The Wild
Chapter V
Phoebe hid back behind the bush, worried that he might have seen her, and then, she didn't dare move. After a moment however, she thought that she heard splashes, and she looked back. She couldn't see him anymore and assumed that he had gone underwater, so she waited with a little thrill.
"I suppose that it's only fair," Jolon said behind her, causing her heart to skip a beat.
She took a few deep breaths to bring back her heart to a more reasonable pace, and then she asked without turning to him.
"Why?"
Her voice was shaky, but Phoebe couldn't help it. Jolon had come even closer, and she could feel him behind her.
"Well," he said slightly amused, "I watched you once, so I guess it's only fair that you did the same to me."
She gasped at this sincere, but oh embarrassing revelation. She was immediately convinced that he referred to that day in the woods, where she thought that some animal was after her. However, it also gave her another little thrill to know this.
"I guess that we're even, then," Phoebe answered in the same shaky voice.
Cole simply moved closer and she almost gasped for breath.
"I suppose so…"
She should have walked away then, considering that things were far from settled. But she didn't want to… Seeing that she wasn't leaving, he came closer even and wrapped his arms around her from behind. She felt cold drops of water falling on her face, but she didn't care. She leaned into him, just pleased to be near him, to feel him around her. Still holding her, he bent toward her neck, smelling her scent with obvious delight. He felt her trembling at his touch when he kissed her neck, then moved up toward her cheek. His kisses were light, almost fearful, as if he was afraid that anything more would scare her away. His hand descended at her waist and slowly lifted the loose fitting blouse until he had cupped her breast, and she felt dizzy with desire. She turned her face halfway toward him and he moved to her lips, at first simply brushing against hers, then when she parted them, his kiss became deeper and more demanding, his caresses harder on her breast. She could feel him against her back and she had no doubts on the meaning of it. It exacerbated her need, as she now responded to his kiss with as much passion, if not experience.
His hands went down slowly toward her belly, then her hips, where he started pulling the skirt, just as slowly, all the while kissing her. But when his hand came to rest on her bare thigh, she jumped a little. He stopped and held her face toward him. Then he whispered hoarsely:
"I want you Phoebe, I want you so much. But if you want me to stop, I will…"
She hesitated, not afraid of giving herself to him, but of the consequences. Still, feeling him against her like this drove her mad with want, and she suddenly turned toward him, lifting her face to him invitingly. He crushed her in his arms, as his kiss was almost painful, but delectable. She put her hands on his back and started caressing him, very much aware of his naked body against her. Suddenly she pulled away again, trying in vain to resist her impulse, and on his face she could read something akin to pain, as he watched her askance.
She put her hands on his face, tracing the frown on his forehead and whispered:
"I want you too, god I want you…"
He didn't wait for more, kissing her again and picking her up. Then he carried her toward the nearby wood, where she realized, there was another tent, slightly bigger than the ones in the village. Much later, she understood that this was some kind of sweat lodge.
There were bear skins lying on the floor, and he lowered her on one of them. He only stopped kissing her then, and finished undressing her almost impatiently. She tried to pull him toward her, but he pushed her arms over her head, caressing them slowly. She felt so exposed and yet not worried in the least about it. His hands slid back down, just as slowly, caressing every part of her body as if he needed to feel that she was real.
"Please," she said in a voice that she barely recognized as her own, while arching her hips toward him.
But even then, he prolonged her delightful agony, moving up again, this time kissing her legs, then her stomach and finally her breast until she begged him again.
Then, he parted her legs suddenly and entered her at once, and as he came back toward her mouth, his kiss muffled the scream that she uttered. At first, he moved slowly, and then when she instinctively arched her hips further toward him, he moved faster and deeper until she thought that they were one. His expert caresses soon brought her to ecstasy, and only then did he take his own pleasure. Then he simply held her against him, his heart still racing and she could feel him trembling, as he looked upon her with more adoration than she thought possible. She imagined that no one could feel as happy and content as she did in his arms.
When he finally moved away from her, she felt lost and tried to pull him back to her.
He smiled teasingly:
"Wait," he said.
He went to get another of the skins and covered them both with it, as he pulled her head on his chest lovingly.
