know
about it!
Warning:
major sadness ahead. Sakura and Syaoran break up and this totally
destroys Sakura. Syaoran moves on but
will
come to a huge realization later on. R&R please!!!
Disclaimer:
I don't own CCS, but, *sob*, I wish I did!!!!!!!!!! Now please, don't
sue me, I need the money 2 buy
Christmas
presents! You wouldn't deprive 15 people of their well-deserved gifts,
would u?
Key
"..."
means someone talking
'...'
means thoughts
---------
means scene change
{...}
means author's notes
bold
words
mean japanese words whose definitions will appear at the end
Aishiteru
An 18-year
old Kinomoto Sakura was sitting by the King Penguin Slide, leaning against
it. She shivered from the
coldness
of the day, but ignored it. She had been there for hours, trying
to understand what had happened.
~Flashback~
"It's
over," he said.
Sakura
just stood there, unbelieving. "Hoe?" she whispered.
"I said
it's over," he repeated. Syaoran was standing in front of Sakura,
looking very uncomfortable.
"But,
but..." Sakura stuttered.
"I have
to go now," Syaoran said. "Good-bye, Sakura." He turned around
and ran away. Sakura watched him until he
disappeared
from sight. Then she dropped to her knees and started crying.
~End
Flashback~
'Why?'
Sakura thought. 'Why did you break up with me? Don't you love
me?' She broke down into tears again.
'Why?
Why? Why? Why? Why?' The question kept pounding
in her mind. "Why?" she whispered. Then she fell
asleep,
exhausted from her crying.
------------------------------------------------
Sakura
woke up. The first thing she noticed that she wasn't cold anymore.
'Where am I?' she wondered.
"You're
awake!" she heard someone say. Sakura turned her head toward the
sound of the voice and saw a worried
Kero
floating next to her. She was in her room, safe and sound.
"Daijobu desu ka? What happened? Touya found
you
asleep in the park! You've been sleeping for 2 days straight!"
"I don't
want to talk about it," Sakura mumbled. She turned away from Kero,
ignored his protest, and thought about
what
had happened. She started getting sleepy again, so she thought, 'Aishiteru,
Syaoran. I always have and I always
will,'
and then drifted back to sleep.
------------------------------------------------
5 years
later...
"I've
invited Tomoyo, Eriol, Yamazaki, Rika, Naoko, and Chiharu as well.
So, can you come?" Syaoran asked. Silence
greeted
him. "Sakura? Sakura, are you there?"
"Gomen,
Li-kun. Of course I'll come. I wouldn't want to miss your wedding
for the world." 'Liar!' she thought to
herself.
'You're only saying that because if you refused, he would know that you
still loved him!'
"Great!"
he replied. "I'll see you in two weeks then. Ja ne!"
He hung up.
"Ja ne,"
she said quietly. A 23-year old Sakura stared at the receiver before
hanging up. 'Syaoran's getting married.
He doesn't
love me anymore.' Sakura had known that fact for a long time, but
couldn't bring herself to accept it. It had
been
5 years, and she was out of college already and living on her own, but
she still hadn't accepted it. Until now. 'He
loves
someone else now. He doesn't love me anymore, but I still love him.'
Now, she finally had to accept it. She cried
herself
to sleep that night.
------------------------------------------------
The
next morning...
Sakura
woke up. 'Syaorans's getting married' was the first thought that
came to her mind. Tears started pooling in her
eyes.
'Baka!' she thought angrily. 'I will not cry! I will
be happy for Syaoran and wish him a happy life at his wedding!
I will
NOT cry! Now, I will act very happy and be glad that Syaoran is getting
married.'
Sakura
got out of bed. Kero was already awake, playing video games as usual.
"Ohayo, Kero-chan," she said.
"Ohayo,
Sakura-chan," Kero replied, eyes glued to the TV screen. Sakura laughed
and got went to the bathroom to get
ready
for the day.
Kero
paused the game after Sakura left. 'It's good to hear her laugh again,'
he thought. Sakura hadn't laughed in 5
years.
He had pretty much figured out why. With that Li-kid never coming
around anymore, he knew that the two had
broken
up. 'Poor Sakura-chan. You loved that gaki, but he didn't
care. He just left you.' Then his thought turned to
why
Sakura was laughing now. 'I wonder what happened.' He turned
off the game console and waited patiently for
Sakura
to come out of the bathroom.
"Ok,
spill it," Kero said when Sakura finally came out. "What happened?"
"Why,
nothing happened Kero-chan. Li-kun's getting married, that's all."
Sakura said, surprised at Kero for asking so
suddenly.
Kero's
mouth dropped to the floor. "That brat's getting married??" he exclaimed.
"How can he call you and tell you, after what he did to you??"
"Because,
Kero-chan, we're still friends!" Sakura replied angrily. "And
don't call him a brat!" She stomped out of the
room,
leaving a hysterical Kero-chan behind.
