You Gotta Roll with the Punches

"And I, I was walkin' the clouds

Feelin' so safe and sound

Then somethin' else knocks me down"

--"That's the Way" performed by JoDee Messina

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar

Sunlight streaming in through the studio window woke Elizabeth up. Disoriented, it took her a moment to remember why she wasn't in Lucky's bed at Kelly's. After a moment, the events of the previous night came flooding back to her... Jason had been there, and he told her to tell Lucky the truth about what had happened. It had been more than that, though. Elizabeth felt that Jason had been trying to tell her something that he didn't come right out and say.

Groaning, she sat up and tried to massage the kink out of her neck. The couch was anything but comfortable, and she didn't know how Jason has survived sleeping on it all those nights he was hiding out.

As she stood up, there was a knock on the door, and she rushed to open it. Please let it be Jason, she thought. Something went horribly wrong last night, and I need to make it right.

Opening the door, she tried to mask her disappointment that it was Lucky, not Jason, standing in the hallway.

"Hi!" she said with false cheer. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Of course not," she said, taking his hand and pulling him into the studio. "It's just a nice surprise, that's all."

He looped his arms around her waist and drew her close for a kiss. "Did you get a lot of painting done last night?"

She grimaced. "Actually, no. I just couldn't seem to find the inspiration I needed."

His eyes fell on her sketchbook, which still lay open to the drawing of Jason, and angrily he released her and reached for the book. "Gee, I would have thought this would provide all the inspiration you need."

"Lucky..."

"What's going on, Elizabeth? What were you doing, sitting here gazing at his picture?"

"Lucky, of course not! I was flipping through my sketchbook trying to decide what to paint, and that's the last drawing I did. It's actually pretty good, so I thought maybe I could do a painting of it for my class."

"Oh, I bet you'd just love to have a painting of Jason to hang on the wall. Even better, you could invite him here to model for you."

"Actually, I was going to give the painting to Emily when I was done, since he is her brother. And you know I wouldn't ask him to model for me. I know that would bother you, even though it shouldn't."

"And why shouldn't it? Jason is doing everything he can to take you away from me. I'm sure he'd love the opportunity to get up close and personal with you here in the studio."

"Jason has never been anything but supportive of my relationship with you. And besides, no matter what Jason may or may not want, it's not his decision. If he were attracted to me, which I highly doubt that he is, that doesn't automatically mean I will be attracted to him. And if I were attracted to him, that doesn't mean that I would throw away my relationship with you. I chose you, Lucky. Why can't you trust me enough to believe that nothing will happen with Jason?"

"It's not you that I don't trust, Elizabeth."

"I wish I could believe that."

"I'm not the one who lied, remember?"

By this point, Elizabeth was about ready to rip her hair out. She was so sick of arguing in circles with Lucky about Jason. "Lucky, I think it's time that we sat down and talked about exactly what has happened between Jason and I. I want you to finally let me tell the story, without interruptions or accusations. Do you think you can do that?"

Grudgingly, he replied, "I guess."

They moved over to the couch and sat down. "Look, I'm sure that there are going to be parts of this story that you don't like. But that's because you're looking at it as a jealous boyfriend. Please try to remember that Jason and I have never been anything more than friends."

They sat there for a long time, Elizabeth talking and Lucky listening. She felt as though it was the first time they had really communicated in quite a while. She told him about Jason comforting her after the fire, rescuing her from a bad situation at Jake's, and listening to her talk about Lucky for hours on end. She explained about Sonny and Carly, and Jason being shot, and nursing him back to health in the studio. She spoke of Nikolas' suspicions, and his belief that they were sleeping together, which of course wasn't true. She even told him how Jason counseled her when Lucky was still brainwashed, and she couldn't stop loving him in spite of it.

"Don't you see, Lucky? It was always you. Even when I thought you were dead, and after you came back, but said you didn't love me, I never stopped loving you. Jason was never more than a shoulder to cry on, a friend to listen to me rant and rave about you. That's all it ever was."

Lucky's face had softened somewhat during the story, but he wasn't quite ready to lose all his fears. "And now?"

"Now...I still love you, not Jason. But Lucky, I have lied to you, and I need to tell you everything before it tears us apart."

"But I thought you already told me what happened."

She shook her head. "Not all of it. You were so angry when I told you that I knew Jason was here, I thought I'd lose you if I told you everything."

"I guess that depends on what 'everything' is."

Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth began to speak again. "Lucky, I didn't just know that Jason was in town because I ran into him. He came here, to the studio, and asked for my help."

"He what?"

"Please, let me finish. He needed a place to stay, and no one else could know he was here. He wouldn't tell me why. I wasn't comfortable with it, especially since it meant lying to you. But I didn't want to turn my back on a friend. He offered to leave so many times, Lucky. He didn't want to cause me any trouble. But I wouldn't let him leave. I wanted to help him, just like I would want to help Emily or Nikolas or you. That day when you surprised me here, Jason was here. I was bringing him lunch, since he couldn't risk being seen by going to get food."

"Why didn't you tell me the whole truth the first time?"

"Because, Lucky, you were so angry when you found out I knew he was here. I was scared."

"So is there anything else I should know?"