She smiled sweetly, keeping her eyes close and molding herself to him. For a long moment they said nothing, just basking in this newly found peace.
She had not moved at all in the last few minutes and he started to wonder if she was asleep. Putting his hand on her hair, he began stroking it softly, just happy to feel her against him. Then, he had to know:
"Are you asleep," he whispered.
Her response surprised him for its forcefulness:
"God, I hope not!" She answered, as she turned toward him.
He couldn't help being curious about this.
"Why would you think that it's a dream? Trust me… I know what I'm talking about when I say this was real."
He was smiling while saying it, but Phoebe couldn't help question this:
"What makes you so sure?" She asked, as she deposited light kisses on his chest and felt the need for him returning.
"I dreamt of you… Often…" Jolon answered at last, his breathing already quickening.
"You dreamt of me," she asked, still caressing him. She knew that she was pleasing him when his stroking became more forceful, almost pushing her toward him.
His voice became hoarse again as he answered:
"For a long time, I was waiting for you…Then you came… like a miracle…"
She stopped and looked up, now frankly intrigued.
"You mean that you dreamt of me before you met me?"
"I saw you in my visions…"
She took a deep breath then, totally flabbergasted. How could this be? Had he come to her in her dreams because of the visions, or was there another meaning to this.
Her sudden change of attitude surprised him.
He pulled her up so that she would face him, and there, he could see the indecision on her face.
"I have visions, often. I've had them since I was a child. That's why I was chosen to succeed the Shaman." He said, thinking that this might suffice as an explanation.
In a little voice, Phoebe replied:
"I didn't know," and then a little more firmly, she added, "I don't know much about Indians. Only the little I heard, seen, and…"
She couldn't bring herself to talk of her fears. Not then…
"What?" Jolon asked, still puzzled.
There was another matter that she had tried to forget about until this moment, but this Phoebe couldn't leave alone. She decided that they might as well talk about it now.
"It really doesn't matter what I thought, but there is something I'm worried about, yes. What about the Indian girl that you promised to marry…? Noayak I think." She had said this very quickly, afraid that talking about it would be enough to end her happiness. Still, she had to know.
He frowned slightly, unsure of what he should say to this. Then he answered:
"I like Noayak a lot… we've known each other since we were children."
Phoebe stiffened in his arms and almost pulled away, but this time he held on to her.
"But I love you."
She took a moment before realizing what he had said.
Then, she asked, almost afraid that she had misunderstood:
"You do?"
He pulled her face toward his, and kissed her softly before answering.
"With all my heart! I know now that you're the only one for me, if you'll have me."
She wanted so much to just say yes and forget about everything else. However, there had been too many misunderstandings already between them and, in spite of her fears she thought that they should clear the air now, end the uncertainty.
"Why did you ask her to marry you, if you loved me?"
He didn't like to be reminded of his promise, as it was still a problem to which he had found no solution, but he owed her an answer.
"I was angry and hurt. And I thought at the time that you truly didn't feel the same as I did. I believed that there was no hope between us."
Phoebe became agitated again:
"You didn't even give me a chance to explain…"
Jolon knew that he had been wrong, but the damage was done.
"I'm sorry."
That was all he could think to say.
"What will happen now?" She asked.
"I'm not sure exactly, but there is one thing that I know for certain, and it is that I love you, only you."
"Can't you just tell her that?"
"It's more complicated than you think. It's not just that I made a promise. It's also that she is the chief's daughter. He won't be thrilled when he realizes that I left his daughter for…"
He was almost going to say a white woman, but caught himself.
However, Phoebe understood without being told and it felt like a slap in the face. This time she sat back, pulling one of the bearskins to cover herself. At this point, no matter how she felt about him, if she had not been certain that he meant what he said about loving her, she probably would have run away.
He sat up and looked at her with a painful expression, now also worried that it might be too late for them in spite of their feelings.
Finally, she whispered:
"What are we going to do?"
"I don't know yet, but we will find a way. Please don't give up on us." Jolon pleaded.
Again, she wanted to just forget about it and go to him, but this had brought back all her reservations about them. Not that she doubted her feelings for him, but all the problems that they had faced until now stemmed in the misconceptions and things left untold.
