Alejandro de la Vega, community leader and former soldier, was as nervous as a young man courting his first girl

Alejandro de la Vega, community leader and former soldier, was as nervous as a young man courting his first girl.  His stomach was tied in knots, and he was impressed that his hands were not shaking, but then maybe they were.  He could not really tell, because he was busy squeezing them together in his anxiety.

Today was the day!  A day long hoped and dreamed for, but one he had secretly feared would never happen.  When his son first made the announcement, he had been shocked but pleased.  Now, after quickly doing some needed work, his hope was coming true.  Today was the day that his family grew!

He smiled at Felipe, his grandson.  His smiled broadened as he thought those words.  He had a grandson, or he would just as soon as Diego finished signing the papers.  The adoption had been quick because Diego had worked hard to make sure the paper work was filed as fast it could be, even making several trips to Santa Pablo to make sure everything went smoothly.

Diego wrote the final stroke upon the paper.  Don Armando smiled at him, shook his hand, and said, "Congratulations, Don Diego, you are the proud parent of a grown boy!"  The small gathering of friends applauded, making up for what they lacked in number in volume.

Laughing in joy, Alejandro began passing out the already-poured glasses of champagne.  Today was a great day in the de la Vega hacienda!  He had gained a grandson, and his closest friends were surrounding him.  Lifting his glass, he toasted the newest member of his family.  "My son one day brought to this hacienda a little boy who needed a home.  I agreed with Diego that the boy should stay here, all the while doubting he would feel at home.  I do not think even Diego and I considered this hacienda 'home' during that time.  It had stopped being that when my Elena died, but that little boy brought the life back into this haciendaHe gave us a home, and I've waited a long time for him to agree to become a legal member of this family.  To the best grandson I could ever hope to have!"

Everyone, cheering, lifted their glassed and drank deeply.  He watched as Felipe hesitantly sipped his first drink.  Having never dined with the family, and knowing Diego's attitude towards wine, had discouraged Felipe from trying it until he was older.  Alejandro could not help smiling when a look of distaste crossed Felipe's face.  It looked like he was going to have another son in the household who refused to drink any alcohol except for an occasional toast.

Proud, he looked around the room at his friends.  Don Armando, when Don Alejandro first met him, had been a young boy.  Don Alejandro, just returned from Spain with a wife and a young son, had been a young man himself.  Armando had been an annoying imp playing in law offices then, but that whippersnapper had grown into a man who took over the family law firm years ago.  So now, he worked in those offices instead of playing in them.  His children had played in them, and now his grandchildren were continuing the same pattern in those same offices.

Don Armando had been the de la Vega family attorney for years, and he too had worked especially hard to make sure that the adoption went smoothly.  He had made several trips, to Monterey, to personally oversee filing of paperwork.  He had gone far beyond the call of duty because he was a friend, and he knew how important this adoption was to the de la Vegas.  Felipe would be in good hands this summer while working for the kind lawyer.

Alejandro's gaze fell on Don Vicente, a new friend--a man who was becoming as close as a brother to him.  They shared many of the same beliefs, and Vicente was a man a person could depend upon to help, no matter what the circumstances.  Don Alejandro was pleased that the man had moved to Los Angeles, and he hoped that sometime in the future Vicente's marriage would be repaired, since it was the only dark spot on his friend's jovial soul.

His eyes rested on Maria, the daughter of and most important person to that dear friend.  Don Alejandro liked her forthright nature.  She was apparently becoming an important part of his son's life as well.  Alejandro was beginning to accept that she would probably be his daughter-in-law soon.  Diego spent too much time with her for it to be a simple friendship.  However, he admitted, if only himself, that he wished for a different type of marriage for his son.

They would have a good marriage, but he desired a great union for his only child.  He wanted Diego to experience all of the passion and joy he experienced with his Elena.  He wished his son to know what it felt like to be burning with love for a woman, where thoughts of the lady consumed him until he knew that he had to marry her or go mad.  He did not want Diego to have a marriage where he took the time--where he could take the time--to "consider" it before proposing.  Alejandro sighed and shook his head.  His son's passions were truly consumed by knowledge after all.

