Lily/James: Part 3
Lily was feeling oddly dizzy. Or confused. Well, she had definitely never felt like this before, so much so, that when she bumped into Shane Walton, a fellow Gryffindor who also shared the same dorm as the marauders, she didn't bother to apologize or even stop. This Gryffindor decided to follow her, being as concerned about her well being as he was. So follow her he did. Through the Great Hall, up the staircase (stepping over the vanishing step) pass Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, through the long corridor until the Gryffindor common room came into sight. She sank into an armchair, only acknowledging her stalker now.
"Do you have a reason for following me around or should I be freaked by now?" She asked Shane in the nicest way possible.
"Well I did have a reason, but I realized that it wasn't enough to justify following you around."
"Ok." Enough had happened in the last twenty- four hours, she didn't feel like getting into a conversation with any guy at all. She'd decidedly had enough of guys for a while.
But this guy didn't get the hint of the 'go away' flick of her hand. He stayed there scrutinizing her.
"What? Do I have lipstick on my teeth?" she asked him sarcastically.
"No. Well, I was just wondering if you'd like to go out… some time. Some where. Maybe." He said uncertainly, a bit put off by her aloofness. Or bitchiness. Call it what you want.
This question somehow startled her. Well, she definitely wasn't expecting that.
"Uh… well I don't know… a few things have happened lately and-"
"Yeah okay," he cut in, "I understand."
Lily looked up at him, feeling uncomfortable with him towering over her while she sat. He was rather cute. And it may be just the thing to make her forget about James Potter.
"No, you know what? I'd love to." She told him.
"Really?" He replied grinning.
"Nope. Just wanted to see your reaction." His smile faltered. "Yes really, you dimwit," she said to him, "What did you think?"
"Great!" He said cheerfully.
Lily looked around the common room, realising they were the only ones there, which was slightly weird as Saturday's always prompted loud noises and running around.
"Where is everyone?" She asked Shane.
"Don't you know? They're at the 'Ladies show' of course."
"Oh. Right." She was supposed to be in it, and then she remembered James again and cringed.
"Are you alright?" He asked her concerned.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Why aren't you there?"
"Well, I was following you of course!"
"Wow. How sweet." At this, Shane blushed deeply. Lily couldn't help thinking that there was something about him that was appealing and was glad to have someone to take her mind off James. And then her guilty conscience kicked in, and she kept telling herself she wasn't using Shane. That she would like him when she got to know him better.
Shane shuffled his feet awkwardly, not being able to think of a conversation opener.
"Ok, I'm gonna go now." He finally told her. She smiled at him and nodded, sliding further down into her armchair when he went out.
***
James watched the rest of the show unenthusiastically, not bothering to clap when the last performance ended. He had come into the great hall after watching Lily leave in hope of some male companions. Of course, that was a lost case since he was sitting in the 'ladies show', which would of course have many ladies.
He got up to leave with his friends when Shane joined them, grinning goofily from ear to ear.
"What's up with you?" Sirius asked him.
"I've got a date with the most gorgeous girl in the school." Shane answered him smugly.
"Really? Who?" Peter asked interested. James wanted to get out of here, not wishing to discuss another guy's successful love life since his was clearly down the drain.
"Lily Evans." Shane replied smugly. James swiftly looked up at him and felt an odd painful lurching in the pit off his stomach.
He couldn't make his feelings for Lily apparent. Especially since she was plainly interested in someone else. He had to let go of her, no matter what.
***
Sofia had the best idea for Lily's surprise birthday party. It was going to be held in a week, which gave her just enough time to get decorations and organize everything else. Now all she had to do was get hold of James, being that he was Lily's closest friend.
Sofia spotted Sirius just ahead and called out to him.
"Yeah? Whadda ya want?" Sirius asked her as soon as she was next to him.
"Just wanted to know where James was." She replied.
Sirius frowned, "I think he's out practicing quidditch. Said something about fresh air."
"Ok. Thanks. Still on for Lily's party right?" She asked him. He nodded in reply.
"Spread the word about it. And um… make sure Lily doesn't find out." She added as an afterthought.
"Well, duh." Sirius replied before going off to his friends.
Sofia decided to go see Lily, since disturbing James while practicing quidditch was definitely out of the question.
***
James soared through the air feeling the breeze on his face. Nothing like a good fly to take your mind off a girl.