She took a deep breath and began:
"I do not want to give up, far from…"
Jolon felt relief, but it was short lived.
"But there is more that I need to know. As I am sure that you might too. You're trying to avoid it, but I know our differences matter. I also worry about it."
"What do you mean," he asked with a hint of irritation coming through then. He realized that he had reacted badly and started again, while trying to keep his voice calm:
"I'm sorry… you have a right to ask…"
Phoebe looked away, afraid of his reaction, and yet she had to know:
"Why did you kill those men when you attacked us? What did they ever do to you? Was that also simply because they were white…Like me…" her voice trailed…
This came as a total shock as he had not expected it. It also irritated him, most of all because he had questioned himself about it as well. He had never wanted to kill anyone. Yet, to prove himself to the other men of the tribe, he had, and now to hear her reproaching it to him…
"White men had killed our own, it demanded our response," he answered, but with too little conviction.
Phoebe couldn't help reacting to this, as she faced him:
"They were not the ones who had hurt your people. They didn't deserve this, and neither did we deserve to be made prisoners…"
He couldn't look at her anymore and turned away lying down with his back to her.
"Jolon, I'm sorry…"
"Why are you with me if you think of me as a monster," he interrupted.
"No! I just…I just needed to know, that's all. I need us to be honest with each other."
"I don't understand what you want from me. I can't change what happened."
"I know…" Phoebe moved toward him while saying so, but stopped short of touching him. "But what I really need to know is this. Is there a part of you that hate me too because I'm white?"
She had said it so fast that Jolon thought for a moment that he had not heard right.
"Hate you?" he questioned, appalled.
"Yes," she whispered.
"How can you think that I hate you?" He said, although still keeping his back to her.
"You hated those men because they were not like you, so why not me?"
"That's not true, Phoebe. I could never hate you." He hesitated, and then continued:
"But does a part of you hate me?" he asked then, fearing the answer.
She came to lie beside him this time, resting her head on his shoulder:
"I can't hate you, I love you."
Her touch felt like a balm for his pain, but he still said:
"You would have a right to, we shouldn't have killed them…"He admitted painfully. Then:
"Are you still so certain that you love me?" He asked hoarsely.
She put her hand on his face, forcing him to look up.
"I have never been more certain of anything in my life."
She kissed his lips lightly before pursuing:
"No matter what you did or what happens next, it won't change the way I feel about you. Nothing could."
"How?"
"I saw you in my dreams too. You came to me, and from the first moment, I knew that you were the one. I didn't think that you were real, yet, you were the one that I had been waiting for all my life."
She stopped, almost expecting him to tell her that she was crazy, but he could only look at her in amazement.
"Imagine what I thought when I saw you. And yet, I was afraid because I thought that we were too different to ever be together. I don't think that anymore," Phoebe added quickly, when she saw his expression darken again.
"You have to believe me."
He responded by turning back toward her completely and pulling her tightly against him, again losing himself in her. As their passion flared, he had the fleeting doubt that maybe she had guessed at his origins and accepted him much more because of this than anything else. However, he rejected this idea quickly, now utterly convinced that the feelings that they shared were strong enough to overcome anything, and that they had been destined to be together…
At first, Piper and Paige didn't think much of Phoebe's absence, as she had been spending a lot of time alone since they had arrived here. However, as night fell and she didn't come back, they began to worry seriously about her. Leo knew where she had been heading earlier, and suggested that he should go look for her.
"I'll go with you." Piper affirmed.
Leo protested:
"No you better stay here where it's safe…"
"Safe? We're prisoners! We're not in a safe place, no matter what things look like."
Her voice was edgy and he didn't insist anymore, knowing that she worried about her cousin.
They took torches, as it was a moonless night, and they went toward the river, as they both knew that it was one of her favorite places to go and spend time alone.
Paige was the only one who had imagined a different scenario for Phoebe's absence, but she had no proof of it and she let them go while she took off toward Jolon's tent.
