Petals Fall Part 3: Li Meilin

Petals Fall
Part 3: Li Meilin

Notes: The rating changed to PG because of one swear word. Aunt Kyaa, Meilin's friend Shihua, and her mother were all people I invented for the purpose of this fic.

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Why? Why did Syaoran suddenly go for that girl Sakura? Why did she have to love him back? (OK, I understand that, he is cute and all....) I just don't understand...how my heart suddenly was broken. I loved Syaoran and he loved another. And she wasn't even in the clan! What kind of injustices could be wrought? I had to run away from it all, even my own family...I felt so ashamed....

OK. Maybe I should explain. Last spring, when the petal blossoms were blooming in Japan (and when Syaoran and I were still living in there), Syaoran went with Sakura and told her that he was in love with her. I had no idea he did...OK, maybe I was jealous every time he looked deep into her eyes and all...and she loved him back. I'll never forget the day afterwards.

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"Ummm...Meilin...I have to tell you something," he said. My eyes were hopeful (I didn't know he had told Sakura the day before). Would it be what I had always been dreaming of...my fantasy, of him loving me?

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry, Meilin...but I love someone else...." His eyes were away from mine, turned towards the side. He was ashamed? But this was not the Syaoran I knew and loved, able to admit his mistakes.... "I'm sorry if I broke your heart, but my own belongs with another...."

It hit me, a painful realization that broke me. I should have expected it. "Kinomoto Sakura...." I breathed. I knew it. She had been after him as much as I had. And she got it first because he was there. "How could you have fallen in love with someone out of the clan? She isn't even Chinese! Do you think the clan would agree to this? We were supposed to be the heirs together, you know that! As soon as we were legal in China, we were supposed to be arranged!" The tears were about the fall. I willed them otherwise, but they wouldn't stop...they fell, the pain in my eyes visible through the shining tears.

"I know, Meilin, but my heart goes against society! It's the way I feel! Don't you want me to be happy?! I'm happy with Sakura-chan!" He was nearly hysterical, shouting at me. But he was right...I wanted him to be happy, above anything. Yet, pride and tradition stopped me. I could never forgive a traitor to the clan...even if it was Xiaolang, my bethrothed.

"Li Xiaolang...." I whispered his real name in our accent, the way it should be. "I can't forgive you. I'm sorry, I could never forgive a traitor to the clan."

"Well then. Be that way...the clan forgives a striving heart. Like our aunt Kyaa." I remembered that. Our aunt Kyaa had fallen in love with an American man...the clan forgave her and let him into the clan. They had even married the two in our traditional ways. However, I was amongst the people who were against that action.

"I never supported that action," I replied tartly in Chinese.

"Well, then you're a traitor to the clan, Li Meiling," he replied in the same tongue. I gulped. He was right again...damn.

"Xiaolang, why must you always be right?" I asked. Our whole conversation had now been put in our native speech.

"Isn't that what you fell in love with me for?" I remembered the time when I had told Naoko to ask Xiaolang about dragons because "he knew everything".

"Yes but...now you don't love me. Stop torturing me."

"I love you, Meiling, but not in the same way I love Sakura. You are family. Of course I love you. More than the blood relatives of the family, since we are so close and bethrothed...but still, not the same way as Sakura." He sighed. "You remember when she captured the Twin Card? We can practically read each other's thoughts. We worked very hard to do those motions together...we must have been thinking of the same kata. And our timing has always been the same for that particular one ever since...well, you remember." He was right. Back in China, I had once struggled with that particular one during a practice. Xiaolang had retaught it to me, and soon enough we could perform it together in perfect timing--not to mention the same one. "Why did you perform that particular one?"

"Because it reminds me of you. I knew you would do the same. I guess I understand, but I still cannot forgive."

"You just don't give in, do you, Meiling?" He sighed. "Be that way then. I'll write to the clan patriarch. We'll see if they can forgive me."

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He did. A few weeks afterwards, I checked the mail and found their reply...they forgave, all right, just like Syaoran thought they would. I was enraged. How did Sakura win? How did it happen? They had annulled our betrothement too...and that blew it. I couldn't stay with the clan after this. I sent a quick letter that I wished to disown myself from the clan and ran off to the nearest poorhouse with my little bit of savings and the jewelry I had inherited. I sold the jewelry and pooled it with my savings...just enough. I could boat to Hong Kong and stay at my old friend's house. And I did.

My friend Shihua's mother was extraordinarily kind to me. She knew of a person who would keep me safe and away from the clan near the Lunan Stone Forests, a beautiful monument they would never dream of looking into. [2] I could work as a tour guide there to pay my stay. They sent me off.

Life as a tour guide is hard, but I love seeing the flowers. They grow in the harshness of these stone towers, and they are so beautiful...pink and orange and sky blue. Their petals are falling now. I bet the sakura petals are falling in Japan as well. As the petals fall, my memories of Xiaolang grow...yet, at the same time, I am finally free.

Xiaolang may be looking for me right now, maybe not. I don't know. Life goes on...as the petals fall.

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[1]: Kata in Japan (I know them as "porma" from the Filipino martial art of escrima) are set motions, known as forms. You memorize kata in training of martial arts, and usually you have to be able to perform a certain amount of katas in order to advance belt. In certain situations (the Twin Card could be one) a kata can be used in a real life situation. If someone would give me the Chinese word, I'd be grateful. ~Kawa

[2]: The Lunan Stone Forests are really beautiful. it is a range of natural stone towers that are incredulously beautiful and have many hideaways and caverns. Since it is easy to get lost in there, and Meilin loves the comforts of civilization and tradition, I don't think the clan would have looked there for her. ~Kawa

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TBC

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R&R!!! Please! ^o^ Coming soon--part 4: Daijoubi Tomoyo