Lily/James: Part 2
James joined his friends at their usual spot in the common room and sat down in his favourite armchair. Peter was trying to talk to Sirius but gave up and decided to play chess by himself. Remus was pretending to read a History of Magic textbook to avoid having to play chess with Peter.
It was a strange sight to see James brooding close by with his legs crossed in the 'guy' way. He never did that before.
At least this was what Sofia though as she sat down next to James.
"Hey, where's Lil?" She asked him.
James jumped like he was surprised, " How would I know where she was? I don't keep tabs on her and I definitely didn't see where she went. Not like I'm her boyfriend or something. If you want to know you should go find her yourself…" James stopped himself when he realised he was babbling. All his friends including Sofia were looking at him strangely.
"Ok then…" Sofia said slowly, " I was just asking."
"Prongs, is something wrong?" Sirius asked him. James quickly shook his head.
"No, no. Everything's fine. Just fine. Why are you asking?"
"Uh… no reason." Sirius replied looking at him uncertainly. James sank back into his armchair and smiled gratefully at the warmth and comfort of the fireplace.
"Hey guys!" Lily said unusually cheerful and bright for a very dull day, appearing behind James.
James immediately shot up regretfully from the comfortable position he was in and was seemingly anxious to run away.
"I thought you were getting comfortable there, Prongs." Sirius called out to him.
"Oh no, I'm really very tired."
"But it's only 1:30. In the afternoon."
"I like to sleep early."
"This early? Since when?"
"Since now. Got a problem?"
"Of course not. Go ahead. But you're missing out on a great session with two be- utiful ladies here."
James involuntarily blushed at this comment and saw his friends looking at him with their mouths open.
"What?" he asked, hoping he didn't have food in his teeth or something.
"You're blushing!" Sirius said whooping loudly.
James was very confused, "and…?"
"James Potter never blushes!" Sirius concluded proudly.
"Oh. Right." That was true. He begged all the gods up there that Lily didn't know why he had blushed.
She was busily trying to avoid any eye contact with him and this somehow reacted strangely with his, well, what he supposed was his heart and he took off for his dorm without another word.
Well that was nice and strange, he thought to himself, now if I can make it for the rest of my school life without making a total fool out of myself like then, I would just be very, very happy.
***
"That was weird. Wonder what's up with him." Sirius said to the remaining friends after James left. He looked around at them with questioning eyes. Everyone else seemed to not know, but Lily didn't meet his eyes.
"Oh well," he replied to himself shrugging, "I'm hungry. Anyone want to come to the kitchen with me?"
"We just had lunch half an hour ago," Sofia pointed out.
"Well I'm a growing boy. Who's in?"
"I'll come," Peter spoke up.
"Umm… anyone else?" Sirius asked looking at the rest of his friends desperately pleading.
"Yeah… ok," They all, minus Lily, answered rather grudgingly, just to save Sirius from total boredom.
"What about you Lil?" Sofia asked her.
"I'm gonna go to the library. Heaps of work." Lily replied.
"Ok then. See ya later I suppose."
"Aha."
***
Think, Potter, think. James asked himself, lying on his bed. What would you do if you found yourself liking someone.
Duh! Tell her and ask her out, idiot, an unwanted voice answered him
Right, another voice replied laughing, like THAT'S gonna happen.
Why not? The unwanted voice spoke up again.
What sort of a stupid question is that? Of course that's not gonna happen. If I were you, James, I'd pick some other random chick to ask out. And make sure she's willing to make out.
That is just stupid, the other voice said huffily.
What would you know? You're gay.
Now where did that come from Potter?
I don't know, he replied to himself. But he did know that he was gonna take the advice about asking someone else out and having a nice long snogging session without thinking once about Lily Evans. Maybe that'd squash the feelings he'd experienced in the last two hours, and hopefully convince him that nothing in his mind was gay.
***
Lily sat staring at the sentence she had already read at least fifteen times. She just couldn't concentrate. The scene of the kiss kept replaying in her mind and she was blowing everything out of proportion.
"Peter is such a dumbass." Sofia said dumping her books down next to Lily and sitting, "I told him there was a dead bird and he actually looked UP."
Lily looked at her friend blankly, "huh?"
Sofia sighed and shook her head, "Don't worry. Nothing important."
"What happened to the kitchen raid?"
"Sirius was spending way too much time in there so I decided to split. Did I interrupt anything?"
Lily shook her head, and tried reading the same sentence again for the sixteenth time.
Of course, she couldn't concentrate with her best friend staring at her. Slowly, Lily looked up at her.
"What?"
"Oh nothing." Sofia replied looking down at her book. Lily frowned suspiciously.
"Tell me what's so interesting."
"Well, I noticed a change."
"In what? I didn't die my hair if that's what you're wondering."
"No. I mean in you and James."
