Title: Fish Face

Author: Spiffy Da WonderSheep

Disclaimer: Challengers waive all rights to the airing of the show... oh, wait, you know what I mean.

Author's note: Just for you, Jeffy. The challenge was: "Must have interaction between Buffy and Xander. Must include the misinterpretation of a Latin phrase. There must be some mention of Pike from the Buffy movie." I failed miserably, but hey, it amuses myself and many others.
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Willow passed her hand over the pot and intoned the final words of the De-Rat Amy Spell.

"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus!" The cage filled with purple smoke, that dissapated showing a still-ratted Amy.

"Why are you talking about naked dragons?" Anya asked as she restocked the shelves.

"That's not what I said!" Willow protested. "I was calling on the protector Draco."

"Yes it is."

"Anya, the translation is right here, "The dragon never sleeps in the nude-- aw, hell."

"Did someone say nude?" Xander said, holding the door open so Buffy could carry in a very large, obviously heavy box. "We've brought weapons to be sharpened."

"I brought weapons to be sharpened," Buffy corrected, but anything she may have been about to say was cut off by Xander grabbing her face and kissing her full on the mouth. She jerked away and said indignantly, "Hey!"

"Hey!" Anya said indignantly.

"I'm sorry, I---" Xander grabbed Buffy's face again, and before lip contact was made, she dropped the box on his foot.

As he hopped around on one foot, Anya grabbed him and demanded, "What is going on?"

"I--- I don't know. I feel this irresistable urge to---" Buffy moved into his visual range, and he puckered up and lunged at her. Anya had a firm grasp and he didn't make it.

"Calm down, Fish Face," Buffy said to him. To Anya, who had a murder-first-ask-questions-while-cleaning-blood-out-of-clothing-later look, she said: "It's gotta be some kind of spell."

Everyone turned to look at Willow.

"Hey! Why are you all looking at me?"

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"Yes, well, in either translation, 'Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus' was probably not the best thing to say around that combination of spirits." Giles leaned forward in his easy chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose, then spoke into the phone again. "Fortunatley, it is easily correctable."

"Okay, so how do I fix it?" Willow asked.

In the background, there was a kind of sucking sound, then the sound of a fist hitting flesh, followed soon after by a *crashboomtinkle!* of Giles' merchandise being destroyed. "Anya!" Buffy's hollered plaint came clearly over the phone line. "Get a leash on your boyfriend!"

"Well, ah, you'd better put Buffy on the phone."
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"What!!" Buffy screeched.

"What?" the other three asked curiously. Xander started to go after Buffy again, but Anya grabbed his shoulder and pushed him down. "Knock it off, Fish Face," she said.

"God, Giles, are you sure... So there's no other way. Yes, he's my friend, but--- Okay." She hung up and turned to the assembly.

"What did Giles say?" Willow asked, wringing her hands.

Buffy got a steely look in her eyes, marched over to the doomed man, sat down in his lap, and kissed him, fully and passionatley.

This continued for three minutes until Anya finally butted in. "What are you doing?"

Buffy came up for air. "Listen, Giles said this is how to cure him, and if I was a good friend, I'd do it for as long as it took to cure him!"

Anya considered this for a minute. "Okay, carry on."
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The End.