Sonny stood by the fireplace in his penthouse and let his
gaze linger on the one picture of Michael that he allowed himself to keep.
Carly had been gone for months and after she left, he had obliterated anything
that was hers from his home. It wasn't so much that he couldn't forgive her,
because he could have. But forgiving her meant betraying his men and himself.
That was something he could not do.
Loving Carly was easy, maybe the easiest thing that he'd ever done. He couldn't
keep her and Michael safe and when she got scared, she panicked. She turned him
over to the Feds and then expected to not have to deal with the consequences of
her actions. Even though he loved her, he couldn't forget what she did, and
neither would the people who worked for him. He was faced with loving Carly and
giving up the only life he'd ever known or turning Carly away and staying with
the life that he choose for himself.
He let himself keep the picture of Michael because it reminded him that he
still had a family. Michael would always be his son and he would always care
for that little boy. Sonny brushed his fingers over the wood frame one more
time and turned away from the picture. He knew that if he looked at it for one
more second, he was going to fling it across the room.
Sonny went to his liquor cart to push thoughts of his stepson and ex-wife from
his head, it was the only sure way he knew to get rid of the memories. He
poured a splash of scotch into a glass and lifted the amber liquid to look at
it. He knew that if he downed it, he'd lose feeling in about five minutes. The
alcohol would make him feel better, just like it always did. It made him forget
that his life was a big, empty, black hole. Instead of drowning himself in the
scotch, he flung it in the direction of the door. He couldn't do this.
Minutes later there was a knock on the door. Johnny opened it far enough to
slide his body in, blocking view of anyone in the hall.
"Boss, Miss Webber is here," he spoke quietly.
"Show her in," Sonny's tone was cold, detached. Why hadn't Johnny just
announced her like she was a normal guest?
"Mr. Corinthos, sir, she's in her wedding gown." Johnny shifted uncomfortably
from one foot to the next.
"Her what?" Sonny's voice rose. "She ran out on her own wedding?"
"Looks that way, sir."
Sonny refilled his glass with water and took a seat on the couch. "Show her in,
Johnny."
"Yes, sir."
Johnny opened the door and allowed
Sonny stood from his position on the couch and walked towards
"I couldn't do it, Sonny." Her voice was hoarse from the tears that she'd cried
on the docks. "I couldn't marry him." Her voice cracked.
Sonny crossed the room to where
He looked back at the young girl sitting in his living room, looking so broken.
"
"Better?" he asked. He reached for the glass and pried it out of her fingers.
Setting it down on the ottoman and turned to look back at her. "Have you eaten
anything today
She shook her head and Sonny stood and moved towards the door. "Sonny?" she
called. Is that my voice?
He went back to her side and crouched in front of her. "I'm just going to send
Johnny to Kelly's to get you something to eat, okay?" His hand reached up to
cup her cheek and he smiled. "If you don't eat something then that scotch isn't
going to do you any good."
Her smile was weak, but genuine. "Thank you Sonny. But, I don't want anyone to
know that I'm here. Please, will you make sure he doesn't say anything?"
Sonny nodded and stood. He crossed the room back to the door and stepped
outside.
"I want you to go to Kelly's and pick something up for her to eat. A
cheeseburger or something. Make sure that you don't mention it's for her. No
one is to know that she's here, okay?"
"Yes sir, Boss." Johnny couldn't help but wonder what was going on. It wasn't
everyday that someone would show up in their wedding dress at Sonny's
penthouse.
Sonny gave Johnny a simple nod back and retreated back into the penthouse.
Shutting the door behind him, he went back to where
Sonny sat down beside her and flashed his dimples. He leaned back against the
couch and threw his arm over the top of it. "Is that so?" If this was going to
help her, then so be it.
"Right after I moved to Port Charles, all they could talk about was Sonny
Corinthos was set to marry Brenda Barrett. I knew who Brenda was because she
was in fashion magazines everywhere. But, as I watched Jason walk down the
aisle and tear her world apart, I had to wonder what kind of man could do that
to a woman. So I have to ask, were you not in love with her?"
Sonny drew in a quick breath and tried to answer her question. "I was very much
in love with her. I was so in love with her that I refused to let her live the
life that I choose for
myself. I'll always love her and I'll always miss her." The light in his eyes
dimmed a little as he remembered his lost love. "Brenda was the first woman
that completed me. And I'll always have to wonder 'what if' when it comes to
her. If I had married her, could I have saved her?"
