Disclaimer- blah blah blah Vinnie Mac owns all WWF WCW characters, I own Paris, all others own themselves, etc etc.
Chapter 4
Eeek! What IS it??
"Jerk!" screamed Paris, lashing out. RVD rubbed his head.
"You're really not helping, you know."
Matt eyed him him suspiciously.
"Are you really a doctor?"
"Of course!" RVD glared at him. "And I'd have had the chance to prove it as well if she'd let me anywhere near that ankle!"
"You're HURTING me!" Paris pouted.
"You know, I don't trust you." Matt snarled at RVD.
"The feeling is most certainly mutual."
"That's it!" I'm gonna take you to the mainland to see a REAL doctor!" Matt turned round. Jeff stood up to bar his way.
"Not in THAT you're not!" He gestured out of the window. "That storm's really picking up."
"I guess you'll just have to trust me then," RVD faced Matt.
"Not on your life and not with my girl!" Matt swung round suddenly. "and where do you think YOU'RE going?" Paris was halfway to the door.
"I'm gonna find that little creep who attacked me." She paused. "and then, I'm gonna kill him!"
"No." Said Matt, fimly escorting her back to the bed. "You're gonna lie down here, and you're-"
"-gonna let me take a look at that ankle!" Cut in RVD.
"No, I'm gonna look at it!" Said Matt icily.
"Who's the qualified doctor here?" RVD almost yelled.
"I see no qualified doctors!" Matt shouted. "only QUALIFIED PERVERTS!" He wacked RVD over the head.
Suzy sighed. She really couldn't deal with this tonight. Men could be so bloody STUBBORN! She left them arguing in the hut behind her, and made her way over to her rooms.
Kurt stirred, and his hand immedietley went to his head, where he encounterd dry blood. Dry? He thought. How long have I been lying here? Was- oh no! The girls! He stood up too quickly, and had to lean against a tree to get his balance. He heard raised voices inside the hut in front of him. He slowley and groggily made his way inside. They all stopped and turned to look at him as he enterd.
"Kurt!" Paris exclaimed. "what happend to you?"
"What happend to YOU?!?" He asked, staring at her bandaged ankle. He stopped dead. "YOU!!!" He shouted, staring at RVD. He looked at Paris. "He was going to attack you!"
"No, it wasn't him!" she frowned.
"YOU WERE ATTACKED!?!" Kurt screamed.
"Sit down, Kurt, you look like you hit your head. You sound like it, too."
"No! He also- he hit me over the head! And I saw him staring at you through the window!"
"So, let me get this straight." RVD smirked. "I hit you over the head... whilst I was watching her through the window?"
"You-you had an accomplice!!" Kurt protested.
"Who looked exactly like me?" RVD raised his eyebrows.
"No-I-I-I didn't say that." Kurt sunk into a chair, head buried in hands. How was he going to get them to believe him? If only his memory was clearer, but his brain seemed to have a fog over it. "his accomplice was- small, weedy, kinda creepy." Paris frowned.
"Now that you mention it, that DOES sound like that THING that that attacked me."
"Come on," RVD laughed, "you really think I'm associated with THAT slime ball?"
The 'slime ball' was hiding underneath Suzy's balcony.He was giving Kanyon and Hurricane some pretty hard stares.
"So let me get this straight, guys. You have done... nothing?"
"Well..." Said Kanyon nervously, "We played some cards."
"And watched Kurt Angle get undressed..." Kanyon elbowed Hurricane. "I mean... we scouted out the area."
"You-" Dallas nodded at them both, "Are usless. Wait here." He scrambled and climed untill he was on the balcony railings.
Down on the ground, there was a long silence. Finally Kanyon said,
"Kurt Angle? You told me it was a hot girl!" Hurricane rolled his eyes.
"I was leading you on. You need glasses, citizen Kanyon." There was another long pause.
"I'm getting wet." Observed Kanyon.
"Really?" Hurricane sounded suprised. "oh, I forgot that you do not possess hurri-powers. I'm not even damp." Kanyon glanced at his scepticly.
"Really? You look wet to me."
"Wet, citizen Kanyon, is in the eye of the beholder."
"But your hair's all wet. It's sticking to your head."
