::Authors notes: Sorry it took so long to write Part duex. Been busy moving and all. I have
gotten a few reviews from a couple confused readers. I know Christian was never the one for
revenge. That's why I put it in there. Cut me some slack. I only saw the movie once.::
Part II - Will Drive You, Will Drive You, MAD
---
"Are you mad Christian? He will tear you apart. If he is having men come after you and kill you,
what makes you think you two will be alone during this duel?"
I sat in the chair tying on my typewriter a final letter to Satine. Every word I typed sent
sharp pains into my heart. My arms yearned to hold her and my lips ached to taste her lips once
again. She would never read this letter I know but still, it was a closure for me. When she
was to be buried, I wanted it to go with her. That way my final thoughts and feelings go with
her.
"My beloved Satine,
You are never to read this letter but the thought of it going into the afterlife with
you is all I can do to say goodbye. You never did deceive me, you believed me when I said I
love you. And I turned my back on you and let you die in the duke's arms instead of my own. I
should never have let myself become so jealous. Please forgive me Satine. I never felt so
relieved in my life when you came rushing back into my arms telling me you couldn't do it and
that you loved me and you wanted to leave with me. I was foolish to even believe you when
you said you didn't love me. So there you are. I knew the moment I saw you that I wanted to be
with you. Your eyes, your energy, and you desperate cry for someone to love you whispered out
to me. Come what may my dearest Satine. I will get revenge for you. Even if I die trying.
I love you with all my heart and soul. Death is only the beginning of our love. I will love
you until my dying day.
Yours Forever,
Christian"
I ripped the short letter from my typewriter and folded it into my pocket. I wiped the tears
from my eyes as my heart sank onto the floor beneath me. The time was coming soon when I would
be seen in a totally different way. No longer would I be seen as a penniless poet.
"Look Zidler. Satine is dead and it's because of me. Do you enjoy seeing her rot in his bed
instead of being buried like she deserves? He needs to pay for all the trouble he has caused
the Moulin Rouge and us. Look Zidler. Your precious Moulin Rouge is falling apart. Your
prostitutes and Can-Can girls are leaving in rapid numbers afraid to end up like Satine. The
Duke will eventually steal everything away from you and you will be lying in the streets of
Paris somewhere."
I tuned away from him running my fingers through my hair. I dreamt a daydream earlier today. A
dream that everything was normal again. A dream that sent my mind far beyond reality, and back
again quicker then a flash of lightning. Satine and I could be together with no worries and
that she wasn't sick. Endless nights of lovemaking and just holding each other. A tear came to
my eyes as I stared out the window into the storm clouds that had gathered. Those clouds
represented my pain. Dark, dreary, and full of sadness. Just like those clouds brought on the
fear of rain, my sorrow brought on fear of tears.
I glanced in the mirror for the first time in days. I needed a shower and I needed to shave.
'What for?' I asked myself. 'I have no one to impress or to care what I look like anymore.' I
shook my head away in disgust and sat down on the windowsill. If Satine were alive, she
wouldn't care what I looked like. Only that I was happy. And all I would care about were if
she were happy in return. But those feelings have long since left me. All I felt now was the
need to avenge her death in anyway I could.
"Alright Christian." Zidler left my room in a fast pace and slammed the door shut behind him
causing me to jump. I didn't jump from the sound, I jumped as my head was pulled out of the
clouds and I remembered that there was someone else in the room along side of me. He knew what
I had said was the truth. He was loosing everything right under his nose. I laughed to myself
as the rain began to fall onto the slowly deteriorating Moulin Rouge. 'Truth, Beauty, Freedom
and above all things Love.' I repeated inside my head over and over again. The reflection of the
rain from the window onto my face mixed in with the tears that made their way down my dirty
cheeks leaving streaks. I looked at the Moulin Rouge and wished that once again that nothing
had happened. The windmill has slowed down its pace, the people stopped coming in large numbers,
Satine's dressing room was being torn down, and all the while everyone still had some hope that
it would remain as festive as usual. Including myself. I heard the clock chime six p.m. It was
evening now. I laced on my shoes and headed over to the once bright and colorful stage. Fear
pumped through my veins. I feared I would not be able to avenge Satine. I was more excited
then afraid. The stage that once held the play of her death now sat in sheets and windows were
boarded up. Too many memories flooded into my head at once. I clutched onto my head as I made
my way up the stage steps. My stomach began to dance inside of me. My heart felt as if though
it were about to beat out of my chest.
