A few hours later, Don Vicente roared with laughter after Diego made a droll comment

A few hours later, Don Vicente roared with laughter after Diego made a droll comment.  "Diego!  You and my daughter are two of the smartest people I know.  You both seem to be well beyond us average mortals!"

Diego blushed and glanced down to look at his hands.  He gently patted the neck of the great stallion beneath him.  Diego knew he was intelligent:  His professors had often assigned him extra projects to tax his mind, and his tutor had been teaching him university-level material before he even left home.  "Don Vicente, I don't think--"

Don Vicente waved his hand.  "Oh, I know you don't see yourself as anything special.  There's a modesty about you I like, Diego.  Your father raised you right."

Diego was pleased with the compliment.  "Thank you, Señor.  I'll be sure to let Father know you're pleased with his parenting skills," he teased.

"Oh, your Father knows my opinion of you, Diego!  We've talked about you a lot," Don Vicente replied.  Diego raised his eyebrows.  "Don't look so surprised, my son.  You should know by now that children are a parent's favorite subjects!  You and Maria--you're our pride and joy, Diego, as well as our futures.  Alejandro is very proud of you, you know."

Diego looked back down at his hands, which were gently grasping the reins of his horse.  "I'm afraid you are wrong, Don Vicente.  I've been a huge disappointment for him."  He did not know why he was having this discussion with his father's friend, but he was glad to be able to talk to someone about Don Alejandro.

Don Vicente's smile was big, but then most things about him were.  "I'm afraid you are wrong, Diego."  He shook his head when Diego opened his mouth to protest.  "He's told me a lot more than you think, my boy.  I know he's yelled at you, and called you names.  He's ashamed of himself for it.  Don't get me wrong, Diego.  Alejandro de la Vega is a man of passion and a man of action.  It's what I like about him!  He would love for you to be like him, but he knows you are who you are.  And what you are is a good man, Diego, a man that any father can be proud to call son.  I know that for a fact, because I would love to call you 'son' myself."

It took Diego a moment to realize what the other man was saying.  "Ah, Don Vicente, I--" he began to stutter.

The other man laughed at his twisted tongue.  "Oh, Diego, I know that you aren't in love with my daughter, and she isn't in love with you!  However, I do think she is starting to believe she is.  I know about how Alejandro raised you.  I've heard about your mother, and I know how much your father loved her."

Diego closed his eyes at the thought of his mother.  Sometimes, he had a hard time picturing her face, but he always remembered her love for him and his father.  Diego finally looked over at Don Vicente, whose eyes expressed his sympathy.  "Your father raised you with the belief that marriage is based on love.  Having a marriage based on love is special.  I know.  Mine was, too.  It is."

He reined his horse to a stop.  Diego's stallion stopped beside his.  Tears shined in Don Vicente's eyes.  "It is a wonderful experience, Diego.  Even though some things went wrong, I wouldn't change the choice I made when I married my lady.  However, let's be honest.  Most marriages in our class are entered into because of shared interests, economics, or both.  You and Maria have more in common with each other than anyone else you've probably ever met, and our lands share a common border."

"Don Vicente, I am honored," Diego said sincerely.

Turning in his saddle, Don Vicente shook his head.  "Don't, Diego!  Please think about it first, before you give me an answer.  I think a marriage between you and Maria would be a good one, a happy one.  Your father told me that there is no one you are romantically attached to, and I am hoping that you will consider the possibility."

There is no one you are romantically attached to.  The words echoed in Diego's mind.  Until yesterday, they had been a lie, a mistaken impression his secret forced him to give to others.  Now, he was unsure.  His heart belonged to Victoria, but she claimed her heart had never been his.  Lost in thoughts of his raven-haired beauty, he answered Don Vicente without thought.  A small part of him flinched in horror as he said, "I will think about it."

"Wonderful!  I'm thrilled that you are willing to at least consider it.  We both know Alejandro's anxious for grandchildren!"  Don Vicente said with his usual booming laugh.

Diego also laughed, but it held an edge of hysteria in it, at least to his own ears.  Ever since he had awakened this morning, he felt remarkable detached from his own life.  It was as if he was a spectator who was only mildly interested in the events unfolding in the play.  "Yes, he is often saying 'I want babies, Diego.  Babies!'"  Laughing with Don Vicente, he wondered if he ever would feel joy again.

***

That night, Victoria felt him watching her before she saw him.  Inhaling deeply, she tried to prepare herself for the inevitable confrontation.  At least he had given her last night to collect herself.  She should be able to do it tonight.  It would be simple.  Hard, so very hard to do, but simple in execution. 