"It is of no consequence."
"And your cape is dripping."
"....."
"And your stupid make up is running. It looks even more wussy than usual."
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW?" Hurricane's hands flew to his face. "Come on, lets play some cards."
"What, those ones with the hot babes on them?"
"uh... yeah."
".....You're not telling me those are of Kurt Angle too?"
"....."
"You're sick, you know that? Sick."
DDP sat crouched on the balcony rail. He peered at Suzy through the french windows. If he waited a bit, maybe she'd take some clothes off...
Suzy saw a movement at the window, and paused halfway through unbutonning her blouse.
Dallas caught his breath. He knew he'd been spotted. Time to move...
He leapt at suzy, who screamed, and hit him away with the back of her hand.
"EeeK! What IS it?" DDP rubbed his cheek, more than his ego hurt. He hadn't been expecting this. What he didn't know, and really should have, was that the difference between Paris and Suzy was two olympic gold medals and about 100 pounds. In muscle.
He ran at her, but this time she was ready, and a powerful kick sent him sailing through the windows and over the balcony. He landed on Kanyon and Hurricane.
"Oh well." he murmerd. "least I got a soft landing."
"I'll give you soft landing!" Kanyon snarled, elbowing Dallas in the jaw.
"Superheros-" Grunted Hurricane, hauling himself up and Dallas up with him. "-are not for use-" Dallas dodged a clumsily aimed punch, "-as saftey mats!"
"I see you've failed. Typical." RVD stepped out of the shadows. Kanyon jumped and let out a high pitch squeak.
"Hey, don't creep up on us like that already!" He narrowed his eyes. "and I didn't exactly see you having much luck!"
"Yeah well." RVD growled. "I ran into a few hitches, didn't I?"
"This plan sucks!" whined Dallas. He paused. "Do you know what he said to me? She said- 'Eeek! What IS it?'" Dallas gave a bad impression of a girl's voice. "Why do girls always say that when they see me?"
"Because." snapped RVD. "you're ugly."
"And stupid." added Kanyon.
"And creepy." contributed Hurricane.
"Gee, thanks for the ego boost guys."
"Don't worry." RVD slapped him on the back. "you're right about one thing. This plan DOES suck. AND it's not working."
"So what do we do?"
"We need to accomplish the reason we're here. Revenge on the McMahons!"
The kitchen was cramped with all of them in it, but they had decided to call this emergancy meeting in a hope of deciding what they should do.
"Well?" said Austin, "What should we do? What? I said what shall we do!"
"Are we gonna go home or stick it out here?" Regal asked. RVD leant against the wall, smirking to himself. He eyed the strong looking blond with interest. He wonderd if she was taken?
"We're not going home!" She sounded determined.
"Well, what do we know? What? I said, what do we know? What? I said-"
Matt ignored Austin's derranged schizo ramblings.
"We know that there is some kind of creep on the Island." He wrapped his arm possesivley around Paris. "We don't know what he wants, and we don't know how he got here."
"Talking of creeps," Suzy eyed RVD coldly. "How did YOU get here?" RVD glared back. He was starting to go off her. Looks were all very well, but the edge of spite in her voice wasn't to attractive.
"'Tis a cold woman that you are." Though his words were light, his tone was filled with as much venom as hers had been. "My boat was caught up in the storm and I had to dock it here." He lied easily.
"Well, that dosen't answer the question of what we should do about that slimy little creature that's hanging around" Matt said.
Kurt stirred in his seat on the kitchen counter.
"You got an idea, Jackass?" Asked Austin. Kurt nodded.
"Yipi-" Austin stuck up his hand.
"Shut it kurt."
"-kai-"
"KURT! Now, has anyone ELSE got an idea?" Kurt nodded. Austin sighed. "One more chance, Jackass. Just one." Kurt nodded.
"Let's all just have a warm glass of-"
"KURT!" Kurt looked innocently at the others.
"I was just going to say-"
"Milk. You were going to say milk, right Kurt?"
"No, I was going to say..." Kurt looked around desperatley. "uhh... turtles."
The others all looked at Kurt. There was a long pause. Regal was the first to speak.
"Turtles. A warm glass of....turtles. Thankyou for that great contribution to society."