"Too much stress for you boy?" I whipped around to barely see the duke standing in front of me.
The room was spinning so fast. I could barley stand up. I shook my head trying to shake
whatever it was I had away. My eyes were getting blurry as I was beginning to have double
vision. I could barely keep the saliva from falling out of my mouth. Sweat poured down my
forehead and onto my cheeks as one of my arms began to go numb.
"Go to hell." I said with my eyes rolling into the back of head as my mouth got dry and my lips
began to chap. My hair was sticking to my face as the sweat saturated my whole body. "All I
want is to see you dead and rotting in your own damn bed."
"Such violent words Christian. How do you expect to kill me if you can't even stay on your own
two feet?" Without realizing it, I was on my knees spitting and rocking back and forth.
"Erik, John, Bring her to me." I collapsed on the floor and could only stare at the Dukes shoes
as he walked forward to me making tsk tsk noises. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I
like this? It was as if the Duke read my mind when he began to speak.
"Are you wondering why you are sick my dear boy? I will tell you why. Your pathetic
sensitivity towards Satine's death has taken over your body. Your lack of food, water, and
sleep has made you dehydrated and weak. You couldn't raise a gun in your hands if you had to.
I wont fight you while you are down. It would be too easy." I saw the two men hand the duke
something. I blinked my eyes slowly and licked my lips. If I could only reach up and break his
neck. The sound of his bones cracking within my grasp would ease up the pain that was rushing
throughout my entire body.
I jumped when I heard a loud thud as something landed down next to me. I opened my eyes enough
to look into Satine's. Rage, fear and sadness raced into my eyes. My heart turned black and
cold as the blood rushed into my head.
"Oh god no please.." I broke down in tears. He even re-opened her eyes and threw her down next
to me like a rag doll. If Satine were to be a doll she would be a china doll kept in a glass
box. But no, right now she is a dead woman being treated as if though she were sown together
for a child.
"And for future reference Christian. I thought she was beginning to get a little fat backstage.
Your precious Satine was with child. Your, child." A smirk crawled upon his face. His eyes
bore through me as if I were transparent. Only his eyes could bring a look of coldness colder
then the artic.
I slammed my head onto the stage desperately trying to move my body away from hers. My hand
throbbed with pain as I used it to scoot myself away. I couldn't be near her. The look in her
eyes frightened me. Her eyes told me that she died in fear, and in regret. My heart could no
longer take the abuse. 'My child.' I thought. My baby was growing inside of her. I wish I
would have known if it were a girl or boy. I could feel my heart stop as my breathing slowed
down to a few quick breaths every few seconds. Was I dying? Was I dying from a broken heart?
If this is what love is supposed to be like then I don't want it. I don't want to love someone
so much and have them die, carrying my child. What did I have to live for? I left my home to
find freedom. All it has gotten me is jealousy, hate, and anger. A poet? A writer? What the
hell was I?
My hearing began to fade. I could hear nothing but mumbling and footsteps walking off the
stage. I could feel the vibrations of her body being dragged off the stage. I was glad they
were taking her. I would rather have died on that stage then have her lying next to me. Her
hand grazed mine. It was cold. Cold enough to send shivers down my spine and goose bumps along
my arms. He stopped her other hand in front of my face. I lightly kissed her hand. "A kiss on
the hand Satine." I whispered before falling unconscious once again.
---
I once again awoke in my bedroom. Suddenly it turned from Satine and I's bedroom back to mine.
I began to face reality and realize that she was dead. Although everywhere I looked around in
the room, I felt her. Her joy, her passion, her energy, and I could hear her laughter, and her
midnight cries of pleasure. Her hair so soft, like silk sliding between my fingers. Her skin
as clear and smooth as a marble. I licked my lips remembering her luscious lips and what they
had tasted like. Everything about her surrounded me and flooded my head. It was more then I
could bear.