"Oh," Lily replied looking down. "Right"
"Well," Sofia continued, "it's just that you guys were so close and would talk whenever you had the chance, but now it's like you're trying to avoid each other or something. Want to tell me anything?"
"No." Lily insisted.
Sofia shrugged, "Ok then. Have it your way." She went back to her work. Lily sat quietly looking at her friend and wondering why she had given up so quickly. She probably knew that Lily would crack anyway.
"Ok I'll tell you." Lily finally said.
Sofia sat up grinning. "Glad you're seeing it my way."
"We kissed after potions today."
Sofia's eyes widened. "Really now? Do you like him?"
"No!" Lily said a little too quickly.
Sofia just smiled. "He is kind of cute you know."
" Only if you're far away, squint a lot and warp a few things. Do you like him?" Lily asked curiously, not knowing whether she wanted to know the answer.
" I don't know. But if you swear you don't like him, then at least I can keep the option open."
Lily shrugged trying to look nonchalant. "You can have him."
***
Hmmm… so many to choose from, so little time. James looked around wondering which one looked willing. All girls were actually staring at him as he walked past and bursting out into little fits of giggles. He spotted a bouncing brunette in one of those groups and thought she looked like a good shot.
He stopped her as she was walking past and asked her out. There was an immediate 'yes', a blush, a giggle and then she ran off to tell her friends that THE James Potter had asked her out.
Oh well, he thought, not Lily, but it'll have to do. She does have quite a passable rack too. It was a slight consolation from her not actually being Lily.
***
That night, Lily found James in his usual spot in front of the fireplace. She hadn't spoken to him at all since the kiss thing happened and she wanted to make sure he wasn't trying to avoid her on purpose.
"Hey James," she greeted him as normally as possible.
"Oh… hi." He replied not looking up at her as she sat down across from him. He couldn't help thinking how beautiful she looked in front of the fire, and he was scared by his sudden cornyness.
"I haven't talked to you all day. Normally we'd be having heaps long conversations." She told him, wanting his reassurance that they could still be good friends.
"Uh… yeah. Look, I'm sorry. I'd love to stay and chat," he replied. Liar, he told himself and stood up, "but I really have to go."
"Oh," She looked disappointed and James hated himself for having to lie to her, even though he really did have to go or he'd be keeping what's-her-name waiting.
"See ya," he said trying to get away from the awkwardness as soon as possible.
"Yeah. Bye. Where are you going?" She asked him as an afterthought.
"On a date," he tried saying as casually as possible. He walked out of the common room and she instantly regretted asking him as jealousy tore through her harshly.
***
"And you know, you should really come to the 'Ladies' Show' and watch us perform. It's this new thing that some of us made up. We're inviting all the girls in Hogwarts to do something to perform in front of everyone. Of course, It's up to you if you want to come but I'd really like it if you do." Nikki or Noreen, or could be Nicole, James couldn't remember, was babbling. He found out that was what she liked doing best. He wasn't yet able to score.
"Really," he replied bored and trying to stifle a yawn, "who's gonna be there?"
"Oh!" She said jumping at his first sign of interest. "It's going to be heaps of us. A lot of girls from Gryffindor have agreed to participate, some from Ravenclaw not that many from Slytherin though!" she said cheerfully. James had concluded that her middle name was 'Bounce'. That was all she ever seemed to do. Bob up and down until she had given him a headache.
"Uh huh…" he replied, his head dropped and he gave in to a yawn. "When is it?"
"Well we were going to have it last week but then everyone said it was too early so we changed it to two weeks later, but then they said it was too late and everyone just couldn't make up their minds so we decided to have it in the middle which would be tomorrow!" She concluded bouncing one again.
"That's nice. I think I'd better get back now. I have heaps of homework." He told her standing up. The thought of just getting away from her was giving him energy.
"Oh. Ok, I totally understand. So will you be at the show tomorrow?"
"Umm… maybe. Depends."
"Yeah, ok. This was really cool you know, us two on a date. I had heaps of fun. I hope we can go out again another time."
"Yeah…ok then." He said uncertainly but she didn't get the clue as she bounded off, her irritatingly bouncy curls were, well, bouncing. I really need sleep now.
***
James was glad that is was Saturday and rolled over to fall asleep once again. He could wake up anytime. Well, that would've been the case if Sirius and Remus didn't decide to come over and jump on his bed to wake him up.
"Ok, ok. I'm awake. What time is it?" he asked them grumpily sitting up and putting on his glasses.
"It's breakfast time and we have to be there." Remus answered him.
"Why? And since when was Padfoot out of bed this early on a Saturday morning?"
"Come on Prongs," Sirius said shoving James off his bed and towards the bathroom, "we need to go. Its 'Ladies' show' and imagine just how many ladies are gonna be there!"
"The same as there are at breakfast and dinner?"