Austin raised his eyebrows.
"Anyone... sane have an idea?"
"I've got an idea." RVD moved over to Ro and spoke so softley no-one else could hear him.
"Pervert!" Ro slapped him hard.
"What on earth did he say?!?" Shane shouted, rising to his feet. RVD raised his hands in defence.
"Hey, I only said that we should all just go to bed!"
"That's funny." Ro growled. "Cos' I certainly didn't hear any ALL in that sentance when you said it to me!" She turned round to Paris and Suzy. "Come on girls, let's go get some sleep."
The girls left the kitchen, arms linked, Paris limping. RVD scurried after them. Shane waved Matt and Jeff over.
"I really don't trust him." He glared after RVD's retreating back.
"What do you mean?" Jeff looked puzzled. "I haven't noticed him doing anything bad."
"You mean you didn't notice him staring at Suzy?" Asked Matt in mock surprise.
"He-" Jeff looked mad. "he-"
"Yeah." Added Shane, "I think he went off her after she practicly bit his head off." Jeff smirked.
"Even still. We should REALLY do something about him." They turned their heads to the window as they heard one of the girls scream "Eeek! Rob, you pervert! Get off me!", and RVD maniclly laughing in the distance. Jeff raised his eyebrows.
"And soon."
"I dunno." Austin walked over. "I think they're enjoying it. What? After all, why else would they be out there all ALONE with him? Surely not because their boyfriends and husband are in here discussing it instead of-" Matt, Jeff and Shane had alreay left.
The storm howled around the huts, and Paris cuddled closer to Matt.
"Sure has been a long night, huh?" he murmerd into her hair.
"Sure has" she sleepily mumbled "I wonder if that thing's still out there?"
"Probably fell off a cliff or something." He closed his eyes. "let's just get some sleep."
"mmmmm."
Just as she was dozing off, the phone rang. She rolled over, and picked it up.
"murf? Suzy? Yeah, could be. We'd better. See you there. Bye." She rolled back over to face Matt. "That was Suzy. She thinks that that creepy guy might attack Ro next, and she can't defend herself like Suzy can, and Shane, being a pussy, can't protect her all that much. We should really get over to her just in case. We're gonna meet her in the kitchen, ok? She could be in danger!"
Ro hummed to herself as she worked in the kitchen. Shane was asleep, but somehow she just couldn't doze off. So instead she was baking a 48 hour anniversary cake for him. She saw Dallas diving towards her, and swung around. His head made a hollow sound as it made contact with the saucepan in her hand. (why did she have a saucepan for baking a cake? I dunno, I'm not one to assess her culinary skills, ok?)
Matt, Jeff and Shane walked into the storage hut. RVD looked up from crouching on the floor.
"Are you gonna keep me in here forever? I was only having a bit of harmless fun!"
"WITH MY WIFE!!" shouted Shane, baring his fist inces from RVD's face.
"AND MY GIRLFRIEND!!" added Matt. RVD gave them an innocent look.
"I was just getting to know them-"
"ON THE FLOOR?" Jeff hyperventilated. "Is girls ALL you ever think about?"
"Such thoughts are all my head can hold!"
"We came up with a plan." Said Jeff slowly. RVD looked hopeful.
"What?"
"We're gonna kill you." said Matt visciously. RVD pretended to think about it.
"Hmmm... interesting idea, guys. But you know, I might have an alternive that's not so, um, drastic?"
"I dunno." Jeff grinned evily at the others. "I kinda liked our plan, didn't you?"
"Let's just talk about this, guys. Guys?" RVD pleaded.
"Ok." Said Shane. "We'll hear you out." He sniffed the air. "But let's go somewhere that dosen't stink of piss, shall we?"
Dallas crumpled at Ro's feet.
"Ew, what IS it?" she squealed. "get it OFF me!"
Suzy and Paris came in through the door.
"It's that pervert!" yelled Suzy.
"Kill it!" Shouted Paris. All three of them started to attack the comatosed DDP with whatever kitchin implements they could lay their hands on.
Jeff, Matt, Shane and RVD leaned against the door frame.
"Looks like they caught him." Jeff laughed.