I sat alone in that dark room. I was a fool to think I could win over the duke after days of
malnutrition and lack of sleep. The pain shooting through my hand when I fell onto the stage
was a reminder to me why Zidler had said not to go so soon. But I wouldn't listen. Of course
everyone had wanted revenge on the Duke for what he had done to her right before the show
started, but they all blame me for breaking her heart and leaving the Moulin Rouge. What about
me? She acted as if she didn't love me and broke MY heart. I only did what she acted like she
wanted me to do. I was furious. Furious at Satine, at myself at the whole damned Moulin Rouge.
"DAMN YOU SATINE!" I yelled out uncontrollably. I buried my head into my palms and began
sobbing. My sobs could be heard down the hall. My cries were of hatred and pain. No one could
understand how I was feeling at that moment. Not even Satine could have.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I whispered into the wind in between sobs. Nothing on earth at
that moment mattered. Not even when I looked up to find one of the Dukes men in front of me
holding a gun to my face.
"Shoot." I looked the man into his eyes and pleaded with him to pull the trigger. I didn't
want to live anymore taking the chance of finding someone else and loosing them too. I don't
think I could ever love again after Satine. No one could replace her. She was my world.
Everything I could possibly need in life rested in her hands. I wanted him to shoot. It would
end my pain and suffering. My heart would no longer rip apart minute by minute, and I would be
with her again.
"Shoot god damn you!" I grabbed the gun and held it to my forehead as the tears streamed down
my cheeks. I wanted nothing more then to die. I wanted to be with her again. Why wasn't he
shooting?
"No. The Duke wants this settled once and for all. Take this gun and use it yourself." The
gun landed hard on my lap as the man fixed the collar of his coat and walked out my door. I
rubbed my fingers along the handle still warm from the man. I picked it up and cocked it. I
held it to my head and pulled the trigger. 'Yes! I am coming Satine!' were the thoughts that
ran through my head at that moment.
The gun wasn't loaded much to my dismay. I put the gun under my pillow and closed my eyes. I
dreamt loving dreams of Satine. Maybe this was someone's way of telling me to overcome all
obstacles like I had once said. Maybe this was someone's way of saying that I must avenge her.
Will this pain ever go away? Please someone tell me. Tell me that my heart will mend and it
will beat again in its normal rhythm. Tell me my tears will stop flowing like rivers onto the
pillow where I lay. And someone please tell me that my jealousy and love has not all been in
vain.
gotten a few reviews from a couple confused readers. I know Christian was never the one for
revenge. That's why I put it in there. Cut me some slack. I only saw the movie once.::
Part II - Will Drive You, Will Drive You, MAD
---
"Are you mad Christian? He will tear you apart. If he is having men come after you and kill you,
what makes you think you two will be alone during this duel?"
I sat in the chair tying on my typewriter a final letter to Satine. Every word I typed sent
sharp pains into my heart. My arms yearned to hold her and my lips ached to taste her lips once
again. She would never read this letter I know but still, it was a closure for me. When she
was to be buried, I wanted it to go with her. That way my final thoughts and feelings go with
her.
"My beloved Satine,
You are never to read this letter but the thought of it going into the afterlife with
you is all I can do to say goodbye. You never did deceive me, you believed me when I said I
love you. And I turned my back on you and let you die in the duke's arms instead of my own. I
should never have let myself become so jealous. Please forgive me Satine. I never felt so
relieved in my life when you came rushing back into my arms telling me you couldn't do it and
that you loved me and you wanted to leave with me. I was foolish to even believe you when
you said you didn't love me. So there you are. I knew the moment I saw you that I wanted to be
with you. Your eyes, your energy, and you desperate cry for someone to love you whispered out
to me. Come what may my dearest Satine. I will get revenge for you. Even if I die trying.
I love you with all my heart and soul. Death is only the beginning of our love. I will love
you until my dying day.
Yours Forever,
Christian"
I ripped the short letter from my typewriter and folded it into my pocket. I wiped the tears
from my eyes as my heart sank onto the floor beneath me. The time was coming soon when I would
be seen in a totally different way. No longer would I be seen as a penniless poet.
"Look Zidler. Satine is dead and it's because of me. Do you enjoy seeing her rot in his bed
instead of being buried like she deserves? He needs to pay for all the trouble he has caused
the Moulin Rouge and us. Look Zidler. Your precious Moulin Rouge is falling apart. Your
prostitutes and Can-Can girls are leaving in rapid numbers afraid to end up like Satine. The
Duke will eventually steal everything away from you and you will be lying in the streets of
Paris somewhere."
