Chichiri's Fanfic No Da! (Under Temporary Authoring Of Nuriko)

"Author's" Notes: Well, I'm done with my homework no da- Urk, it's contagious. The monk has NOT returned with the pizza... Darn. Nuriko-san would like to dedicate this chapter to Lola-san and Purple Mouse-san. ^_^;; Because their fics are great to read and both have an affinity for him ~^

Nuriko's Notes: And who wouldn't? ~^. No, seriously, thank you all for your support ^^. Also, thanks to Zo-chan for helping me with this chapter. ^^.;;;;

{Ok, what're ya gonna #$%^% do!?}

#Must you always use so many expletives, Tasuki? --;#

{...yeah! Hell yeah!}

^See, Tasuki-san believes that language is a beautiful, beautiful painting. And, like all great works of art, it should be painted in full, vivid, color. --;;^

#*chuckles*#

{*too stupid to get it*}

|...*sigh*|

[Oh well... So, Nuriko, what ARE you going to write?]

Well.... I was thinking... ^^.

{Oh shit...}

How does ANGST sound? ^^.

^No long, drawn-out romance? O_o^

A romance? With Red?

#Point...#

^Hey, however unlikely; It doesn't stop people from putting Chichiri-san in romances....^

[You sound like you actually WANT him to write a romance....]

^^.