"I almost pity the guy." Jeff smirked.
"Yeah. Almost." All three laughed.
"I'll be going then..." RVD tried to make good his escape. Matt caught him by the sleeve.
"Going so soon? I thought we were gonna have that little chat?"
"Otherwise." Grinned Jeff. "We might have to resort to Plan A, eh fellas?"
"Uh-" RVD sweated. "Maybe I'll just hang around a little longer..."
The sight of a furious double olympic gold medalist wielding a kitchin knife was enough to wake the dead, and it certainly woke DDP, who staggerd to his feet.
"Alright already!" he shouted. "I have had it! I am sick of this story! Does the god damn author have it in for me or something?" (well, DUH!!) "I have had it with being beat up by GIRLS, I have had it with being called IT, and I have had it with YOU!!!" He jabbed his finger at RVD.
"Uh-" RVD stammerd.
"I am tierd of doing your dirty work just so you can get laid!"
"I KNEW IT!" Matt shouted, and RVD dodged out of the way as Matt swung his fist at his head.
"Lies!" He pleaded. He turned to the girls, putting on his best winning smirk. "You believe me, don't you?"
"Oh, Rob!" Paris walked towards him slowley, smiling sweetly, "Do you REALLY mean it?"
"Could you possibly mean" Ro flutterd her eyelashes at him, "That this whole thing was a set up to frame you?" RVD closed his eyes in relief and leaned against the wall.
"I knew you would-" Paris's metal crutch struck him soundly across head, and he flew backwards into Matt. Matt and Jeff delieverd powerful blows to him whilst Suzy leapt into the fray with her breadknife, and Paris and Ro wacked at him with the crutches inbetween shouting 'pervert!' and 'scum!'.
"Okay!" He shouted. "I'm comatosed already!"
"You can't be-' WHACK! "-comatosed-" WHACK! "-if you're-" WHACK! "-still-" WHACK! "-SPEAKING!" He fell to the floor at Paris's last blow.
"What are we gonna do with these two?" Asked Matt, holding DDP by the scruff of his neck.
"There's two others sneaking around as well." added Jeff.
"I think I know exactly what we can do with all four of them...." Suzy grinned.
Please Review!!
Chapter 4
Eeek! What IS it??
"Jerk!" screamed Paris, lashing out. RVD rubbed his head.
"You're really not helping, you know."
Matt eyed him him suspiciously.
"Are you really a doctor?"
"Of course!" RVD glared at him. "And I'd have had the chance to prove it as well if she'd let me anywhere near that ankle!"
"You're HURTING me!" Paris pouted.
"You know, I don't trust you." Matt snarled at RVD.
"The feeling is most certainly mutual."
"That's it!" I'm gonna take you to the mainland to see a REAL doctor!" Matt turned round. Jeff stood up to bar his way.
"Not in THAT you're not!" He gestured out of the window. "That storm's really picking up."
"I guess you'll just have to trust me then," RVD faced Matt.
"Not on your life and not with my girl!" Matt swung round suddenly. "and where do you think YOU'RE going?" Paris was halfway to the door.
"I'm gonna find that little creep who attacked me." She paused. "and then, I'm gonna kill him!"
"No." Said Matt, fimly escorting her back to the bed. "You're gonna lie down here, and you're-"
"-gonna let me take a look at that ankle!" Cut in RVD.
"No, I'm gonna look at it!" Said Matt icily.
"Who's the qualified doctor here?" RVD almost yelled.
"I see no qualified doctors!" Matt shouted. "only QUALIFIED PERVERTS!" He wacked RVD over the head.
Suzy sighed. She really couldn't deal with this tonight. Men could be so bloody STUBBORN! She left them arguing in the hut behind her, and made her way over to her rooms.
Kurt stirred, and his hand immedietley went to his head, where he encounterd dry blood. Dry? He thought. How long have I been lying here? Was- oh no! The girls! He stood up too quickly, and had to lean against a tree to get his balance. He heard raised voices inside the hut in front of him. He slowley and groggily made his way inside. They all stopped and turned to look at him as he enterd.
"Kurt!" Paris exclaimed. "what happend to you?"