I tuned away from him running my fingers through my hair. I dreamt a daydream earlier today. A
dream that everything was normal again. A dream that sent my mind far beyond reality, and back
again quicker then a flash of lightning. Satine and I could be together with no worries and
that she wasn't sick. Endless nights of lovemaking and just holding each other. A tear came to
my eyes as I stared out the window into the storm clouds that had gathered. Those clouds
represented my pain. Dark, dreary, and full of sadness. Just like those clouds brought on the
fear of rain, my sorrow brought on fear of tears.
I glanced in the mirror for the first time in days. I needed a shower and I needed to shave.
'What for?' I asked myself. 'I have no one to impress or to care what I look like anymore.' I
shook my head away in disgust and sat down on the windowsill. If Satine were alive, she
wouldn't care what I looked like. Only that I was happy. And all I would care about were if
she were happy in return. But those feelings have long since left me. All I felt now was the
need to avenge her death in anyway I could.
"Alright Christian." Zidler left my room in a fast pace and slammed the door shut behind him
causing me to jump. I didn't jump from the sound, I jumped as my head was pulled out of the
clouds and I remembered that there was someone else in the room along side of me. He knew what
I had said was the truth. He was loosing everything right under his nose. I laughed to myself
as the rain began to fall onto the slowly deteriorating Moulin Rouge. 'Truth, Beauty, Freedom
and above all things Love.' I repeated inside my head over and over again. The reflection of the
rain from the window onto my face mixed in with the tears that made their way down my dirty
cheeks leaving streaks. I looked at the Moulin Rouge and wished that once again that nothing
had happened. The windmill has slowed down its pace, the people stopped coming in large numbers,
Satine's dressing room was being torn down, and all the while everyone still had some hope that
it would remain as festive as usual. Including myself. I heard the clock chime six p.m. It was
evening now. I laced on my shoes and headed over to the once bright and colorful stage. Fear
pumped through my veins. I feared I would not be able to avenge Satine. I was more excited
then afraid. The stage that once held the play of her death now sat in sheets and windows were
boarded up. Too many memories flooded into my head at once. I clutched onto my head as I made
my way up the stage steps. My stomach began to dance inside of me. My heart felt as if though
it were about to beat out of my chest.
"Too much stress for you boy?" I whipped around to barely see the duke standing in front of me.
The room was spinning so fast. I could barley stand up. I shook my head trying to shake
whatever it was I had away. My eyes were getting blurry as I was beginning to have double
vision. I could barely keep the saliva from falling out of my mouth. Sweat poured down my
forehead and onto my cheeks as one of my arms began to go numb.
"Go to hell." I said with my eyes rolling into the back of head as my mouth got dry and my lips
began to chap. My hair was sticking to my face as the sweat saturated my whole body. "All I
want is to see you dead and rotting in your own damn bed."
"Such violent words Christian. How do you expect to kill me if you can't even stay on your own
two feet?" Without realizing it, I was on my knees spitting and rocking back and forth.
"Erik, John, Bring her to me." I collapsed on the floor and could only stare at the Dukes shoes
as he walked forward to me making tsk tsk noises. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I
like this? It was as if the Duke read my mind when he began to speak.
"Are you wondering why you are sick my dear boy? I will tell you why. Your pathetic
sensitivity towards Satine's death has taken over your body. Your lack of food, water, and
sleep has made you dehydrated and weak. You couldn't raise a gun in your hands if you had to.
I wont fight you while you are down. It would be too easy." I saw the two men hand the duke
something. I blinked my eyes slowly and licked my lips. If I could only reach up and break his
neck. The sound of his bones cracking within my grasp would ease up the pain that was rushing
throughout my entire body.
I jumped when I heard a loud thud as something landed down next to me. I opened my eyes enough
to look into Satine's. Rage, fear and sadness raced into my eyes. My heart turned black and
cold as the blood rushed into my head.
"Oh god no please.." I broke down in tears. He even re-opened her eyes and threw her down next
to me like a rag doll. If Satine were to be a doll she would be a china doll kept in a glass
box. But no, right now she is a dead woman being treated as if though she were sown together
for a child.
"And for future reference Christian. I thought she was beginning to get a little fat backstage.
