Heartstrings
Heartstrings

By Risa

Disclaimer: Angel and Buffy are property of the Joss Whedon etc. Death and the Endless belong to Neil Gaiman. Death appears in the comics The Sandman, Death: The High Cost of Living and Death: The Time of Your Life. I'm just borrowing them for the purpose of this short fic.

Spoilers: Hmm…basically just Season 4. I wrote this long before I found out what happened in Season 5.

Note: When I wrote this story, I did it without double-checking the plots of Season 3 and 4 and sort of got everything mixed up (I really shouldn't have, I know). I know I've made mistakes and I've tried correcting them, but it changed the whole tone of this story, so I've left it as it is. Just take this story as something like an alternate reality thing… It's the first fic I've written, so be nice!

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"I know you're there," he said.

The man appeared to be alone in the room. It was late in the night and what little light in the gloomy hospital room came from the dim bedside lamp. It was quiet, although the silence was frequently punctuated by the beeps of the machine, as if trying to draw attention to the young woman on the bed.

Her face was pale and covered with bruises and cuts. Her head was bandaged. Her neck was held in a cast. She appeared not more than twenty. The man tightly held one of her hands.

The man's face was extremely pale, his hair dark and dishevelled. He was dressed in a simple white shirt, black pants and a black jacket tossed over it.

"Just show yourself," the man said again, to what appeared to be empty air.

A young woman appeared in the room out of nowhere. Her face was extremely pale, more so than the man's, almost white. Her hair was black, long and slightly wavy. She was dressed in black jeans and a spaghetti-strapped black top. A silver ankh hung from her neck. Her eyes showed wisdom far beyond her years and compassion.

"Very astute, Angelus," she said, smiling slightly.

"Who are you?" he said warily, standing up and taking a protective stance over the girl on the bed. If she was a vampire… But there was something familiar about her. Angel felt a strong - albeit strange - feeling that he ought to know who she was.

"Odd that you don't recognise me, I've come for you twice already. But then, most of you rarely remember," she said. "I'm Death."

A part of Angel was sceptical. How could she be Death? He would recognise her, certainly. After all, he had been associated with death for the better part of his long life. But another part of him knew that she would not lie to him. Come to think of it, he would be considered a myth in most circles.

Then he started to panic. Buffy. "You've come for her?"

She tilted her head slightly. "Yes and no. It's almost her time, but not quite yet. I decided to come early to see you."

"You mean she's – "

"Going to die." Death said. "Yes."

Angel sat down heavily. He knew that she would probably not have much chance of living. She was so badly injured from the last demon she had fought. But a part of him still obstinately clung on to a desperate hope that she might live.

"Why? Why did you want to see me?" he said.

Death smiled and said. "I've been meaning to see you for a long time. My brothers and sisters have told me about you, about how you've been to all of their realms at some time or other. But I was always too busy."

"Brothers and sisters?" Angel asked.

"Yes. I'm of the Endless – there are seven of us. Destiny, Dream, Destruction, Desire, Despair, Delirium and myself. You're one of the few who've been to all of us at some time or other. I was there when you first died, and again when you lost your soul. And I've been there every time you killed someone. So I understand, Angel, what you've done and what you feel guilty for."

"What about Buffy? Why does she have to die now?" Angel asked, demanding answers.

Death walked slowly forward. She bent her head over the vase of flowers left by Buffy's visitors. "I love flowers. They are beautiful things, so wonderfully alive."

Then she turned to Angel. "It is just time for her to do so."

"I'm not going to let you take her away from me," Angel said harshly. He would do everything in his power to prevent Death from taking her.

"Could you stop me?" Death asked simply.

Angel was silent.

Death sat delicately on the edge of the hospital bed. "You love her a lot, don't you?"

Angel sighed and nodded. "I came here in the middle of night. Even sneaked through the window," he laughed then, a short, sad laugh. "She's seeing someone else, you know."

"Who?"

"This guy from her university – Riley. It wasn't easy, to see her with someone else. I thought that I was able to put her out of mind. Then I heard the news – she had been severely injured. She managed to kill the demon – she always does – but it was worse this time. Then I knew. I hadn't really forgotten her. You don't get over love like that that easily."

"You shouldn't," Death said. "The past two days must have been horrible."

Angel shook his head. "In a way. Seeing her lying there, feeling helpless. And knowing that even if she did get better, I can only sneak back out of her life. I also knew that this would happen. I have been here for no short period of time," he smiled slightly, "and I knew the risks that came with her job."

"She was strong though," Death said.

He nodded. "So why do you have to take her now?" he asked with a hint of desperation.

"Because it is her time," Death reminded gently.

"But there's so many things I have not said – have not done…"

"That's what you all say," Death said. "That's what I don't get sometimes. If you love someone, show it. That would save you so much regrets. And you did have your chance."

"She asked me to leave – "

"So you just did that? I understand that you wanted to respect her wishes, but if you love her as much as you seem to, why couldn't you have stayed behind and tried to change her mind? If you tried but still failed, then you would have nothing to regret. Obviously you didn't try hard enough," Death said.

"But I wanted her to have a normal life. We would never have happiness together, there's too much baggage between us. Because of what I am…I can never give her the happiness that she deserves. It wasn't easy for me either, to see her with other people, wanting to be by her side yet never be able to do so," Angel protested.

Death shook her head. "You're a lot like my little brother. Obstinate, both of you."

She paused then continued. "Excuses, most of it. Both of you are afraid of what you have and you're not willing to accept or deal with the consequences that come from it. Love is something special, something to treasure. I've met some people who've done some crazy things for love. But love is something strange, almost like life. You have to accept the good and the bad that come along with it. You try to find solutions for the bad, which serves to make your love sweeter when you succeed. That is real love. That was something both of you had an opportunity to have."

"All right," Angel sighed. "Yes, there was so much more I could have done. But I don't have the mood to deal with that now. What would it take for you to let her stay alive?"

Death glanced at Angel. "What you're asking is very serious. What can you offer in return?"

"My life."

She shook her head. "That I already knew. And it is nothing new. Many have offered their lives in exchange for another's. Why should I take yours?"

"Because it is all I have that is of value. All that is really my own. I would give you anything so that she would be able to live. To carry on the good she has done, to love and be loved. You said that love was special to you. I don't think you want to take away her chance so easily."

Death laughed. "Well done, Angel, well done. To use my own argument against me. I shall grant you a boon then, as I have done once before. [1] I won't come for her now or anytime soon. But when I come for her again, there will be no more bargains. And another condition – you are going to try your damnedest to make your relationship work. I wouldn't have you giving up and moaning and groaning about what you did not do when I come back again." Then she disappeared.

Angel looked back at the sleeping Buffy, taking up her hand once more and staring at the beloved face. Then he got up and fingered the flowers on the table. "They are rather beautiful," he smiled.

He knew what he had to do. He knew that it was not going to be easy – they had too much to work through. But he had to try; he owed Death that much.

Footnotes:

[1] This was to Hob Gadling, in the 14th Century.  Death was observing tavern life when she noticed Hob Gadling, who was a soldier then. He boasted that his stubborn refusal to die would keep him alive forever. Amused, Death granted him immortality.