Note: Dunno where this came from. Probably too many late nights of watching Big O (while it was still on, anyway... *grumble*). Go figure.

The Quad-A Meetings:

Day 1, Session 1

Summary: Roger discusses his "relationship" with Dorothy.

... are thoughts.

"Tell us why you're here, Roger. That's the best way we can begin to help you."

Roger glanced at Mecha Washu, then all the other faces that were staring at him expectantly. "Well, I'm a negotiator, and-"

"What's that?" Eighteen asked.

"Huh? Oh. Well, clients hire me to do certain jobs, and-"

"What kind of jobs?" Seventeen asked.

"It varies from case to case."

"Give us examples," Seventeen insisted, smirking.

Roger frowned at him, clearly annoyed. "Well, I've done missing persons, kidnapping, robbery, property damage, and homicides, among other things."

Seventeen snorted. "Amateur."

Mecha Washu shot him a look. "Please continue, Roger."

"Thanks. Anyway, about two years ago, I was working on a kidnapping case. This rich old guy was trying to get his daughter back. I don't want to go into details, but when the case ended, I walked away with a very annoying android."

"You stole it?" Seventeen asked, half-hoping he had.

Roger glared at him. "No. She came with me willingly. Besides, she weighs a ton and has superhuman strength and speed. I couldn't force her to do anything."

"Why'd she go with you?" Eighteen asked.

"First, she only wanted to hire me for protection...not that she really needed it, in my opinion. But the next thing I knew, she was living in my house, banging out some godforsaken noise on my prize piano that she dared to call music, and at the WORST possible hours in the morn-"

"Roger, you still haven't told us your problem," Melfina pointed out gently.

"Oh. Right." Roger sighed and looked at the floor. "I think I might be falling in love with her."

There was total silence for about ten seconds.

"And...?" Gene finally asked.

"And I don't WANT to fall in love with her! She's not human, she can't really feel, and she asks the WEIRDEST questions about-"

"Roger, wait," Mecha Washu said. "I think you've misunderstood. This club encourages relationships with androids, not rids you of them."

Roger blinked. "So..."

"We can help you accept that your feelings for her aren't weird. They're perfectly normal."

"How can you say that?! She's...a machine!"

"Human beings don't develop feelings for simple machines, Roger. At least, the normal ones don't. But I think I see your real problem. Describe her for me...starting with her name, please."

"Sorry. It's R. Dorothy Wainwright."

"What's the R stand for?" Melfina asked.

Roger shuddered slightly. "Don't remind me."

"Well, what does she look like?" Mecha Washu asked.

"She's got red hair, pale skin, and these little sea-blue marks under her eyes that almost looks like she put eye shadow on. She has very few expressions, maybe one or two. Her voice changes in tone, but again, there's only one or two tones."

"What about her skin? Is it warm?"

Roger frowned. "I...can't remember. I've purposely avoided touching her whenever I can. Sometimes I can hear her gears when she moves, though."

"A typical class E case, then," said a voice behind him.

Roger looked over his shoulder to see another Washu smiling at him. "Class...E?"

"Yup! Almost totally machine, with very few human aspects, but they are there. I'm Washu, by the way."

"The real one?"

"That's right. You must be Roger Smith. I think we can help you. We'll start with some simple role-playing, then move onto more advanced techniques."

"Like what?" Roger asked warily.

"We'll cross that bridge when we reach it. I like to focus on the now." Washu clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. "We're going to do some role-playing, people! Six, if you'd arrange the chairs. Gene, you'll be the director. Mel, you can help with the lighting. Eighteen, you'll be in the scene. Mecha, please keep an eye on Marron. Oh, and Seventeen, work on suppressing those urges, please."

Seventeen muttered something under his breath and stalked away from the others.

"Urges?" Roger whispered to Eighteen.

"My brother suffers from random homicidal urges," Eighteen explained. "Well, `random' is a bad word for it. He's like that pretty much all the time. Then again, `suffers' isn't right, either. He rather enjoys them."

Roger's eyes widened. "Oh."

* * * * *

"Okay, let's try it again!" Washu waved her hands. "Remember, Roger, you're asking her out for the first time. Go!"

Roger cleared his throat and knocked on the invisible door. "Dorothy? Could I speak to you for a moment?"

Eighteen opened the `door' and smiled. "Come in, Roger."

Roger froze.

Eighteen sighed. "Washu, he's doing it AGAIN..."

"Roger, what's the problem?" Washu asked. "Every time Eighteen invites you in, you turn to stone."

"I'm sorry, Washu. It's just that she's so...distractingly beautiful."

