The midday sun crept slowly into the Quad, the sun shining down on the tranquility of the forested park. Seifer sat on one of the benches, listening to the water as it moved in its beautifully crafted streams. He glanced around him, a motion that had become habitual during the three days since his trial. Most people simply ignored him, but a few stared at him as he passed. So far, though, no one had voiced an open objection to his presence.

Zell came loping down the steps, crossing over to Seifer, who stood as the uniformed man approached. Seifer took a long look at the medals adorning Zell's jacket and whistled admiringly.

"Yeah," Zell said, "they gave all of us a bunch of medals when we got back from fighting Ultimecia. You should see Squall's collection."

"I did, Zell. He was in uniform at the trial." Zell titled his head back and laughed.

"Oh, that wasn't Squall's collection. He refuses to wear all of them at once. He says that all the jingling pisses him off."

"And what's this?" Seifer asked, noting a gold-and-silver SeeD emblem. "They made you an instructor?"

"Hell, yeah!" Zell exclaimed. "My kickboxing class just got out. Being an instructor is great!"

"What about this one?" Seifer inquired, thumbing a small silver coyote. "I don't recognize it."

"Oh, Ma went to a craft show in Dollet, and she knows I like coyotes, so she got that for me. She gets a big kick out of me wearing it on my uniform."

"Ever the dutiful son." Admiration filled his voice, whereas the old Seifer would have followed the comment by ripping the pin off Zell's jacket and throwing it in the stream. "Anyway, you didn't come here so I could indulge my fixation for shiny objects." Seifer gestured for Zell to sit at one of the benches. Zell promptly sat cross-legged on the ground.

Seifer turned away from Zell and retreated to within himself, trying in vain to find the right words. A vague buzzing sound took up residence in Seifer's skull, distracting him from his thoughts. He turned back and started to speak, avoiding Zell's gaze as he did so. He stared beyond Zell, his eyes fixed at some unknown point on the horizon.

"When I came out of my... fugue, it was as if a veil lifted. I was able to see things I'd never noticed before. I was suddenly able to see things about myself that I'd never noticed before... to ask questions I'd never thought of asking. Like why I'd always picked on you."

The buzzing sound in Seifer's head increased, drowning out the sound of his voice. He stopped speaking and put a hand to his forehead.

"What's wrong?" Zell jumped to his feet and extended a hand to help stabilize Seifer. As Zell's hand touched Seifer's arm, a vision entered Seifer's head.

A wolf, feral and magnificent, running through a forest. Blood and terror filled the air, their fragrance a heady mixture that made his senses whirl. A single word slammed into Seifer with the force of a bullet: Alpha. Then, as quickly as it came, the vision fled, and Seifer found himself back in the Quad, with Zell helping him to one of the benches.

"Are you okay?" Zell asked. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Seifer answered. "I just... went away."

"Do you need to go to the Infirmary? Because I can go get Dr. Kadowaki..."

"Trust me, Zell, I'm fine," Seifer said, smiling a little. "Let me say what I need to and then let's worry about my health." Zell sat back down and nodded for Seifer to continue.

"Okay," Seifer said, hating the need to start over. "Have you ever noticed how a person can seem one way, and maybe, right then, they really are that way? That quality then becomes the standard by which you define the person, right? And then, something happens, and the person becomes an entirely different person, and you have to completely redefine who they are and what they mean to you. Do you see what I mean?"

Zell, sitting there with his mouth open, shook his head. "Not at all."

"Like Squall. I mean, I know I wasn't around when it all went down, but the difference was obvious. He was always... you know... Squall. We could count on him to be... Squall-ish."

"If I may," Zell interjected, eyes glittering, "you could say he was squalid. That he lived in squalor."

Seifer shook his head at Zell's lame attempt at humor. "Moving on. Anyway, we could always count on him to act in a certain way. And then he met Rinoa and he wasn't Squall any more. He was like, well... like Squall with a girlfriend. All of a sudden, he's doing the protective boyfriend routine, what with the springing to the rescue and all. And he's not the Squall we grew up with. So we have to take this new Squall, and figure out how he fits in with what we know about old Squall. Does that make any sense?"

"So... you picked on me because Squall didn't have a girlfriend?"

Seifer sighed again and tried a different approach. "What if a person had always thought of himself one way, but only because he'd never stopped to think if there was another way? Like if you spent all of your life walking down one road, but only because you never looked left or right to see if there's another road?"

Zell sat there in silence as Seifer's words sunk in. His eyes grew wide in amazement. "You're talking about being gay, aren't you?"

"Yes," Seifer said, relieved at last. "I am."

"Squall's gay!?" Zell practically screamed these last two words. Seifer dove forward, trying to clap his hand over Zell's mouth, but he couldn't move quickly enough. The words had already escaped.

"Good God, Zell," Seifer said, rolling his eyes. "I don't think the people in Esthar heard you. No, I'm not talking about Squall." Seifer took a deep breath and went the direct route. "I'm talking about me, Zell. I'm talking... about me."

Zell nodded softly. "I see. So you were a bully because..."

"Yeah," Seifer responded, his voice little more than a whisper. "Call it compensating. And I picked on you because..."

"Because you couldn't tell me how you really felt."

Seifer nodded slowly. "Yeah."

