Chapter 6 - …But It Pours.
Crichton made his way back to the sleeping chamber to talk
to Aeryn. He wasn't really that
surprised to find that she wasn't there.
On Moya he would have headed for the terrace, or maybe Pilot's den, but
he had no idea where to look for her here.
Everyone else appeared to be asleep, no doubt exhausted by
the last couple of days. He was tired
himself and he knew she had to be too.
It crossed his mind that perhaps now wasn't the best time to have it out
with Aeryn. Tiredness can make for
frayed tempers and that was the last thing this situation needed. On the other hand he didn't think he could
sleep until he had made things right with her.
Or at least tried. He stood
helplessly in the entrance to the chamber for a microt, trying to figure out the
best course of action. Now or later. Now or later…
"She went to sit at the cave mouth." D'Argo's low voice startled him.
Crichton picked his way across to the Luxan. "Where we came
in?"
"No." D'Argo
motioned towards the other tunnel. "That way."
"Thanks D." He went
to go, but turned back, a grimace on his face.
" Did you get a feel for how…"
D'Argo anticipated the question. "How would you feel if she
had shown such an obvious interest in someone else in front of you?" He looked at the human. "I do not understand you, John. I thought you loved her."
Crichton sighed softly. "I do, D'Argo. That's part of the problem." He began to move away, but D'Argo threw him
some blankets.
"You better take these."
The Luxan settled back down on his mattress. "It will be cold and you
have a lot of apologising to do."
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Crichton found her where D'Argo promised, inside the mouth
of the cave. She sat on a blanket,
hugging her knees and watching the rain.
"Hey."
She didn't turn.
"What do you want, Crichton?"
He shrugged. "I
wanted to talk to you. To see how you
are."
"I'm fine. Did you
enjoy your tour?"
"Aeryn…"
"It's fine, Crichton.
You've found someone else and it's fine." Her voice sounded flat.
"It's not fine."
He sighed. "Listen to me. I have acted like a jerk. But I haven't cheated on you. I wouldn't cheat on you. You should know that."
"Why not, John?
Because you feel guilty about what the clone did? Or because Zhaan sacrificed her life for us? Does that mean that you will remain by my
side whether it makes you happy or not?"
"No, Aeryn, that's not it."
He crouched down beside her.
"Things are so complicated with us right now, I sometimes find myself
wishing that things were simpler.
That's all." He sighed a little,
wishing she would turn round. " I do
feel guilty about my part in your death.
And I feel sick about Zhaan.
Partly because my friend is dying and I love her, but mostly because I
would rather she was dead than you. And
she knew that, Aeryn, and she brought you back. No matter how sad I am for Zhaan, I am happier that you are
alive. And I'm finding that difficult
to live with. And I'm reminded of that
almost every time I look at you."
His voice cracked
with emotion and he stopped for a microt to try and regain his composure.
" But it's not just that.
I don't understand why you won't act on your feelings for me,
Aeryn," she turned to look at him, as if to speak, but he held his hand up to
silence her " I'm sorry but I don't.
Your logic seems way off. But I
understand the grief and the guilt and I respect your decision. But it's hard, Aeryn. It's really hard being in this limbo. We're not friends; we're not lovers. What are we? I have no idea what you want from me." He had eye contact with her now. "But none of this affects how I actually
feel about you. I loved you before all
of this. I loved you when I went down
to the Gammak base to get that tissue sample, before I'd even heard of Scorpy,
before the chip was in my head. When you died, I wanted to die too. My feelings for you are constant,
Aeryn. Everything else is just
details. It's just…stuff."
She turned to look out at the rain again. "But the stuff, as you call it, keeps
getting in the way." She said softly.
"Yeah, it does. But
it won't always, baby. We'll figure it
out. We just gotta stick together and
focus on the bigger picture."
"Was that what you were doing when you were flirting with
Hailen? Focussing on your bigger
picture?"
"No, Aeryn. I lost
sight of it for a moment and acted like an idiot. But it won't happen again, baby.
I'll try harder. I swear I'll
try harder."
She seemed to think about that for a microt. "I'll try too." She said softly.
"I know you will, Aeryn."
She nodded, still
facing outwards. He followed her
example, looking out at the rain for a while.
Saying nothing. They heard a low
rumble above them.
Aeryn looked up at the black sky.
Crichton smiled. "It's…"
"Thunder. D'Argo told me."
Crichton felt oddly sad that he hadn't been the one to tell
her. "Have you seen the lightning yet?"
She nodded and as if on cue the sky lit up.
"I told Hailen…y'know…that I wasn't free…that I was
committed to someone else."
"What did she say when you told her about me?"
"She said that you didn't seem to like me much." He thought he saw her lip quirk as though
she were trying to suppress a smile.
"She was correct."
He seated himself on a blanket with his back against the
tunnel wall, facing her profile. "You
should get some sleep, Aeryn. You
didn't get much last night." She looked
at him quizzically. He shrugged. "I just happened to notice."
She shook her head "No. I want to stay here and watch the
lightning and the rain."
