Chapter Four: Oh No for Shinji

Eventually, the apartment was filled with the moans of two happy women. Shinji heard none of this, however, since he was sitting on the floor in his room, listening to his SDAT. He kept rewinding it to play track 26 over and over and over and over and over....

"BAKA!" screamed Asuka, slapping Kensuke. His glasses fell off his face, and he began to cry.

" Whaaa! But you wanted to go shopping with me! Why can't I get the GI Joe with kung fu grip?"

" Dumkopf! I only wanted to go shopping with you because you have a platinum card with no limit! Now, CARRY MY BAGS!!!"

Kensuke's shoulders slumped, and he picked up Asuka's bags.

" Now, what shall I buy next?" she thought outloud. She looked up at Kensuke, and saw his eyes begin to drift to the other side of the store.

" How about lingerie? I could help you pick out some stuff....."

Asuka's face began to swell, and her eyes turned fiery red.

" I only meant that you might get some to tease Shinji!"

This made Asuka's face grow even more red, and Kensuke could see the distorted image above her head as the heat began to rise.

" I'm in trouble, huh?"

Asuka managed to nod before sending Kensuke flying into a display of panty hose. His face looked contorted in pain as he began to it up, then, realizing where he had landed, his mouth turned into a goofy grin, his nose began to bleed, and he laid back down.

" WHEE! PANTY HOSE ANGELS!!!"

Asuka slapped her forehead.

***

...and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.....

***

Rei awoke in the hospital, Gendo sitting in the chair next to her. He was asleep, a smile on his face. She almost smiled, glad about how much he cared for her. Then, she noticed the smile wasn't from her. She looked down and saw Maya Ibuki, one of the lowlier technicians, asleep as well, her head in his lap. He pants were zipped, yet unbuttoned. Her face went a whiter shade of pale, and she slumped back down on the bed.

" Nurse..." she said softly. The portly Asian nurse waddled into the room.

" Yes, Ms. Ayanami?"

" I wish to inquire about what chemicals go into a lethal injection, and if you can make one for me."

" Now now, Ms. Ayanami," said the nurse with a stern look, " you just had a bump pn the head. Nothing to commit suicide over."

" It's not for me," said Rei, glancing at the Commander.

" What do you mean?"

" If I were to kill the Commander, would it be murder, or charity?"

The nurse looked at the girl, then smiled a nervous smile. She leaned into the hallway.


" Nurse Shitsu, could you bring me another syringe full of morphine?.....thanks."

***

...over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and bzzzt!

Shinji bolted up right. He knew that there was certainly something wrong with the last portion of his song. Maybe it sounded a little off key. No, it was definetly the bzzzt part.

He picked his SDAT off the floor and hit rewind. Nothing happened. The numbers were no longer on, and there was a smell of burnt plastic. He hit the eject button, and the SDAT opened up, revealing a rather melted mini disc and a burned out SDAT motor.

" Oh, no....."

A grim realization hit Shinji. He knew that not only did he have to get a new disc, but he had to get a new SDAT. And he knew that being a NERV pilot didn't pay nearly as much as it should of. He also knew that he had only two possible sources of income.

One of these sources was his lovely boozehound of a caretaker Misato Katsuragi. However, everyday after she received her paycheck, she took her car to the local Habitsu Gas Station and filled up a new tank, went into the thrifty mart and bought a 98 pack of beer and a 64 pack of instant ramen, got back into her newspaper, paid the toll booth operator ninety three thousand yen (about 2 bucks in the US), and came home. That was pretty much all her money right there, There would be a little bit left over, but not nearly the necessary 10,429,392,094,102,390,138,401,293,085,013,412,091,024,812 yen to buy an SDAT.

This insight revealed to him that therefore he only had one source of possible income. And he shuddered to think about what it was. In fact, this source would be like tempting fate itself. He had never heard of anyone actually getting money from this source, and, since he also was a pessimist, he figured that it was because nobody who ever attempted it lived to tell the tale.

The only other possible source would be his father, Commander Gendo, one of the biggest dorks on the planet. Shinji whimpered silently in the darkness.

***

The next day, while Gendo was in his favorite position, he began to reflect that he was not being a good father to Shinji, and he should somehow make it up to him. And so, when Shinji walked into the command center, his broken SDAT in his hands, Gendo stood up and stared at the boy.

" Shinji," he said loudly. Shinji stopped in his tracks.

" Uh....yes, dad?"

" Prepare yourself!" Shinji dropped his SDAT to the floor and began to run towards the locker room, about to don his plugsuit and battle whatever Angel might be attacking.

" No! Prepare yourself...for Dairy Queen."

Numerous gasps filled the room. Shinji facefaulted. Hyuga, Shigeru, and Fuyutsuki fainted. Shinji managed to choke out a reply. " What?"

" You will accompany me to the local Dairy Queen, where we will indulge ourselves with frozen sweet milk." Shinji felt his knee's begin to give away. He had no other alternative but to walk alongside his dad, outside. They piled into Gendo's car, and began to drive.

" Uh, dad?" said Shinji, marveling at Gendo's car.

" What is it, Shinji?" asked Gendo quietly.

" Since when do you drive a VW Bug?" Gendo quickly turned around a corner.

" Never mind that," he said, racking his brain for a conversation topic. " So, Shinji, tell me...DO YOU ENJOY BASEBALL?!?!?"

Shinji jumped in surprise. " Um....no?" he replied nervously. Gendo frowned.

" ALL BOY'S LOVE BASEBALL!!!!!" he shouted. Shinji cowered.

" Um....I prefer playing the cello," he said meekly. The car skidded to a halt. Gendo leaned very close to Shinji.

" What did you say?" he said, deathly quiet. Shinji 'eeped.'

" Um....well, I'm not very good, and..."

Suddenly, something very odd happened. Some would say that it was an astronomical rarity. Others say it was a scientific impossibility. Shinji, to this day, is still unsure what happened.

Gendo Ikari hugged Shinji.

" The cello is my favorite instrument." And with that bold statement, Gendo began driving again. They arrived at Dairy Queen, and entered.

" I would like a banana split. What do you want, Shinji?" Shinji stepped towards the pimply Asian teenager. " I would like a hot fudge sundae."

" We're all out of fudge," said the teen in a crackly voice. Gendo leaned forward.

" Then I suggest you make some."

The teenager did what any teenager would do if a fully grown, intimidating if not plain scary adult was threatening him. He argued.

" Listen, bub, as you can see from my chevrons, I am not any cashier, I am an assistant sub manager in training, and I deserve some respect!"

Gendo grabbed the boy by his shirt, and dragged him close. " My son wants hot fudge, and he will get hot fudge," he said quietly. The teenager shakily nodded, and went into the back kitchen.

Shinji felt an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach towards his dad. At first he thought it was anger, like usual, but it was different. It was...warm, fuzzy even. Then it struck him. He couldn't believe it, and to this day, still doesn't.

It was respect.