Duo's POV

Duo's POV

I was embarrassed when I woke up. It was one thing to wake up in the middle of the night, frantic from a nightmare and seek comfort but in the morning when everything seemed to fall back into perspective…oh God, did I feel stupid.

Wufei was still asleep when I woke up. His arms were wrapped tightly around my body and I didn't have the heart to pull him off of me. I wanted to run, to jump out of bed and lock myself in my room…but there was more than Wufei's arms holding me to that bed…and I knew it.

He stirred and I held my breath. What if he gets mad? "Why are you all the way over there," he asked, drawing me closer. "You're too far away."

I smiled as he kissed my forehead, all feelings of embarrassment leaving me. He loves you, you crazy idiot. He doesn't care about the nightmares. But… "Wufei?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you-," I hesitated momentarily, "Does it bother you that I'm blind?"

"No! It doesn't matter to me whether you can see or not!"

"B-,"

"Don't," Wufei interrupted. "Don't start thinking doubts." We were silent for a moment and Wufei broke it by saying, "I'm going to look for a good school this weekend and enroll you by the end of next week."

"No," I whispered, my fingers clenching into fists. "No."

"Why?" he sounded surprised. "You said you wanted to learn to read and write and-,"

"NO!" I yelled. "I don't want to!" With that, I pushed him away and ran out of the room.

He followed me. "Why? Duo, answer me!" I shook my head and stormed into the living room. Wufei followed me, snapping irritably, "Dammit Duo, talk to me!"

"No! You don't understand Wufei, you don't understand a damned thing!" I yelled back, picking up a pillow and twisting it in my hands.

"Well, maybe I *would* if you'd just EXPLAIN something to me!" he yelled back.

"You'd never understand! You don't know me! You can't understand what you don't know!"

"Of course I know you! D'you think I fell in love with you just for your body?"

"Wufei, I don't *know* why you love me, all's I know s that I'm not going to school!" I yelled, dropping the pillow and clenching my fists.

"Duo!"

My name was all he said and I fell apart. The argument was forgotten, my anger and hurt vanished and I was in his arms.

"Wu," I whispered as his lips pressed along my face.

Our lips met for a long moment and then, suddenly he tore himself away from me. "No," he whispered. "Not like this."

"Not like what?" I asked, tentatively slipping my arms around his waist.

"Not as a way to stop an argument!" he said, trying to back out of my arms.

I didn't let go. "Am I repulsive to you?"

"No!"

"Than why not?"

"Oh God," he said helplessly as I hesitantly kissed him. "Why are you doing this?"

"I love you. Isn't that reason enough?"

"Damn you!" he said suddenly and picked me up.

"Wu?!" He didn't answer, only brushed his lips against mine.

The next thing I knew, he was setting me gently down on the bed. Finally! I couldn't help thinking, a bit triumphantly. "Are you going to make love to me?" I whispered-and, this is ridiculous after the months of trying-I was a bit fearful. I'd been taken in lust, rage and passion…but never love. Love…one small word that meant the world to me. Wufei loved me. I loved him. I was ready to give him the world.

"Yes," he answered, his lips moving swiftly over my hair, my face, down to my lips. "Duo, you've driven me crazy for months…you were always there, available and willing…but I wouldn't let myself think of it!"

"Wufei, nothing's stopping you now," I whispered. I was scared…I was afraid I wouldn't satisfy him, that my body wouldn't please him.

"I know," he whispered, his lips moving down my throat.

The next few moments passed in slow motion for me. If I could see, the dim haze of passion that surrounded us would have clouded my vision. His lips were on mine, all over my body as needless clothing was shed and dropped to the floor. Soft sounds of pleasure escaped my lips as his mouth and hands made their way down my body.

He stopped suddenly and kissed my navel. "You're an innie," he announced.

"And you're crazy," I responded.

"See, an innie! Your belly button goes in," he said, his tongue delving into the hollow slightly.

I jolted at the shock his tongue sent through me. How can he do this to me? He kissed me again and I laughed slightly as he kissed my abdomen.

Suddenly his fingers were probing into the most private parts of me and I became frightened. The harsh digits of Trowa replaced the gentle touch of Wufei's hand; the punishing lips of Trowa replaced his soft kiss. His breath, warm and soft on my neck was the moist, hot panting of Trowa; the soft sounds were the short guttural groans from Trowa.

I jerked away from him and cried out, "I wish Trowa had never done me over before!"

The words had the same effect as if I'd thrown a bucket of cold water on us. "Damn him!" Wufei yelled, jumping off the bed and rushing into the bathroom. A moment later I heard the pattering rhythm of water running.

I lay on the bed, trying my best to catch my breath. As my breathing slowed and the heat of my body cooled, I tried to think. Why had I done this? I knew exactly what would happen if I said those words, and yet I had said them. I sat up, taking deep shaky breaths as I pulled my clothes on. I knew in my heart, I could never accept Wufei as my lover. There was always going to be the pain and dirt Trowa had left on me and no matter what, it was always going to be his voice I heard, his body I would feel.

I lowered my head and ran my hands through my hair. Wufei is going to be pissed at me. I tried to shrink from view as I heard the door open and Wufei step into the bedroom. "Duo?"

"Wufei, I'm sorry, I wanted you, I did, but-," I couldn't explain, only babble incessantly.

Wufei shocked me by sweeping me into a powerful embrace. "Damn that bastard! Look what he's done to you! What they've both done!"

"You're not…you're not angry?" I asked in disbelief.

"No. Of course not," Wufei said, loosening his hold on me slightly. "I shouldn't have…you weren't ready." He lowered his head until it was resting on my shoulder. "Duo, I'm sorry."

"No, I wanted it just as much." He nodded against my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

After a long moment, he asked, "Why won't you go to school?"

"Don't go there!"

"Duo!"

"Wufei!"

Both of us glared at each other and it was impossible to have any more serious discussion that day.