*sniff, sniff* I TOLD you I don't own any Johen Vasquez characters. Please don't send any more mean lawyers with sharp teeth after me. *holds up mangled rubber chicken* Look what they did to Clucky!

The time: A few minutes later. The place: In the main room, with everybody gathered together on the skool playground set (it's the largest). The mood: Confused, for those who don't know what happened. Somber, for those who do. The camera shows a heightened view from the skool steps. It pans over the confused, chattering crowd, then to the others on the raised area. These include the Insane Director Dude (who is on his fourth cup of java and having a nervous breakdown), Dib, Random Janitor Guy, Gaz (who has actually put her Gameslave DOWN, wow this must be serious), and in a corner away from everybody, Zim. Gaz, Dib, and Kat23a occasionally look over at Zim, as if they are trying to figure out how to comfort him, or, in Dib's case, IF they should try to comfort him. Finally, Insane Director Dude swallows his last cup of java in one gulp (everybody who knows him looks at him warily and edges away from him at this), and steps forward, raising his hands to quiet the crowd.

Insane Director Dude: EVERYBOOODE! I HAAAVE AN IMPOORTANT AND SAAAD ANOUN-CE-MENT TO MAKE! DIRECTLEEE AFTAR THEE LIGHTS WENT OUUUT, A GROOOOUP OF PEOPLE WENT INTO THEE MAAAAIN CONTROL HALL, AND THEY FOOOOUND THAT THE LIGHTS HAAAD BEEN SHUT OFF ON PUUUUUUUURRRRPOOOOOOSSSSEEEE!

Crowd: GASP!

Insane Director Dude: YEEEES! SOMEONE IN THIIIIIIS VEEERY STUDIO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS! BUT THAT IS NOT ALL THAT WAS FOUND!! YOU MAY KNOW THAT KAT23AAAAAA OF CHAAAAANEL THREEEE NEEEEEWS WAS MAKING A DOCUMENTARYYY OF THE MAKING OF INVAAAADER ZIM! SHEEE DISCOVERRED THAAT SOMEOOOONE HAD TAAKEN HER EQUIP-E-MENT SHORTLY AFTER THE EMERGENCY LIGHTSS WENT ON. THEEEEEEESE EQUIP-E-MENT WAS FOUNND IN THEE MAIN CONTROL HALLLLWAAAAAY (pause for dramatic effect)

Crowd: GAS-

Insane Director Dude: ALONG WITH THIIIIS! (Holds up ripped green dog costume)

Crowd: GASP!

A girl in back screams and faints.

Insane Director Dude: THEEE TAPE REMAINING IN THEE CAMERA WAS QUICKLY EXAMMMINED FOR CLUUUES. I WEEEEEEL NOW GIVE YOU KAT23AAAA, WHO WILL TELL YOOOOOOU WHAT WAS FOOOOOOOUUUUUNNNDD!

The camera suddenly moves, as if it is being passed to someone. After a few moments of shaking, the screen steadies, and Kat23a can be seen going up to the front of the steps. She looks rather nervous, and straightens her clothes before beginning.

Kat23a: *ahem* Well, luckily we were using a digital camera, so we could immediately view what was taped before.

The camera suddenly swivels to reveal Dib's face (he's holding it).

Dib: (quietly) I TOLD her a digital camera was better.

The camera swivels back to Kat23a, who hasn't noticed Dib's comment to the camera.

Kat23a: What we found led us to believe that Gir had taken the camera, along with my press pass and hat.

Crazed Gir Fan: NOOOOO! GIR IS NOT A THIEF! I WILL DISEMBOWEL YOU FOR SUCH BLASPHEMY!!!

Crazed Gir Fan begins to run towards the stage, wielding a plastic spork with deadly precision and beheading two gnomes from the set of Zim's house.

Kat23a: (alarmed at approaching Spork of Doom) NO! No, you misunderstand! He didn't know that they belonged to someone!

Insane Director Dude: (leaping forward, knocking Kat23a off the stairs) NOOOOO FANS ALOOOOOWED! THEEESE IS A PRIVAAATE MEEETING FOR CAST AND CREEEEW ONLEEE!

Two gorillas badly disguised as security guards suddenly materialize beside Crazed Gir Fan and grab him, disappearing as quickly as they came.

Not-So-Crazed Gir Fan: eep.

