A You Won
A You Won't Be Mine
Won't Be Mine
A HP Song fic By Kristen Bays
Lyrics from "Won't Be Mine" by Matchbox Twenty
Disclamer: I
don't own Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Voldemort, Dumbledor,
anything magical, or the song Wont be mine…they belong to JK Rowling and
Matchbox Twenty, respectively. The
only things I own are some clothes, some CDs, a computer, copies of the HP
books, and an over active imagination. I
honestly don't know where this fic came from or why the hell its so
depressing…well actually I do know, I was driving home from school and the
song "Wont be mine" started playing on my mixCD and this was the first thing
that popped into my little brain. If
you have never heard this song you should!
Its by Matchbox Twenty off of their "Mad Season" album.
It's the last song on the cd and if you listen to the end of the track
after about 2.5 minutes of silence you'll get to hear a shweeeeeeet symphonic
version of the songs main melody.
Oh. And I have
to rate this "R" cause Sirius is a potty mouth and likes to say the f word a
lot. Plus it deals with some mature
themes like suicide (No one dies though!)
Parts 1 and 2 take place some time before Prisoner of
Azkaban, Part 3 takes place sometime before book 4 but its not specific.
If you havent read book 4 yet, part 3 might not make since cause you
don't know that Snape was a deatheater…oops.
Anywho…on with the fic!
Part 1/3: Remus
Lupin
Take your head around
the world
See what you get
From your mind
Out. I had to
leave. I had to get away from
everything. From Gordric's Hollow
where I had lived next door to the Potters, from England, from my memories and
regrets, from my guilt. I still to
this day blame their deaths on myself. If
only…. But I digress. Hindsight
is always 20-20. After Sirius'
trial and imprisonment in the hell the wizarding world calls "Azkaban" I
left Great Britain. I didn't
really care where I went.
The first ship leaving port that I found was headed for
Russia through the North Sea so I took it, stowing away until I was found and
kicked off. For a while I lived in
Romania, helping the local wizarding folk ward off pests and unwanted magical
nuisances. That is until they found
out what I was and booted me out. From
there I traveled south, to Turkey and Greece, then on to Israel and Egypt.
For a long time I bandied the idea 'round in my head to
go farther east, to India and China. I
had always heard tales of great wolf packs that had made their way to the
Himalayans and were living quite peacefully out of the jurisdiction of human
kind.
Human-kind. Haha.
I suppose that it's funny after all the time I spent with humans I
can't think of myself as one. Even
my human name marks me as an outsider. Lupin.
Wolf. It's almost as if
fate branded me to be sub-human from the beginning.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents were strong in divination.
Write your soul down
word for word
See who's your
friend
Who is kind
I never made it to the orient. I was somewhere living on a street in Iraq when I saw a group
of Europian wizards on holiday discussing modern affairs in a café.
I eavesdropped a bit, long enough to realize that they were discussing a
book that one had read. Hairy Snout, Human Heart by an anonymous author.
The wizard that had read the book was a critical reviewer for a
well-known literary house, Horatius Literary.
He "was forced" to do a review of the book, in which he "Labeled it
for the foolhearty tripe it was"
"Honestly, who would ever believe that a creature like a
werewolf would be capable of human emotions"
I nearly died in that moment. The anonymous author was myself.
The book was written over the period of 3 summers during my time at
Hogwarts as a type of therapy suggested by Albus Dumbledore.
It was my own personal account of living life and growing up as a
werewolf, a "sub-human" in hopes that "human-kind" would read it and
understand.
Silly me…wanting to change the world in 400 pages.
It probably didn't help that a great deal of the subject
matter discussed in the book was my own personal love life…after all, having a
girlfriend meant letting her be close enough to know what I am.
And what woman could love a monster.
I've resigned my self to the fact I will never find love
It's almost like a
disease
I have the worst disease known to man.
A disease that physically takes away your humanity.
A disease that wont directly kill you ever.
One that is nearly impossible to live with.
I cant live with. Not
anymore.
I know soon you will
be
Over the lies,
you'll be strong
You'll be rich in
love and you will carry on
But no – oh no
No you won't be
mine
Now I run again. I
just want it to end.