"What happend to YOU?!?" He asked, staring at her bandaged ankle. He stopped dead. "YOU!!!" He shouted, staring at RVD. He looked at Paris. "He was going to attack you!"
"No, it wasn't him!" she frowned.
"YOU WERE ATTACKED!?!" Kurt screamed.
"Sit down, Kurt, you look like you hit your head. You sound like it, too."
"No! He also- he hit me over the head! And I saw him staring at you through the window!"
"So, let me get this straight." RVD smirked. "I hit you over the head... whilst I was watching her through the window?"
"You-you had an accomplice!!" Kurt protested.
"Who looked exactly like me?" RVD raised his eyebrows.
"No-I-I-I didn't say that." Kurt sunk into a chair, head buried in hands. How was he going to get them to believe him? If only his memory was clearer, but his brain seemed to have a fog over it. "his accomplice was- small, weedy, kinda creepy." Paris frowned.
"Now that you mention it, that DOES sound like that THING that that attacked me."
"Come on," RVD laughed, "you really think I'm associated with THAT slime ball?"
The 'slime ball' was hiding underneath Suzy's balcony.He was giving Kanyon and Hurricane some pretty hard stares.
"So let me get this straight, guys. You have done... nothing?"
"Well..." Said Kanyon nervously, "We played some cards."
"And watched Kurt Angle get undressed..." Kanyon elbowed Hurricane. "I mean... we scouted out the area."
"You-" Dallas nodded at them both, "Are usless. Wait here." He scrambled and climed untill he was on the balcony railings.
Down on the ground, there was a long silence. Finally Kanyon said,
"Kurt Angle? You told me it was a hot girl!" Hurricane rolled his eyes.
"I was leading you on. You need glasses, citizen Kanyon." There was another long pause.
"I'm getting wet." Observed Kanyon.
"Really?" Hurricane sounded suprised. "oh, I forgot that you do not possess hurri-powers. I'm not even damp." Kanyon glanced at his scepticly.
"Really? You look wet to me."
"Wet, citizen Kanyon, is in the eye of the beholder."
"But your hair's all wet. It's sticking to your head."
"It is of no consequence."
"And your cape is dripping."
"....."
"And your stupid make up is running. It looks even more wussy than usual."
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW?" Hurricane's hands flew to his face. "Come on, lets play some cards."
"What, those ones with the hot babes on them?"
"uh... yeah."
".....You're not telling me those are of Kurt Angle too?"
"....."
"You're sick, you know that? Sick."
DDP sat crouched on the balcony rail. He peered at Suzy through the french windows. If he waited a bit, maybe she'd take some clothes off...
Suzy saw a movement at the window, and paused halfway through unbutonning her blouse.
Dallas caught his breath. He knew he'd been spotted. Time to move...
He leapt at suzy, who screamed, and hit him away with the back of her hand.
"EeeK! What IS it?" DDP rubbed his cheek, more than his ego hurt. He hadn't been expecting this. What he didn't know, and really should have, was that the difference between Paris and Suzy was two olympic gold medals and about 100 pounds. In muscle.
He ran at her, but this time she was ready, and a powerful kick sent him sailing through the windows and over the balcony. He landed on Kanyon and Hurricane.
"Oh well." he murmerd. "least I got a soft landing."
"I'll give you soft landing!" Kanyon snarled, elbowing Dallas in the jaw.
"Superheros-" Grunted Hurricane, hauling himself up and Dallas up with him. "-are not for use-" Dallas dodged a clumsily aimed punch, "-as saftey mats!"
"I see you've failed. Typical." RVD stepped out of the shadows. Kanyon jumped and let out a high pitch squeak.
"Hey, don't creep up on us like that already!" He narrowed his eyes. "and I didn't exactly see you having much luck!"
"Yeah well." RVD growled. "I ran into a few hitches, didn't I?"
"This plan sucks!" whined Dallas. He paused. "Do you know what he said to me? She said- 'Eeek! What IS it?'" Dallas gave a bad impression of a girl's voice. "Why do girls always say that when they see me?"
"Because." snapped RVD. "you're ugly."
"And stupid." added Kanyon.
"And creepy." contributed Hurricane.
"Gee, thanks for the ego boost guys."