"Yeah. But this time they're performing in little iddy-biddy costumes that will be showing a LOT of cleavage!"
"How can you be so cheerful? It's too early."
"Just hurry up. We're meeting Lily and Sofia down there. They're gonna be performing too."
James thought it was worthwhile to see what the girls of Hogwarts had to offer, convincing himself that he wasn't just gonna be there to see Lily.
***
Lily stood alone on the backstage that Dumbledore had conjured with his wand, watching the other girls bustling around in their costumes getting ready. She was slightly nervous at having to perform and was thinking of backing out of it. There was a commotion on the otherside of the backstage as some half-dressed girls shrieked and quickly ran to get cover.
James, Sirius and Remus walked in, followed by Peter. They were looking around for someone. At least, that was what James and Remus was doing. Sirius was too busy smiling at the half-dressed girls.
"Don't worry ladies," he told them, "We're only here to help you. Would you like any assistance in anything? Like, say… getting dressed? Me and my buddies here would love to help you maidens." This only caused them to blush under their already heavily blushed up face and giggle behind their hands.
Lily saw Nina bound up to James and gush about how glad he was here. She must've been his date last night, she thought to herself wistfully.
She heard him talk to Nina, "I'm only here to see-" James looked up and met Lily's eyes. She felt her heart stop. Oh dear, I must be suffering a heart attack, and was followed by a No, no, I'm still alive. And at least I haven't lost my sense of humor.
Nina and her friends crowded around him and pulled him away so they could show him their array of costumes. He glanced back at Lily and she gave him a half- smile that looked slightly sad and decided that she couldn't perform. This place was making her sick, she couldn't breathe and she was feeling dizzy. She told Sofia that she couldn't do it and went outside to the lake. The water always soothed her and she instantly felt better.
Why exactly did I have to fall for him? She asked herself for the hundredth time since they had kissed and she had felt their relationship change. He's self-centered and up himself, not to mention completely commitment-phobe.
Although he did say when he found the right person, he wouldn't be.
Well, It's not like he'd like me. I'm too plain and boring. All I am and always will be to him is good ol' stand by Lily. Always there if you need a helping hand. Only just a buddy. He probably likes sofia anyway. And I hate the way he goes around parading a different girl every two days. It's sickening.
But he hasn't done that in a while.
So what? Not like that'd change anything. And he went on a date just last night for Christ's sake!
It was just a date. One measly date.
Why did I have to ask him to give me my first kiss of all people? If I didn't, then it never would've happened and I wouldn't be down here like this. I am so stupid. I am so, so stupid. From now on I'm going to be distant and cold towards him. And then, maybe I'll have enough sense to not like him anymore. This thought cheered her up only a little bit.
***
James went outside looking around for Lily. He had seen her leave and wanted to talk to her, for some unknown reason about something he wasn't quite sure about yet. He couldn't deny that he had been avoiding her ever since they had kissed. But he had unintentionally done that. Now, all he could hope for was her friendship and he did want that.
He found her standing by the lake, so unbelievably beautiful and she looked lost in thought. "Hey," he greeted her from behind. She jumped, startled by the interruption.
She gave him a look that could only be described as cold. James frowned, wondering what he had done, and coming up with nothing.
Lily resented having him here in close proximity after her resolve about being distant from him. She could feel it slipping away by his presence. She looked at his lips, wanting to avoid his eyes. Oops. Big mistake. It just made her want to kiss him. She looked at his chest, his shoes, her shoes, the trees, the lake, anywhere but his eyes.
"What is it?" She finally asked him curtly.
James felt the sudden familiar urge to kiss her, even though she seemed to be acting like a bitch towards him. He debated with himself. Torn between wanting and really shouldn't. In the end, the wanting won and he allowed himself to give into it as he lowered his lips to hers tentatively. Lily felt great in his arms, like she belonged there. The kiss grew deeper and he felt her kissing him back with urgency. This isn't right. She's gonna hate you if you don't stop. But this does feel great. Stop now! And it jolted him back to reality. He needed to explain before she hated him more than she probably already did. He took a step back, releasing her. She looked up at him clearly dazed.
He cleared his throat, "Umm… about that kiss…" he started his voice sounding strangely hoarse and unlike his own.
"Yes?" Lily prompted.
""It meant nothing. You know, just like your practice kiss."
She nodded slowly, looking down. "Right," She looked behind his shoulder at the castle. "Well I'd better head in now. Go do my homework…you know."
"Yeah ok, and again, about the kiss…"
She held up her hand to stop him any further.
"I know, it meant nothing." She walked away from him, towards the castle.
No, James thought, watching her leave, It meant everything.
A/N. Well, there'll be more to come maybe. Thanks heaps to my beta reader Queen C. I'm very grateful.
Disclaimer again: All JK Rowling's.
