"In closing, the court can see that Seifer Almasy has proven himself a significant detriment to the well-being of Balamb Garden. The court should deal with him in a swift and decisive manner, applying the harshest penalties possible."
Beckett collected his notes and walked away from the podium, offering a smug glance to Seifer as he passed.
Although he would not have guessed it at the time, Xu's opening remarks proved to be the least painful part of the trial. Beckett spent three days presenting his case. Three days covering a period of Seifer's life that he would have preferred never to revisit. Mercifully, in an effort to streamline the trial, Cid decreed that no witnesses would take the stand. Beckett simply quoted from the depositions he had on file.
"Thank you, Lieutenant," Cid's voice filled the silence of the room as he addressed the assemblage. "Having heard all the evidence, I'm ready to take this matter under advisement. I thank you all for your attention, and I expect to render a verdict by the end of the week."
"What?" Seifer spat out the word without realizing he'd spoken. He looked at Squall in disbelief, and then back to Cid.
"Yes, Seifer?" the Headmaster asked, taking off his glasses. "Is there a problem?"
"Do I get any kind of defense?"
"I remind you, Seifer, that this is not a court of law. This is a disciplinary hearing, and operates under its own set of rules. One would think you'd know that by now."
"So you'll just pass..." Seifer could feel his blood boiling and his voice raising.
"Seifer, let me warn you that you aren't helping your case."
"This isn't a trial! You're just providing justification for whatever you want to do to me!"
"Seifer, I suggest you lower your voice."
"Sir," a voice shot out from the side. Seifer turned his head in time to see Squall stand up, hands clasped behind his back. "Given the gravity of..."
"You're out of line, Squall. Sit down at once." Cid punctuated his order by stabbing the air with a finger.
"No, sir," Squall replied. "I think that..." Squall's voice halted suddenly. His lips kept moving but he produced no sound. His head whipped around, trying to find the source of the spell. He followed Cid's gaze, which focused on the back of the room, in the gallery.
Edea stood there, coolly regarding Cid, an outstretched finger pointed at Squall. She simply watched Cid for a moment, before titling her head slightly and raising an eyebrow. This done, she sat back down, without saying a word. No one could tell if she and Cid communicated telepathically, or if they simply knew each other's thoughts from years of marriage. Whatever the case, her actions clearly affected Cid.
"Very well, Seifer," he said. "You may speak in your own defense. I'll consider any evidence you present with the same weight I afford the prosecution's case. I trust you find that sufficiently fair."
"Yes, sir," Seifer replied, restoring a measure of civility to his voice. He stood up slowly and buttoned his jacket, passing his fingers over the cruciform swords for luck. He bowed his head for a moment, both hands on the back of his chair while he composed himself. He took a long look around the courtroom, making eye contact with those people he considered friends, or whom he'd called friends back at the orphanage - his "old life."
"You might not know this, but after the Time Compression, I entered a... waking coma, of sorts. Thanks to Laguna Loire, President of Esthar, I managed to fight my way out of Ultimecia's grasp, as she made one last bid to control me. This event opened my eyes. I began to see things more clearly than I ever had before. So I know now what I have to say.
"I don't know if there are any words that can exonerate me. You've heard the charges, you've heard about my record here at Garden. And I can't deny any of it. Everything you've heard over the last few days is true. When I was a student here, I undermined authority wherever I could. I repeatedly defied orders, substituting my own judgment for the judgment of my superiors."
Seifer walked away from his table, moving into the center of the courtroom. He could feel Cid's eyes burning into his back. When he spoke, his voice encompassed the vast room, without the use of a microphone.
"What's more, I betrayed this Garden. It's the only place I could truly call 'home,' and I repaid it with violence and bloodshed. I endangered Garden and compromised a mission by assaulting President Deling. I led an assault on this Garden, an assault which cost the lives of people I've known since I was a child."
By this point, Seifer had found his rhythm. The words came quickly and easily to him, without effort. He didn't know if the people believed his sincerity, but he felt a calm wash over him as he gave his confession.
"It would be easy for me to stand here and say that I committed these acts because I was under Ultimecia's sway. Ultimecia makes an easy scapegoat. By this point, she hardly seems human. She's achieved a mythical quality - an alien entity bent on undoing reality as we know it. She manipulated everyone, and she did so from a point countless years in the future. Yes, it's tempting to blame her.
"However, that would only be a partial truth. She did use magic to influence me. But that influence extended only as far as bringing me into her service. Once I devoted myself to her, she showed me the abyss, and I flung myself into it wholeheartedly. I take full responsibility for all the acts that followed.