------------------------------------------------
The
day of Syaoran's wedding...
"Sakura!
How wonderful to see you again," Syaoran said as he embraced her.
"It's
nice to see you too, Li-kun," Sakura replied. "It's been too long.
Congratulations on your wedding. How have
you
been?"
"I've
been wonderful! You really must meet my fiancé, Yoki.
I've told her a lot about you. She's been eager to finally
meet
you.
"Of course."
Sakura said. "Where is she?"
"If you
go down this hall, she's in the third room on the right." Syaoran
turned and pointed.
"Arigato,
Li-kun." Sakura turned as well and walked towards where Syaoran was
pointing.
'So,
I'll finally get to meet her. I wonder what she's like. I hope
she treats Syaoran right. I'll kill her if she doesn't.'
Sakura
thought to herself as she walked down the hallway. 'Now let's see,
the third door. Aa, here we are.' She
knocked
on the door.
"Come
in," she heard. Sakura turned the doorknob and entered.
"Hello,"
a woman in the middle of the room said. She had long black hair and
brown eyes. "May I help you?"
"I'm
Kinomoto Sakura. I'm looking for Yoki."
"Oh,
so you're Sakura-chan! I've been waiting so long to meet you!" the
same person replied. "I am Yoki. Now, how
about
we tell each other all about one another, hmm?" Yoki went over to
some chairs on the side of the room.
"All
right." Sakura went over to the chairs too and they started talking.
------------------------------------------------
"You
may now kiss the bride."
Syaoran
leaned in and kissed Yoki on the lips. Sakura watched this from her
seat next to Tomoyo, who was recording
like
crazy. 'I should be the one on that alter. I should be the
one Syaoran's kissing.' she thought. Her eyes got watery,
so she
took out a handkerchief and wiped her eyes. She didn't look up again.
She had seen Syaoran walk down the
aisle
earlier, tears of happiness in his eyes, and she just couldn't stand seeing
him and Yoki together. She didn't watch
them
walk out of the church.
------------------------------------------------
At the
reception...
"Ano,
Li-kun, but I'm not feeling well. I think I had better go back to
the house.1 " Sakura
told him. 'Gomen Syaoran. I'm really very sorry.'
"Are
you sure Sakura?" She nodded. "Well, then, I guess I'll see
you tomorrow at breakfast then. Good-bye."
"Ja ne,"
Sakura replied. 'Good-bye forever. Aishiteru.'
------------------------------------------------
One
week later...
Syaoran
walked down the aisle again. This time though, he was in Japan, and
the tears in his eyes were not from
happiness,
but from grief. When he reached the coffin, he looked down at the
woman he loved. She was beautiful, even
in death.
Syaoran took her hands and put a cherry blossom2
in them. "Why?" he asked quietly. "Why did you leave me?
Why didn't I know I still loved you?"
~Flashback~
Syaoran
woke up in his bedroom in his house. It was the day after his wedding,
and he was very happy. He couldn't
remember
ever being happier. Yoki was his wife. They had had a wonderful
wedding. The reception was in the best
restaurant
in Hong Kong and he had had so much fun. Except for when Sakura had
to leave, of course.
'Sakura,'
Syaoran thought. 'I hope she's okay. She really didn't look
good last night. Oh well, I can check on her at
breakfast
later.'
There
was a knock at the bedroom door. "Come in," Syaoran said.
The door
opened and Tomoyo entered. She was a wreck. Her hair was all
messed up, she was still in her nightgown,
and
she was crying. "Tomoyo!" Syaoran exclaimed. "Daijobu desu
ka? What's wrong?"
Tomoyo
hiccuped. "S-Sa-Sakura-chan!" she wailed.
"Something
happened to Sakura? What? Is she okay? I have to go see
her!" Syaoran started to head out the door, but
Tomoyo
stopped him.
"You
c-c-can't, L-Li-kun. You can't s-s-see he-er."
"Why
the h*ll not??"
"Be...because
she's...dead!" Tomoyo cried. Then she fell to the floor, sobbing.
Syaoran
stood there, shocked. 'Sakura...dead? No, it couldn't be.
It just COULDN'T be!' He grabbed Tomoyo's
arms
and made her stand up again. "What happened?" he asked gruffly.
"Sh-she...killed
herself!" Tomoyo said. "S-sh-sh-she left a n-n-note."
"Where?
What did it say?"
"I-i-i-i-it's
on h-h-he-her b-bed." With that, Syaoran left the room.
When
he got to Sakura's bedroom, he immediately entered. There were police
everywhere. One of them came up to
him.
"Ano,
are you Li Syaoran?" he asked.
"Yes,
what's going on?"
"Well,
we found Kinomoto Sakura's body by a well down by Bird Street3.
It seems as though she stabbed herself in the heart with a sword.
We found an invitation to your wedding in her coat pocket, so we figured
that she was here for your wedding. When we came to search her room,
we found a note addressed to you."
