Inside, Felipe carefully exited the cave, leaving Diego to finish getting dressed. Since Victoria's crushing comments, the man needed more time alone, or at least, he wanted more time alone. Felipe knew he had managed to defeat the Mendez gang, but that it had been at great personal cost was obvious to the young man. He saw it in the tired eyes, the strained face, and the defeated shoulders. Felipe did not know exactly what had been done or said in the pueblo, but Diego's emotional pain was his own.
However, Diego also had some physical pain after today's fight, since he had managed to get himself hurt. There must have been some angel in the plaza guarding Diego. From what little Diego had told him, the bandit should have had a clear shot that would have left the masked man gravely wounded. Instead, Felipe had just finished wrapping a small, but painful, flesh wound.
Still thinking about his friend, he started when the front door slammed. Victoria suddenly running into the library startled him some more. Not just because she was there--which she had not been in over a week--but her entire attitude was that of a mad woman. The normally composed señorita was scanning the room frantically. Her skin was flushed, and her eyes were wide, and her hands seemed to be shaking, but he was not sure since she kept wringing them together.
Spotting him, she rushed over and grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to look in her in the eyes. It was then Felipe noticed how she was heavy she was breathing, like she was nervous, and he could feel her entire body tremble. "Where is he? Is he all right?" she demanded, her voice high and shaky.
Felipe began to sign that he did not understand what or whom she asking about. A small voice of alarm wondered if she meant Diego, but how would she know he was hurt? "Please, tell me he is--"
"Diego!" Don Alejandro's voice intruded on their private conversation. So shaken by Victoria's strange behavior, he involuntarily glanced over at the fireplace. Diego would be able to hear Don Alejandro, but he would not be able to come out of the passage with everyone in the room. Victoria's eyes followed his. Looking at the fireplace, she stood incredibly still before nodding. Felipe saw her force a smile on her face, and then turned to walk out of the room. He followed, perplexed by her odd behavior. The knots in his gut were also worrisome.
A composed, sweet-tempered Victoria met his patron by the door. Felipe shook his head, as if trying to make his ears work. "Don Alejandro, I'll probably need at least 20 bottles!"
Alejandro nodded, a small frown on his face. He scanned Victoria's face and then gave his head a small shake. "I was going to send thirty," he answered her. "With everything that has happened lately, you should have a large influx of customers."
Victoria's smile brightened the entire room. Felipe noticed, in the odd way people sometimes notice things, that her teeth were perfectly white and in a straight row. Not many people in the territory could claim it. "Thank you! I hate to impose, but with Bernardo away--"
"You're regular supply of wine is gone!" Alejandro finished for her. Patting her one the shoulder, he said, "I'm going to find Diego, and--"
"And what, Father?" Diego's voice floated over Felipe's shoulder. Looking behind him, Felipe began to smile, but it quickly left his face when he heard Victoria's small gasp. Standing next to Felipe, she quickly grasped his hand and squeezed. The color faded from her face again, and Felipe read the prayer of thanksgiving she mouthed with her eyes closed. Father and son were focused on each other, so Felipe assumed he was the only one to notice Victoria's response to Diego's entrance.
"I need your strong, healthy back, my son." Alejandro answered Diego. The broad grin and happiness in the older man's eyes warmed Felipe's heart. At least his patron was content with his life. "Victoria is borrowing some of our wine, and I need your help carrying the crates out to the wagon."
"Victoria," Diego said as a greeting. He dipped his head, and then looked back at his father. Felipe was proud of him; his voice had almost sounded normal. Over the past week, Felipe had watched the young don grieve for Victoria. He watched as the man he loved as a father, as the man who would soon be his father, became a shadow of his former self.
While Diego spent a lot of time away from the hacienda now, he had spent little of it in the pueblo. While he never said he was avoiding the place, Felipe knew he was afraid of running into the beautiful owner of his heart. Even Zorro hesitated to go today, but duty and responsibility outweighed personal cost; it was a de la Vega creed Felipe learned to live by as a young boy.
Today, though, with the woman he yearned for standing in his home, mere feet from his arms, Diego showed little reaction. If Felipe had been unaware of the fact Diego was Zorro, he would have believed Diego to be behaving as the friend he had always pretended to be. However, he did know Diego was Zorro, so he was the only person in the room understanding what an effort it was for Diego to remain in the same room with her.