The gossip mill was very efficient in the village and she had understood soon that there was no need for newspapers around this place, as everyone seemed to know everything about everybody. So, hoping to gather any useful information and to learn more of their language, she had listened in more and more to these gossips. That week, the principal subject had been Jolon and Noayak, or rather the fact that they didn't spend any time together. Many reasons were invoked for this, but mostly that they had a lover's quarrel and would surely be back together in no time. The way they were talking about it, Paige got the impression that their impending wedding couldn't be stopped. As if it was unthinkable that either one of them could go back on their word. Most of the time, the girls were simply saying that she should be more reasonable or her life would soon be miserable.
What was truly surprising to her was that, in spite of all that these women knew about the workings of their community, none of them suspected Phoebe of being responsible for the problem. "Maybe," she reflected, "we are so unimportant to them that they could not even imagine it." However Paige could and had. Now nearing his tent, she could see that unlike the other habitations, no fire had been lighted there. During these cold nights, it was a dead giveaway that he wasn't in there. Coming out of his tent however, was Noayak, which seemed puzzled at not finding him there, or at least that is what Paige assumed, while watching her.
Noayak noticed Paige, who was standing back, waiting for her to go away, obviously. But Noayak didn't leave this time. What's more, she went to the white girl and planted herself resolutely before her. Noayak had decided to try once more to patch things up with Jolon. Nothing could make her believe that he would prefer Phoebe to her. She had wondered about his absence but not really worried until now. When she saw her rival's friend there, she wondered seriously about it.
Coming to her, at first she spoke quickly, and obviously the girl couldn't understand a word, but she knew that this one had learned a little of the People's language, so she slowed down.
"What you doing here," she said as simply as she could.
The look of understanding was obvious on Paige's face, but so was the sudden hint of fear. Noayak came closer, pushing:
"What are you doing here?" She said louder.
Paige finally answered, against her better judgement.
"Looking for my cousin, Phoebe," she answered, biting her lips.
"Why did I have to say it," Paige thought right then. Yet, Noayak didn't seem to react at this and Paige imagined that she was just like the other women of the village, ignoring them altogether.
The Indian Girl still answered curtly:
"No one here, go away…"
Paige didn't wait for more and turned back. On the way, she decided to rejoin with Piper and Leo. No one else would help them if something had truly happened, although she was increasingly convinced that if they found her, she wouldn't be alone.
What she didn't know was that Noayak had reached the same conclusion and followed her…
Piper was the first one to notice the pants on the bank. She wondered about this, since the Indians, even as savage as they might be, were not in the habit of leaving their clothes all over. She looked curiously toward the river surface, and then Leo came to her, about to question her about it. She put her hand up, straining to hear or see something even in the dark, but she couldn't.
They both started walking slowly along the river, moving toward the thick forest with apprehension.
They almost turned back once there, wary to enter it at night, but then Piper's eye caught sights of Phoebe's hair band in a branch. She had almost missed it, but now she was getting more worried by the moment, imagining the worst…
Paige saw the torches and moved quickly toward them. She never noticed Noayak, who was increasingly convinced that she had been right.
Jolon had betrayed her, and as soon as she had the proof, he would pay for it…
In spite of their apprehension, Piper and Leo entered the forest, soon followed by Paige and then Noayak. There they found the tent from where a smoke column was coming out.
Phoebe had finally fallen asleep after many hours where they had not thought about anything but each other. Now that they were spent, Cole realized that the night had grown much cooler, and he started the fire. Then, he had soon fallen asleep as well. So that when Leo entered the tent almost in panic, the sight of them asleep in each other's arms threw him for a loop. He had expected something much more sinister. He also was slightly embarrassed and tried to get out without waking them up, but Piper entering behind him, exclaimed a little too loud. Cole was the first to wake up, but seeing whom it was, he didn't worry too much.
Phoebe woke up soon after and pulled the bearskin to her with a little scream of embarrassment.
Piper was speechless for a moment, but then she got angry with her cousin for worrying them like this:
"Phoebe, what are you doing here?"
Phoebe, back from the surprise, replied:
"Frankly, I'd appreciate if we discussed this some other time."
"We were worried sick!" Piper exclaimed again.
"Well, now you can see that you had no reason."
Leo averted his eyes and grabbed Piper's arm.