Kat23a: (pulling herself out of the bushes onto the stairs and spitting leaves out of her mouth) *spit* AS I WAS SAYING, Gir evidently had the camera. The tape revealed that he went down the main control hall. Some footsteps were heard behind him, but as he turned to see what the sound was, the lights went out. A few moments later, the camera dropped to the ground and the footsteps hurried away. You know the rest of the story. BUT something was discovered as we went through the film frame-by-frame. We found a...well...I suppose that you had better see for yourself.(she points to the back)

A large-screen television had been wheeled behind the crowd while they were absorbed in the drama going on around the stairs and the lawn gnomes. It now goes on, and reveals the dark scene of the control hallway.

Kat23a: Okay, begin the movie.

The scene on the TV suddenly shows the camera bouncing towards some shiny, brightly colored buttons. Suddenly, footsteps can be heard (everyone is being quiet and the sound is turned up very loud, okay?). The camera turns towards the noise but there is the sound of a switch being thrown, and the lights go off.

Kat23a: STOP! Stop right there.

The picture stops, showing the scene of the dark hallway.

Kat23a: Okay, go back about two frames.

The picture goes back slowly, and shows the scene of the hallway a moment before the lights went off. Silhouetted against the bright light at the end of the hallway is a very tall, dark, ominous figure.

Crowd: GASP!

Two more people scream and faint. One is the Insane Director Dude.

Kat23a: This was the being that grabbed Gir. As of this moment, all we can be sure of is that he/she/it is extremely tall, extremely dangerous, and...(suddenly Kat23a's face is full of scary shadows, and she has an eerily familiar creepy grin) is in this building RIGHT NOW!

Ominous Echoes: Right now, right now, right now...

Everyone look around at the echoes, and more than a few have to repress a frightened shudder.

Keef: (who has no sense of dramatic timing) But how do you KNOW that it's still he-

Kat23a: I JUST DO, OKAY! (recovers herself, replaces evil grin) *ahem* These sorts of twisted creatures never leave the scene of their crimes until their grisly duty is finished.

Ominous Echoes: Finished, finished, finished...

There is a low moan behind the camera at this, and a sudden thud. The camera whirls to reveal Zim, who has fainted dead away.

Kat23a: (who has just realized what she has said) Umm...

There is an awkward silence.

Insane Director Dude suddenly leaps forward, throwing both Kat23a and Dib into the bushes this time. The picture flies through the air, shows flashes of a lot of leaves, then hits the ground. The sound, however, is still working fine.

Insane Director Dude: I KNOW WEEE HAVE ALL BEEN AFFEEECTED BY THEEESE TRAGEDY! BUT NOT TO WORRRY! IIIIII HAAVE BEEN READING MY PSYCHOLOOOOGY BOOOOOKS, AND I KNOW THAT THEEE BEST WAY TO REMOVE GRIEF IS TO THRRRRRROW YOURSELF INTO YOURRR WORK! SO, WE WILLL BE WORKING EXTRAAAAA HARD TONIGHT! (groans galore) THEEE PIZZA WEEEL BE HERE IN ABOUT HALF AN HOOOOUR! (groans, but not as many) WEEE MUST ALLL LOOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE! FOOOOR EXAMPLEEE, GIR ONLEEEE APPPEARED ONCE IN THEEEESE EPISODE, AND WE ALREADY FILMED HIS PARRRRRT! (groan, groan, groan)

Kat23a: (with more leaves in her mouth) *spit, spit* Is he always this /sensitive/?

Dib: *spit, spit, spit* Compared to normal, that was downright compassionate.

Kat23a: You'd think he would at least respect Zim's feelings.

Dib: Zim's unconscious at the moment. Hmmm, I wonder how THAT happened.

Kat23a: ^_^* Ahahaha... Here, help me find where the camera landed...

There is a lot of crashing around, and several twigs fall in the view of the screen.

Dib: Well, so much for THAT bush...wait, Kat! Here it is!

The screen shakes, and suddenly lifts into the air. It turns to show Kat23a crawling out of the bushes. She has twigs stuck in her hair and a smear of mud on one cheek. Dib begins laughing as she straightens up.

Kat23a: What??!

Dib just points and continues laughing. Kat23a catches sight of herself in a window and begins to wipe off the mud, scowling. With the other hand, she reaches for the camera.

Kat23a: Gimme that. You don't look like a basket of roses, yourself.

