Three

by Pilot02
[It Must Be The Goggles]
http://mbg.100megsfree4.com/

AN: One specific line of this (Three actually, but they are
originally combined into one) is based on one line of the
song "Glycerine" by Bush.


There was always the underlying fear. Always.

I can never remember back to a time when I was secure in the knowledge that you would stay by my side forever.

Emotional security is not one of my strong points, if you can tell. Computer technology, I can do anything with. Emotions? I don't understand.

And there's the fear.

Fear I know, and I know well. Whether it be fear like you feel when your life is threatened, or fear like you feel when your life is threatening to fall in on you and bury you in the rubble with no way out and no way to breathe and no one there to find you--they are both as intimately familiar with me as I am with them.

My life has fallen in on me--several times, in fact.

The most impacting time had to have been when I found I was adopted. Another was when my boyfriend dumped me.

And then you came.

The fear subsided.

You said you loved me, that you would always be there for me, that you would try your best to never let me down. You said you knew what I had been through, that I hadn't deserved to go through it all, that you would protect me from the future.

But now, the fear is returning.

You are by far the most popular kid in the whole senior class. Even after coming out to the people, they still accepted you into their community. I remained a social outcast.

I am afraid that you will find someone more suited to your lifestyle, more popular, more outgoing than I am.

And then you will leave me. For them, you would leave me behind.

But would you really? You promised. You promised that you would never leave me, you would always be there for me, and you would stay.

Yagami Taichi does not break his promises. I know this. However, I often wonder if it was the right thing for you to do--to promise me this. By doing this, you tied yourself to me; you devoted yourself to me and me alone. Why would you do this?

Do you really love me? Am I capable of being loved, really? Me, the computer genius, social failure?

Yes?

Thank you.

I understand now that you really will never leave me, and I've made up my mind. I will try my hardest to cast away the fear.

Until then, it remains three.

My old friend fear.

And you.

And me.