Did this for English class. We were supposed to write a narrative paragraph 200 words long, but like most of my stories, that's not enough. So...I expanded it and now I'm posting it here.
Ryuuen stared out onto the street. He stood still, not wanting to face the reality of what had just happened. "Kourin..." he said quietly. Tears rolling down his cheek, he slowly opened his eyes. What he dreaded was true. Kourin laid on the dirt road, the driver of the wagon kneeling over her, shaking her gently.
Ryuuen took small steps towards his sister. Rokou tapped him gently on the shoulder from behind, but he continued walking. Bowing his head, he whispered. "Go. Go get Mother and Father." His older brother quickly obliged and ran into their house.
He was now at her feet. She looked like he was sleeping, her thumb close to her mouth. Ryuuen urged his body forward. The wind whipped genly at his bun, and he removed the ribbon holding it up. "Kourin...Don't leave me, kourin. Please."
He let himself fall onto his knees, and buried his face in his hands. Kourin's hair had escaped her buns, and her hair fell onto her shoulders. The horse that had trampled her stood at the side, crunching on his oats. "Aniki..."
"Kourin. Don't waste your breath. You're gonna live, Kourin. I'll make sure of it."
I could have saved her, he thought. I'm strong. If i... If I had run into the street with her, she'd be fine.
Through his shirt, his chest blazed. "Don't die on me, Kourin. You can't!"
Kourin gave a weak smile. "Who said...I was gonna die..."
Ryuuen wiped the hair off her forehead. "Kourin...If I could, I would gladly trade my life for yours."
A trickle of blood ran out of her mouth. "Don't...Ryuuen. You...have so much...to live for." She smiled again. "I love you, Aniki. Tell Kaa-san and Tou-san that...I love them. And Onii-chan too. Nuriko."
Kourin's eyes closed, and she managed another smile. Ryuuen laid his hand on her cheek, caressing it softly. Coldness met with his palm, and he jerked it back with surprise. "Kourin!!!"
For a moment, he was lost. Warm hands met with his shoulders, and he turned around to see his mother. "Kaa-san!" He cried. "Kaa-san, Kourin's...Kourin's..." he sobbed harder into her skirt. His mother hugged him, gently swaying him back and forth.
"Shhh," she said quietly. "It's okay to cry."
What'd ya think? I was gonna make it one of those "I'm you" fics, but I like this better. I actually started crying in the middle of this. It was sad to write. I feel kinda bad, writing something like this in the middle of a war. R(well, you've already done that) & R! Writers love comments!!
**Selph**
Ryuuen stared out onto the street. He stood still, not wanting to face the reality of what had just happened. "Kourin..." he said quietly. Tears rolling down his cheek, he slowly opened his eyes. What he dreaded was true. Kourin laid on the dirt road, the driver of the wagon kneeling over her, shaking her gently.
Ryuuen took small steps towards his sister. Rokou tapped him gently on the shoulder from behind, but he continued walking. Bowing his head, he whispered. "Go. Go get Mother and Father." His older brother quickly obliged and ran into their house.
He was now at her feet. She looked like he was sleeping, her thumb close to her mouth. Ryuuen urged his body forward. The wind whipped genly at his bun, and he removed the ribbon holding it up. "Kourin...Don't leave me, kourin. Please."
He let himself fall onto his knees, and buried his face in his hands. Kourin's hair had escaped her buns, and her hair fell onto her shoulders. The horse that had trampled her stood at the side, crunching on his oats. "Aniki..."
"Kourin. Don't waste your breath. You're gonna live, Kourin. I'll make sure of it."
I could have saved her, he thought. I'm strong. If i... If I had run into the street with her, she'd be fine.
Through his shirt, his chest blazed. "Don't die on me, Kourin. You can't!"
Kourin gave a weak smile. "Who said...I was gonna die..."
Ryuuen wiped the hair off her forehead. "Kourin...If I could, I would gladly trade my life for yours."
A trickle of blood ran out of her mouth. "Don't...Ryuuen. You...have so much...to live for." She smiled again. "I love you, Aniki. Tell Kaa-san and Tou-san that...I love them. And Onii-chan too. Nuriko."
Kourin's eyes closed, and she managed another smile. Ryuuen laid his hand on her cheek, caressing it softly. Coldness met with his palm, and he jerked it back with surprise. "Kourin!!!"
For a moment, he was lost. Warm hands met with his shoulders, and he turned around to see his mother. "Kaa-san!" He cried. "Kaa-san, Kourin's...Kourin's..." he sobbed harder into her skirt. His mother hugged him, gently swaying him back and forth.
"Shhh," she said quietly. "It's okay to cry."
What'd ya think? I was gonna make it one of those "I'm you" fics, but I like this better. I actually started crying in the middle of this. It was sad to write. I feel kinda bad, writing something like this in the middle of a war. R(well, you've already done that) & R! Writers love comments!!
**Selph**