His turned to look at his new grandson, who was grinning and signing something to Diego.  He was the joy in the family.  His boundless energy and zeal had brought life back into Alejandro's home.  He had wanted to adopt Felipe during the first year that he had lived with them, but Felipe refused, afraid his parents would find him and be hurt that he allowed someone to adopt him.  After those two thieves had taken him, in a foiled attempt to use him in a bank robbery, Felipe informed the de la Vegas that he considered them his family, but still refused to be officially adopted.  Felipe claimed he did not want the responsibility.  Somehow, his son managed to finally convince the young man, and Alejandro was content that his family was now complete.

It was good to see Diego laughing again.  Today, Alejandro could see that his son was happy.  There was a gleam in his eyes that had been missing for far too long.  Back was that controlled energy in his movements that Alejandro had not even noticed until it was missing.  Life was being good to Alejandro and his family today.  Except . . ..

His gaze rested on the pale shadow standing next to him.  Victoria was only a silhouette of her former self.  Most people in the pueblo took her new act of nonchalant happiness as genuine, but he did not.  Mendoza also worried about her.  He and the kind-hearted sergeant had spent many hours distressing together over the lovely lady.  She was miserable, and they were the only ones in the entire pueblo who realized it.  Even Diego, normally so attentive to Victoria, had been oblivious to her pain, lost in his own concerns and busy courting Maria.

Victoria was the only blemish on his happy family, having been an unofficial member just a little longer than Felipe.  After her mother died, when his friend lost his common sense in the hatred of revenge, Alejandro drew her into his family.  She had loved him and his family with the same devotion she had for everything else that she deemed important.  However, in the last month, she began distancing herself from them.  Dinner invitations were refused politely.  She treated Alejandro like a regular customer when he came into the tavern, and she shared no information about herself with him.  She was shutting them out, and he did not know why.

Her recent behavior hurt Don Alejandro in several ways, especially her attitude towards Felipe's adoption.  Until Diego told Maria and Vicente last week, she had been the only person in the entire pueblo to know about it.  He remembered her excitement and joy when Diego first made his announcement; she had asked many questions.  However, the last few weeks, she acted like she did not know, asking no questions and making no mention of it. 

Victoria knew how important this was to him.  Nonetheless, she had tried to refuse his invitation to the party today, using several excuses including the "I'm too busy" one.  They had, in general, hurt him, but there was one in particular that felt like an emotional lashing:  "Oh, Don Alejandro, I'm sure you would prefer just to have family there." 

He had vehemently denied that statement, refusing to let her leave his family without a fight.  "Ridiculous!  You are family!" he had snapped, his eyes flashing.  Finally, he had used emotional coercion to get her there, telling her that she needed to be there for Felipe.  He knew how she felt for him; she watched him grow from a frightened little boy into a confident young man.  She had looked down at the tray in her hand, and nibbled on her lip.  Finally, Victoria had reluctantly agreed to be here.

However, Felipe's response had been as unexpected.  When Don Alejandro had told the young man she was coming, Felipe had frowned and looked displeased.  His grandson loved Victoria as a sister, had ever since he'd been brought into their home, having been attracted to Victoria's gentle nature.  On the first day he met her, he had fallen asleep in her lap in a show of total trust. 

Today, he acted as if he did not even like her.  Alejandro watched as his son, grandson, and Victoria talked to one another.  Now that she was here, they all seemed to be enjoying each other, but something was different.  There was a distance in their actions that he had never seen before now. 

Taking a sip of his champagne, he wished he knew what was going on with Victoria.  Now that the adoption was complete, Diego seemed to be back on an emotional keel.  Alejandro promised himself that he was going to find out exactly what was going on in her head!

Enough worrying, de la Vega!  Today is a day of joy and friendship.  Enjoy it, he ordered.  Being a former soldier, he knew how to take orders.

***

An hour later, Victoria decided that she was glad she came after all.  It was a wonderful day, and she would not have missed it for the world.  It had been so long since she had laughed with any real joy in her heart that she'd almost forgotten what if felt like. 

Trying to protect herself from the pain, her first instinct had been to refuse Don Alejandro's invitation, knowing it would hurt just to be here.  The de la Vegas had been her family since she was a young woman.  She would no longer be allowed to be a part of their loving family, one she should have one day joined in marriage.  However, she was thankful she agreed to be a part of this celebration, the last de la Vega festivity she would be a part of, and for today, she could pretend she was still a part of this wonderful family. 

A familiar melody danced across the air.  Smiling, Victoria turned to look at the piano, which Don Alejandro had started to play.  He was good, but Diego was excellent.  Since she would probably never have the chance to enjoy his playing again, she selfishly wished Diego were sharing his talent.  His beautiful hands created life from those cold ivory keys, and she had always been drawn into the music when he played. 

Victoria remembered, when she was younger, Don Alejandro playing duets with Doña Elena.  When she was a child, her family was often a dinner guest to the de la Vega hacienda.  She smiled as she remembered how nervous her parents had been those first few dinners, but they gradually relaxed as they realized that the de la Vegas accepted them for who they were, and not for their dress or manners.

Her heart began to beat rapidly as Diego slowly walked towards her.  Her eyes drank in the sight of him, not liking the lines that were etched around his eyes.  He had not been sleeping either.  She had hurt him with her actions, but she did not dare explain.  There was no solution.

He smiled at her, trying to act like the friend he had always been.  Looking into his frightened eyes, she realized he did not know she had discovered his secret.  Her eyes rested on the man standing behind Diego.  Felipe's mouth tightened, and she realized he had decided not to tell his father the truth.

Victoria agreed it was for the best.  Diego would only be hurt by knowing, and acting with her in public would be more difficult.  However, Felipe's knowledge meant he could come to her for help if needed.  There was no reason to worry that he would not seek her aid; he would never let his anger interfere with Diego's safety.  Felipe, keeping his own council, would allow her to remain friends with Diego.

I don't want to be friends with him, her heart protested.  I want to be his wife!  I want to hold him at night, comfort him when he's hurt, and be the one who hears all of his secrets.  I want to have his children, and I want to call Felipe "my son"!  Her father used to say there was no sense crying over a shattered wine bottle, but she cried every night over her broken relationship with Diego.  He would never be hers to hold or to love.

"I remember this song, all too well," Diego teased her as he stopped before her.  His eyes caressed her, causing a weak sensation in the pit of her stomach.

She smiled at him, remembering the melody, too.  Whenever she was tired or upset, she would hum it to herself.  "I thought I'd hate that tune for life!" she confessed, wrapped up in the memories.

Diego's face fell.  "It brings back bad memories?"  There was pain in his voice, even though he tried to hide it.

"Wonderful memories now," she answered him, refusing to destroy one more of the marvelous moments that they had shared over the years.  "It's just that I think I walked around for weeks hearing it in my head."

Diego chuckled and the haunted look left his eyes.  "I heard it forever, too.  I'm glad you were a fast learner."

"Ah, you say that now!"  Victoria said with an unlady like snort.  "I had to have been the clumsiest woman you ever taught to dance."

Diego nodded gravely in agreement.  "You were, but then you were the most graceful, too."  Victoria, wearing a smile of confusion, looked at him in surprise.  "You are the only one I ever taught to dance."

Victoria laughter rang out across the hacienda.  She did not notice all the people who turned to look her at her with smiles on their faces.  "I'm honored, Señor.  You were an excellent teacher."

"I had a great student.  We did have fun together those two months.  I'm glad Father asked me to do it," Diego agreed with that little grin of his that she loved.  "Would my lady care to dance?"

Maria, the woman Diego would one day marry, walked over to them.  "Hello, Victoria.  Diego, I've had a wonderful time today."  A beautiful smile covered her face, and her enjoyment and happiness were evident in her voice.

Victoria looked over at her replacement, and some of her earlier joy left.  "Diego feels like dancing," Victoria informed her.

"Oh, I would love to dance!"  Maria's smile grew.  "I haven't had many opportunities to dance since we moved to Los Angeles."

Thankfully, Felipe was walking towards them.  "Why don't you and Diego dance together, while I dance with the newest de la Vega?"  She laughed, but it did not have the real joy it held a moment before.  Felipe's eyes widened in surprise, and she thought he might refuse.  Her recent actions had hurt and confused the young man, but she could not share the entire truth with him, either.

Hurt flashed in Diego's eyes as she walked into Felipe's arms.  He wanted to dance with her, just as she did with him.  If she did, for a few moments, she could imagine that everything was like it was supposed to be.  She could be in his arms, but she dared not take the risk.  She loved him too much. 

Felipe was an excellent dancer.  She taught him as Diego had taught her.  Unlike her though, he was a natural, always relaxed as he led her, but today she could feel the tension in his arms.  He did not want to dance with her, and she understood why.  She did not want to dance either.

