A/N oh yea, by the way, i don't own Animorphs blah blah blah. Ya know the drill... Anyways this is for
the people who wanted more. Or at least wanted closure on what was gonna happen to Rachel. I just
wanted to make clear that this isn't some alternate ending, I was satisfied w/ K.A's ending. This is one
of those "I wonder what Rachel did to David in the end..." kinda things. Everyone says it would have
been the humane thing to kill him... but hello? Its Rachel we're talking about. She lost her humanity a
long time ago, I guess that was kinda the point to #48, that and David. But here we go again... and
now for the story. . .
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*FLASH*
Its a beautiful world, He said thickly. I'll miss it.

*FLASH*
I soared high above the mess that was our town, towards the Pool ship. I assumed thats where Tom
would be. And he was my goal. I had to get on Tom.... But how?

*FLASH*
"I don't know what to do," I whispered, my throat working.

I can't help you, Rachel.

I put him down on the dirty pavement, gently. Then I put my head in my arms and I cried.

*FLASH*
Flea vision. How dull. I hoped that I wouldn't get caught. I may not want to die now, but I don't want to
die as a flea on the enemy's head. I tried to keep the flea still. Tom couldn't know I was here, yet.

*FLASH*
He wasn't going to go away. He wasn't going to make it easy.

Just kill me, he said softly.

*FLASH*
Go take a salt bath, yeerk. I spit at him.

*FLASH*
I was alone with David.
My enemy was completely at my mercy.
I caught a glimpse of myself in a broken shard of mirror.

And I saw what anyone looking down the allyway from the sidewalk would have seen.

A young girl sitting knees-up in the sun, staring at a white rat.

It would be hard to believe that the entire fate of the planet depended on that girl

A girl who wanted to do the right thing.
But who had no idea at all what the right thing was...
I reached for the pretty pinkish rat, not sure of what I was going to do; of what I could do.

RACHEL, YOU MUST, AS YOU HUMANS SAY, LOOK FOR THE SHADES OF GREY.

"Ellimist!" I hissed. "So now you show up? Where were you when I was trapped in a box? Huh?
Where were you when I was becoming super me?"

RACHEL, CRAYAK AND I HAVE REACHED AN AGREEMENT. I AM NOT SURE YOU WILL AGREE.
BUT PLEASE, LISTEN AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND. THERE IS A WAY TO END ALL OF THIS....

The next thing I knew I was floating, not in space, underwater. I wasn't alone either. Next to me was a
boy. A troubled looking boy. His nose was doing a kinda strange twitching thingy. He looked at me.
And then opened his mouth, and squeaked.

He tried again: "Rachel? Am I... human?" I nodded. "Ha! I am back! No way!! I am not imagining it this
time! Yes!!!" He looked down at his fingers, at his morphing clothes that we had given him so long ago
How long had it been? A year? One hundred? He looked at me. Even though his face still seemed
blank, and his eyes still looked like little rat eyes, he was glowing. He was happy. And he didn't get it
yet. He didn't understand that for this freedom there would be a price.

And as if on cue to that very thought. They both appeared. Ellimist, and Crayak. Two beings so powerful
it was impossible to fathdom. Crayak was his usual beastly half living, half machine monster, and
Ellimist was now some sort of bird-like creature. I wasn't going to ask about it. I would get some backwards
question/answer.

"Rachel," he said, "you and your fellow Animorphs have suffered greatly during the course of this war."

Wel,l no duh! It all hasn't been a walk in the park, I thought.

"But no other Animorph has suffered more than you," he went on. "Not even Tobias. I do believe that he has... enjoyed
the way his life turned, and so did you, at first." He once more became his old, fake self. He looked at me, his eyes
seemed sad, old, maybe.

"Oh just get on with it!" Crayak complained. "She wants to hear it straight. What is this deal. You want to know the deal,
Rachel? Here it is. David goes free, and stays human, and never gives you all away, for the price of your life."

"What?!" He didn't just say what I think he said, did he? "Why should I give my life for him?" I looked at David. He jerked
towards me, surprised. His face was a mix of emotions, but they were all slowly melting back to the usual troubled look.