"Of course, Father. Lead the way," Diego replied, as if his heart was not breaking, but Felipe knew it was. He watched as Diego stepped aside and motioned for his father to proceed. Alejandro, as he walked past his son, began telling Diego the day's earlier events. It always amused Felipe to hear Diego's "surprised" responses to such news.
He kept his focus on the backs of his patrons, relieved that Diego would be spending little time in Victoria's company. Maybe one day, the man would be able to be her friend, but it would long in the future. Felipe could only hope that Diego did not do anything while he was in pain that he would later regret. His future father had not shared his plans with Felipe, but the young man had heard the whispers about Maria de Corazon.
The world shifted on its axis, and Felipe felt his stomach drop when he heard Victoria whisper behind him: "Madre de Dios! I thought he had been shot!"
He stood there, unmoving, for almost a minute, unable or unwilling to believe what he had just heard. Finally, he forced his body to turn. Victoria, shaking, seemed to be stunned, too. Both of them just looked at one another, neither of them saying anything or moving. Finally, she said, "You heard me, didn't you, Felipe?"
He considered acting dumb. He had done it before; just smile and shake his head. He knew what he should do, but he could not. Victoria Escalante's words, as well as her earlier actions, told him something he did not want to know. Try as he might, pretending otherwise with her anymore would be impossible. Slowly, he nodded.
Victoria's eyes suddenly filled with tears. She looked down at her hands, held together tightly in front of her, and admitted, "Yes, Felipe, I know. I have known for--Well, that doesn't matter." She wiped away the small streams of water on her face. Her lips twisted into a mockery of a smile. "The fine caballero Diego de la Vega is Zorro."
Reaching out to grasp his arms, she demanded in an instant tone: "Promise me that you'll always look after him! You'll protect him, won't you?" For the briefest instant, he saw her soul, but the door quickly slammed closed, shutting him out. She would not let him get close to her.
Biting his lip, he nodded. After all, he told himself, the promise was redundant. Diego, the man who would soon be his legal father, would always be protected from harm if Felipe could help it. He was confused by this woman, the woman who was pleading with him to protect Diego, and yet, had hurt him far more than any bullet when she announced that she no longer loved him. Felipe believed, deep in his heart, that she had been lying, and he wanted to know why.
"You love him," he finally said, not caring if she found out all of his secrets today. Diego would be protected, even from Victoria. She showed no reaction to his voice. The dazed look in her eyes told him that she was far away from the here and now.
Unthinking, she started to nod, but then realized what she was revealing. "Oh, no!" she suddenly protested. Her voice wavering, she shook her head no violently. "I don't love him, but I do love what he stands for, Felipe. He is a hero, and this pueblo needs him." Felipe, taught by Diego to observe his world, noted that she refused to meet his eyes, and her words almost tripped over themselves in an effort to get out of her mouth. "I just want--I just wanted to make sure he was safe." She turned and started to walk with forced nonchalance towards the library. "I just thought that I was in love with Zorro," she whispered, and he wondered whom she was trying to convince.
"Ah, here you go, Victoria!" Don Alejandro said as he and Diego returned, each of them carrying a crate. "Diego and I will load up the wagon, and they we will be ready to go to the tavern."
Standing by the entrance, Felipe watched Victoria turn and smile at the don. "Thank you!" she said warmly. Felipe shook his head as he saw once again, a confidant, cheerful lady. Gone was the frightened, pleading woman of a few moments ago. A sense of vertigo hit Felipe. Being with Victoria right now was like spinning in circles.
The minute Diego had brought a trembling, scared little boy into his home, Victoria had been there to love him. Felipe remembered a time when only Diego and Victoria were allowed to touch him; any one else who tried was treated to seeing the backside of Felipe as he ran away to hide. Victoria proudly walked into the pueblo with him, introducing him to all her friends. While Diego was busy with his own studies, she took the time to teach the boy how to communicate better with signs. Outside of the de la Vegas, she was the most important person in his life. He knew that her honesty and integrity were just as strong as the de la Vegas.