Your precious Satine was with child. Your, child." A smirk crawled upon his face. His eyes
bore through me as if I were transparent. Only his eyes could bring a look of coldness colder
then the artic.
I slammed my head onto the stage desperately trying to move my body away from hers. My hand
throbbed with pain as I used it to scoot myself away. I couldn't be near her. The look in her
eyes frightened me. Her eyes told me that she died in fear, and in regret. My heart could no
longer take the abuse. 'My child.' I thought. My baby was growing inside of her. I wish I
would have known if it were a girl or boy. I could feel my heart stop as my breathing slowed
down to a few quick breaths every few seconds. Was I dying? Was I dying from a broken heart?
If this is what love is supposed to be like then I don't want it. I don't want to love someone
so much and have them die, carrying my child. What did I have to live for? I left my home to
find freedom. All it has gotten me is jealousy, hate, and anger. A poet? A writer? What the
hell was I?
My hearing began to fade. I could hear nothing but mumbling and footsteps walking off the
stage. I could feel the vibrations of her body being dragged off the stage. I was glad they
were taking her. I would rather have died on that stage then have her lying next to me. Her
hand grazed mine. It was cold. Cold enough to send shivers down my spine and goose bumps along
my arms. He stopped her other hand in front of my face. I lightly kissed her hand. "A kiss on
the hand Satine." I whispered before falling unconscious once again.
---
I once again awoke in my bedroom. Suddenly it turned from Satine and I's bedroom back to mine.
I began to face reality and realize that she was dead. Although everywhere I looked around in
the room, I felt her. Her joy, her passion, her energy, and I could hear her laughter, and her
midnight cries of pleasure. Her hair so soft, like silk sliding between my fingers. Her skin
as clear and smooth as a marble. I licked my lips remembering her luscious lips and what they
had tasted like. Everything about her surrounded me and flooded my head. It was more then I
could bear.
I sat alone in that dark room. I was a fool to think I could win over the duke after days of
malnutrition and lack of sleep. The pain shooting through my hand when I fell onto the stage
was a reminder to me why Zidler had said not to go so soon. But I wouldn't listen. Of course
everyone had wanted revenge on the Duke for what he had done to her right before the show
started, but they all blame me for breaking her heart and leaving the Moulin Rouge. What about
me? She acted as if she didn't love me and broke MY heart. I only did what she acted like she
wanted me to do. I was furious. Furious at Satine, at myself at the whole damned Moulin Rouge.
"DAMN YOU SATINE!" I yelled out uncontrollably. I buried my head into my palms and began
sobbing. My sobs could be heard down the hall. My cries were of hatred and pain. No one could
understand how I was feeling at that moment. Not even Satine could have.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I whispered into the wind in between sobs. Nothing on earth at
that moment mattered. Not even when I looked up to find one of the Dukes men in front of me
holding a gun to my face.
"Shoot." I looked the man into his eyes and pleaded with him to pull the trigger. I didn't
want to live anymore taking the chance of finding someone else and loosing them too. I don't
think I could ever love again after Satine. No one could replace her. She was my world.
Everything I could possibly need in life rested in her hands. I wanted him to shoot. It would
end my pain and suffering. My heart would no longer rip apart minute by minute, and I would be
with her again.
"Shoot god damn you!" I grabbed the gun and held it to my forehead as the tears streamed down
my cheeks. I wanted nothing more then to die. I wanted to be with her again. Why wasn't he
shooting?
"No. The Duke wants this settled once and for all. Take this gun and use it yourself." The
gun landed hard on my lap as the man fixed the collar of his coat and walked out my door. I
rubbed my fingers along the handle still warm from the man. I picked it up and cocked it. I
held it to my head and pulled the trigger. 'Yes! I am coming Satine!' were the thoughts that
ran through my head at that moment.
The gun wasn't loaded much to my dismay. I put the gun under my pillow and closed my eyes. I
dreamt loving dreams of Satine. Maybe this was someone's way of telling me to overcome all
obstacles like I had once said. Maybe this was someone's way of saying that I must avenge her.
Will this pain ever go away? Please someone tell me. Tell me that my heart will mend and it
will beat again in its normal rhythm. Tell me my tears will stop flowing like rivers onto the
pillow where I lay. And someone please tell me that my jealousy and love has not all been in
vain.
