Voldemort Takes Over the World
[MeatLoaf's Note: There are supposed to be spelling mistakes in here because in my personal opinion, spelling mistakes are funny. So don't flame me for the spelling or grammar mistakes.]
One day, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore were watching TV in the staff room.
"I love you, you love me," said Barney on the TV, "We're a happy family!"
Then an announcer came on the TV and said: "Our regularly scheduled program has been canceled so we can show you this very important news thing."
"What!" said Snape, "Kiwi Fruit! Me want 2 watch Barney!"
Then Snape looked back at the TV and saw a man with long black hair standing in front of a big, important-looking buildng. The man said: "Yo! We are now going to pick a new president of the world. Here are your candidates: Lord Vold-I mean, You-know-who, The Brain, Bill Gates, Al Gore and some guy named Captain Nemo."
"Dude!" said Professor McGonagall, "I want to vote for the bag of Doritos!"
"Hey!" said Dumbledore, "Their ain't no bag a Doritos running fer prezidunt of da world!"
"Yes there is and he's dangerously cheesy!" said McGonagall.
"That don't make no cents!" said Dumbledore, "Doritos ain't dangerously cheesy, Fritos are!"
"Kiwi Fruit! You is both rong! Cheese is dangerously cheesy!"
"HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!" said Dumbledore! "That ain't possible b/c cheese ain't cheesy! C'mon, it's cheese fir crying out loud!"
"HaHaHaHa!" said McGonagall, "That is the stupidest thing I ever herd! What was u thinking? ...Cheese...cheesy...thats stupid."
Now they watched the TV again and the man on the TV screen said: "Now the presidential candidates will give their speeches. First up is You-Know-Who."
"Hello everybody! You should vote for me because if you don't, I'll come to your house and kill you!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Vote for me." Said Voldemort.
"He said the name!" cried Snape.
"Big stinkin' deel." Said Dumbledore.
"Now the Brain will give his speech." Said the guy on TV.
Pinky and the Brain walk onto the stage.
"Greetings citizens of Earth." Said Brain.
"If you elect him," said Pinky, "He'll be the president of the World! Narf."
"Go away Pinky, I'm trying to give a speech!" said the Brain.
"Point! I thought you wanted me to help you. Zoink!" said Pinky.
"Very well. If you want to help, you can go to Chick-fil-A and get me a 12-piece chicken nugget combo." Said the Brain.
"Ok!" said Pinky, "Narf!"
Pinky walks to Chick-fil-A.
"If you elect me," said The Brain, "I will tell everyone to jump of a cliff. All the people who are smart enough to stay in their homes will help me build a space-ship and we will fly off into space and explore new planets."
Then the Brain walks away.
"Me think mouse was confusing." Said Dumbledore.
"Me 2." Said Snape "Me no vote 4 him."
"Now Bill Gates will give his speech."
Bill Gates walks onto the stage.
"Hello Everybody!" said Bill Gates.
"Hello Bill Gates!" said Everybody in the World.
"You should vote for me because I have a lot of money. And I own the Windows company thing, I think.
"Wow! A window!" said McGonagall in amazement.
"Me wishing there was a window hear." Said Dumbledore.
"Me 2." Said Snape.
"Now Al gore will give his speech."
"Hi! I'm Al Gore! Vote for me because I want to rule the world and it's the right thing to do." said Al Gore.
"Now that Captain Nemo guy will give his speech.
"Hello! I'm Captain Nemo! I have a giant submarine! It's really big and I call it the Nautilus! You should vote for me because I have a submarine!"
Then Captain Nemo walked stupidly off the stage singing "WE ALL LIVE ON A YELLOW SUBMARINE!!! A YELLOW SUBMARINE!! As loud as he could ands then runs into a wall.
"Riiiiight..."said the Guy on TV "Now it's time for you to cast your vote. If you want to vote, pick up your phone now."
"Me want 2 vote! Me pick up fone!" said Professor McGonagall.
Then Professor McGonagall picked up the phone.