She looked over at Diego, with Maria in his arms.  They made a beautiful couple.  The young lady said something that made Diego laugh.  Victoria's heart broke even more.  Don't think.  Don't feel.  Just do.  It was how she lived day to day now . . .

***

Diego looked over at Victoria, who was sitting quietly on her horse.  It was late, and Don Alejandro had insisted that Diego accompany the señorita back to the pueblo.  Even knowing it was going to be torture, Diego quickly agreed, wanting some time alone with her.  Today was the second time he had seen her since she returned his mother's ring; the party had been a wonderful experience filled with pain.  He loved being with her, even though it hurt to see her.

She was so beautiful.  Even in Spain, there had not been a lady that could begin to compare with her beauty.  He loved her.  He accepted the fact he always would, since he was too much like his father:  Once his heart was given, it was bestowed forever.  Don Alejandro had yet to find a woman that matched his Elena, and Diego would never find a woman to match his Victoria.  He acknowledged it, even as he wished she could love him.

He was glad Alejandro had urged Victoria to let him escort her home.  With her, even the silent times were good.  He was able to relax in her presence in a way he had with no one else.  Naturally shy around women, she set him free.  Oh, he was not a dashing, debonair suitor with her by any means; she had to initiate their first kiss.  Even though he withheld his identity from her, he felt like he had shown her all of himself, even if it was as two different people.  Although they had so much in common, Maria had yet to meet the real Diego.

Thinking of Maria caused Diego to smile sadly.  He knew she had not liked him escorting Victoria home, because while Felipe's face showed sympathy, hers had been twisted in jealousy.  She tried to hide it, but he managed to see it before the normally pleasant expression returned to her face. 

Diego could not blame her for being resentful.  After all, she had to know he was considering asking her to marry him, and now he was escorting another woman home.  He thought her jealousy was a little silly.  After all, everyone knew that he and Victoria were old friends.  Only he and Felipe had any idea that Diego wanted her to be the future Señora de la Vega.

Victoria's melodic voice brought him out of his thoughts.  "Today has been a perfect day, and I refuse to let thoughts of the future ruin it." 

Her announcement startled him.  It came from nowhere, as far as he knew.  Had he missed something she was saying?  "You have to think about the future," he said.  He hoped his tone was teasing and not confused.  Victoria was still being a wonderful mystery to him, one he yearned to solve, but she was not his anymore though.  She was to remain a compelling puzzle.

"Oh, no, Diego, I don't think about the future anymore," she answered him with raw pain in her voice.  What had hurt her?  Was she upset by the end of their engagement as he was?  Maybe--No! Diego thought, glutting the reins in his hand tighter.  It's been three weeks.  She knows what she wants.  Quit putting your hopes on her. 

"I remember Felipe when he first came here.  He was so shy and so adorable.  I think with one look, he stole all the ladies' hearts.  I'm happy that he finally agreed to be adopted.  He resisted the idea long enough," Victoria spoke gaily, her silence over.

Diego shook his head, confused by the change in subject as well as her suddenly happy demeanor, but he made no comment.  Riding happily beside her, he let her chat away, saying whatever came to mind.  He listened eagerly to each word, wanting to know what she thought about everything.  He would savor the moment while it lasted.

When they arrived at the pueblo's stable, Victoria smiled and quickly dismounted her horse.  Diego helped her take off the saddle and brush the horse down.  As he gently stroked the horse's mane, he noticed Victoria looking away in the distance, gently biting her lip.  When he finished with the horse, his heart did a funny flip in his chest, but he knew it was time to go.  Time to say goodbye to a dream. 

Standing in front of the tavern, Victoria suddenly nodded and turned to look at him.  Wearing a large smile, she said, "Oh, Diego, I have some of your father's bottles still here.  Will you take them back with you?  I forget to take them earlier."

His heart demanded he stay for a few more minutes while his mind told him to leave as fast as he could.  After quickly tying his horse to the hitching post, he followed her into the tavern.  Even though the gentleman in him said he should not, he enjoying the sway of her hips.  Diego briefly wondered why she was going in the back entrance, the one into the kitchen, a place of memories.  How many times had Zorro stopped here for a too brief moment with his ladylove?