"That day at Jake's, I went to find him so that I could tell him I couldn't spend time with him anymore. I didn't want to just stop speaking to him without any explanation. We talked for a little while, and I told him how much I hated lying to you. I felt awful, because even then you thought I was at my studio sketching. He asked me what I needed to draw, and I said an object in motion. He wanted to hear my ideas, so I told him, and then I asked if I could sketch him playing pool instead. I took a break a little while later, and he asked me if I wanted to play, but I know nothing about pool. He taught me how to hold the cue and line up a shot. And that's when you walked in. That's all it was, really."

"That's all, huh? So it just shouldn't bother me that another man had his arms around the woman that I love?"

"Lucky, please. It was just a friendly game of pool. We were having fun, laughing. That's what we do. We don't give each other long, smoldering glances, we don't kiss, and we don't do anything romantic. We are just

friends."

"So is that everything?"

"Not quite. After you left that day, all I did was talk about you. And he took me for a ride on his motorcycle. And when it was over, I asked him to stay away from me."

"And has he?"

"Mostly. He was...he was here last night."

"What, did you have some midnight rendezvous? Is that why you needed to 'paint' in the middle of the night?"

Elizabeth was starting to get angry now. How many times was she going to have to explain the same things? "No, we did not have a 'midnight rendezvous.' I came here to paint, and apparently Jason went for a walk. When he saw the light on so late, he wanted to make sure that everything was okay."

"How noble of him."

"He was worried about me, Lucky. Friends do that. He knows how upset I've been over fighting with you lately. He feels responsible, I think."

"He is responsible."

"No, he's not. I am. My choices are my own. No one forces me to do things. He wanted to leave as soon as he got here, and I didn't want him to go. I miss my friend, and I told him that. He left right after that, but before he did, he told me to tell you the truth, that I needed to make you understand that he isn't important. All he wants is for me--for us--to be happy."

"Is that all now?"

"Yes. That's everything. Now do you see how crazy you are to worry about Jason?"

"No, I don't. I trust you, Elizabeth, but I still don't trust Jason. You may think he's just being a good friend, but I believe he wants more. Maybe he sees that he can't have that now, and so he's trying to be supportive. He probably thinks that if he keeps watch over you, lets you know that he's there for you, eventually something will go wrong between you and I, and you'll turn to him."

"First of all, do you really believe Jason is that devious? And second, what do you mean 'eventually something will go wrong between you and I'?"

"News flash, Elizabeth. Jason Morgan is a mobster. He is arrested on a routine basis. He kills people. He is not some saintly protector incapable of doing anyone harm. So forgive me if I believe that he has the capacity to be devious. People like Sonny and Jason don't go around asking politely for what they want. They just take it."

"Lucky, Jason can't just 'take me' away from you. I love you. He knows that."

"So do I. But we've proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that we don't always agree. What happens if we have an argument someday, and he's 'comforting' you, or 'counseling' you about our relationship, and he decides the best solution is for you to be with him? You seem to take his advice pretty seriously."

Elizabeth was practically in tears. "I can't believe that you think I would do something like that, that I would betray you."

"It's not like it would be the first time you betrayed my trust for Jason."

"I suppose that's true. But I wish you could see that I was just trying to help a friend."

"I do see that. I just don't know that Jason is quite as clear on that point."

"He is, Lucky. Trust me."

"I wish it were that simple. I think I need some time alone to think, Elizabeth."

"Yeah, maybe that would be the best thing for both of us right now. I'll see you back at Kelly's."

"Alright."

When he was gone, Elizabeth wandered over to the window. She had left her jacket lying there the night before, and as she pondering her current life situation, she absently reached into the coat pocket and pulled out the red glass that Jason had given her. She had brought it back to the studio in hopes of duplicating the color, and also to avoid any more questions about it from Lucky. The cool, smooth surface was soothing to the touch, and as she cradled it in her palm, Elizabeth realized that more than anything, she wanted to talk to Jason. He would understand where she was coming from, instead of making her feel naïve and stupid. But Lucky would only see that as another betrayal.

What was wrong with her? Why, whenever something was bothering her, was her first instinct to go to Jason? It didn't used to be that way. Lucky was her confidant, her strong shoulder, the person who made her believe in herself again. But maybe that wasn't entirely true either. Lucky had made her believe in who she was when she was with him, and in their perfect, pre-kidnapping world, he would never leave. It was Jason who had shown her that she could survive without Lucky, that she was strong enough on her own. He had never promised to always be there, and had left more than once. She had missed him, of course, but she had been just fine. Could it be that it was Jason who taught her strength, where Lucky had taught her dependence? Maybe it was just that they could never go back to being the people they were before the fire. They would have changed anyway, but maybe if he had never been gone, they could have changed together. The people they were had been perfect for each other. She wasn't sure if that was true anymore. Once upon a time they had been everything to one another, and she had been happy with that. Her horizons had expanded to include other people and other interests, while his never really had.

Clutching the red glass tightly, Elizabeth finally admitted that Lucky's fears were founded on a grain of truth. She was attracted to Jason, and after last night, she could no longer be sure how he felt. But he wasn't Lucky. She had chosen Lucky. He was what she had always wanted, after all, and it had been a long, hard fight to be together. But now...now she wasn't sure what she wanted.

So where did that leave them?

"Well, Oh, that's the way it is

You gotta roll with the punches

That's the way it goes

You gotta bend when the wind blows

You live you learn You crash and burn It's hit or miss And that's the way it is"

--"That's the Way" performed by JoDee Messina

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar