Disclaimer - Yes! It is mine! I finally own DragonballZ!!!!! *poof! wakes up*

A/N - This is incredibly stupid. In fact the only reason I'm putting this up is to prove to my friend how stupid this is. Please flame me, I beg of you!

The Popcorn no Ouji
By megami_juhachigou

All of your favorite (and not so favorite) dbz characters are at Kame house (expect for Krillin because he's late) celebrating a momentous occasion: Pokémon the 712th movie is on paper-view! (instead of pay-per-view? Get it? Ha ha…oh well, at sad attempt at best) They were all gathered around the TV, as the previews started.

"Oh!" Bulma shrieked with uncontrolled excitement. "I can't wait!"

"Yeah," Tien agreed, "and I thought I loved Pokémon after the 711th movie!"

"Isn't this the one where Ash reveals that he is a blue-eyed shish-kebab from Mars?" Gohan asked.

Videl nodded. "And Pikachu is his 2 cent crack whore."

"I used to be a crack whore!" Mrs. Briefs squealed, causing Trunks to decide that he was sitting a little too close to his grandmother, and Kame Sennin decided he was sitting a little too far away..

"Sorry I'm late guys," Krillin announced as he came in through the window, "but I forgot to pick up the snacks."

"Hi daddy!" Marron greeted.

"Ooh…" Goku started to drool. "what kinda food did you get?"

"Ya know, normal stuff," Krillin sorted through his bags, "cheetos, pretzels, mountain dew, m&ms, ya know, food stuff."

"Halt right there, short men!" Vegeta suddenly jumped from his seat and pointed at Krillin.

"Look who's talking," Goten whispered to Piccolo.

"This food you have," Vegeta walked over to poor Krillin and picked up the junk food, "is trash!!!!" he flung it out the window. "You call these munchies!!!" The Saiya-jin began to swing his arms around, raving. "What you think this is? The Super Bowl!?!? We're talking about a momentous occasion here!!"

"Jeezus Bejeezus, Vegeta!" (try saying that 5 times fast) Chichi screamed. "It's just food!" Meanwhile, her husband had sneaked outside to get the food now out in the ocean.

"Just food!?" Vegeta turned his attention to the nazi bitch standing beside him. "JUST FOOD!?!?! This is the event of the millennium, and we need important snacks to remember it by!"

Vegeta stepped back, allowing himself to calm down. "I think I'm going to have to make some popcorn."

The entire room was silent for a full moment. They had all heard rumors about Vegeta's popcorn. The fools hadn't thought it to be true. The soft, yellow melted butter, the perfect amount of salt, the fact that not a kernel of un-popped popcorn was ever left at the bottom. It was a myth, a legend, to see it live would be a blessing from the great Kami.

"A-Are you serious? 18 asked. "I mean, are you really going to make…popcorn?"

"Of course." Everyone gasped.

"Well I don't believe it." Yamcha crossed his arms over his chest. "I mean, come on, not a kernel of un-popped popcorn is left at the bottom. It's impossible!"

Vegeta smirked. "Maybe for a human. But my popcorn is deadly." He walked out of the room and into the kitchen, tying an apron around his waist. He got the bag of popcorn from the pantry and walked towards the stove.

At this moment, everyone closed their eyes. It was just too much. Chichi passed out. Trunks and Goten clung onto each other in fright. Yamcha tried to take advantage of the situation to get closer to Bulma but only managed to get kicked in the balls (on accident of course…ehh, who am I kidding).

The sounds and smells of popcorn wafted towards them. The previews had finally ended and the credits started. The kernels started popping. Pu'ar hid under the table. Finally, when they though they would all explode into horrible masses of puss, Vegeta came out with the bowl.

The legendary popcorn was completed!

Everyone dove in. It was amazing! Even better than the prophecies had foretold!

Videl shoveled in handful after salty handful. "Thith eth vey ood."

"Popcorn!" Even Marron was enjoying the event.

Within 5 minutes, the bowl was depleted, but something wasn't right.

"Aha!" Yamcha pointed to the bottom of the bowl. "There's an un-popped kernel!"

"WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Vegeta ran over to look for himself. "No, i-it can't be!"

Sure enough, a single un-popped kernel was left at the bottom. Vegeta was driven nearly to tears.

"Don't feel so bad, Vegeta," Goku tried to cheer the popcorn no ouji up. "Here, I'll eat it." Goku reached his had into the bowl and swallowed the kernel. Unfortunately, he choked on it and fell over dead.

"Yes!" Vegeta cheered. "I finally beat Goku!"

"This is all your fault, Yamcha!" Chichi hit him over the head with a frying pan.

"Oh, come on guys!" Yamcha pleaded. "It was just a joke!"

With that last comment, 18 stood up and sent a ki blast right into Yamcha's face, destroying him instantly. Everyone stared at her for exactly 1.3 seconds before bursting out into laughter.

"I guess you're right, Vegeta," Trunks said between bouts of laughter. "Your popcorn really is deadly."