He almost ran into her when she suddenly stopped next to the table.  When she turned, he felt his breath catch.  The look in her eyes was so different from anything he had seen there before.  They reminded of a cat's, sleek and mysterious.  "The bottles are on the counter, but I want to ask you a question first."  Even though the room seemed suddenly so much hotter, Diego prompted her to continue with a nod of his head.  He wished he could take off his caveat and jacket.  Victoria seemed bothered by the heat, too.  Her voice was husky when she asked, "Will you dance with me?"

He stopped breathing for a minute, stunned by the request.  This intoxicating woman challenged and confused him more than anyone else.  Earlier, she had quickly--and politely--refused to dance with him, but now that there was no music she was asking him to lead her around a kitchen.  Diego, desperate to hold her for one more time, simply opened is arms as an answer.

Tiny warning bells were ringing in his mind, but for once, he ignored them.  He just wanted to touch her, to hold her in his arms and feel the gentle rise of her shoulders as she breathed.  For a few minutes, he could breath in the wonderful scent, sunshine and cooking smoke that was hers alone.

At first they stayed the proper distance from each other, doing the normal ballroom dances.  Taking care not to knock her into anything, he twirled her about the kitchen as if they were at one of the palace's balls.  Her eyes held him memorized.  Joy, real from-the-gut happiness, shined from them.  It was back from earlier; she really did enjoy dancing with him.  The other look, the one burning him, frightened him as much as it excited him.  Even as Zorro, she had not looked at him so.

Slowly, as their hearts beat faster, the tempo of the dance changed.  The spirited dances of fun changed into a quick sultry dance of desire.  Diego, knowing better, started holding her closer during each dance.  Victoria made no effort to back away; if anything, she stepped closer.  He began to lead her into dances he knew she did not, could not, know, but she easily followed his body's instructions.  Their breathing grew heavier as Diego showed her examples of moves he had learned in Spain, shown by a friend from Argentina, ones that horrified the proper part of him, but appealed to the wildness that was Zorro.

He spun her, and then drew her into his arms before stopping.  For a moment neither of them dared to breath.  Victoria trembled in his arms.  Or was that him?  Her breathing was in perfect time with his.  Blushing, Victoria looked down to his chest. Later, he could never remember exactly which one of them leaned forward, but he knew one of them did.  Passion exploded.

Wanting her closer, Diego drew her up into his arms and leaned her back on the table.  Her lips were not enough, and he relentlessly began kissing her neck.  As he arrived at her shoulders, he was thankful that she wore the top that allowed him access to their gentle slops.

Meanwhile, Victoria attacked his coat.  Kissing his face, his neck, his ears, she yanked at it, desperate to get it off of him.  Diego, busy kissing her neck again, gave it the final pull, unconcerned where it landed.  His cravat soon joined it on the floor.

It was the feel of Victoria's hands on his chest that startled him back to his senses.  He was out of control!  He, who lived by being in command of himself at all times, was reeling madly.  Feeling him pulling away from her, Victoria kept pressing forward, kissing his neck.  Grasping her arms, he pushed her back from him.

Trying to catch his breath, he looked at Victoria.  Her hair, so perfectly arranged in a bun earlier, now mostly hung in disarray around her face.  Her lips were swollen, and her shirt was twisted, revealing more of the curve of her breast than he could handle at the moment.

His eyes snapped back to look at her face.  "Victoria," he began.  Closing his eyes, he took two deep breaths.  Shaking, he looked at the woman before him and whispered, "This is not right."

Victoria, her hands still holding the edges of his shirt, glanced down to her lap.  When her eyes met his, she nodded.  "Tomorrow.  Tomorrow, it will be wrong, but tonight there is no future."

Remembering her earlier words, Diego repeated his:  "You have to think about the future."

Shaking her head, Victoria disagreed.  "I don't!  And you don't either for tonight!"  She leaned forward and gently laid her lips on his chest.  If she had kissed him like before, the intense way they had recklessly jumped into earlier, he might have been able to resist.  Instead, her light little caresses continued, and he was lost.

Gently, he reached up and put his hand through her hair, pulling her away from his chest.  Looking into her eyes, he feared that after tonight he would lose his sanity.  However, resisting her would be impossible.

He leaned forward to give her a soft kiss on the lips, like their first one in the garden.  Slowly, it became warmer and more passionate.  He pulled away from her for a second, to make sure she still wanted to proceed foolishly.  Her nod and her smile were answers enough.  Groaning, he gathered up into his arms, cradling her tightly to his own body.  Then, he returned his lips to hers and walked out the kitchen and up the stairs to her room.