"Because, Rachel, you're the one who trapped me like this. You and no one else. Don't even deny it now. It was your
plan. Only a monster like you could come up with something that cruel!" he spit. "And now you can't even stand behind
it? You all took my normal life, and made me a part of your group. And then you all slowly turn on me!"

"Hey now!" I felt all the old anger bubbling up inside me. "We didn't turn on you. You turned on us! I only did what was
right! And-"

"Right? Right!? You don't even know the meaning of right anymore, Rachel! Tell me, Rachel, Its right to kill a yeerk, okay,
but its also right to kill the host, just because they had the misfortune of getting in the way? Is that right? What can you
say to that? Or, is it right to kill defensless slugs when they are in the pool?"

"I... I... you can't-"

"And tell me this: Was it right for you to threaten me? To jam a fork in my ear when I was most helpless? I mean think
about it. I was troubled! I just lost my entire life and family because of you all. Of course I would have a few problems.
But did that give you all the right to do what you did?"

And then, not for the first time, I realized just how blurred my lines of right and wrong were. How many defensless people
have I killed? How many hosts? How many poor, peaceful Hork Bajir? And David? Is it my fault that he is so disturbed?
Did I push to hard when I should have just given him time? I wished for Cassie. She would be able to help. She could tell
me what was right and wrong. Couldn't she? Or deep down was she just as confused as me?

"Rachel..." Ellimist. "I want to show you, what I showed you so long ago. Your world. Your oceans with all its life, and
creatures.Your deserts with all its beautiful pure white sand, and even some of your people, such as yourself, are
stunningly beautful. You have known, and seen all of this. But David, and many of your other victims, have never gotten
to see this. And in death, will never be able to."

"But its a war," I pleaded, "there are supposed to be casualties. People are supposed to die...." At this point I just wanted
to get away from it all, go away to some sunny, private beach, and lie in the sad and let the sun bake me. I felt tired, no,
old, like I was hundreds of years old. But my mind wouldn't let me. It kept wandering back to all the people I have hurt, or
killed. David, the hundreds, maybe thousands now, Hork Bajir, Taxxons, Leerans... even yeerks. Each of them had been
a life. Maybe not a saintly life, but still, a life in itself, full of stories, and adventures that were had belonged only to them.
And I had ended those stories.

It was a burden that I had felt before, and pushed away. A feeling that I couldn't ignore now. The weight pushed in on me
on all sides, smothering me, suffocating. It was like being back in that box again, only moments away from a life as a rat.
My life, my sanity, had all hung on a simple thin thread. Is that how all my victims felt. Had they hoped that maybe my
mercy would save them? Let them live for another day? Or had some of them found freedom in death? Had I been doing
them a favor, or harming them?

I looked at David again. He was, himself, one of the most dangerous and formidible enemies that we had ever encountered
He was dangerous, but that was only because of us. He was troubled, but i think he's been like like that since before we
discovered him, what with Spawn and Megadeath. David glared at me, but there was also a hope in his eyes. Again,
someone else's life hung before me on a thin, silk thread, and I had the scissors. But this time there was more involved.
He wasn't just one person, not really, not to me. He represented every enemy that I had; from outside and within. And they
were all screaming to be freed. They wanted to live, and I was the life-bearer, their liberator.

"Have you decided, Rachel?" the Ellimist pressed.

I looked at him, and then my mind wandered past him. What about Tobias? Cassie? Jake? My family, my parents, my
sisters? How would they handle it if I died? Would they all move on? Yes, they would eventually resume with their
normal lives. They wouldn't forget me, but they wouldn't hash over my death every single day of their lives. Would they?
No, not my family, not my friends. Maybe Tobias. Yes, I knew that I held his sanity in my hands, and yet I couldn't even
hold onto mine. Strange how life works. I almost laughed. But then stopped. It wasn't funny. Would he go on with his
normal life, become human? Or would he hide behind the hawk? But could I put him over thousands of others? Well
thats what you have beend doing, right Rachel? Isn't it? No.

No more thinking, just do it, get it over with, and don't think about it. I turned to the Ellmist. "Okay. Okay, yea, I have
decided. . ."