A long silence filled the air. Time slowed to a crawl for Seifer. Just as he couldn't bring himself to look at Zell, he couldn't bear to look away. He leaned forward in his seat, bending over and putting his face in his hands. He felt broken inside, knowing that in his carelessness, he'd damaged the person who really mattered to him. He heard Zell stand up, and waited to hear his footsteps retreating into the distance. Instead, he suddenly found Zell next to him, sitting down and placing a hand on Seifer's back.

"You know," Zell said "you do a pretty credible imitation of Squall."

Seifer laughed despite himself, amazed at the sheer incongruity of Zell's remark. Soon, both men found themselves roaring uproariously, laughter feeding off laughter, drawing stares from other people in the Quad.

A pair of cadets passed by, looking scornfully at the hysterical duo. They fixed Seifer with a harsh glare, cramming as much disinterested malice as possible into their thirteen-year-old faces. Seifer glared right back, barely containing his mirth. He fired directly into their midst, offering up a hearty "Whatever." This set the men laughing again.

By the time their laughter subsided, thoughts of loss and rejection had departed Seifer's mind. He wiped a tear out of his eye, glancing over at Zell. Seifer barely had time to blink before he felt Zell's lips pressed up against his, one of Zell's hands in Seifer's hair. The spontaneity of the act startled him, and he barely had the presence of mind to kiss back.

They held for a moment and Zell broke away. "Whaddya think?" Zell asked. "Did it feel okay to you?"

"Okay," Seifer responded, somewhat lost for words. "Definitely okay."

"I concur," Zell said, nodding his head sharply and grinning one of his lopsided grins.

"But Zell, are you...?"

"I don't know," Zell replied. "I mean, I've sort of wondered before. Because, you know, there were all those rumors about me and Squall..."

"Yeah," Seifer broke out grinning at that. "I remember starting those."

"And sometime when I'm wearing my Ergheiz gloves, remind me to thank you for that. Do you remember Callo?"

"She was on the Library Committee, right? Pony-tail, used to follow you around all the time?"

"That's her. Well, we dated for a while, and there was never really anything there. It was cool and all that she had such a thing for me, but I think that was the only reason I was into her."

"So... what about me? Why did you just kiss me?"

Zell shrugged. "I wanted to know what it would be like. And it wasn't all that bad."

"Does that mean...?" Seifer found it impossible to disguise the note of hope in his voice.

"I'm willing to see what happens," Zell said, shrugging amicably. "I mean, the idea doesn't upset me or anything, so maybe it'll lead somewhere."

Seifer shook his head in disbelief, thrilled at this sudden development. Zell simply grinned, until the alarm on his watch sounded. His face lit up with all the glee of a child opening birthday presents.

"Come on!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet and pulling Seifer with him. "We gotta get to the cafeteria! Do you know what they're serving today?"

Seifer nodded, realizing that, if they maintained a relationship, this would quickly become its leitmotif. "Hot dogs?" he said, knowing the answer even as he spoke.

"Yeah! Last time I was first in line, and I scored a huge pile of them. Rosa - one of the workers there - knows Ma, so she always gives me extra."

Seifer pulled Zell close to him, kissing him softly on the lips. "Your life is a never-ending quest for hotdogs, Chicken-Wuss, and yet they let you train the next generation of SeeDs. Heaven help us all."


The camera mounted in the Quad captured the entire interchange between Seifer and Zell. It didn't pick up the sound, but he didn't need the audio feed to know what happened. Mentally, he added Zell to his list. When he broke Seifer, he'd also have to break Zell. Not something he'd counted on doing, but a necessity nevertheless. He certainly hadn't counted on Squall's intervention. That act, the man decided, earned Squall a particularly nasty fate. He had yet to decide the nature of the punishment, but knew that he wanted it to be something lingering.

The cigarette between his fingers burned an angry hole in the air. He placed it between his lips, inhaling deeply. Flipping off the monitor, he folded his coat over his arm and left the office.

She waited for him in the lobby, a raven-haired beauty with flawless alabaster skin. He felt the crackle of magic that always surrounded her, part of her inheritance as a Sorceress.

"Darling," he said, bowing slightly, "how are you today?"

She pouted slightly, casually outstretching a hand, the cigarette flew from between his lips. It landed in her hand and immediately turned to ice. He watched it tumble to the ground and shatter into countless pieces.

"I thought you were going to quit smoking," she said, her voice filled with equal parts annoyance and amusement.

"I know, I know," he replied, ushering her towards the elevator. They stepped on board and he pressed the button for the ground floor, watching Balamb Garden beneath him. "I've been promising that since our wedding day."

FIN.

Author's Notes

This story is actually the first in a trilogy I'm writing. I'd already started writing another fic when I felt the need to set up some backstory and, lo, this fic was born. The real plot twists are yet to come, so check out "Pity the Child."

"Figlio Perduto," if you were wondering, means "lost son." I hijacked the title from the Sarah Brightman song of the same name.

Standard disclaimer stuff: I make no claims to inventing any of these characters, their world, or anything else. I'm not challenging the copyrights in any way whatsoever, nor am I making any money off of this. If you feel the need to sue me, wait two-and-a-half years. I'll have graduated law school by then, and will be a little better prepared.

This story is dedicated to Scarlet, without whom I never would have started writing fanfics. Without her prodding, I'd still be stuck on chapter three or four.

Special thanks go out to Jeanna and Scarlet, the best beta readers you could ever want.

Thanks to everyone who's offered up comments and criticism, or stopped by and left a review. This includes all the readers here at as well as the kind folks on the RPGFFML.

I hope you've enjoyed reading this story, since I've certainly enjoyed writing it.

GG