^Ee...^

--.; I'll pretend I didn't hear that... OK! My turn! ^_^.

~~~Red's Day At School (Cont'd)~~~

Outside the dismal, gray Middle School building, the bleak wind of torment howled mercilessly. Inside, a deeply troubled young maiden paced about, flanked by her two dearest friends.

[Actually, I think Red just met Kate this year...]

~ --. May I please write this?! ~

Pacing back and forth in the ages of turmoil, she cursed the fates that she would have to die like this-

[HEY DON'T YOU KILL HER OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

^O_o^

#Tamahome... PLEASE tell me that you remain true to Miaka...!#

[*looks horrified* Of course! Red owes me MONEY, dammit!!]

#--;#

{So? Go through 'er pockets!}

[Oh yeaaaaah... ^_^]

-at the hands of the dark beings known as the "teachers".

^Everyone has something to say about the education system these days... --;^

~Just like everyone has something to say about my writing!~

^Eep, gomen Nuriko-san!!^

IF those wicked knaves were allowed to have their evil way, Red knew, her tragic history would repeat itself, and her slain family could never be avenged!!!

[Ladies and gents, I give ya the Tragic Past.]

{Whahaha! Time t'burn cliche's!!!}

^ --; ^

She frowned deeply, her eyebrows creasing. Rachel looked upon her with the deep concern only a friend can show.

{Assumin' Red %@$%^ _HAS_ friends. *rolls eyes*}

"What is it?" She whispered. Red let a deep sigh escape her lips...

"It's... Nothing. Nandemorenai..."

It had been... Four years. Four horrid, unbearable years since The Accident.

^Proper Noun.^

~Hey, I DARE you guys to stop making comments every three lines!!!~

{BUAHAHAHA!! AS I-!}

~*POW!!!*~

[Oo]

#Oo#

{O______________O}


~ OK, we'll continue now. ^^.~

|Er...|


The accident that had villanously robbed her of her family...

*FLASHBACK*

"They're here! They're here!" Horrified shrieks rang out through the village as it came, the death on the black wi nd. "They've come for us!!!"

#Wait just a moment, Nuriko...#

~Haaaaai Hotohori-sama?~

*pause*

[So where's Hibana-chan's remark about how it's fine for HOTOHORI-SAMA to interrupt?!]

{*making a "wall angel"*}

[Ah. *smirk*]

#Er, why would Red live in a village? Is this not the twenty-first century? I mean, with a school....#

~Alternate universe.~

#Uh?#

^It would be a world where Red would still have her public school and anime, in this case, but there could be villages and peasants, etc.^

#Ne, Doushite ka? That doesn't make too much sense... You'd think that you could at least be not so lazy as to abide by the rules of the universe...#

[Hey, if other guys do it!]

~Hai! ^^.~

The pitiful young Red turned her horrified wide eyes, filled with youthful innocence, [*snorts* Like she was ever innocent] up to her mother, the woman sobbing furiously into her husband's shoulder.

"W-we shouldn't h-have hung uuuuup!" She wailed over the roar of the fire, the roar of the attackers, the roar of the attacks, the roar of Death. Red's father stroked his wife's back gently with a trembling hand.

"There there, it isn't our fault that those rotten bastards always called at exactly dinner time..."

Red'sOkaasan continued to bawl, when suddenly....

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!*

"They're here!" Red'sOutousan hissed at his daughter through gritted teeth. "Red-chan, hide!!"

"ALL RIGHT, THIS IS AT&T!!!"

^...^

"Nooooooooooo~!!!"

The three Seiryu Telemarketers, dressed in their dark armor, quietly entered the hut. Red gave a terrified squeak and buried herself among the thatch bed. But it did not stop the sounds from coming... Oh those horrid sounds!! ~*sniff*~

Conversation shot back and forth, a blur.

"Only five cents a minute!

"Never, slime!"

"For thirty minutes!"

"Ghaaa~!"

"ALL YEAR!"

A crash!

"Die weakling!!"

*SLASH!!*

"NOOO~! NO INTEREST! THE RATES!! THE RAAAAAAAAAAATES BUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!"


Slashing, weaving, crashing.

And then, all was silent.

When a tearful, fearfilled Red-chan emerged from beneath the bed, all she saw was a sea of blood, her mother and father torn, pierced in a thousand places...

By dimes...

Dimes? But surely, 'twas AT&T who had caused this massacre!

Yet... The inhumane battlecry rang out over the burnt Earth, sending not merely a chill, but a rage down Red's spine. Cruel, hardened voices, chanting...

"C-O-L-L-E-C-T! SAVE A BUCK OR TWO OR THREEEE~!!!"

*To Present*


#...#

^...^

[...]

{...}

|...|

{ALL RIGHT WHAT THE HELL WAS _THAT_?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}


~Urk, well, I was sort of out of ideas, soooooooo I had to use one of Red's friend's! ^^.;~

|If I recall correctly, all that Zo-chan said was a comment about "telemarketers". --|

{Hey, if 'e actually opened 'is #$%#$^% MOUTH, it MUST be DAMN important. X}}

|--'|

^I was there too; It was Nuriko-san who *coughs* "expanded" on the concept.^

~I call it drama. --.;~

[I call it stupid.]

~*POW!!!!*~

[O_O]

{*snicker*}

#...*sigh*... Carry on, Nuriko. --;#

~Hai Hotohori-sama! ^_^.~

"So, what are we going to do?" Asked Kate as she turned her gaze toward their leader.

{Wait; Red is the "leader" of 'er friends becaaaaaause....?}

[Hey, if they're dumb enough to be her friends...]

~Now Red likes her friends very much. --.;~

Red continued to stare out at the howling sky.

"We call..."

Cringe.

"The Others."










[*coughs* WELLLLLLLLLL?!]

{Who the $%#%^ are "The Others"!?!!!!!!!!}

~...I dunno... ^^.;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;~

#*facefault*#

~HOTOHORI-SAMA! .;~

{THAT wasn't graceful. *smirk*}

~*POW!!!*~

{O________________O}

^ I honestly wonder who posed more of a threat sometimes: The Seiryu Shichiseishi or Nuriko...? ^

~Mooooou! . We have Mitsukake, tho. ^^.~

[...who died for some kid in the middle of a war where he coulda been USEFUL to save us all....]

|--;|

~It was SHOUKA, people. And love conquers all. ^_^. *eyes glitter* Besides, he'd already let her die twice!~

[Third time's the charm. *snicker*]

~HEARTLESS JERK!!!! *POW!!!*~

[O__________________O]

#...*quietly* We need a restraining order on him....#

~Mooou, I'm all right. ^^.~

^...you know, if Mitsukake had thought of his duty as a Suzaku Shichiseishi and spared his own life.... Wouldn't Hotohori-sama have lived...^

#...#

|...|

~...~

((Anou, I think it's good I came back when I did no da! ^_^))

^ *relieved* Chichiri-san!^

((No da. ~^ *turns on the lights*))

Tasuki: *embedded in a wall*

Tamahome: *twirling around on a ceiling fan*

Hotohori: *looking sincerely afraid*

Nuriko: *beating the Tasuki-word out of Mitsukake*

Mitsukake: *staring blankly, but what else is new?*

Chiriko: *sweatdropping*

Chichiri: *sweatdrop* Daa... What happened na no da? *sets the pizza down*

Red: *appears* PIZZZZAAAAAAAAA!!! *attacks it ravenously*

All: *sweatdrop*

Red: *between mouthfuls* So *much* 'sup in the fic?

Nuriko: Eeeer..... ^^.;;;; *goes back to hurting Mits (which is fun to say!)*

Chiriko: *thinking quickly* Chichiri-san has to come up with who "The Others" are in the next chapter!

Chichiri: I do no da? *leans over and scans the document, turning some interesting shades of various colors of the spectrum as he does so* D...da.... OO;;;;;;;;;;;

Hotohori: *coughs*

Chichiri: Ahem! Sou ka!! ^^;;;; I'm a bit low on ideas myself no da. ^_^;;; Anyone have suggestions na no da?

Chiriko: Why don't we let the reviewers decide what happens next, ne?

*pause*

Chiriko: I thought I was the *smart* one... -_-;;;;

Red: GENIUS!! ^_^! All right reviewers, what do you want to happen next in this fic about.... Hey, what IS it about?

Chichiri: ^^;;;;;;;;;;;; Daaaaaaaaaaa~....

Chiriko: *flatly* Sir Walter Raleigh.

Red: AGAHAAAAAAAAAAAA~!!!!!!!!!! *disappears*

Hotohori: OO;; M-my... Suzaku... Who on Earth is that man?

Chiriko: Great figure in the history of the early settlement of America. --; Red normally likes Social Studies but...

Nuriko: *sweatdrop*

Chichiri: *coughs* All right then, sou ka no da! ^_^;; I suppose you decide what happens next no da. ^_^ Just say in the review no da, and we'll give credit to whoever we pick in the next chapter na no da!!

Chiriko: Gambatte ne!!!


....


....they'll need it. Oo;

~^