"I want
to read it," Syaoran said.
"Of course,
here it is."
Syaoran
quickly took the note. It said:
Dear
Syaoran,
Gomen.
I'm sorry I ruined your wedding. I'm sorry for leaving without telling
you. I'm just sorry.
Please
don't blame yourself for what I did. I decided to do it. No
one helped me. I did it all by myself. Please don't let
Tomoyo
blame herself either. Tell her it wasn't her fault. Tell her
not to cry for me.
You will
have to tell my father and brother what happened, and Kero-chan and Yue-san
as well. I know that Kero-chan
and
Touya will want to bite your head off, so just show them this letter.
There's
something I never told you, Syaoran. I still love you. Yes,
I know that this will come as a shock to you, but
what
can I say? You were the best thing that ever happened to me.
I hope
you have a happy life with Yoki. Good-bye Syaoran-kun. Aishiteru.
Love,
Sakura
PS
There's something under my pillow besides the "book" that I want you to
have. Keep it if you'd like, or give it
away.
It doesn't matter.
Syaoran
just stared at the letter. Then he went over to the bed and reached
under the pillow. He felt two things there
and
pulled them out. One was the Clow book with Clow cards4
and necklace. The other was Syaoran. It was the teddy bear
that Syaoran had made for Sakura when they were 12 {?} and he was going
back to Hong Kong.
'Baka,'
the real Syaoran thought. 'How can you say it doesn't matter if I
keep it or not. I'll always keep this...because...because I love
you.' Syaoran himself was surprised at his thoughts. He still
loved Sakura? But, he loved Yoki, didn't he? As he thought
about it though, he realized that his relationship with Yoki was nothing
like his relationship with Sakura. When he was with Sakura, he could
never get angry at her, he could never resist her. He always defended
her to the bitter end and it had pained him to break up with her.
But, he had to. He was leaving for Hong Kong again, this time for
good, so he decided it would be best for Sakura if they broke up and she
moved on to love someone else. "Boy, was I wrong," Syaoran muttered
under his breath. Now Sakura was dead, and he would never see her
again.
~End
Flashback~
Syaoran
got up from beside the coffin and took one more look at his beloved.
He had divorced Yoki already, as he had
realized
he didn't love her and could never love her. Then he ran out of the
church, towards the King Penguin Slide.
When
he got there, he leaned against it and sat. 'This is where it happened,'
he thought harshly. 'This is where I
stupidly
broke up with Sakura. If I hadn't done that, she'd still be alive
and life would be perfect. But it's too late now,
she
gone, and I will live the rest of my life in anguish. Oh, Sakura.
I know you said to not blame myself, but it's useless.
I know
that it is my fault. It's all my fault.' Syaoran put his head
in his hands and cried.
When
he finally stopped crying, he got up and headed towards his apartment.5
He went in and got out Sakura, the bear Sakura had made for him, and Syaoran.
Then he went to the roof with them, yelled, "I'll see you soon!" to the
sky, and jumped.
Dictionary
Hoe -
It's Sakura's favorite saying. She says when she's confused, surprised,
gonna crash into a wall on her blades, etc.
Daijobu
desu ka - Are you okay?
Aishiteru
- I love you
Gomen
- Sorry
Ja ne
- Good-bye
Baka
- idiot, stupid, etc.
Ohayo
- Good morning
Gaki
- Brat
Arigato
- Thank you
Aa -
Ah
Ano-
Excuse me/Well (as in "Well, I...)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
No flames,
please!! Questions and comments, and constructive criticism welcome.
Should I continue writing fics? Hmmm, maybe one where Syaoran dies,
he he he.
Anywayz,
to answer some questions that you might have, 1) Sakura is staying at Syaoran's
mansion in Hong Kong, 2) Why did Syaoran put a cherry blossom on Sakura's
coffin instead of a rose or something? Of course, any true fan would
know the answer to this. Sakura means cherry blossom in Japanese.
3) As for "Bird Street", in the first movie, Syaoran, Sakura, Meling, and
Tomoyo visited it. It's a major part of the movie. 4) Why are
they Clow Cards again? Sakura's dead, so they went back to being
Clow Cards. Just seemed to make sense to me. 5) The apartment
Syaoran went to was the same one he's always lived in.
Ok, bye,
and don't forget to review!
Sakura-chan
Peridots13@mail.com
(preferred)
SakuraBlossoms10@mail.com
November
2000
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There.
The revised version. As you can see, i took out most of the author's
comments and put them at the end. It ruined the mood. A fan
very kindly pointed it out. I kinda figured that while I was writing
it, but I didn't pay much attention. Fomen, I don't know what I was
thinking. Hey, don't blame me though, I was a novice. Now,
I'm an experienced writer. =) Anywayz, I hope this was better.
Review and tell me if it was!
Sincerely,
Sakura-chan
October
12, 2001