Disclaimer: check the other chapters....
Dedication: To Ashbear for reviewing chapter 2 early!!! Thank you!! that gave a huge vote of confidence to me!!! and for helping me with my writers block!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH ASHBEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AND THANK YOU SQUALL41269!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~*Touching A Heart*~
Chapter 2: Journal of thoughts pt.2
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After that almost helpful conversation with Selphie. Rinoa returned to her room, and tried to fall asleep but while she was in her bed she couldn't stop staring at the disk that rested in the computer. It taunted her. 'C'mon and read me!' it taunted her, 'he'll never know, it will be our secret,' it said trying to seduce her. She gave in, she sat up and walked to the computer absent mindedly. Turned the computer on, and the journal automatically showed up. it read:
'I wonder if she knows that I love her? I guess I'll never know, very sad to think about it. Hyne, I hate myself, y? for being so rude, never open minded, selfish, never caring or giving a shit, touchy, a jack ass, and pretty much any other swear word. Rinoa, if you are reading this come and knock on my door and yell that I'm a jack ass and I'll thank you cause it's true. Want to hear my romantic fantasies? Why of course you do: Candle light dinners in the plains, romantic dinners at a restaurant in Balamb, walking hand in hand, kissing in front of many people, and oh gosh, marriage. Hey! Why am I thinking like this!? I'm supposed to be the gruff and mean one, Squall the lionhearted, that's who I am, or maybe I have changed? Have I? It's hard to tell. Especially when all I have is this stupid computer to talk to. I have never actually had a serious chat with someone about my feelings, never. Am I waiting for something or someone to come along and talk with me? Doesn't matter, I'll just end up pushing them away, far away, to the dark corners of my mind....never to speak with them again. Rinoa, I know-'
But she was interrupted from her concentration by a knock from the door. 'At this hour!?' she thought as she looked to the door in disgust, but when she looked to the clock it read 8:30, 'that's strange,' she thought, "Who is it!?" she called out.
"It's Selphie!" Rinoa sighed with relief.
"Come in!" she called back to her, Selphie quickly let herself in, grabbed Rinoa's hand and dragged her to the bed.
"We need a chat!" she said to Rinoa in hurry.
"Can this wait?" she said nodding her head in the direction of the computer with Squall's journal on it.
"What is that?" Selphie asked getting up and slowly moving to the computer, "is it your confession to Squall on how much your in love with him!?"
"Shut up!" Rinoa yelled to her playfully while pulling her down to the bed where she just was, "it's none of your business!" she said holding Selphie down, 'nor is it mine' she thought as a wave of guilt crushed her.
"Okay!" she said in her o so cheerful way, she got up from the bed and calmly walked to the door, but instead off going to the door she made a quick leap to the computer, "'I wonder if she knows that I love her? I guess I'll never know, very sad to think about it. Hyne, I hate myself, y? for being so rude, never open minded, selfish, never caring or giving a shit, touchy, a jack ass, and pretty much any other swear word. Rinoa, if you are reading this come and knock on my door and yell that I'm a jack ass and I'll thank you cause it's true.'" she read aloud as her voice began to die as she read through the story, "Oh God, this is Squall's isn't it?" she asked her pirky mood quickly being destroyed, she looked to Rinoa. She just nodded, "You have to give it back to him!" she told Rinoa.
"Let me decide how I'm going to approach him, then I'll give it back, ok?" she asked for approval.
"okay, as long as you give it back!" she said as she walked out of the door and shut it. Rinoa ripped the disk from the computer and threw it in the garbage.
"I can't read this anymore!" Rinoa reminded herslef, "I want our love to be based on trust and feelings, not stupid text!" she yelled as she slammed her foot into the garbage can obviously crushing the disk that held the journal. She began heavily and deeply, "I have an idea!" she exclaimed as she ran to the computer.
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Well? What did you think? This is going to be the next to final chapter, sorry.....I know peeps like this and all, but it's getting hard to think of what Squall would put in his 'journal'....
R+R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
