STARDATE: 0826.01
SUBJECT: Paris
RECIPIENT: Ensign U.

Dear Ensign,
Life is good! I was on the holodeck this morning, because I was bored out of my mind, you know how it is, and Tom Paris came in. I was running the Da Vinci program and he wanted to test the new and improved warp core, which he had designed by himself, because B'Elanna's still off duty. I told him he probably should have knocked because his ex-captain (wonder who that is?) had a whole lot of influence over his current one and manners count! He started complaining about how awful sickbay was and how honestly stupid it was of you to have reassigned him to sickbay when you were trying to maneuver Voyager above, below, and between three Borg cubes and a sphere, which, in my opinion, was pretty stupid. Ensign, Ensign, Ensign...you don't reassign our best pilot to sickbay during a battle with the Borg! That's just not smart! If we didn't have our best pilot at helm, then we'd probably get ourselves blown up and then there wouldn't be a sickbay to reassign him to! And also, that would make him angry! And if he were angry, he probably wouldn't be paying too much attention to what he was doing. And anyway, I can tell you from experience, you do not assign someone who is angry to sickbay! Understand?!? He could have stuck the wrong thing in hypospray! Someone could get hurt! Oh, I can see it now: "Okay, was Samantha planning on waking up anytime soon? Oh...wait...oops! Oh, well...Naomi won't be too thrilled." Or something to that effect! I mean, come on! Be smart! Let's just think for a minute here, okay? Okay! Couldn't you have picked, like, someone who was just sitting around in Engineering, not fixing anything...or something? Anyway, I tried to relieve him of duty again, but he coldly informed me that I didn't have the power to do that anymore. I, just as coldly, told him that I knew that, and I was going to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, anyway, and he'd just better just get used to it! Then I kicked him off the holodeck. So don't blow your top when tells you that he couldn't run the warp core simulation. Because I confess. It's all my fault. See you tomorrow.

Kathy Janeway
Ex-Captain
U.S.S. Voyager