Next week was Lily's birthday and James wasn't sure whether it would be too weird if he got her something. Although, it would seem pretty weird if he didn't, seeing as how he'd gotten her something every year since they had met. And what to give her was also another hard trivial question. Something expensive would seem like he really liked her, but something cheap would just be degrading to both of them.
Oh well, he still had a week to think about it. He'd probably go shopping with Sofia, borrow her woman's touch.
***
The next morning, Lily woke up with a sense of foreboding that she had to do something. Oh, right. My date with Shane. It was Sunday, so they were allowed to go to Hogsmeade. They had agreed to meet at the Three Broomsticks at 11:30. So that gave her about an hour to get ready.
When she went downstairs into the common room, she saw Sofia and James talking softly to each other closely and she felt a familiar pang of jealousy, but she had to ignore it, as today was her day with Shane with absolutely no James at all. Hopefully.
***
"So that's the list of decorations." James said to Sofia as he looked down at the very long list of decorations. "Are you sure that's all?" He asked her sarcastically.
"Don't be such a smart- ass." She replied, "I thought we could go to Hogsmeade now to buy the stuff. And we can also get Lily's present."
"Ok," James answered. "There's no better time than the present."
"Exactly my thoughts." Sofia told him, linking her arm through his as they made their way out the portrait hole.
***
"Is that the last one on the list?" Sofia asked James while tossing the self-popping balloons into their shopping cart.
"Yep. Last one."
"Ok. I'll go pay."
James spotted the Quality Quidditch Supplies store opposite and told Sofia he'd be there, probably drooling over the latest broomstick.
He walked out and, shoving his hands in his trouser pockets sauntered over to the store. He looked in the window, eager to see the new broom, but something else caught his eye.
It was the reflection in the window of a familiar redhead, walking with someone. James turned around and watched Shane catch Lily's swinging hand in his. She looked up at him and smiled. James' heart was numbing at the sight of her looking happy with someone else. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the mental image of them. They look so perfect together. And he almost had a whole morning without thinking of her. Slowly he turned back around and concentrated on a tiny spot until he was sure they had gone. He used to think that Shane was pretty cool, but now he just thought Shane didn't have enough brains to count to three.
I have to forget about her. Especially since she's with someone else now. And she seems so happy too. This isn't right. It's not fair. Angrily, he kicked the wall with his foot, stubbing his toe. Wincing slightly, he hobbled across the road to join Sofia.
***
Lily couldn't help comparing Shane to James. She didn't want to, it just happened. And she was feeling horribly guilty for doing this to Shane, even though he didn't know.
She pushed open the door to the Three Broomsticks after Shane had already entered, an unwanted thought popping yet again into her mind. James would've opened the door for me. And of course, just like every other time, she told the voice to shut up.
Apart from the bickering with her head to shut up, she was having a great time with Shane. He was extremely nice to her and he made her feel good, because he was obviously interested in her. It had been a long time since she had gotten those vibes from anyone, actually it was hardly ever.
After both her and Shane were comfortably seated, an awkward conversation struck up. They talked about almost everything insignificant from the platform 9 3/4 to what they got for Christmas last year. And once again, the voice spoke up. Things were never this awkward with James.
Uugh! Just shut the hell up already! I don't want to hear it anymore. I know I would much rather be here with James, but I'm not, so give it a freakin' rest! And with that, she tuned out the voice from speaking up and forced herself to have a jolly good time.
***
It was a week later and Lily was sitting by herself in the library, trying her best to concentrate on her work. She was upset that no one remembered her birthday. Not even Sofia seemed to know anything about it.
Lily couldn't possibly hope for some sign from James since he was intent on avoiding her at all costs. Everytime she had come into sight of him, he had found an excuse to leave. She thought that with the amount of time he's been practicing quidditch, he was fit to join a world cup team.
Why did my closest friend drop me so suddenly? She asked herself. What did I do to deserve it? He doesn't seem to want to be my friend anymore. What did I do? She asked herself again. Maybe he's avoiding me because he knows I like him. I could just settle for James' friendship because I have a boyfriend now. I'm happy with Shane. He makes me feel good. Although his kisses don't have the same spark and chemistry as James' had. But there is still something in Shane's kisses. I know that. And he's great. I don't deserve a great guy like Shane. It's not fair to him that all I can think about is James.
