"Children, please, calm down!" shouted Professor McGonagall. "Dumbledore will sort this out!"
Fred, George, and Ron had all been turned into tiny purple snails. The Ronsnail was being squished under its electric guitar. Apparently, trying to use magic and electric equipment at the same time hadn't worked out very well. The Fredsnail was twitching on the grass; little yellow bolts of electricity were occasionally buzzing from his shell. The Georgesnail had crashed on his broomstick and was sliming around in circles on the grass, his snaily little eyes unfocused.
As Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey gathered up the three snails, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the other students watched from behind Professor McGonagall.
"Ron," said Hermione, looking at him and quizzically raising an eyebrow, "aren't you supposed to be a snail?"
Ron thought for a moment. "Oh, yeah!" he said, and in a purple poof of smoke, he turned back into the Ronsnail and slithered out onto the field.
"CUT!" shouted Fred (the author), dashing out onto the field. "I said cut, Colin, that means turn off the fricky camera!"
Colin didn't turn it off.
"You stupid Aussies!" yelled Fred, maniacally waving his arms.
"Er, we're Brits," said Neville.
"I don't give a frick if you're Canadians! This whole thing was perfect until Ron screwed up! Okay, none of this ever happened, right? Okay. Roll the film!"
"Bwahahahagh… I'm a Canadian in disguise!" shrieked Martha Stewart, leaping from the top of one of the 50 foot goal posts and landing in front of Hermione. Hermione screamed and grabbed Harry.
"Whoa, in this case, I give a *@#`$%^&!+~*!!!" shouted Fred the author/director, diving under one of the speakers for cover. "This is getting way too weird!" he said. "Let's take this scene over again!"
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A.N. I've decided not to show the next scene, because it was even worse than the last. As you might have already noticed, I can't control my own writing, so it can get dangerous at times. Ya… I kind of scared myself when Martha Stewart came leaping onto the field. If you insane people out there (I'm insane, too) want me to post this scene sometime, I need at least one request for me to do so. If I get one, I will acknowledge that requestful person if and when I ever post this scene. Thank you for your time. (snickers evilly)
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"Ha!" said Ron.
The Gryffindors were gathered in the common room watching Fred, George, and Ron's music video on the muggle device called a TV. Fred, George, and Ron had all been restored to normal, except for the fact that they still had purple hair with bright yellow streaks through it.
"See?" said Ron, that's me flippin' the switch, and there's George –"
"Shut your face up!" snapped Hermione.
"I don't have to if I don't want –"
"Close your ~*^#+ face!"
"Sheesh, talk about PMSing…"
"I may be PMSing Ron, but you're ASSing!"
"Excuse me," said Professor McGonagall tartly as she entered the portrait hole. "Who here is not censored?"
"Sorry Professor," said Hermione, hanging her head.
"You could be heard all the way down in the Great hall!" scolded Professor McGonagall. "You're giving people a bad idea of Friggindor – I mean, Gryffindor House!"
A.N. Augh! I can't end it right! Augh augh augh! *bangs head against keyboard* AUGH! That hurt! Sorry to dissapoint you, the unpostable chapter is a lot funnier. If you want, just for the sake of insanity, I will post it. I warn you, though, it consists 100% of freakishly random insanity. If ya hate me, FLAME ME!!! Gahahahahahahagh! *dashes off into the forest of no return*