Victoria smiled sadly as she thought about the pep talk she had given herself for most of the week.  It was not as though he was the first man she had stopped courting.  He's the first man you've ever been in love with, whispered a treacherous voice in her mind.  It was a voice she was beginning to hate.  Feeling her heart clinch, she quickly gave orders to herself.  Oh, no.  Remember the story.  You were never in love with him.  It was only infatuation.  Don't think.  Don't feel.  Just do.

"Goodnight, Señor," she said in a cheerful voice as her last customer left. Please, don't go!  I'll have to talk to him now! It was an odd occasion when she was able to close the tavern early like she was tonight.  Close the tavern early and break his heart, she thought.  For him.  Don't think.  Don't feel.  Just do.

"Victoria," she heard his voice say from the shadows.  He had always been in the shadows for her until last week--a man of mystery.  Forcing herself to turn, she felt as if her all her actions were painfully slow.  "Be an actress!" a voice echoed in her mind, and she only barely managed to keep herself from shuddering at the thought it.

"Zorro," she said coolly, refusing to notice the pain in his eyes.  "You really shouldn't be here.  The alcalde has ordered all of his men out on heavy patrol tonight."

"I know.  He's worried about the Mendez gang," Zorro admitted as he stepped out of the shadows.  His eyes moved up and down, drinking in the sight of her.  Victoria's heart quickened as it had so many times before in his presence.  Don't think.  Don't feel.  Just do.

Victoria started to clear off a dirty table; her actions were dictated by habit instead of thought.  She nodded as she struggled to think about what to say.  "As well he should be!  The Mendez gang was sighted four miles from here by Don Luis."  Amazement at her words filled her.  How could she worry about a murderous gang being nearby when her heart was breaking?

She walked around the bar and placed the dirty dishes onto a tray.  Placing his hands on her shoulders, he stepped closer to her.  She tensed at his touch, and he quickly removed them.  Don't let me go!  "Victoria," he said softly in her ear.  His voice was painful for her to hear; his pain cried out to her from it. For him, she reminded herself.  She took a deep breath and set her shoulders straight.

"I'm sorry, Zorro.  I--," Victoria stopped talking for a moment, unable to say the words.  "I know you have heard by now what I said in the tavern yesterday, and I'm sorry, but it's true.  I do not love you.  I don't I think I ever did," she finished, forcing herself to look him in the eyes.

The pain in his eyes . . . "Victoria, you cannot mean that!  You promised to wait--"

Shaking her head, Victoria felt as if she was falling apart into a million pieces.  "I'm sorry.  I don't love you, and I don't want to marry you."  She tugged on a small black bag hanging from her skirt, and poured its contents into her hand.  It was a beautiful ruby ring, the one Zorro gave her on the day he proposed.  His mother's ring, he had told her.  She held it out to him, her hand trembling.

He stared at her, as if frozen in place.  He was confused and hurt, and she believed, in his heart, he knew she loved him.  It was why he was having a hard time understanding her words, understanding why she was lying.  For his sake, she prayed that he would believe her lies one day.

The alcalde's voice interrupted their silent battle.  "Sergeant, I want you to check the tavern!"  Fear for Zorro's safety consumed her.  Would he allow the alcalde to capture him, in his pain?

She extended her hand father away from her, closer to him.  "Take it and go!  Mendoza will be knocking on my door any minute, and he cannot find you here," she ordered.  Please go.  Please, she pleaded with him silently. 

However, he did not move.  She walked closer and put the ring in his hand, curling her fingers, making his hand clutch the ring.  "I still believe in what you do.  You can depend on my help, and we'll always be friends," she whispered, knowing that she was lying.  They could never be friends.  What they felt was too intense for friendship.

A loud knock rattled the door and Victoria's nerves.  "Friends," Zorro echoed.  He knew they could never be just friends either.

"Friends," Victoria lied again.  She wanted him away from her.  She wanted him safe.  After kissing him on the cheek, she turned and began walking towards the door, hoping it would motivate him to leave.  When she grasped the block of wood locking the door, she felt him leave the room and enter the kitchen.  He was leaving, and Victoria let herself breath again.  Don't think.  Don't feel.  Just do. 

She opened the door with a large smile on her face.  "Don Rafael--" she began.  "Oh, Mendoza!  I thought you were Don Rafael.  I'm sorry, but I am closed for the night."  If her face was following her orders, she looked like a woman without a care in the world.  "Be an actress," the hateful voice echoed in her mind.

Mendoza looked startled at her behavior.  "Don Rafael?"