"Come on Piper, I think that there's nothing more to say tonight…"
Piper wasn't quite ready to go, but she agreed nevertheless. They then turned around and found themselves facing Paige, but she wasn't alone…
Chapter V
Phoebe hid back behind the bush, worried that he might have seen her, and then, she didn't dare move. After a moment however, she thought that she heard splashes, and she looked back. She couldn't see him anymore and assumed that he had gone underwater, so she waited with a little thrill.
"I suppose that it's only fair," Jolon said behind her, causing her heart to skip a beat.
She took a few deep breaths to bring back her heart to a more reasonable pace, and then she asked without turning to him.
"Why?"
Her voice was shaky, but Phoebe couldn't help it. Jolon had come even closer, and she could feel him behind her.
"Well," he said slightly amused, "I watched you once, so I guess it's only fair that you did the same to me."
She gasped at this sincere, but oh embarrassing revelation. She was immediately convinced that he referred to that day in the woods, where she thought that some animal was after her. However, it also gave her another little thrill to know this.
"I guess that we're even, then," Phoebe answered in the same shaky voice.
Cole simply moved closer and she almost gasped for breath.
"I suppose so…"
She should have walked away then, considering that things were far from settled. But she didn't want to… Seeing that she wasn't leaving, he came closer even and wrapped his arms around her from behind. She felt cold drops of water falling on her face, but she didn't care. She leaned into him, just pleased to be near him, to feel him around her. Still holding her, he bent toward her neck, smelling her scent with obvious delight. He felt her trembling at his touch when he kissed her neck, then moved up toward her cheek. His kisses were light, almost fearful, as if he was afraid that anything more would scare her away. His hand descended at her waist and slowly lifted the loose fitting blouse until he had cupped her breast, and she felt dizzy with desire. She turned her face halfway toward him and he moved to her lips, at first simply brushing against hers, then when she parted them, his kiss became deeper and more demanding, his caresses harder on her breast. She could feel him against her back and she had no doubts on the meaning of it. It exacerbated her need, as she now responded to his kiss with as much passion, if not experience.
His hands went down slowly toward her belly, then her hips, where he started pulling the skirt, just as slowly, all the while kissing her. But when his hand came to rest on her bare thigh, she jumped a little. He stopped and held her face toward him. Then he whispered hoarsely:
"I want you Phoebe, I want you so much. But if you want me to stop, I will…"
She hesitated, not afraid of giving herself to him, but of the consequences. Still, feeling him against her like this drove her mad with want, and she suddenly turned toward him, lifting her face to him invitingly. He crushed her in his arms, as his kiss was almost painful, but delectable. She put her hands on his back and started caressing him, very much aware of his naked body against her. Suddenly she pulled away again, trying in vain to resist her impulse, and on his face she could read something akin to pain, as he watched her askance.
She put her hands on his face, tracing the frown on his forehead and whispered:
"I want you too, god I want you…"
He didn't wait for more, kissing her again and picking her up. Then he carried her toward the nearby wood, where she realized, there was another tent, slightly bigger than the ones in the village. Much later, she understood that this was some kind of sweat lodge.
There were bear skins lying on the floor, and he lowered her on one of them. He only stopped kissing her then, and finished undressing her almost impatiently. She tried to pull him toward her, but he pushed her arms over her head, caressing them slowly. She felt so exposed and yet not worried in the least about it. His hands slid back down, just as slowly, caressing every part of her body as if he needed to feel that she was real.
"Please," she said in a voice that she barely recognized as her own, while arching her hips toward him.
But even then, he prolonged her delightful agony, moving up again, this time kissing her legs, then her stomach and finally her breast until she begged him again.
Then, he parted her legs suddenly and entered her at once, and as he came back toward her mouth, his kiss muffled the scream that she uttered. At first, he moved slowly, and then when she instinctively arched her hips further toward him, he moved faster and deeper until she thought that they were one. His expert caresses soon brought her to ecstasy, and only then did he take his own pleasure. Then he simply held her against him, his heart still racing and she could feel him trembling, as he looked upon her with more adoration than she thought possible. She imagined that no one could feel as happy and content as she did in his arms.
When he finally moved away from her, she felt lost and tried to pull him back to her.
He smiled teasingly:
"Wait," he said.
He went to get another of the skins and covered them both with it, as he pulled her head on his chest lovingly.