"That's NEVER been a problem," Eighteen muttered with a smirk.

"Well, it is now." Roger frowned. "Dorothy isn't like that. She's...just....I don't know. Subtle. Actually, clueless is a better word."

Eighteen rolled her eyes. "Look, I don't even KNOW your little girlfriend, Roger. I can't exactly portray her that well."

"Are you saying that Eighteen is too attractive?" Washu guessed.

"Something like that," Roger murmured.

"Oh, that's easily fixed. Eighteen, you're on lighting. Mel, come here, please."

Melfina hurried over. "Yes, Washu?"

Washu gestured to Melfina. "What about her? Is she too attractive?"

Roger looked Melfina up and down. "Well, she's a whole lot closer than Eighteen was to Dorothy."

"Good. Then let's try the scene again."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Gene protested.

"Gene, I thought we worked on those jealousy issues?" Washu asked.

Gene frowned. "Yeah, but-"

"So then there's no problem. Right?" Washu smiled sweetly.

Gene sighed. "No."

"No, what?"

Gene growled. "No, Little Washu."

"Good! Places, everyone! We'll start where we left off."

Melfina sat down in a chair. "What did you want to talk about, Roger?"

Roger sighed and began pacing the room. "Dorothy, I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, or if it'll even matter to you, but..." He paused and looked at her. "I think...I'm developing feelings for you."

"What...kind of feelings, Roger?"

"Well...romantic ones. I think...that I love you, Dorothy."

Melfina blinked a few times. "That's...nice?"

Roger groaned and shook his head. "This isn't working."

"I agree," Washu said. "There's only one thing to do, then."

"What?" Roger asked.

"Don't you worry about that now." Washu clapped her hands. "Okay, people. That's enough for today. Next week, we'll be better prepared to help Roger. Six, if you could put the chairs back? Mel, go hug and kiss Gene before he gets trigger-happy again. And Roger, if I could see you outside for a moment, please?"

Roger quickly followed Washu into the hallway, as Seventeen was glaring at him again. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Not really, Roger. But I can see this will be a very unique case. I'll have to bring in some...special help. Would you mind if I contacted you at home?"

"No, of course not. The sooner you can help me, the better."

"Excellent! Oh, and there is something you can do to help." Washu smiled evilly. "Would you be opposed to baby-sitting little Marron tonight? It would only be for a few hours..."

Roger frowned. "Washu, I can be hired for many things, but THAT is not one of them. I'm a negotiator, not a...sitter."

"Good. Then negotiate with Eighteen over how much you'll get paid. Have fun!"

Before Roger could argue, Washu vanished into thin air.

"I wish I could disappear," he muttered.

"That makes two of us," Seventeen added as he walked past.

"Just ignore him," Eighteen sighed as she walked up. "Anyway, Marron will eat just about anything you put in front of her, but no liquids after nine or she'll wet the bed."

Roger's eyes widened. "Hey, wait! She's not sleeping in my bed!"

"I didn't say she had to. Although it would be cruel and unusual to make my darling, precious baby sleep on anything less than a bed." Eighteen's eyes narrowed. "And you don't want to disappoint me, do you, Roger?"

"Not r-really," Roger stammered.

"Good." Eighteen placed Marron in his arms. "I'll pick her up in the morning."

"The morning?! Washu said a few hours!" Roger shouted.

"Oh, the time will just fly by, you'll see." Eighteen kissed the top of Marron's head. "You have fun, sweetie." Then she smiled and gave Roger a peck on the cheek. "You, too...sweetie."

"Bye, Mommy!" Marron shouted, waving at her mother.

Roger turned a spectacular shade of crimson as he watched Eighteen walk down the hall. "So much for sleeping tonight..."

"Gotta pee again," Marron announced.

Roger sighed. "Right this way, kid."

* * * * *

"Welcome home, Master Rog--oh, my..."

"Very funny, Norman." Roger glared at his butler. "It's a child, not a bomb...although they seem to have similar functions." He held Marron at arm's length. "Perhaps you'd like to see if you can disarm it."

"Disarm it, sir?" Norman asked.

"Feed it and keep it quiet for at least half an hour. I should be able to handle the rest."

"Very good, sir. Though, since `it' is a child and not a bomb, why don't you just call the child by her name?"

"I'm Marron!" the girl said.

"Yeah, and we're all happy for you, kid." Roger loosened his tie. "Just do as I asked, Norman. Now, excuse me while I find some toys and a lot of aspirin."

"Try the attic and the medicine cabinet, sir." Norman looked at the girl in his arms. "Well, Miss Marron, is there any particular food you'd prefer?"

