Duo's POV

Duo's POV

The scene at the park upset me so much; I locked myself in my room for a week, only coming out when Wufei was at work. I guess I upset him too because I could hear him moving around the apartment, mumbling to himself. Occasionally he would stand outside my door pleading with me to come out, but his words fell on deaf ears.

He'd hurt me by his refusal to tell me how he felt and I wanted to hurt him back. I knew he was lying to me, I knew that he felt more than friendship for me. I didn't know if he loved me or simply lusted after me, but I knew he wanted more than friendship.

And I would have given it so willingly. I would have let him take me if it only meant he'd say he felt something more than friendship. But I didn't know how to tell him if he wouldn't listen when I told him I loved him.

And I did.

I knew he thought he was being cruel to be kind, but he wasn't. I'd given him all my emotion, all my trust, all my heart and he'd rejected it. I'd always thrown my whole heart into everything I did and loving him was no exception. And once I'd thrown my heart into something, I didn't know how to take it back.

One day he stood outside my door, calling, "Duo, please come out, you don't have to talk to me, I just want to make sure you're okay! Please!"

"But I'm not okay," I answered, my voice shaking. "I won't be okay for a long time."

"What! What's wrong?" He rattled my luck doorknob to no avail. "Duo!" his voice was panicked.

"Tell me how you feel," I pleaded.

"I told you! We're friends!"

"But you want more, don't you? You said you'd never lie, stop lying to me, to yourself! Tell me what you want!" I yelled.

"I want you to come out so I know you're not contemplating suicide!" Wufei yelled back.

"Wu," I asked, "Please…tell me…"

"No! I can't! I can't!" he yelled.

"Why?"

"Because then I'll be late for work!" He cried. A moment, later I heard the sound of the door slamming.

"Damn you," I sobbed. "Damn you to hell!" The tears wouldn't come, they never would, so I sat there in silence, thinking.

"You've finally come out?"

I looked up. I was sitting on the couch, fiddling with the radio. "Yes, I have." I glanced back down at the radio and changed the station.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You *know*." He knelt down beside me and grasped my hands. "For disappointing you."

"You never disappoint me," I answered, gazing down at him and wishing desperately I could see him.

"I did…I couldn't say I love you."

"Do you?" I whispered, my heart stopping. Let him say yes!

"Don't make me answer that," he whispered.

"Why?"

"It'll break your heart."

"Break…my…heart? Explain."

I could hear him walking around the room. "It won't today or tomorrow but eventually, it'd break you heart! It'd break your heart, it would kill me-dammit Duo don't make me do this!" he yelled suddenly, coming to a stop in front of me.

"Wufei?" I said, jumping to my feet. "Wufei, calm down!" I'd never seen him this worked up before…he was starting to scare me. "Wufei!"

"Forgive me," he whispered, grabbing me and pulling me to him.

"Wha-,"

The word never quite made it sway out as he pressed his lips to mine in a bruising kiss.

Wufei's POV

I didn't know why I was doing this. It was torture to me, to be kissing him and knowing I couldn't further it, that I would have to pretend it didn't happen.

Kissing him was far different from what I'd ever imagined. His lips were hesitant at first, and his body swayed until he was forced to grab onto me.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry," I whispered, lifting my lips from his and stepping away from him. "I shouldn't have."

He blinked at me, looking unsteady on his feet. Suddenly he reached forward and slapped me. "Damn you! You tell me you don't love me and then you kiss me like that? What the hell is wrong with you! Do you or don't you?"

I stared at him. His face was white and if his eyes hadn't been so badly scarred, I knew they'd be blazing furiously at me. "I don't!"

"Then what in God's name was that kiss for? You can't kiss someone like that and expect it to mean nothing!"

"Stop it!" I yelled.

"Stop *what*?"

"Stop making me love you, it hurts to much!" I yelled back. And then, shocked by what I'd blurted out, I fled the scene and locked myself in my room, feeling much like a child again. I could hear his soft sob of a breath as he passed my room on the way to his.

Wufei you crazy fuck, what were you doing? Why did you kiss him? Why'd you tell him that? I thought to myself, over and over again. I moaned softly and slid down on the bed until I was half-hanging off of it.

What the hell is wrong with me? How can one naïve kid do this to me?