But thinking about James always gave her a headache. She thought she had known him so well, but this past week has proven to her that she didn't know him at all.
She had even asked Sirius and Remus about it, but they acted just as baffled as she was. Sighing slightly, she collected her books and got up. It was pretty late in the night and she should get some sleep.
She stopped in front of the fat lady who was looking at her anxiously.
"Oh hello Lily." The fat lady said rather loudly, as if she was trying to broadcast the news of her arrival to everyone.
"Um. Hi." Lily answered, looking uncertainly at the fat lady while climbing through the portrait hole.
Lily looked around trying to adjust to the darkness and wondering why it was so dark.
Suddenly, all the lights turned on and everyone in Gryffindor imaginable jumped up with a "Surprise!" Lily gaped at the scenery and looked around the room, everything from the 'Happy birthday Lily' banner to the streamers that were singing 'Happy Birthday To You', which Sirius was trying in vain to curse.
"These things have been singing their heads off all night. Can't get them to shut up." Sirius told her after everyone had said their 'Happy birthday's'.
"What took you so long?" Remus asked her.
"Yeah, We thought we'd have to wait here all night." Peter added.
Lily was still speechless from the surprise and tears were starting to well up in her eyes at the generosity of her friends. She felt so lucky to have them.
"Hey Lily, don't cry." Sofia said putting her arm around Lily's shoulder. Lily laughed and hugged her.
"Thank you," she said softly, wanting this moment to last forever.
Shane came up to her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"How's my favourite birthday girl?" He asked her. She turned around in his arms and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
"Thank you." She repeated again, this time to Shane.
"Don't thank me. It was all Sofia's idea and work." He replied.
"It wasn't all me, although I do take a large chunk of the credit. James helped as well." Sofia told them.
Lily looked at her surprised. "Really? Where is he? I'd like to thank him."
"He's probably hiding somewhere." Sofia answered. "I know he's been really weird lately," she whispered in Lily's ear so Shane couldn't hear, "but I made him promise to show up for your party."
Lily smiled at her, trying to hide the hurt that James had to promise to show up for her birthday party.
A lot of other people, some Lily didn't even know, came up to her to talk and she was happy mingling with new people and making new friends, although James was still lingering in the back of her mind.
***
Sofia looked around the room for James, wanting to tell him off for hurting her best friend like that. He didn't even say 'happy birthday' to the poor girl!
She found him in her direct line of vision leaning against the wall in the shadow of the fireplace. She was about to march up to him angrily, but stopped short at the look on his face. It was one of such longing, Sofia had to stifle a gasp. It left no doubt in her mind the depth of his feelings.
And it was Lily he was staring at, his face utterly vulnerable, unaware that he had been caught.
But Lily was totally oblivious to him as she stood next to Shane, his arm around her waist possessively. Her face looked bright and happy as she laughed at something Shane had said.
To Sofia's immense relief, the expression on James' face was fleeting. In a flash it vanished, being replaced by a neutral expression.
Quickly, Sofia looked around to see if anyone else had caught the look. Sirius stood across the room looking at her aghast, anxiety apparent on his face.
She made her way towards him and pulled him into one of the dorms.
"You saw it then? The way James was gazing at Lily?" Sofia asked him.
"Yeah."
"But you knew before didn't you?"
Sirius nodded.
"Did he tell you?"
"Hell, no. He's too proud. He probably hasn't told anyone." He answered her.
Sofia shook her head sadly. "He's been distant and peculiar with her for some time now. Actually, he's dropped her like a ton of bricks. Obviously he can't bear to be around her. Especially since now she has a boyfriend. He's been jumping at any excuse to get away from her. Do you know why he hasn't said or done anything."
Sirius shrugged. "I think he might have. But he didn't want to tell her cause he's afraid of rejection."
"How can he be afraid of rejection? Every other girl would kill to just have one date with him!"
Sirius looked at her strangely. "You'd be surprised…"
***
Lily sank happy and tired onto her bed, glad that the party was finally over. Her friends hadn't forgotten her birthday after all.
The last thought she had before drifting off to sleep was that she had gotten a present from almost everyone. Almost everyone except for James Potter.
A/N. Ok, well um, I owe heaps to my beta reader Queen C. She's great. And thanks to you guys who reviewed.
Disclaimer: It basically all belongs to JK Rowling.