She smiled sweetly, keeping her eyes close and molding herself to him. For a long moment they said nothing, just basking in this newly found peace.
She had not moved at all in the last few minutes and he started to wonder if she was asleep. Putting his hand on her hair, he began stroking it softly, just happy to feel her against him. Then, he had to know:
"Are you asleep," he whispered.
Her response surprised him for its forcefulness:
"God, I hope not!" She answered, as she turned toward him.
He couldn't help being curious about this.
"Why would you think that it's a dream? Trust me… I know what I'm talking about when I say this was real."
He was smiling while saying it, but Phoebe couldn't help question this:
"What makes you so sure?" She asked, as she deposited light kisses on his chest and felt the need for him returning.
"I dreamt of you… Often…" Jolon answered at last, his breathing already quickening.
"You dreamt of me," she asked, still caressing him. She knew that she was pleasing him when his stroking became more forceful, almost pushing her toward him.
His voice became hoarse again as he answered:
"For a long time, I was waiting for you…Then you came… like a miracle…"
She stopped and looked up, now frankly intrigued.
"You mean that you dreamt of me before you met me?"
"I saw you in my visions…"
She took a deep breath then, totally flabbergasted. How could this be? Had he come to her in her dreams because of the visions, or was there another meaning to this.
Her sudden change of attitude surprised him.
He pulled her up so that she would face him, and there, he could see the indecision on her face.
"I have visions, often. I've had them since I was a child. That's why I was chosen to succeed the Shaman." He said, thinking that this might suffice as an explanation.
In a little voice, Phoebe replied:
"I didn't know," and then a little more firmly, she added, "I don't know much about Indians. Only the little I heard, seen, and…"
She couldn't bring herself to talk of her fears. Not then…
"What?" Jolon asked, still puzzled.
There was another matter that she had tried to forget about until this moment, but this Phoebe couldn't leave alone. She decided that they might as well talk about it now.
"It really doesn't matter what I thought, but there is something I'm worried about, yes. What about the Indian girl that you promised to marry…? Noayak I think." She had said this very quickly, afraid that talking about it would be enough to end her happiness. Still, she had to know.
He frowned slightly, unsure of what he should say to this. Then he answered:
"I like Noayak a lot… we've known each other since we were children."
Phoebe stiffened in his arms and almost pulled away, but this time he held on to her.
"But I love you."
She took a moment before realizing what he had said.
Then, she asked, almost afraid that she had misunderstood:
"You do?"
He pulled her face toward his, and kissed her softly before answering.
"With all my heart! I know now that you're the only one for me, if you'll have me."
She wanted so much to just say yes and forget about everything else. However, there had been too many misunderstandings already between them and, in spite of her fears she thought that they should clear the air now, end the uncertainty.
"Why did you ask her to marry you, if you loved me?"
He didn't like to be reminded of his promise, as it was still a problem to which he had found no solution, but he owed her an answer.
"I was angry and hurt. And I thought at the time that you truly didn't feel the same as I did. I believed that there was no hope between us."
Phoebe became agitated again:
"You didn't even give me a chance to explain…"
Jolon knew that he had been wrong, but the damage was done.
"I'm sorry."
That was all he could think to say.
"What will happen now?" She asked.
"I'm not sure exactly, but there is one thing that I know for certain, and it is that I love you, only you."
"Can't you just tell her that?"
"It's more complicated than you think. It's not just that I made a promise. It's also that she is the chief's daughter. He won't be thrilled when he realizes that I left his daughter for…"
He was almost going to say a white woman, but caught himself.
However, Phoebe understood without being told and it felt like a slap in the face. This time she sat back, pulling one of the bearskins to cover herself. At this point, no matter how she felt about him, if she had not been certain that he meant what he said about loving her, she probably would have run away.
He sat up and looked at her with a painful expression, now also worried that it might be too late for them in spite of their feelings.
Finally, she whispered:
"What are we going to do?"
"I don't know yet, but we will find a way. Please don't give up on us." Jolon pleaded.
Again, she wanted to just forget about it and go to him, but this had brought back all her reservations about them. Not that she doubted her feelings for him, but all the problems that they had faced until now stemmed in the misconceptions and things left untold.