"Then come here, baby."
He leant forward so that his fingertips just reached her arm, coaxing
her to come closer. For several long microts he thought that she would remain
where she was, but she eventually relented. He patted the space between his
legs, but when she sat down with her back to him as had become customary for
them, he swung her around so that she was facing the cave mouth and the view
beyond, her side against his chest, her legs under one of his. He tucked her head under his chin and
brought his arms around her. "I'm
sorry, Aeryn." He felt her nod. They said nothing else until they both fell
asleep.
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Aeryn awoke slowly to the sound of familiar voices. She took a moment to remember where she
was. She was in Crichton's arms and
there appeared to be a discussion taking place around her.
Her first thought was embarrassment at having been caught in
Crichton's embrace. However there would
be little point in leaping out of his arms now. The damage had been done and some part of her knew that it would
hurt him to have her reject him like that.
Plus, if she was honest with herself, she did not really want to
move. She had just decided that it
would be best to feign sleep when something that Crichton said caught her
attention.
"No." Crichton was
saying. "We'll just have to find
another way."
"I agree." D'Argo
said firmly.
"There is no other way." Hailen said. "We have
to swim through the underwater tunnels."
"No." Crichton
repeated. He lowered his voice a
little; unaware that she was already awake. " Aeryn drowned two monens
ago. She can't swim and I'm not going
to put her in the position of having to go underwater through dark
tunnels. No."
"What are the alternatives?" Aeryn said suddenly, alerting them all to the fact that she was
awake. She shifted slightly so that she
could look up at Crichton.
"Hey." He smiled
down at her, but she though it looked strained. " We're still working them out."
Crichton loosened his arms about her.
She sat up and shifted around to face the others but remained in the
space between his legs, not touching but definitely still intimate. "There
don't seem to be too many though."
"There are no alternatives." Hailen explained patiently. "She must go with the rest of us, or stay
here and die when the waters rise."
"Not acceptable."
Crichton repeated.
"If she stays, we all stay." D'Argo added.
"Why can't two go and get the transports and come back for
the rest of us?" Aeryn suggested.
"No flat, clear land. We can't land them anywhere on the
island." Crichton explained. "And we
can't pick people up without landing because…"
"Because of the heat generated directly below when
transports hover." She finished for
him.
He nodded. "Yeah."
He rubbed his bottom lip, looking at her ruefully. "And my module
doesn't hover.
"You can go back to Moya and find somewhere to buy another craft
that could hover. Then you could come
back and get me."
Crichton rubbed his eyes with one hand. "We thought of that, but even if we got
another ship" he looked at her " you're the only one of us with the skill to
pull a manoeuvre like that off."
"You could do it, Crichton…"
He shook his head sadly.
"No, I couldn't. I'm just not
that good. Believe me, if I thought I
stood a chance in hell, I'd try."
Aeryn something cold settle in her stomach. "Well…then…I'll just have to go through the
tunnel with everyone else." She felt
Crichton's hand settle on the small of her back, where no one could see, and
rub her skin softly.
"Are you sure?" He
asked her gently.
"I don't see that there is any alternative. Am I the only one that cannot swim?"
"No." D'Argo shook
his head. "There's Jothee, but Luxans
can survive for around a quarter arn without air and I'm hoping that he has
inherited that from me. And he hasn't
had your recent…experiences. He will go
through with Chiana and me. I am confidant
that he will make it safely."
"You can go through with me." Crichton offered. "I can
tie you to me so we can't get separated.
It'll be easy. Like fallin' of a
log!"
Aeryn could tell by the tone of his voice that that was
meant to be comforting to her, so she nodded.
"How far is it?"
Hailen answered the question as if Crichton had asked it.
"Nearly 1000 metras." She smiled at him.
Aeryn tried not to register her fear on her face. "With air
tanks?" She said hopefully.
Hailen almost rolled her eyes. "No. But there are air pockets on the way." She
looked at Crichton "It is really very simple.
Nothing to be worried about. I
have been swimming through that same tunnel since I was five cycles old."
Aeryn frowned. "You're going to take the children through
there as well?"
"Yes." Hailen
explained. "We will put the smallest children in watertight cribs with a small
air supply, but the rest are well used to swimming underwater. You must remember that this is our only way of
reaching the other islands." She
flashed Crichton a brilliant smile. "I
am sure that Crichton is an excellent swimmer and if you follow him there will
be no difficulties."
Aeryn had to stifle the petty urge to lie back in Crichton's
arms to show Hailen that her continued attempts to win Crichton's favour were
failing. Crichton must have been
thinking the same thing because he brought his hand up to her shoulder and
stroked her neck with his thumb while his chin rested on her other shoulder.
"I don't know about excellent, but I was pretty good back in
High School. I'll stick with you the
whole way. I won't let anything happen
to you." Aeryn found his words, and his
proximity, comforting.
"Do you think that you will be able to make it, Aeryn?" Hailen asked her, concerned.
She nodded firmly. "Yes.
When do we leave?"
"Now. I will go and
tell my father that you are ready."
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To Be Continued.