=====
Diablo 2 and its expansion are not mine. This is kinda like a strategy guide/fanfic worked together. *shrug* Enjoy!
=====
Diablo 2 Workout (Part 2: Suitable Workout Buddies, Act 1)
By Binkari
with a penguin from Gotnks
Workout Buddies: Act 1
---------
All right, you scrawny *bleep*. You think you're hot stuff huh? HUH?! Well, if you think you can handle all the monsters in this level, you're WRONG! Expect to be around level 12 before you are promoted, smart guy.
Quill Rats/Thorn Beast/Razor Spin/Spike Fiend: The Quill rats are your basic whacking target. Fun to chase down, and quite tasty. Don't expect to get very good drops from these, but they're fascination with gold tends to cause them to drop shiny gold pieces. These little guys are also great for practicing Matrix-like dodging skills with their rather slow paced flying quills. Fwooosh.
Zombie/Hungry Dead/The Stinky Man: Slow, cumbersome, knee-slappin' good fun. You could easily out-walk a horde of these (give or take the speedy ones. See what amazing results you get from a workout such as this?). Blunt objects are great for knocking them in half. Some have the skill to have their leg broken off after falling. All make retarded sounds for your workout enjoyment.
Corrupted Rogue/Black Rogue: The prettier bunch of the Act 1 bestiary. Scantily clad, and donning a cap that looks very much like a nun's, these girlies are fully capable of arming themselves with axes, swords, spears, and bows. They can run very well, as you can see from their nice, if not pale, thighs. Quick movers, they be. They're social butterflies too, so if you want to workout with one, expect more.
Fallen/Carvers/Devilkin: Small, colorful, and a great pleasure to whack. So they aren't the bravest of the bunch, but they do have a shaman that can revitalize his buddies (but not you, how rude). If you manage to knock one out with your spiffy moves, you send the rest of the pack running in fear. Of course, they do carry around sharp objects and the shaman thinks he's all that with his little flame-chucker. Show them who's boss. Remember: You don't get credit for working out with the same dudes over and over again.
Skeleton/Returned: A bit faster and less meaty than the zombies, but nonetheless more challenging to workout with. Again, blunt objects like maces, mauls, and your grandma work like a charm.
Moon Clan/Night Clan: Ooo the beefy sorts of the first Act. They carry around big weedwhackers and are a little clumsy, nearly chopping your head off everytime they take a swing at the...uh...grass. Be careful around these guys, they tend to play rough and if some of them gang up on you, well, have fun!
Foul Crows/Blood Hawk/Nests: I've always liked little birdies, but not really these ones. They aren't really buddies, more like a nuisance. They do bleed a lot, so remember to carry around a sponge. I doubt they're doing anything clean in those nests of theirs, seeing as to how more alway keep popping up. Practicing your demolition skills on their pads.
Mishappen/Disfigured/Tainted: Who let the dogs out?! Hell did. Anyways, these little devil puppies run about the gyms like mad. Take them out for a walk, but be careful, they bite. Hit it and they run away like little cowards before turning around. Ok, so maybe they don't look like dogs, more like apes.
Arach: Your mother's nightmares come true. Many legged critters like this are always fun to do leg work with. Sure, they may get confused, but that's half the fun! Make sure that they don't pull a muscle or they'll run away blubbering like a baby and leaving a trail of stickyness behind them.
Gargoyle Traps: More like drinking fountains gone wrong...
Andariel: With the back of a spider, the legs of a cow, and the hair of those little troll dolls, you'll have to get past this buff demonness before I'll let you pass onto the next level. She's not really a lady, as she's not really elegant. She's smelly. Either she doesn't use deodarant (God forbid), or she has gass problems. I'm not sure. She's afraid of fire too. No smoking!
Diablo 2 and its expansion are not mine. This is kinda like a strategy guide/fanfic worked together. *shrug* Enjoy!
=====
Diablo 2 Workout (Part 2: Suitable Workout Buddies, Act 1)
By Binkari
with a penguin from Gotnks
Workout Buddies: Act 1
---------
All right, you scrawny *bleep*. You think you're hot stuff huh? HUH?! Well, if you think you can handle all the monsters in this level, you're WRONG! Expect to be around level 12 before you are promoted, smart guy.
Quill Rats/Thorn Beast/Razor Spin/Spike Fiend: The Quill rats are your basic whacking target. Fun to chase down, and quite tasty. Don't expect to get very good drops from these, but they're fascination with gold tends to cause them to drop shiny gold pieces. These little guys are also great for practicing Matrix-like dodging skills with their rather slow paced flying quills. Fwooosh.
Zombie/Hungry Dead/The Stinky Man: Slow, cumbersome, knee-slappin' good fun. You could easily out-walk a horde of these (give or take the speedy ones. See what amazing results you get from a workout such as this?). Blunt objects are great for knocking them in half. Some have the skill to have their leg broken off after falling. All make retarded sounds for your workout enjoyment.
Corrupted Rogue/Black Rogue: The prettier bunch of the Act 1 bestiary. Scantily clad, and donning a cap that looks very much like a nun's, these girlies are fully capable of arming themselves with axes, swords, spears, and bows. They can run very well, as you can see from their nice, if not pale, thighs. Quick movers, they be. They're social butterflies too, so if you want to workout with one, expect more.
Fallen/Carvers/Devilkin: Small, colorful, and a great pleasure to whack. So they aren't the bravest of the bunch, but they do have a shaman that can revitalize his buddies (but not you, how rude). If you manage to knock one out with your spiffy moves, you send the rest of the pack running in fear. Of course, they do carry around sharp objects and the shaman thinks he's all that with his little flame-chucker. Show them who's boss. Remember: You don't get credit for working out with the same dudes over and over again.
Skeleton/Returned: A bit faster and less meaty than the zombies, but nonetheless more challenging to workout with. Again, blunt objects like maces, mauls, and your grandma work like a charm.
Moon Clan/Night Clan: Ooo the beefy sorts of the first Act. They carry around big weedwhackers and are a little clumsy, nearly chopping your head off everytime they take a swing at the...uh...grass. Be careful around these guys, they tend to play rough and if some of them gang up on you, well, have fun!
Foul Crows/Blood Hawk/Nests: I've always liked little birdies, but not really these ones. They aren't really buddies, more like a nuisance. They do bleed a lot, so remember to carry around a sponge. I doubt they're doing anything clean in those nests of theirs, seeing as to how more alway keep popping up. Practicing your demolition skills on their pads.
Mishappen/Disfigured/Tainted: Who let the dogs out?! Hell did. Anyways, these little devil puppies run about the gyms like mad. Take them out for a walk, but be careful, they bite. Hit it and they run away like little cowards before turning around. Ok, so maybe they don't look like dogs, more like apes.
Arach: Your mother's nightmares come true. Many legged critters like this are always fun to do leg work with. Sure, they may get confused, but that's half the fun! Make sure that they don't pull a muscle or they'll run away blubbering like a baby and leaving a trail of stickyness behind them.
Gargoyle Traps: More like drinking fountains gone wrong...
Andariel: With the back of a spider, the legs of a cow, and the hair of those little troll dolls, you'll have to get past this buff demonness before I'll let you pass onto the next level. She's not really a lady, as she's not really elegant. She's smelly. Either she doesn't use deodarant (God forbid), or she has gass problems. I'm not sure. She's afraid of fire too. No smoking!
