Captain Nemo Lives on
a Yellow Submarine: Part 2
[MeatLoaf's Note: Al Gore told Dumbledore, Snape and
McGonagall to go out in a little boat to kill a fish that has been terrorizing
the Atlantic Ocean. But something turned the boat over so now they are floating
out in the middle of the ocean.]
"Hey! I
think I found land!" said Snape.
"Me too!"
said Dumbledore.
"What?"
cried Minerva. "Are you guys delusional? We're out in the middle of the ocean?
How can there be land?"
"Come over
here and see!" said Snape. "It's land."
McGonagall
swam over to Severus and Dumbledore.
"Wow!" said
Minerva as she stomped here foot on the hard surface beneath her. "It really is
land! But it's so metallic, and…yellow?"
Everyone
looked down at the thing they were standing on. Suddenly, it started to rise.
"Ahhh!"
yelled Dumbledore. "IT'S ALIVE!!!"
Before
anyone could jump off, a little trap door opened and a captain guy popped out.
"Hello
Everybody!" said the guy. "I'm Captain Nemo and this is my yellow submarine!"
"Wow!
Captain Nemo lives on a yellow submarine!" said Snape.
"Exactly."
Said Captain Nemo. "But the question is, why are YOU on my yellow submarine?"
"Some guy
told us to harpoon a fish that was terrorizing the ships." Said McGonagall "And
somehow we found your submarine."
"They must
have thought that my submarine was a fish because I go around the ocean and
sink ships." Said Captain Nemo.
"Why?"
asked Snape.
Captain
Nemo thought for a minute.
"It's none
of your business!" said Captain Nemo. "Now come into the submarine and I'll
show you around."
So everyone
went inside the submarine. Captain Nemo led them to a little room with a big
screen TV, a sofa and a mini-fridge.
"Since
there really isn't anything else to do on this submarine," said Captain Nemo, "you
can stay here and watch my home movies!"
Captain
Nemo took a video off of a shelf and popped it into the VCR. Then he turned on
the TV and turned to channel 3. A picture of Captain Nemo appeared on the
screen and he was eating ice cream at the kitchen table.
"This is me
eating ice cream." Said Captain Nemo, the one that wasn't on TV.
A few
minutes later, Captain Nemo fast-forwarded the tape. A picture of 3-year-old
Captain Nemo shaking a big green box appeared on the screen.
"This is me
trying to figure out what mommy got me for Christmas." Said Captain Nemo. "Now
let's watch the tape about my 5th birthday!"
7 hours later…
"Now let's
watch the tape I made when my cousin's dog swallowed a flash light!" said
Captain Nemo.
Captain
Nemo turned around and saw that Dumbledore, Snape and McGonagall were asleep on
the couch.
"Wake up
everybody!" cried Captain Nemo.
Everyone on
the couch jumped up.
"It's time
for dinner!" said Captain Nemo happily.
Snape,
McGonagall, and Dumbledore followed Captain Nemo into a little room with a big
wooden table in the center. Pictures of Captain Nemo covered the blue walls.
Everyone sat down at the table.
A few
minutes later, 4 men walked in carrying plated filled with food. One of the men
was very tall and had bushy orange hair. He was wearing blue jeans and a plaid
shirt and he looked like a woodsman. The other man was very skinny and his
black hair was neatly combed. And the last guy was a professor guy who looked
like Einstein.
The men
placed the plates on the table and sat down. The 4th guy looked
really stoopid and he wuz wearing a sombrero.
"Hello Ned!
Hello Conseil! Hello Professor! Hello Hans!" said Captain Nemo. "What are we
going to eat for dinner?"
"Squid!"
said Ned.
"Bonjour!"
said Mr. Professor. He couldn't speak English.
"Hello!"
said Snape.
"Bonjour!"
said Mr. Professor.
"Hello!
"Bonjour!
"Hello!
"Bonjour!
"Hola!"
said Hans stupidly.
Snape and
Mr. Professor stared at Hans.
"Hola!"
"Hello!"
"Bonjour!"
"Hola!"
"Hello!"
"Bonjour!"
"STOP IT!!!!!"
screamed Captain Nemo. "Let's just eat dinner for crying out loud!!!!!"
The rest of
the meal was eaten in silence. After everyone had eaten, Snape, Minerva,
Dumbledore, Hans, Captain Nemo, Ned, Conseil, and Professor Aronnax went back
on the couch and fell asleep while watching some more home videos.
The next day…
Everyone
woke up when Hans started snoring.
"Hans!"
screamed Minerva as she hit him with a pillow. "You were snoring AGAIN!!!"
"No hablo
English." Said Hans.
"You were
snoring!" said Minerva.
"No
comprendo." Said Hans.
"Snore! Do
you understand???? SNORE!!!" said Minerva.
"¡No hablo inglés! ¿Comprendas? ¡No hablo!" said Hans.
"Captain
Nemo, what's he saying?" asked Minerva.
"I have no
idea." Said Captain Nemo. "I've been trying to figure that out for years. When
you two are done fighting, we can go visit Atlantis, if you want."
"COOL!!!"
said Snape.
"Wow!" said
Everybody else.
"¡Hola!" said Hans.
[MeatLoaf's Note: This part of the fanfic is longer than I
expected it would be.]