Ok, first I gotta say the obvious: I DON'T OWN ANY JOHEN VASQUEZ CHARACTERS! I wish I did, but that's beside the point. I also don't own KidK (she doesn't appear in this fic, but the gang talks about her). I do own me, Kat23a (Kat for short), but if you want to put me in your fanfic, I won't argue. ^_^


BEHIND THE SCENES OF INVADER ZIM: A DOCUMENTARY:

All that can be seen is a fuzzy screen. Several short blobs of sound come through, saying things such as "Wha..", "Th...t butt...n! N...! NOT THA.... ONE!", "Thi....'ve go...it....ERE!"

Suddenly, the sounds are coming through clearly. Two voices can be heard. One is definitely female, but not recognizable. The other one is male, but somehow. . .familiar.

Kat23a: THERE! Got it!

Dib: Can you see anything through the viewscreen?

Kat23a: No, it's still all fuzzy. I have no idea how to work these digital cameras! Why couldn't I have used my good old-fashioned one?

Dib: Because if you're going to make a documentary, you're going to do it right. This is the cutting edge of video technology! Here, try that knob.

Kat23a: (mumbling) I bet Zim would have had one that's better, and easier to use...

Dib: WHAT DID YOU SAY??

Kat23a: Nothing! It's this knob, right?

Dib: Yeah.

The fuzz on the screen wavers, and for a moment, it clears, showing two pairs of feet.

Dib: THERE! Oh, wait, go back.

The picture wavers and focuses once again on the pairs of feet. One is wearing a pair of faded black tennis shoes, the other is wearing a pair of killer boots.

Dib: Did you get it?

Kat23a: Yeah! Look!

The picture suddenly snaps up. The screen jars and there is a muffled "THONK".

Dib: OOOOOOOOOOWWW!! By dose!

The image of Dib holding his nose and stumbling away from the camera comes up. The picture moves closer, jumping.

Kat23a: Oh, I am SO sorry! Are you ok? You're not bleeding, are you?

Dib looks up warily and wipes his nose.

Dib: I'm all right. Just stay on that side of the room.

The camera zooms in, then out to reveal a small room. There are several brooms, mops, and dustpans lying around. The walls are lined with bottles labeled with names like "Al's All- Purpose Cleaner" and "Tiger-Brand Wax."

Kat23a: Ok, camera's set. I've got my notebook, my press pass, and my backpack. Is that all?

Dib: Yes. Oh, wait! No. You forgot your hat. (Holds out hat labeled "Channel 3 News")

Kat23a: Got it. Let's go!

The camera swivels around to focus on a narrow door. The door opens, revealing a warehouse-sized room filled with bustling people carrying piles of paper, filming equipment, props, and other necessities of filming a TV show. The room is also filled with many sets of familiar scenery to IZ fans. The camera zooms in and focuses on several, showing Zim's house, the living room of Zim's house, Zim and Dib's skool classroom, and the interior of Dib's house.

Kat23a: This is amazing.

Dib: Yeah, yeah. Follow me.

The camera focuses on the back of Dib's head, and follows him as he picks his way through a melee (hee, hee, I like that word) of busy people, equipment, and quickly-moving carts. They walk across the large room, and walk into a hallway lined with doors. They stop at one of the doors and the camera focuses in on the name in the door's center; ZIM. Without knocking, Dib opens the door, blocking the view of the inside of the room.

Zim: WAAAAH! Oh, it's just you. Pitiful earth monkey. Get out of my room!

Dib: (coldly) I'm not here to argue with you, alien scum. I just wanted to introduce you to the person who's going to be filming that documentary on the making of Invader Zim.

Dib steps aside, revealing an irate-looking Zim sitting on a high stool in front of a large mirror. The mirror, and the table beneath it, are studded with dozens of pictures of Zim.

Dib: Meet Kat23a, from Channel 3 news.

Kat23a: Call me Kat.

Zim: Ah, my public cannot resist me! They all recognize the greatness that is ZIM!

Dib: The documentary's about all of us, you arrogant ball of slime.

Kat23a: (sensing an opening) Well, I'm especially interested in your side of the story, Zim! ^_^

Dib stares in surprise, then throws up his arms in disgust and leaves.

Zim: Well, you see, I knew that I was destined for greatness ever since I took a bottle from Invader Smeedge at the age of three days...

Two and ½ hours later: The camera angle is slightly tilted, as if the person holding the camera has her head lying to the side. There is the faint sound of snoring. Zim is in his own universe, talking constantly, completely oblivious to the fact that the camera has been taping his kneecaps for over an hour. Suddenly, there is a loud banging noise and the picture jolts upright.

Kat23a: (still half-asleep) Whuzzaat?

Zim: And then, I told Invader Random that he...Gir! What are you doing here?

The camera swivels to reveal a small, squeaking green dog...thing. He looks up at Zim.

Gir: I heard leprechauns! Dey sounded like you, master! ^_^

Zim: That was me, Gir!

Gir: Awwww...I wanted to see the leprechauns.

Gir looks downcast for approximately three seconds, then jumps up, looking at the camera.

Gir: Oooooo! A brainfreezy maker!

Gir suddenly jumps at the camera, grabbing it. Suddenly, the room is full of shouting. The picture shows shaking shots of Gir's face looking excited, a pale brown-haired girl with black clothes and a Celtic cross necklace trying to grab the camera, Zim jumping off his stool, the inside of Gir's mouth, and finally, a shot of Zim holding on to Gir while a handkerchief wipes off the lens.

Gir: (underneath Zim) Hey, the brainfreezy maker's broken!

Gir's head popped out from beneath Zim, and he looked at the camera again.

Gir: Are you a brainfreezy maker lady?

Kat23a: No! This isn't a brainfreezy maker! It's a camera!

Gir: ..............

Zim gets off of Gir and dusts himself off, looking disgusted.

Kat23a: It takes moving pictures for TV.

Gir: ..............

Kat23a: Like the scary monkey show.

Gir: The scary monkey show! I love that show! Is the scary monkey in there? HELLO, SCARY MONKEY!!!

Kat23a: No, he's not in there. I'm taking pictures of you. For a-

Gir: Am I gonna be on the scary monkey show??!! YAYY!!!

Kat23a: (sounding frazzled) No, you're going to be in a documentary on-

Gir: (losing interest) Oooooooh, a dead roach! HELLO, MR. DEAD ROACH!!!

Zim: IF we may get back to the subject, I told Invader Random, "No! Weasels are the future! Whoever controls the weasels, controls the universe!" And then he said-

Kat23a: Oh, wouldyoulookatthetime! You have to begin filming the next show!

Zim: But I...

Kat23a: (heading for the door) And I certainly can't miss the next show! Much more interviewing to do, you know. A reporter's work is never done! Come on, Gir!

Gir: Yayy! Mr. Dead Roach and me are gonna be on the scary monkey show!!





Ok, I already know what's gonna happen in the next chapter. And for those who are wondering when the Halloween stuff is going to begin happening, look for the next installment! I just have to find the time to write it... Oh, well. This is my first fanfic. Tell me what you think!