She took a deep breath and began:
"I do not want to give up, far from…"
Jolon felt relief, but it was short lived.
"But there is more that I need to know. As I am sure that you might too. You're trying to avoid it, but I know our differences matter. I also worry about it."
"What do you mean," he asked with a hint of irritation coming through then. He realized that he had reacted badly and started again, while trying to keep his voice calm:
"I'm sorry… you have a right to ask…"
Phoebe looked away, afraid of his reaction, and yet she had to know:
"Why did you kill those men when you attacked us? What did they ever do to you? Was that also simply because they were white…Like me…" her voice trailed…
This came as a total shock as he had not expected it. It also irritated him, most of all because he had questioned himself about it as well. He had never wanted to kill anyone. Yet, to prove himself to the other men of the tribe, he had, and now to hear her reproaching it to him…
"White men had killed our own, it demanded our response," he answered, but with too little conviction.
Phoebe couldn't help reacting to this, as she faced him:
"They were not the ones who had hurt your people. They didn't deserve this, and neither did we deserve to be made prisoners…"
He couldn't look at her anymore and turned away lying down with his back to her.
"Jolon, I'm sorry…"
"Why are you with me if you think of me as a monster," he interrupted.
"No! I just…I just needed to know, that's all. I need us to be honest with each other."
"I don't understand what you want from me. I can't change what happened."
"I know…" Phoebe moved toward him while saying so, but stopped short of touching him. "But what I really need to know is this. Is there a part of you that hate me too because I'm white?"
She had said it so fast that Jolon thought for a moment that he had not heard right.
"Hate you?" he questioned, appalled.
"Yes," she whispered.
"How can you think that I hate you?" He said, although still keeping his back to her.
"You hated those men because they were not like you, so why not me?"
"That's not true, Phoebe. I could never hate you." He hesitated, and then continued:
"But does a part of you hate me?" he asked then, fearing the answer.
She came to lie beside him this time, resting her head on his shoulder:
"I can't hate you, I love you."
Her touch felt like a balm for his pain, but he still said:
"You would have a right to, we shouldn't have killed them…"He admitted painfully. Then:
"Are you still so certain that you love me?" He asked hoarsely.
She put her hand on his face, forcing him to look up.
"I have never been more certain of anything in my life."
She kissed his lips lightly before pursuing:
"No matter what you did or what happens next, it won't change the way I feel about you. Nothing could."
"How?"
"I saw you in my dreams too. You came to me, and from the first moment, I knew that you were the one. I didn't think that you were real, yet, you were the one that I had been waiting for all my life."
She stopped, almost expecting him to tell her that she was crazy, but he could only look at her in amazement.
"Imagine what I thought when I saw you. And yet, I was afraid because I thought that we were too different to ever be together. I don't think that anymore," Phoebe added quickly, when she saw his expression darken again.
"You have to believe me."
He responded by turning back toward her completely and pulling her tightly against him, again losing himself in her. As their passion flared, he had the fleeting doubt that maybe she had guessed at his origins and accepted him much more because of this than anything else. However, he rejected this idea quickly, now utterly convinced that the feelings that they shared were strong enough to overcome anything, and that they had been destined to be together…
At first, Piper and Paige didn't think much of Phoebe's absence, as she had been spending a lot of time alone since they had arrived here. However, as night fell and she didn't come back, they began to worry seriously about her. Leo knew where she had been heading earlier, and suggested that he should go look for her.
"I'll go with you." Piper affirmed.
Leo protested:
"No you better stay here where it's safe…"
"Safe? We're prisoners! We're not in a safe place, no matter what things look like."
Her voice was edgy and he didn't insist anymore, knowing that she worried about her cousin.
They took torches, as it was a moonless night, and they went toward the river, as they both knew that it was one of her favorite places to go and spend time alone.
Paige was the only one who had imagined a different scenario for Phoebe's absence, but she had no proof of it and she let them go while she took off toward Jolon's tent.