The screen shakes as the camera is passed from one person to the other. Then, it focuses on Dib, who is plastered with leaves and has a slug on his forehead. Kat23a begins to laugh. Dib opens his trenchcoat and groans as a pile of leaves fall out. A few minutes later, they're relatively clean, and the screen begins to move back towards the stairs.

Kat23a: I still want to apologize to Zim for my comments earlier. I don't know what came over me! I'm normally so kind and caring and humble...

Dib: (mumbling) Yeah, right.

Kat23a: What??!

Dib: Nothing! What DID come over you? You looked kinda...strange. With scary shadows and ominous echoes and everything.

Kat23a: I don't know. I suddenly felt... I don't know another word for it...eeeeviiiiil...

Ominous Echoes: Eeeeviiiiil, eeeeviiiiil, eeeviiiiil...

Dib: There! There it was again!

Kat23a: Weird.

Dib: Yeah. Weird.

The screen goes up the stairs, but Zim isn't there anymore. The picture turns, and Zim is seen walking away towards the Insane Director Dude.

Dib: Hmm. Guess he wants to be left alone...

Dib walks away, but the picture remains focused on the retreating back of Zim for several minutes, as if Kat23a was wondering what he was feeling, and maybe feeling sorry.

Kat23a: *sigh* I guess I'll turn this off until everything gets started again.

The screen shakes and goes blank. A moment later, it turns back on, revealing the set for the interior of Dib's house. The filming is already going on. Dib has just stuck the incriminating disk into an envelope and is watching "Mysterious Mysteries". The scene looks pretty strange. They are saying the familiar lines and doing the familiar actions, but something is definitely wrong. All the characters (even Gaz) look like they are paying very little attention to what they are doing. They keep on going, though...

Zim: (to Dib) *sigh* (in a monotone) At-this-very-moment-I'm-inside-a-microscopic- submersible-somewhere-inside-your-disgusting-belly-attached-to-your-arm-control-nerve.

Dib: *sigh* Arm-control-nerve?

Zim: *sigh, scratches his side* Yes-arm-control-nerve.

Dib: In-my-belly?

Zim: Yes.

Dib: *groan* Humans-don't-have-arm-control-nerves.

At this last toneless sentence, the Insane Director Dude, who has been sitting on his chair with an entire pot of java in one hand and quivering more and more with each monotonic (is that a word?) syllable, jumps up and runs onto the stage.

Insane Director Dude: NO! NONONONONOOOOO!! YOU MUST THRRRROW YOUR FEELINGS INTOO YOUR WORK! (He throws his arms wide, spilling his java) YOU HAVE LOST YOURRR FEEEELINGS! FIND THE FEELINGS! FIND THE FEELINGS!

Zim just looks downcast, not paying much attention. Dib looks at Zim, looks down as if considering something, then takes a deep breath and steps forward.

Dib: (steeling himself) Well, you see, I can't really concentrate because I know that there's some kind of homicidal maniac (oooh, is that a clue?) in here, and (he looks at Zim again, then rushes on) Zim's probably sad because he misses Gir, so couldn'tasearchpartygolookingforGir?

The screen abruptly straightens up, as if the person holding the camera is suddenly interested in the conversation. Zim quickly looked up at Dib at that last sentence, an unreadable expression on his face.

Kat23a: (to herself) Wow, is it just me, or did /Dib/ just do something /nice/ for /Zim/?

Insane Director Dude: *SIGH* (he can't do anything quietly) ALRIGHT! ALRIIIIGHT! (He points to some skool children waiting for the pizza) YOU! COME HEEERE! (They come over. There's about eight of them.) YOU HAVE OF-FI-CI-AL-LY BEEEN APPOINTED THE JOB OF FINNNNDING GIR! NOWWW, BEGONE WITH YOOOOOOUUU!

Keef: (who is with them) But didn't that evil monster-thing take take Gir?

Insane Director Dude: YES! NOW GO! GO OR NO PIZZAAAA FOR YOUUUUU!

They all leave quickly at the prospect of no pizza.

Dib: (to himself) Kids are not exactly what I had in mind...

Insane Director Dude: NOW! WEEE DO THE SCEEEENE OVERRR! PLACES, EVERYONE! (Guess what? They're still in their places) LIGHTS! (The lights are already on, too) CAMOOORAAAA! (The camera never stopped rolling) AAAAACCCCCTTTTIIIIIOOOOONNN!