"Sonny," she started. When he held up his hand to stop her, she continued
despite his protests. "It's not your fault. I don't really know the
circumstances that surrounded Brenda's death, but just know that you did the
right thing. I saw her after you left, she was happy. She moved on. You have to
let that guilt go."
He turned his head to look at her, but only got the side of her profile.
you, though. The guilt that's eating at you right now about not marrying Lucky?
You have to let it go too."
"Elizabeth, if you're having second thoughts about your second thoughts we'll
go down to that church right now. I'll walk you down the aisle and give you
away. I'll watch you
get married." Sonny stood and extended his hand to her. He looked down at her
upturned face and spoke. "If you want to go, let's go. I just need to get my
jacket. I can't give you away if I don't have my jacket."
A smile played on her lips and she looked up at him. Her smile turned bitter
when she realized that he was standing exactly as Jason had stood that day.
"How can you be nice to me?" she asked. "After what I did to him, how can you
stand to look at me?"
Sonny sunk back to the soft cushions of the couch and ran a hand over his face.
"When Carly fell down those stairs and lost the baby, you sat in the hospital
with me and held me. I don't know what happened between you and Jason, but I
know that what you did to him doesn't dictate how I feel about you. If you want
to marry Lucky, I'll take you. We'll get you married, but you have to be sure."
"I don't want to marry Lucky," she whispered. Her head fell back into her hands
and the tears started to fall down her cheeks again. "I don't want to marry
him. I never wanted to
marry him."
Sonny wrapped an arm around her and pulled the young woman to his chest. "Then
why'd you say yes?"
"I don't remember," she admitted. "We were at the place where we either had to
break up or get married. And I don't know who I am without being Lucky's
girlfriend." She pulled away from him and the tears fell silently down her
cheeks. "I don't remember any of the reasons that we are together anymore. I
don't remember why I fell in love with him."
Sonny took her face in his hands and started to wipe her tears away. "I do," he
said. "Lucky before the fire was a wonderful person who loved you. It was one
of those once
in a lifetime deals. If he hadn't died then I think things would have turned
out so much differently for you." He moved his hands so that it was cupping her
chin and she was looking at him. "But he did die,
"I don't know what I want," she said softly. She remembered her words from
earlier that night and turned her face away from Sonny. I want you, Jason. "No, that's not right. I do know what I want, I
just can't have it."
"It or him?" he questioned.
She jerked her head back to look at him, her eyes were wide. "You know?" she
asked, not really believing her ears.
"I know that Jason cares about you very much and I know that you care about him
too. If you didn't you would have never helped him. Especially when it cost you
people in your
life."
"I talk to Jason a lot, Elizabeth," Sonny said.
"Michael." She turned to look at him with the frame in her hands. "Do you miss
Michael?"
He crossed to where she was and took the picture out of her hands. "Everyday,"
he admitted. He gently placed it back on its spot of the mantle. "I think
that's the worst part. I got so used to him being here, making noise. I got
used to little army men in the back of my limo, building blocks in my
briefcase. But, as time passes by, the pain lessens. He's taken care of and
he's happy. They're both happy, and that's all I want for them."
"You still love her Sonny." It wasn't a question, just a statement of fact.
"I'll always love her," he confessed. Sonny wasn't really aware that
forgive her, I can't forget. I can't forget that she was willing to trade
Jason's freedom for my own. Jason and the men that kept her safe every single day.
She didn't just betray
me, she betrayed everyone who has
ever worked for me: Jason, Johnny, Francis, Will. She didn't think about that
when she turned me in. She didn't think that us being 'free,' as she put it,
would mean Jason spending the rest of his life behind bars."
The sound of knuckles rapping against the wood brought Sonny out of his trance.
He guided
When he opened the door, Johnny was standing there with a brown paper bag that
had her food in it.
"Thanks, Johnny," was the only acknowledgement that he got before the door shut
in his face.
Sonny took the cheeseburger and fries out of the bag and sat them on the
ottoman in front of the couch. "Eat," he urged. He went back to the drink cart
to pour her some water
into a glass and took it back to her. He stood and watched her for a minute,
satisfied that she was eating something, even if she was only picking over the
food.
When he sat down, he laid his head back on the couch and listened to the quiet
of the penthouse. He usually treasured the quiet, but he missed having Michael
and Carly around. "I'm not in love with her anymore," he whispered.