"Um...I like pudding!"

Norman smiled. "Very well, then. One bowl of-"

"And cookies! And ice cream! And cake! Oooh, and marshmallows! They're my favorite!"

* * * * *

Dorothy didn't need to eat dinner. She only showed up to humor Norman, who swore that "Master Roger's manners at the table always improve when a lady is present." So Dorothy sat, and she even sniffed the food sometimes, but she didn't eat. There was really no point in it. Apparently, Norman found some way to dispose of anything she just let get cold. She suspected that he either ate it himself or gave it to strays. Dorothy couldn't ever recall seeing him eat.

She was on her way to join them for dinner when she noticed something very strange. For one thing, Roger was nowhere to be seen. For another, there was a small person with a somewhat large forehead sitting where Dorothy usually sat. There was chocolate smeared all over her lips, and various chocolate items in front of her. They included, but were not limited to: candy bars, pudding, cake, and ice cream.

Norman happened to look up as he set another bowl of pudding in front of the small person. "Oh! Terribly sorry, Miss Dorothy. I didn't hear you come in."

"Who is this, Norman?" Dorothy asked.

"That would be Miss Marron, our guest. She's staying with us for the night."

"She's in my chair...and why is she only eating chocolate?"

"Well, it seems to be her favorite, next to marshmallows, which we didn't have. As for your seat, I'm terribly sorry about that. I wasn't thinking-"

"No need to apologize. I'm not upset. Just...curious."

Marron finished the pudding in record time and let out a tiny, satisfied belch.

"Would you be interested in watching her for a while?" Norman asked. "I doubt it would be much different from taking care of a cat...now that she's fed, anyway."

"Cats don't talk, Norman."

"I noticed, Miss Dorothy. Is that a yes?"

"I wouldn't mind." Dorothy blinked a few times. "She's still got chocolate on her mouth."

"Then perhaps you should get it off for her," Norman replied as he left the room.

Dorothy grabbed a napkin and proceeded to clean Marron's mouth.

Marron stared up at her. "Hey, you gots red hair!"

"And?"

Marron shrugged. "Don't know anybody that gots red hair, `cept for Washu and Mr. Gene and Unkie Six."

"Oh." Dorothy threw the napkin away. "I'm supposed to watch you now."

"That's no fun. You gotta watch something fun, like TV!"

"I don't think there are any in this house."

Marron looked very disappointed. "Then what do you do for fun around here?"

"Well, sometimes I walk out on the edge of the roof because I have perfect balance."

Marron grinned. "Cool! Let's do it!"

* * * * *

Roger actually was looking for Marron. Really. And he'd even stopped looking in the wine cellar after a couple of hours. But now he was worried. Norman had mentioned something about Dorothy watching Marron, but Roger couldn't find either of them. It was times like this he hated having so many women in his life that just made things difficult.

He was about to give up when he walked past the French doors...and saw Marron dancing on the edge of the roof. Dorothy was beside her, doing a more stiff version of Marron's dance...or at least, she was making a clumsy attempt to do it and failing miserably.

Naturally, Roger went into panic mode. "MARRON, NO!" he shouted, bursting through the doors.

Marron giggled as she spotted him. "Look, nice lady! It's Mister Smiff!" She reached up and tugged on Dorothy's dress to get her attention.

The light tug, combined with Dorothy's already unsteady footing, caused her fall backwards.

Roger's concern left Marron and found a new target in light of Dorothy's predicament. He rushed to the edge, where he found Dorothy hanging onto a loose brick about ten feet below him. "Dorothy! Hang on!" Then he realized how stupid that sounded. It wasn't like she was going to let go on purpose.

"This brick cannot support my weight for very long, Roger," Dorothy stated, glancing down.

As if on cue, there was a loud crack as Dorothy's fingers dug into the brick.

"Nice lady gonna fall?" Marron asked, sounding a little worried.

"Not if I can help it." Roger lifted his wristwatch to his mouth. "Big O!"

Marron squealed in surprise and clung to Roger's leg as the whole building began to shake. "Eeek! It's a Super Duper Saiyan thingee!"

Roger smiled as his megadeuce erupted from the ground. "Not quite, kid." He tucked Marron under one arm and hopped into Big O's cockpit. "Okay, Dorothy. Let's get you down from there."

"You took long enough." Dorothy gracefully dropped into Big O's outstretched hand.

Marron blinked and looked around. "So...it wasn't a Super Duper Saiyan thingee?" she asked quietly.

"I don't have the first clue," Roger admitted. "But Dorothy's safe, and we-"

"I was never in any real danger, Roger Smith," Dorothy interrupted.