"If you want to vote for Lord Voldemort-
"Aaahhhh!" said Professor McGonagall.
"press 1...now. If you want to vote for the Brain, press 2...now
"Ooohhh, the confusing mouse." Said Professor McGonagall.
"If you want to vote for Bill Gates-
"The window guy!"
"press 3...now. If you want to vote for Al Gore, press 4...now. If you want to vote for Captain Nemo, press 5...now. We will be back with the results in five minutes."
"...What about the bag of Doritos?!?!" asked Professor McGonagall.
"You stupid!" yelled Dumbledore, "You can't vote for a bag of dangerously cheesy Doritos, it wasn't one of the candidates!"
"So?" asked Professor McGonagall.
"Can I watch Barney now?" asked Snape.
"No!!!" yelled Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall.
"I need 2 know what 2 press for the bag of Doritos!" yelled Professor McGonagall as she angrily shook the phone up and down.
Snape thought about this for a moment and said: "22!!!! You press 22 to vote for the bag of Doritos!"
"Wow! You're a genius, Snape!" said McGonagall. She quickly found the 22 button on the phone and pressed it again and again and again and again...
5 minutes later...
"We're back with the results of the vote." Said the guy on the TV.
"Doritos...Doritos...Doritos..." said Professor McGonagall as she crossed her fingers.
"And the winner is...the Brai-wait no... it's a bag of dangerously cheesy Doritos!"
"Yay! The bag of Doritos won!" yelled Professor McGonagall.
"I don't need to win this election to rule the world" said Voldemort "I can just come and kill you all! BWAHAHAHA!!!!"
"What are we going to do tonight, Brain." Asked Pinky as he took a bite out of a Chick-fil-A sandwich.
"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!"
"I still have all my money!" said Bill Gates. "And a window!"
"I want a recount!" said Al Gore.
"Uh...no?" said Captain Nemo as he climbed aboard his submarine and then ran into a wall.
Then Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore dragged Snape (who wanted to stay home and watch Barney) into the car and they drove off to celebrate at the Coyote Café.
[MeatLoaf's Note: There are supposed to be spelling mistakes in here because in my personal opinion, spelling mistakes are funny. So don't flame me for the spelling or grammar mistakes.]
One day, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore were watching TV in the staff room.
"I love you, you love me," said Barney on the TV, "We're a happy family!"
Then an announcer came on the TV and said: "Our regularly scheduled program has been canceled so we can show you this very important news thing."
"What!" said Snape, "Kiwi Fruit! Me want 2 watch Barney!"
Then Snape looked back at the TV and saw a man with long black hair standing in front of a big, important-looking buildng. The man said: "Yo! We are now going to pick a new president of the world. Here are your candidates: Lord Vold-I mean, You-know-who, The Brain, Bill Gates, Al Gore and some guy named Captain Nemo."
"Dude!" said Professor McGonagall, "I want to vote for the bag of Doritos!"
"Hey!" said Dumbledore, "Their ain't no bag a Doritos running fer prezidunt of da world!"
"Yes there is and he's dangerously cheesy!" said McGonagall.
"That don't make no cents!" said Dumbledore, "Doritos ain't dangerously cheesy, Fritos are!"
"Kiwi Fruit! You is both rong! Cheese is dangerously cheesy!"
"HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!" said Dumbledore! "That ain't possible b/c cheese ain't cheesy! C'mon, it's cheese fir crying out loud!"
"HaHaHaHa!" said McGonagall, "That is the stupidest thing I ever herd! What was u thinking? ...Cheese...cheesy...thats stupid."
Now they watched the TV again and the man on the TV screen said: "Now the presidential candidates will give their speeches. First up is You-Know-Who."
"Hello everybody! You should vote for me because if you don't, I'll come to your house and kill you!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Vote for me." Said Voldemort.
"He said the name!" cried Snape.
"Big stinkin' deel." Said Dumbledore.
"Now the Brain will give his speech." Said the guy on TV.
Pinky and the Brain walk onto the stage.
"Greetings citizens of Earth." Said Brain.