"I'm not in love with Carly anymore," he repeated. He lifted his head to look
at the woman he'd come to think of as a sister. "Do you know how long it's
taken me to realize that?"
"I'm not in love with Lucky," she said quietly. "I haven't been for a very long
time." She stopped speaking and turned to look at Sonny. Before finishing her
thoughts, she scooted
back into the corner of the couch and pulled her knees to her chest. The dress
rustled as her body moved underneath it. "That's the bad part, Sonny. I knew
that I wasn't in love
with Lucky, but I still agreed to marry him."
"You did what was right,
Sonny ran a hand over her cheek and stood. "Yes, you do. Let me go ask Alexis
if she has something you can borrow." He made his way towards the door, but
stopped when she spoke.
"Thanks Sonny," she said. She thought for a minute before making her next
request. "I think that I'm going to leave town for a little bit. Do you think
that you could get some
paper and a pencil from Alexis so I can write Lucky a letter?"
"Sure," he agreed. The door closed after him and he crossed the hall to Alexis'
penthouse. He knocked twice and waited for her to open the door.
When she did open the door, with a bowl of popcorn in hand, she blushed. Her
free hand immediately went to the back of her head to smooth down her ponytail.
"Sonny, I wasn't expecting you."
"I need a favor," he said. He couldn't help but notice the blush that colored
her cheeks when he looked at her. Stop it
Corinthos, she's your attorney, he ordered. "Uh... you can't tell anyone.
You know, client/attorney confidentiality thing?"
Alexis opened the door a little wider as to invite him. "I won't, you know
that. What's up? Who's in trouble?"
"
Alexis raised an eyebrow at him, but immediately went to the bedroom that was
off the living room. She returned with jogging pants and a t-shirt. "These
should work. But do you want to tell me why
"She doesn't love him," he answered her simply. "She's in love with Jason."
"Did she say that Sonny?"
"She doesn't have to, Alexis." He took the clothes from her hands and was
shocked at the awareness that shot through him when their fingers brushed.
"Saying it out loud only means that other people can hear it. She doesn't have
to say she loves Jason to know that
it's true."
It was like his words had a double meaning, but she couldn't figure out how
they would apply to her. When he touched her, she felt something that was so
much more than friendship. Her gaze dropped to his mouth for a minute and she
found herself wondering what it would be like to taste him. He's your client Alexis! "Is there
anything else you need?"
He watched her retreat into herself as she stepped away from him. What did I say? "Uh, yeah.
She left the door open-with Johnny in full view as she made her way to the
desk. She opened the top drawer and pulled out a white legal pad and a blue ink
pen before she shut it again. She held the paper and pen out for Sonny to take.
Once he took the supplies from her, he made his way towards the door. When he
stepped outside, he turned to say thanks, but the door was already closed
behind him.
As he crossed the hall, he noticed Johnny's amused face and was embarrassed
because his attorney was having this effect on him. "Go home Johnny," he
ordered.
"But sir–" Johnny tried to protest.
"Go home," Sonny said more adamantly. "Don't repeat anything that has happened
here tonight. No one is going to come in on me and
morning."
Johnny wanted to stay outside and argue with his boss some more. He wanted to
make him see that it wasn't a smart move, but he didn't. Things had been quiet
for awhile, so he hoped that Sonny could handle trouble if it were to come
knocking. "Yes sir." As he made his way to the elevator he heard the penthouse
door shut and lock behind him.
Once inside, Sonny went to where
"I got what you wanted," he said. "You can stay in the guest room tonight and
then tomorrow we'll talk about what you're going to need."
She silently nodded her head and opened her eyes. Taking the clothes from
Sonny's extended hand, she watched him set the legal pad and pen down in front
of her. "Can I shower first? It'll clear my head and I probably need to have
one when I write a letter to my childhood sweetheart explaining to him that I
don't want to marry him or even see him anymore."
"Sure," he nodded. "Anything you need sweetheart."
After
"Jason stayed here?" she asked, turning her head to look at him. "I didn't know
that."
"After I didn't marry Brenda, he moved into the penthouse for awhile. He told
me that he could never move into the master bedroom, so he made this bedroom
his own." He pushed the door open and reached for the switch, flipped it on.
"You couldn't tell though. Carly redecorated it after she moved in."
He nodded and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Sleep well, sweetheart."