"I am, perhaps, responsible for more deaths than anyone since the Sorceress Wars. My hands are stained with blood. The blood of all those who perished in the Garden Wars. The blood of the citizens of Esthar, slaughtered during the Lunar Cry. The blood of those at Trabia Garden, eradicated in a missile attack I ordered. This Garden would have been destroyed in a similar attack, if not for the skills and ingenuity of Selphie and Squall. You owe your lives to them, and I hope they're proud of their actions. They saved you from me.
"I take responsibility for all these acts. I wish I could find the words to express the profound regret I feel. I know that no words, though, can ever assuage the grief I've caused. The only thing I can do, now, is to offer myself to the justice of this court. First, though, I need to address the people that I've wronged - at least, those who are still alive.
"Headmaster Kramer, I'm sorry for all the times I defied you. Your wisdom and vision have made this Garden everything it is. This school trains the strongest soldiers in the world. It's served as a home for countless students, even those who could never afford to study here. I know, because I'm one of them. You took me from the orphanage and, seeing potential, let me stay here without cost. Despite my atrocious behavior, you kept me here, hoping that one day I'd come around. You probably thought I ignored you when you lectured me. I didn't. I heard every word you said, and now I appreciate all you've done for me. I'm just sorry it happened too late.
"Matron, I'm sorry to have strayed so far from everything you tried to teach me. At the orphanage, you raised us to be honorable, kind, and willing to stick together in a crisis. At the first sign of pressure, I bolted, running to pursue my dream, never knowing that everything I wanted was here. You know what my dream is, Matron, and you know why I succumbed to Ultimecia's will. I hope you know that you never failed as a surrogate mother. Even though I went astray, you can look around the room and see the overwhelming evidence of your success. Squall's courage. Selphie's warmth. Quistis' - and I wish she were here - wisdom. Irvine's cheer. Zell's loyalty. You can look in their eyes and see that your lessons did not go unheeded.
"I have to apologize to everyone I bullied. There are a lot of you out of there. I'm sorry I made your lives so much worse. I know this isn't any consolation, but I hope you'll know that my apology is heartfelt, and I hope that some day, you'll forget what I did. That's what I wish. That you will not forgive, but forget. I don't deserve forgiveness. It's far more fitting that I recede into the distant past. If GFs truly cause memory loss, I hope I am one such memory.
"I apologize to Squall. The words don't exist to convey my apology to him. But he knows what I mean. Squall is the closest thing I will ever have to a brother. There's a bond between us, something I can't define. I've only run one mission with him - the field exam in Dollet -- but there's no one I would sooner choose to watch my back.
"I apologize to Quistis. Even though she isn't here, I want to make my peace with her. She was a good instructor - one of the best. No one can dispute her ability as a warrior. Moreover, she was a good friend. I always thought she was bossy, and that she was an obnoxious meddler. I see now that she was a friend. Concerned for my well-being. She tried to help me, and every time, I pushed her away.
"Finally, I apologize to Zell." Seifer turned his eyes to Zell, making eye contact. Zell looked back at Seifer, tempted to turn away, but something prevented him from doing so. "I tormented him more than I tormented anyone else. Any thing I could do to embarrass, insult, or humiliate him, I did. I pummeled him physically and assaulted him psychologically. Nothing I can ever say can justify my actions towards him. However, after much self-examination, I know why I did so. I won't explain it here, but if you ever wish to know the reason, Zell, and I'm alive to talk, I'll tell you, and you can be rid of me.
"I don't have much left to say. I've said my apologies. I know they can never heal the wounds I've caused, but I hope they're a start."
Silence engulfed the courtroom as Seifer resumed his seat. No one dared breath, waiting for Cid to make the first move.
"Thank you, Seifer." Cid spoke into the microphone, his voice sounding mechanical compared to Seifer's unamplified speech. "If no one else has anything to add, I think I'm prepared to deliberate."
"Wait." Squall's voice tore through the air like a gunshot.
"Yes, Squall?" Cid's face mouth twisted into a smile of disbelief.
"I want to render the verdict."
"What?" Cid's smile widened. "Are you serious?"
"I am, sir." Squall replied. "I'm entitled to render the verdict."
"Entitled? You're entitled? Convince me." Cid sat back in his chair, folding his hands over his stomach.
For perhaps the first moment since Seifer's arrival at Garden, he and Cid finally saw eye-to-eye on something: that Squall, for whatever reason, had finally cracked.
"I'm entitled to make this decision because Seifer has, contrary to his testimony, wronged me more than anyone else."
The lead weight in Seifer's stomach returned, and this time, it brought a friend, a hollow reverberation that he could only interpret as the sound of Squall hammering the first nail into Seifer's coffin.