"If you elect him," said Pinky, "He'll be the president of the World! Narf."
"Go away Pinky, I'm trying to give a speech!" said the Brain.
"Point! I thought you wanted me to help you. Zoink!" said Pinky.
"Very well. If you want to help, you can go to Chick-fil-A and get me a 12-piece chicken nugget combo." Said the Brain.
"Ok!" said Pinky, "Narf!"
Pinky walks to Chick-fil-A.
"If you elect me," said The Brain, "I will tell everyone to jump of a cliff. All the people who are smart enough to stay in their homes will help me build a space-ship and we will fly off into space and explore new planets."
Then the Brain walks away.
"Me think mouse was confusing." Said Dumbledore.
"Me 2." Said Snape "Me no vote 4 him."
"Now Bill Gates will give his speech."
Bill Gates walks onto the stage.
"Hello Everybody!" said Bill Gates.
"Hello Bill Gates!" said Everybody in the World.
"You should vote for me because I have a lot of money. And I own the Windows company thing, I think.
"Wow! A window!" said McGonagall in amazement.
"Me wishing there was a window hear." Said Dumbledore.
"Me 2." Said Snape.
"Now Al gore will give his speech."
"Hi! I'm Al Gore! Vote for me because I want to rule the world and it's the right thing to do." said Al Gore.
"Now that Captain Nemo guy will give his speech.
"Hello! I'm Captain Nemo! I have a giant submarine! It's really big and I call it the Nautilus! You should vote for me because I have a submarine!"
Then Captain Nemo walked stupidly off the stage singing "WE ALL LIVE ON A YELLOW SUBMARINE!!! A YELLOW SUBMARINE!! As loud as he could ands then runs into a wall.
"Riiiiight..."said the Guy on TV "Now it's time for you to cast your vote. If you want to vote, pick up your phone now."
"Me want 2 vote! Me pick up fone!" said Professor McGonagall.
Then Professor McGonagall picked up the phone.
"If you want to vote for Lord Voldemort-
"Aaahhhh!" said Professor McGonagall.
"press 1...now. If you want to vote for the Brain, press 2...now
"Ooohhh, the confusing mouse." Said Professor McGonagall.
"If you want to vote for Bill Gates-
"The window guy!"
"press 3...now. If you want to vote for Al Gore, press 4...now. If you want to vote for Captain Nemo, press 5...now. We will be back with the results in five minutes."
"...What about the bag of Doritos?!?!" asked Professor McGonagall.
"You stupid!" yelled Dumbledore, "You can't vote for a bag of dangerously cheesy Doritos, it wasn't one of the candidates!"
"So?" asked Professor McGonagall.
"Can I watch Barney now?" asked Snape.
"No!!!" yelled Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall.
"I need 2 know what 2 press for the bag of Doritos!" yelled Professor McGonagall as she angrily shook the phone up and down.
Snape thought about this for a moment and said: "22!!!! You press 22 to vote for the bag of Doritos!"
"Wow! You're a genius, Snape!" said McGonagall. She quickly found the 22 button on the phone and pressed it again and again and again and again...
5 minutes later...
"We're back with the results of the vote." Said the guy on the TV.
"Doritos...Doritos...Doritos..." said Professor McGonagall as she crossed her fingers.
"And the winner is...the Brai-wait no... it's a bag of dangerously cheesy Doritos!"
"Yay! The bag of Doritos won!" yelled Professor McGonagall.
"I don't need to win this election to rule the world" said Voldemort "I can just come and kill you all! BWAHAHAHA!!!!"
"What are we going to do tonight, Brain." Asked Pinky as he took a bite out of a Chick-fil-A sandwich.
"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!"
"I still have all my money!" said Bill Gates. "And a window!"
"I want a recount!" said Al Gore.
"Uh...no?" said Captain Nemo as he climbed aboard his submarine and then ran into a wall.
Then Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore dragged Snape (who wanted to stay home and watch Barney) into the car and they drove off to celebrate at the Coyote Café.