The gossip mill was very efficient in the village and she had understood soon that there was no need for newspapers around this place, as everyone seemed to know everything about everybody. So, hoping to gather any useful information and to learn more of their language, she had listened in more and more to these gossips. That week, the principal subject had been Jolon and Noayak, or rather the fact that they didn't spend any time together. Many reasons were invoked for this, but mostly that they had a lover's quarrel and would surely be back together in no time. The way they were talking about it, Paige got the impression that their impending wedding couldn't be stopped. As if it was unthinkable that either one of them could go back on their word. Most of the time, the girls were simply saying that she should be more reasonable or her life would soon be miserable.
What was truly surprising to her was that, in spite of all that these women knew about the workings of their community, none of them suspected Phoebe of being responsible for the problem. "Maybe," she reflected, "we are so unimportant to them that they could not even imagine it." However Paige could and had. Now nearing his tent, she could see that unlike the other habitations, no fire had been lighted there. During these cold nights, it was a dead giveaway that he wasn't in there. Coming out of his tent however, was Noayak, which seemed puzzled at not finding him there, or at least that is what Paige assumed, while watching her.
Noayak noticed Paige, who was standing back, waiting for her to go away, obviously. But Noayak didn't leave this time. What's more, she went to the white girl and planted herself resolutely before her. Noayak had decided to try once more to patch things up with Jolon. Nothing could make her believe that he would prefer Phoebe to her. She had wondered about his absence but not really worried until now. When she saw her rival's friend there, she wondered seriously about it.
Coming to her, at first she spoke quickly, and obviously the girl couldn't understand a word, but she knew that this one had learned a little of the People's language, so she slowed down.
"What you doing here," she said as simply as she could.
The look of understanding was obvious on Paige's face, but so was the sudden hint of fear. Noayak came closer, pushing:
"What are you doing here?" She said louder.
Paige finally answered, against her better judgement.
"Looking for my cousin, Phoebe," she answered, biting her lips.
"Why did I have to say it," Paige thought right then. Yet, Noayak didn't seem to react at this and Paige imagined that she was just like the other women of the village, ignoring them altogether.
The Indian Girl still answered curtly:
"No one here, go away…"
Paige didn't wait for more and turned back. On the way, she decided to rejoin with Piper and Leo. No one else would help them if something had truly happened, although she was increasingly convinced that if they found her, she wouldn't be alone.
What she didn't know was that Noayak had reached the same conclusion and followed her…
Piper was the first one to notice the pants on the bank. She wondered about this, since the Indians, even as savage as they might be, were not in the habit of leaving their clothes all over. She looked curiously toward the river surface, and then Leo came to her, about to question her about it. She put her hand up, straining to hear or see something even in the dark, but she couldn't.
They both started walking slowly along the river, moving toward the thick forest with apprehension.
They almost turned back once there, wary to enter it at night, but then Piper's eye caught sights of Phoebe's hair band in a branch. She had almost missed it, but now she was getting more worried by the moment, imagining the worst…
Paige saw the torches and moved quickly toward them. She never noticed Noayak, who was increasingly convinced that she had been right.
Jolon had betrayed her, and as soon as she had the proof, he would pay for it…
In spite of their apprehension, Piper and Leo entered the forest, soon followed by Paige and then Noayak. There they found the tent from where a smoke column was coming out.
Phoebe had finally fallen asleep after many hours where they had not thought about anything but each other. Now that they were spent, Cole realized that the night had grown much cooler, and he started the fire. Then, he had soon fallen asleep as well. So that when Leo entered the tent almost in panic, the sight of them asleep in each other's arms threw him for a loop. He had expected something much more sinister. He also was slightly embarrassed and tried to get out without waking them up, but Piper entering behind him, exclaimed a little too loud. Cole was the first to wake up, but seeing whom it was, he didn't worry too much.
Phoebe woke up soon after and pulled the bearskin to her with a little scream of embarrassment.
Piper was speechless for a moment, but then she got angry with her cousin for worrying them like this:
"Phoebe, what are you doing here?"
Phoebe, back from the surprise, replied:
"Frankly, I'd appreciate if we discussed this some other time."
"We were worried sick!" Piper exclaimed again.
"Well, now you can see that you had no reason."
Leo averted his eyes and grabbed Piper's arm.
"Come on Piper, I think that there's nothing more to say tonight…"
Piper wasn't quite ready to go, but she agreed nevertheless. They then turned around and found themselves facing Paige, but she wasn't alone…