"Don't worry." RVD slapped him on the back. "you're right about one thing. This plan DOES suck. AND it's not working."
"So what do we do?"
"We need to accomplish the reason we're here. Revenge on the McMahons!"
The kitchen was cramped with all of them in it, but they had decided to call this emergancy meeting in a hope of deciding what they should do.
"Well?" said Austin, "What should we do? What? I said what shall we do!"
"Are we gonna go home or stick it out here?" Regal asked. RVD leant against the wall, smirking to himself. He eyed the strong looking blond with interest. He wonderd if she was taken?
"We're not going home!" She sounded determined.
"Well, what do we know? What? I said, what do we know? What? I said-"
Matt ignored Austin's derranged schizo ramblings.
"We know that there is some kind of creep on the Island." He wrapped his arm possesivley around Paris. "We don't know what he wants, and we don't know how he got here."
"Talking of creeps," Suzy eyed RVD coldly. "How did YOU get here?" RVD glared back. He was starting to go off her. Looks were all very well, but the edge of spite in her voice wasn't to attractive.
"'Tis a cold woman that you are." Though his words were light, his tone was filled with as much venom as hers had been. "My boat was caught up in the storm and I had to dock it here." He lied easily.
"Well, that dosen't answer the question of what we should do about that slimy little creature that's hanging around" Matt said.
Kurt stirred in his seat on the kitchen counter.
"You got an idea, Jackass?" Asked Austin. Kurt nodded.
"Yipi-" Austin stuck up his hand.
"Shut it kurt."
"-kai-"
"KURT! Now, has anyone ELSE got an idea?" Kurt nodded. Austin sighed. "One more chance, Jackass. Just one." Kurt nodded.
"Let's all just have a warm glass of-"
"KURT!" Kurt looked innocently at the others.
"I was just going to say-"
"Milk. You were going to say milk, right Kurt?"
"No, I was going to say..." Kurt looked around desperatley. "uhh... turtles."
The others all looked at Kurt. There was a long pause. Regal was the first to speak.
"Turtles. A warm glass of....turtles. Thankyou for that great contribution to society."
Austin raised his eyebrows.
"Anyone... sane have an idea?"
"I've got an idea." RVD moved over to Ro and spoke so softley no-one else could hear him.
"Pervert!" Ro slapped him hard.
"What on earth did he say?!?" Shane shouted, rising to his feet. RVD raised his hands in defence.
"Hey, I only said that we should all just go to bed!"
"That's funny." Ro growled. "Cos' I certainly didn't hear any ALL in that sentance when you said it to me!" She turned round to Paris and Suzy. "Come on girls, let's go get some sleep."
The girls left the kitchen, arms linked, Paris limping. RVD scurried after them. Shane waved Matt and Jeff over.
"I really don't trust him." He glared after RVD's retreating back.
"What do you mean?" Jeff looked puzzled. "I haven't noticed him doing anything bad."
"You mean you didn't notice him staring at Suzy?" Asked Matt in mock surprise.
"He-" Jeff looked mad. "he-"
"Yeah." Added Shane, "I think he went off her after she practicly bit his head off." Jeff smirked.
"Even still. We should REALLY do something about him." They turned their heads to the window as they heard one of the girls scream "Eeek! Rob, you pervert! Get off me!", and RVD maniclly laughing in the distance. Jeff raised his eyebrows.
"And soon."
"I dunno." Austin walked over. "I think they're enjoying it. What? After all, why else would they be out there all ALONE with him? Surely not because their boyfriends and husband are in here discussing it instead of-" Matt, Jeff and Shane had alreay left.
The storm howled around the huts, and Paris cuddled closer to Matt.
"Sure has been a long night, huh?" he murmerd into her hair.
"Sure has" she sleepily mumbled "I wonder if that thing's still out there?"
"Probably fell off a cliff or something." He closed his eyes. "let's just get some sleep."
"mmmmm."
Just as she was dozing off, the phone rang. She rolled over, and picked it up.
"murf? Suzy? Yeah, could be. We'd better. See you there. Bye." She rolled back over to face Matt. "That was Suzy. She thinks that that creepy guy might attack Ro next, and she can't defend herself like Suzy can, and Shane, being a pussy, can't protect her all that much. We should really get over to her just in case. We're gonna meet her in the kitchen, ok? She could be in danger!"