The scene begins again, and the camera tapes it as the actors do it several more times. They seem more into their roles now, and they finally do get a take that will be used in the actual show. When this happens, Insane Director Dude throws down his pot of java, jumps up and down ecstatically, and collapses on the floor in a heap. The actors merely watch this. The picture moves onto the stage, next to Dib.

Kat23a: Ummm...is he all right?

Dib: Oh, he always does this when we get a scene right. He'll wake up in a minute or two.

Suddenly, a sound is heard that makes the heart quicken. This sound brings families together, countries together. Yea, it even ties our world together in its simplicity and in its message. This sound makes all who hear it stand up, feel a sudden swell of patriotism in their hearts, makes a tear come to their eye. Well, all HUMANS, anyway...

Mob: PIIIIIIIZZZZZZZAAAAAA!

At this sound, all the human members of the cast and crew whip their heads towards the source of the commotion; a scrawny teenage guy (reminiscent of the MacMeaties guy) whose face resembles a pizza itself. He's carrying what looks like at least thirty boxes, and he's looking terrified at the mob which is rushing him at speeds upwards of fifty miles an hour. Gaz is in the lead. He whirls and tries to make a break for it, but the mob catches him and he disappears beneath an inferno of hungry cheese worshipers. Dib runs after them. Zim turns red again and runs for the restroom. Kat23a runs to dark corner, sets down the camera so that it's facing the mob, and runs after Dib, yelling "Wait for me! Save me pepperoni!" There's still a leaf sticking out of one of her sneakers. The screen films the mob for several more minutes, then quiet footsteps are heard behind the camera. It is picked up (gee, this sounds familiar). The person holding it is evidently much taller than Gir, or even Kat23a. The camera slowly pans over the mob, then alights on the form of the Insane Director Dude, who is still lying unconscious on the floor. The screen gets closer, and a low chuckle is heard. Insane Director Dude is suddenly dragged towards the camera, but the hand that is doing the dragging can't be seen. There is a low grunt, and the screen wobbles for a bit, then straightens. Whoever is holding the camera evidently just threw the Insane Director Dude over his/her/it's shoulder, since one of Insane Director Dude's feet can be seen in the corner of the screen. The picture turns, and begins to head towards another hallway, though not the main control hallway. As it enters the hallway, voices can be heard towards the end, around the corner.

Nervous Sounding Girl: I-I-I really think th-that we should go b-back.

Another Nervous Sounding Girl: Yeah, I think I heard the word "pizza."

Keef: And who knows where that monster is!

Heroic-Sounding Guy: No! We promised to find Gir! We have to stay until we find Gir!

The camera moves past a large switch on the wall, there is a click, and the lights go out in the hallway.

Not-So-Heroic-Sounding Guy: Uh, on second thought, pizza sounds good right now. Let's go.

The camera turns the corner, and shows eight small forms heading right for them. They stop suddenly, and one of the girls gives a faint scream. There is a thud, and Insane Director Dude can be seen landing on the floor. The low, evil chuckle can be heard again, and a dark hand comes up, putting the lens cap over the camera. There are multiple screams, which are each suddenly cut short. There is a THONK, as if the camera was set down hard on the ground, and then the sound of several things being dragged away. For an indeterminate amount of time, all that can be heard is the pizza mob. Then, the soft footsteps come back, and there is the sound of the camera being picked up. The lens cap is taken off, revealing the dark hallway. The picture moves forward, and turns the corner. As it passes the light switch, another small click is heard, and the lights go on again. The picture moves back out into the main room, then to the set showing the inside of Dib's house. The camera is put back in the same place it was before, and the footsteps can be heard walking away. For about fifteen more minutes, the camera simply tapes the mob, which has somehow gone beyond the mosh pit stage and now resembles nothing so much as a giant, jumping ball of cheese. Finally, the cheese ball breaks apart, and the various members of it go in separate directions to clean the cheese out of their hair. A few minutes later, Zim, screaming, runs away in the opposite direction of the bathrooms, which have suddenly been crowded with cheese-covered humans. A few minutes after THAT, mostly everybody is clean, and Kat23a returns to reclaim her camera, unaware of what grisly clues it now holds...


HAHAHAHAHA! ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER! I AM SOOOO EVIL! Anyway, the next installment, which just might be the grand finale (I'm not sure yet. If it's not, then the one after it will be) should be out either this Thursday or this Friday (Oct.4 and 5). At the very EXTREMELY latest, it will be out by Saturday. REVIEW! DO IT FOR CLUCKY!!! Thanx to all those who have already reviewed!