Stepping back, Victoria motioned for him and his men to enter.  "It looks like you are here on official business, Sergeant.  I was expecting Don Rafael, because we had a date to walk in the moonlight."

The lancers looked at each other in amazement.  Only Mendoza had nerve to question her statement.  "You have a date?  With Don Rafael?"

Victoria acted insulted, putting her hands on her hips.  "Be an actress," the voice echoed.  "Don Rafael happens to find me very attractive and thinks I have a nice personality!"

"Oh," Mendoza stuttered.  He'd apparently realized he had insulted the best cook in the territory.  "I didn't mean---I mean--Well, I thought that you and Zorro--"

"Zorro and I have nothing, Mendoza.  Nothing," she assured him.  Her heart throbbed in protest.  "Surely, you've heard what I said yesterday?"

Mendoza nodded.  "Everyone did."

Victoria found herself actually smiling at the thought, even through her pain.  There were no secrets in a small pueblo after all, and it had been more than twenty-four hours she had made her announcement.  It had probably been all over the territory by dinnertime yesterday.

"But even the alcalde didn't believe it," he finished.

"I'm afraid he's going to have to believe it, because it's true," she snapped.  "Why are you here, Sergeant?  I am expecting someone!"

"I'm afraid we are going to have to look for Zorro, Señorita Victoria."

Her lips twisted into a smile.  "You think Zorro is here?"

"He was spotted earlier, and the alcalde ordered us to check every building, beginning with this one," Mendoza told her quickly.

Victoria pointed to the stairs.  "Feel free to look, Mendoza.  I have no customers, so you can feel free to enter all the rooms, but please hurry.  Don Rafael will be here any minute."

Mendoza nodded, a frown on his face.  ", Señorita.  We will be quick."  The lancers followed him up the stairs to check.  Victoria looked back at the colorful curtain between her and the kitchen, somehow knowing that he was still in there, listening to what she had said.  So, he knew about her date with Don Rafael.  Victoria began trembling, even as she told herself it was for the best.  She could not believe that lie, though, no matter how many times she said it. 

Mendoza and his lancers walked back down the stairs, every one of their eyes focused on her.  She gave them a bright smile as she hugged herself.  "No Zorro up here," Mendoza told her pleasantly.  "We just need to check the kitchen."

"Oh, Mendoza, you will do anything to get into my kitchen," she teased.  She could feel Zorro leaving.  Be careful, my love, she thought.

Mendoza's embarrassed grin let her know she was right.  As if she had any doubts about his interest in her kitchen!  "It is the best in the territory.  Even the de la Vegas' pales in comparison," he admitted.  He signaled his lancers to go search the kitchen.

"Victoria, are you all right?  You don't look so good," Mendoza said quietly, so the lancers wouldn't over hear.  He was a dear friend.  He might wear the uniform of a soldier, but his heart was large.

She smiled at him, proud that her lips did not tremble.  "I'm fine.  Just nervous about my date tonight," she reassured him.  Mendoza frowned, and opened his mouth to say something else, when a knock on the door stopped him.  "That will be Don Rafael," she told with a grin.  She forced herself to walk with a bounce over to the door.  She imagined it was he on the other side.  "Be an actress."

***

Later, Victoria sank against her bedroom door.  Finally, she was alone.  For the first moment since the early morning, she was by herself.  Her mind had screamed for a second to think ever since she returned Zorro's ring to him, but life had been cruel to her.  It demanded that she flirt and tease with Don Rafael, and insisted that she ignore the prying eyes of the alcalde, even as she played to her audience.  Fortunately, Don Rafael had just laughed as the alcalde not so subtly placed lancers around the plaza to watch their moonlight stroll.  He was a good man full of fun and laughter.  He would make someone a wonderful husband one day.

Husband.  Zorro was supposed to have been her husband one day.  Instead, a few hours earlier, she had returned his mother's ring.  She broke his heart as she broke her own.  It was for him, she tried reassuring herself. 

Suddenly, intense pain shot through Victoria.  She gasped as the ache increased.  So this is what a broken heart feels like, she thought, doubling over.  Having been in shock for most of the week, she had simply moved through each day, unable to cry or mourn.  Her denied emotions were making themselves felt tonight, though.  She sat down on the floor, drew her knees tight to her body, and rocked herself, in an effort to forget the agony.  Tears streamed down her face, falling onto her skirt.  Through blurry eyes, she watched as the wet spot grew.  "I'm so sorry, Diego.  So sorry," she whispered, knowing she would never be able to say the words to him.  "I do love you; I have always loved you."