Ro hummed to herself as she worked in the kitchen. Shane was asleep, but somehow she just couldn't doze off. So instead she was baking a 48 hour anniversary cake for him. She saw Dallas diving towards her, and swung around. His head made a hollow sound as it made contact with the saucepan in her hand. (why did she have a saucepan for baking a cake? I dunno, I'm not one to assess her culinary skills, ok?)
Matt, Jeff and Shane walked into the storage hut. RVD looked up from crouching on the floor.
"Are you gonna keep me in here forever? I was only having a bit of harmless fun!"
"WITH MY WIFE!!" shouted Shane, baring his fist inces from RVD's face.
"AND MY GIRLFRIEND!!" added Matt. RVD gave them an innocent look.
"I was just getting to know them-"
"ON THE FLOOR?" Jeff hyperventilated. "Is girls ALL you ever think about?"
"Such thoughts are all my head can hold!"
"We came up with a plan." Said Jeff slowly. RVD looked hopeful.
"What?"
"We're gonna kill you." said Matt visciously. RVD pretended to think about it.
"Hmmm... interesting idea, guys. But you know, I might have an alternive that's not so, um, drastic?"
"I dunno." Jeff grinned evily at the others. "I kinda liked our plan, didn't you?"
"Let's just talk about this, guys. Guys?" RVD pleaded.
"Ok." Said Shane. "We'll hear you out." He sniffed the air. "But let's go somewhere that dosen't stink of piss, shall we?"
Dallas crumpled at Ro's feet.
"Ew, what IS it?" she squealed. "get it OFF me!"
Suzy and Paris came in through the door.
"It's that pervert!" yelled Suzy.
"Kill it!" Shouted Paris. All three of them started to attack the comatosed DDP with whatever kitchin implements they could lay their hands on.
Jeff, Matt, Shane and RVD leaned against the door frame.
"Looks like they caught him." Jeff laughed.
"I almost pity the guy." Jeff smirked.
"Yeah. Almost." All three laughed.
"I'll be going then..." RVD tried to make good his escape. Matt caught him by the sleeve.
"Going so soon? I thought we were gonna have that little chat?"
"Otherwise." Grinned Jeff. "We might have to resort to Plan A, eh fellas?"
"Uh-" RVD sweated. "Maybe I'll just hang around a little longer..."
The sight of a furious double olympic gold medalist wielding a kitchin knife was enough to wake the dead, and it certainly woke DDP, who staggerd to his feet.
"Alright already!" he shouted. "I have had it! I am sick of this story! Does the god damn author have it in for me or something?" (well, DUH!!) "I have had it with being beat up by GIRLS, I have had it with being called IT, and I have had it with YOU!!!" He jabbed his finger at RVD.
"Uh-" RVD stammerd.
"I am tierd of doing your dirty work just so you can get laid!"
"I KNEW IT!" Matt shouted, and RVD dodged out of the way as Matt swung his fist at his head.
"Lies!" He pleaded. He turned to the girls, putting on his best winning smirk. "You believe me, don't you?"
"Oh, Rob!" Paris walked towards him slowley, smiling sweetly, "Do you REALLY mean it?"
"Could you possibly mean" Ro flutterd her eyelashes at him, "That this whole thing was a set up to frame you?" RVD closed his eyes in relief and leaned against the wall.
"I knew you would-" Paris's metal crutch struck him soundly across head, and he flew backwards into Matt. Matt and Jeff delieverd powerful blows to him whilst Suzy leapt into the fray with her breadknife, and Paris and Ro wacked at him with the crutches inbetween shouting 'pervert!' and 'scum!'.
"Okay!" He shouted. "I'm comatosed already!"
"You can't be-' WHACK! "-comatosed-" WHACK! "-if you're-" WHACK! "-still-" WHACK! "-SPEAKING!" He fell to the floor at Paris's last blow.
"What are we gonna do with these two?" Asked Matt, holding DDP by the scruff of his neck.
"There's two others sneaking around as well." added Jeff.
"I think I know exactly what we can do with all four of them...." Suzy grinned.
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