"Uh...what?"

"Even if I had fallen and not landed on my feet, which is highly unlikely, there would've just been a large hole in the street. Of course, now there's an even larger one, thanks to you."

"You could've just thanked me, Dorothy."

"For what? Marron wouldn't have grabbed me if you hadn't come out screaming like a maniac. It's your fault I fell at all."

Roger opened his mouth, then decided against whatever he was going to say.

* * * * *

"Any progress, sir?"

Roger sighed. "Not really, Norman. Every time I try to say something, Dorothy shoots me down. The worse part is, I can't tell if she's doing it on purpose or if she just doesn't have a choice but to sound so harsh."

"Look on the bright side, sir. She and Miss Marron are getting along very well."

"I'm not surprised. Marron's mother is a cyborg. Why don't I ever have any luck with robot women?!" Noticing Norman's startled gaze, he frowned. "Not a WORD, Norman."

"As you wish, sir."

The doorbell suddenly rang.

"I'll get it, sir. Why don't you go check on Miss Marron?"

"Yeah, sure." Roger walked down the hall to Dorothy's room and raised his hand to knock.

"Come in, Roger."

Puzzled, he opened the door and saw Dorothy sitting on her bed. "You heard me?"

"I was listening," she said simply. "Now be quiet. Marron's asleep."

Roger finally noticing Marron, curled up in a little ball on Dorothy's lap. "She's so much cuter when she's asleep...and a lot easier to watch."

"I've been wondering...what the real Dorothy was like when she was a little girl. I was wondering...if she was anything like Marron."

"Somehow, I doubt it," Roger chuckled. "Her mother probably wasn't a cyborg."

"And what's wrong with that?" a voice behind him asked.

Roger slowly turned around. "Hello...Eighteen."

Eighteen smiled as the rest of the Quad-A Club appeared behind her. "Since I had to come by to pick up Marron, anyway, I decided to invite the others. You don't mind, do you?"

"I guess not."

"Great. And this must be Dorothy!" Mecha Washu teleported over to the android. "Cool! An actual thermal-radio-dynamic frequency emitter!"

"A what?" Roger asked.

"A fancy way of saying she's got a flashlight in her head," Washu explained as she appeared next to Roger. "Sorry for the intrusion, Roger, but we all agreed that this is a hands-on case. Therefore, we found it necessary to make a house call, among other things."

"Other...things?"

"Yes. I'm afraid I had to take drastic measures. This one's a toughie."

"How drastic are we talking?" Roger asked nervously.

"Let's just say this particular method was even too harsh for Seventeen."

Seventeen's face paled. "You...you didn't! Washu, you swore to me! You PROMISED!"

Washu smiled sadly. "Sorry, Seven, but newbies come first in this club, and Roger needs our help. I had to call on another Quad-A Club...although their A's stand for something much, much different than ours."

There was suddenly a loud whine, followed by an explosion somewhere upstairs.

"Washu...who...or WHAT...have you brought into my home?" Roger asked.

"Nobody much. Just the Amazingly Accurate Anime Assassins for Hire, is all! Don't worry, I took care of the expenses. Their services are practically free to mad scientists. Er...uh...FORMERLY mad scientists..."

"NO!" Seventeen screamed. "I won't go back! I WON'T!" He yanked a hunting knife from his jeans and slowly backed away.

Eighteen sighed. "Here we go again. Sixteen, some help, please."

The two androids slowly surrounded Seventeen, who was looking more frantic by the second.

"Give me the knife, Seventeen," Eighteen said gently. "No one's going to make you go back."

"B-But she promised!" Seventeen wailed.

"I know. No one's gonna hurt you, okay?" She pressed a hand to his cheek. "Now, give me the knife."

Seventeen's hand quivered, then allowed her to take the weapon. He instantly burst into tears and sank to his knees.

Sixteen picked up Seventeen and gave him a very reassuring hug.

"What's got him so spooked?" Roger asked.

Gene sighed. "Well, Seventeen used to be a member of this other Quad-A Club...until they kicked him out."

"Why?"

"His body count wasn't high enough for them. They said anyone could kill a few hundred humans."

Roger looked at Washu. "These people are dangerous, then?"

Washu nodded. "Not so much as the cargo they brought with them, but yeah. They're killers."

"Oh. Great. Is that all?" Roger muttered before he fainted.

What does Washu & Co. have in store for Roger? What's Seventeen doing with a knife?! And who the heck are the Amazingly Accurate Anime Assassins for Hire? Find out soon...or whenever I find time to write/post it. Heh...