Captain Nemo Lives on a Yellow Submarine: Part 2

Captain Nemo Lives on a Yellow Submarine: Part 2

[MeatLoaf's Note: Al Gore told Dumbledore, Snape and McGonagall to go out in a little boat to kill a fish that has been terrorizing the Atlantic Ocean. But something turned the boat over so now they are floating out in the middle of the ocean.]

            "Hey! I think I found land!" said Snape.

            "Me too!" said Dumbledore.

            "What?" cried Minerva. "Are you guys delusional? We're out in the middle of the ocean? How can there be land?"

            "Come over here and see!" said Snape. "It's land."

            McGonagall swam over to Severus and Dumbledore.

            "Wow!" said Minerva as she stomped here foot on the hard surface beneath her. "It really is land! But it's so metallic, and…yellow?"

            Everyone looked down at the thing they were standing on. Suddenly, it started to rise.

            "Ahhh!" yelled Dumbledore. "IT'S ALIVE!!!"

            Before anyone could jump off, a little trap door opened and a captain guy popped out.

            "Hello Everybody!" said the guy. "I'm Captain Nemo and this is my yellow submarine!"

            "Wow! Captain Nemo lives on a yellow submarine!" said Snape.

            "Exactly." Said Captain Nemo. "But the question is, why are YOU on my yellow submarine?"

            "Some guy told us to harpoon a fish that was terrorizing the ships." Said McGonagall "And somehow we found your submarine."

            "They must have thought that my submarine was a fish because I go around the ocean and sink ships." Said Captain Nemo.

            "Why?" asked Snape.

            Captain Nemo thought for a minute.

            "It's none of your business!" said Captain Nemo. "Now come into the submarine and I'll show you around."

            So everyone went inside the submarine. Captain Nemo led them to a little room with a big screen TV, a sofa and a mini-fridge.

            "Since there really isn't anything else to do on this submarine," said Captain Nemo, "you can stay here and watch my home movies!"

            Captain Nemo took a video off of a shelf and popped it into the VCR. Then he turned on the TV and turned to channel 3. A picture of Captain Nemo appeared on the screen and he was eating ice cream at the kitchen table.

            "This is me eating ice cream." Said Captain Nemo, the one that wasn't on TV.

            A few minutes later, Captain Nemo fast-forwarded the tape. A picture of 3-year-old Captain Nemo shaking a big green box appeared on the screen.

            "This is me trying to figure out what mommy got me for Christmas." Said Captain Nemo. "Now let's watch the tape about my 5th birthday!"

7 hours later…

            "Now let's watch the tape I made when my cousin's dog swallowed a flash light!" said Captain Nemo.

            Captain Nemo turned around and saw that Dumbledore, Snape and McGonagall were asleep on the couch.

            "Wake up everybody!" cried Captain Nemo.

            Everyone on the couch jumped up.

            "It's time for dinner!" said Captain Nemo happily.

            Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore followed Captain Nemo into a little room with a big wooden table in the center. Pictures of Captain Nemo covered the blue walls. Everyone sat down at the table.

            A few minutes later, 4 men walked in carrying plated filled with food. One of the men was very tall and had bushy orange hair. He was wearing blue jeans and a plaid shirt and he looked like a woodsman. The other man was very skinny and his black hair was neatly combed. And the last guy was a professor guy who looked like Einstein.

            The men placed the plates on the table and sat down. The 4th guy looked really stoopid and he wuz wearing a sombrero.

            "Hello Ned! Hello Conseil! Hello Professor! Hello Hans!" said Captain Nemo. "What are we going to eat for dinner?"

            "Squid!" said Ned.

            "Bonjour!" said Mr. Professor. He couldn't speak English.

            "Hello!" said Snape.

            "Bonjour!" said Mr. Professor.

            "Hello!

            "Bonjour!

            "Hello!

            "Bonjour!

            "Hola!" said Hans stupidly.

            Snape and Mr. Professor stared at Hans.

            "Hola!"

            "Hello!"

            "Bonjour!"

            "Hola!"

            "Hello!"

            "Bonjour!"

            "STOP IT!!!!!" screamed Captain Nemo. "Let's just eat dinner for crying out loud!!!!!"

            The rest of the meal was eaten in silence. After everyone had eaten, Snape, Minerva, Dumbledore, Hans, Captain Nemo, Ned, Conseil, and Professor Aronnax went back on the couch and fell asleep while watching some more home videos.

The next day…

            Everyone woke up when Hans started snoring.

            "Hans!" screamed Minerva as she hit him with a pillow. "You were snoring AGAIN!!!"

            "No hablo English." Said Hans.

            "You were snoring!" said Minerva.

            "No comprendo." Said Hans.

            "Snore! Do you understand???? SNORE!!!" said Minerva.

            "¡No hablo inglés! ¿Comprendas? ¡No hablo!" said Hans.

            "Captain Nemo, what's he saying?" asked Minerva.

            "I have no idea." Said Captain Nemo. "I've been trying to figure that out for years. When you two are done fighting, we can go visit Atlantis, if you want."

            "COOL!!!" said Snape.

            "Wow!" said Everybody else.

            "¡Hola!" said Hans.

[MeatLoaf's Note: This part of the fanfic is longer than I expected it would be.]