chibi chibi made her drink something the started talking again.
"And the attraction spell…" she started out. Lina, being Lina, cut her off.
"Wha-*Cough* What's the cure? Anything I'll do it!" She promised rashly. I guess she'll never learn, huh? I shoved my hand behind my head in a sheepish gesture. If I remember correctly the only cure for a love potion is-umm... Wait. I forgot again.
"Well… you have to be kissed by your true love." Yeah! Now I remember! Wait... true love, oh crap. It's up to her, I guess. She looks at me, then Zel, then Xelloss, than faints. I ran to her, catching her before she falls. Her large ruby eyes were shut, her face pale.
"I'll do it!" Both Zel and Xelloss shout, glaring at each other evilly. Soon a full blown fight had broken out, explosions coming from everywhere, but I could have cared less, merely staring down into a face I knew better then my own.
"Mr Gourry, I think you should be the one to do it." Little Chibi chibi said. I looked up at her, wistfully.
"If she ever found out she would kill me." I stated sadly. "But... I guess I'm the only one unoccupied." I glance over my shoulder, noting the others were still fighting.
Walking over to a large rock I sat her down in front of it. I guess I knew this was gonna happen, you know, in that back part of my head I mentioned earlier? My Grandma always had me help out with her patients, and whenever a Love potion case came in this seemed to happen. Sometimes I forget this stuff.
I knew I was blushing. I leaned over slowly, shutting my eyes tightly, than brushed my lips against the softest flesh I had ever felt. I yanked back quickly, expecting her to wake up any moment.
... Nothing happened... I guess I wasn't her true love, after all. I couldn't take this anymore. I just.. wouldn't be able to watch somebody else turn out to be MY Lina's true love. I turned, almost running, but I couldn't leave her completely. I had a promise to keep.
I stand, far enough away that I can't hear what they're saying. I don't ever wanna know who ended up kissing her... I just wish it had been me.
*******
As Lina walked away, looking slightly down cast, Kiera turned to Xelloss, a worried look on her face.
"Do you think we should tell her?" She asked, glancing from the sorceress to the swordsman and back.
"No… I believe this too will be a secret." The mysterious priest replied.
The end