Or he had thought he knew it. After her actions today, he was uncertain what he to think or feel about Victoria. The señorita that he saw today was unlike the Victoria Escalante he had always known. Even the first time he met her, not long after her father and brothers had left the pueblo, there had been a sparkle in her eyes that was missing now. Oh, yes, he had seen her show enthusiasm and joy today, but they were a show. He remembered Diego's instructions about acting, and so had Victoria apparently. Her act as a happy woman was good but flawed, Felipe thought in the voice of a critic.
Having to deal with his own pain caused by Victoria's defection of Diego, he had avoided going into the pueblo this week himself. Having spent a lot of time thinking about the subject, he understood why he hurt so much. After all, he had believed she was going to be his mother one day. While he had two wonderful father figures in Don Alejandro and Don Diego, the de la Vegas had been unable to provide him with a mother. Victoria was close, but the distance between the pueblo and the hacienda kept her from acting like a real mother.
Like Diego, he had been waiting for her to join their family. Those expectations were shattered when she returned the ring, given to her as a promise of a future. Not wanting to know, he had been unable to block out the other servants' whispering about her various beaus. His heart had ached for Diego, because he knew no one knew better than to not mention it to his patron. Every comment must cut the man like a knife.
Today had been the first time he had seen Victoria since she made her decision about Zorro. Now, Felipe stood at the de la Vegas' door, watching the people he loved standing next to the wagon, hurting for two of them. Victoria's pain had become real to him today, and he could no longer ignore the fact that she too needed comfort. He wondered why she ended her relationship with Diego, if it made her so unhappy.
End her relationship with Diego . . .Thoughts spilled out into his mind. Unless, when she figured out that Zorro was Diego, she realized that she did not love Diego. She may have decided that the man behind the mask did not live up to her expectations. Maybe Diego's fears had been more realistic than anyone thought.
Rage flowed through the young man. She had not even given him a chance! If he was right in his suspicions, she just made a whimsical decision instead of taking the time to know the real Diego. The Diego she thought she knew did not really exist. The weak-willed, reluctant-to-get-involved man was an act. True, Diego did love his studies. In a perfect world, he would be working on his science and teaching others the sword for fun. However, Diego was a de la Vega, and that meant he was also a passionate man of action. Victoria should have realized that the man she loved was somewhere in Diego, and he deserved to be told the truth in either case.
Felipe frowned as he heard her laugh at something Diego said. Why had not she told Diego the truth? In a useless effort to protect him or herself from hurt? The honest lady Felipe once knew, the one who never bothered to hide what she was thinking, would have admitted her fears to Diego, no matter what the cost to herself. She would have given him the chance to explain. No, she would have insisted that Diego answer every one of her questions. Instead, this strange creature pretending to be Victoria was making public declarations before even talking to Zorro, something Felipe had a hard time forgiving. His father deserved to be treated better.
Wearing a relieved smile, Diego walked back to where he stood. Noticing Felipe's preoccupation, he lifted his eyebrows in a question. Felipe, shooting the departing Victoria another glance, shook his head. He was fine. Focusing his attention back to Diego, where he felt his loyalties laid, Felipe returned the earlier smile, understanding Diego's joy at passing a self-imposed test. Now, the handsome caballero knew he could face Victoria without making a fool of himself. "Today has been a long day already, Felipe. I'm going to go to my room and to take a siesta," Diego said, patting him on the back as he walked past him.
Felipe followed him into the hacienda, feeling free to show his emotional anguish now that Diego's attention was away from him. Watching the once energetic man amble into his room, he considered telling Diego what he had learned a few minutes before. Then, he remembered the few conversations he and Diego had had about Victoria over the years. Although Diego kept his feelings close to his own heart, Felipe knew his fears about the beautiful lady he loved.
Shaking his head, he turned away from his father and entered the library. Briefly his hand rested on the piano, and he remembered all the time Victoria had sat listening to Diego play. What good would it do, Felipe? he asked himself. The man is grieving right now, and to know the truth would only bring him more pain.
Sometimes, Felipe realized, being a man was a terrible burden. As a child, he told Diego everything. Looking over at the secret entrance into the cave, Felipe reassured himself that Diego would understand why he was keeping the secret. With his thoughts centered on Victoria, he walked over to the cave. After looking over his shoulder, he tapped the mechanism to open the door. He needed time to himself in order to gather his thoughts and feelings. He lost a possible mother last week, but today, a friend was lost because he would never be able to look at Victoria the same way again.
