Apathy and Uncertainty
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Part 4
"Nostalgia of What Shouldn't Be"
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"A feeling of sadness and longing
That is not akin to pain
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain."
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
(1807-82)
U.S. Poet
Taken from "The Day is Done"
***
"FIGHT!" The game said as Fae mindlessly pounded on the standard arcade machine buttons. People gathered around only to see how badly she could get her ass kicked, but were surprised when they saw that she wielded the character Steve Fox with a surprising amount of skill.
"Steve, you're such a manwhore…kick his ass…" She gritted her teeth and concentrated on Heihachi's health, making sure she occasionally looked at what her fingers were doing.
"You win!" Fae hmphed in pride, and kept playing until she got bored. She'd gotten so much practice on this machine, and it was *so* old…
She just loved the game. She would have entered tournaments, but the game was merely to relieve stress and get her mind off of things. Which, of course, made her a regular at the arcade. She was surprised that they hadn't installed an intercom system telling people to clear away from the Tekken 4 machine when she walked through the doors by now. But other regulars respected her, and cleared away when she came in.
She could be very menacing if she didn't get her daily dose of T4.
"So, Fae, you packin' up for today?" Darron, another regular at the arcade, asked Fae eagerly.
"Yeah. The machine's all yours." 'Bitch…' she added under her breath.
"Thanks!" She heard him yell before she left the arcade. She pretty much hated the people in there. Most of the people who went there were newbies, and Fae despised newbies almost as she despised cocky players. Newbies had no respect for anyone…
Fae wandered the streets of her hometown for a bit, wondering what she should do next and trying to rid her mind of the visions of Antaremon she had been having as of late. The memories of the scorpion like creature haunted her constantly. She had struggled to remember all these years, and suddenly they come rushing back to her? Something definitely wasn't in it's place…
Did she really miss that creature, though? The one that caused her so much trouble? She stuck with it, though. …Did she love it? She supposed she did. Otherwise she wouldn't have given it the time of day…
Taking a shortcut to avoid the troubled neighborhoods, Fae decided to make her way home at a very slow pace. She needed some time to think, and her three hour Tekken4 binge had done nothing to ease her mind. She knew her mom wasn't worried about her…her mom didn't care about much of anything nowadays. Fae could sleep on the streets and come home the next day, and she wouldn't receive a greeting, a 'How was your day, honey?', or even a "WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH?! I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!! GODDAMN YOU!! YOU'RE TOO IRRESPONSIBLE!!"
Fae kicked a rock, angry at her mother. How the hell could *she* be so irresponsible?! Not even caring about her own daughter…All she wanted was some attention. Not even a lot of attention. Just enough to know that someone would care if she was found dead in the streets.
"No…No, Fae, you're not going to concentrate on your bitch/whore mother. You need to concentrate on happy things. Or even not-so-happy things. So long as they aren't your own problems…" She whispered to herself as she walked down a familiar ally, her combat books clunking on the sidewalk the only sound that reached her ears…
***
"Antaremon, where are you going?"
"Home, silly!! Everyone has a home, don't they?"
"Umm…I guess so."
"Guess? Hee hee! That sounds fun! Let's play a game!!"
"No, no games, Antaremon…"
"Why not?"
"Because I can't be late for supper…mommy might get mad…"
"Mad, schmad! Who cares? Let's play!"
"If you say so…"
"Let's go to my home!! That should be a lot of fun!!"
"…But…"
"No buts, let's go!!"
…movement…I'm nowhere!!…no solid ground!! Where am I?! Am I still alive?!
Antaremon, what've you done to me?!
"Grrr…isn't this *fun*, little Fae?!"
…so cold…
"You don't *like* playing with me, DO YOU, little Fae?!"
…growling…your voice changed, Antaremon…
"You like to RESTRICT—"
…pain…Antaremon, what are you doing?!
"—my fun, DON'T you, little Fae?"
…Antaremon, quit it…your claws hurt! You're making my arms bleed!!
"I'm just a figment of your imagination, RIGHT—"
Ca…can't…breathe…le…let go…of…m…my neck!! An…Antarem…on!!
"—little Fae?!"
…so…cold…
"You don't LIKE this, do you, little Fae?!"
…can't…see…black, blinding light…
…metamorphed voices…
…Antaremon, why are you being so evil?!…
"I'll send you spiraling into oblivion, LITTLE FAE!!"
…screams…
…my screams…?
"CRIMSON LIGHTNING!!"
…burning…
…evil laughter…
…raining fire…
…shadows…shadows everywhere!!…
…why's everything so red?!…
…I feel like I'm on fire…
…it hurts so bad, Antaremon!!…
…you're not Antaremon anymore…
…you're too evil to be Antaremon…
"I WON'T HAVE IT!!" I felt my rage burning hotter than the air surrounding me…
Fae woke with a scream.
***
Author's Notes: I'm writing for the sake of writing now, and I'm not currently caring about how many reviews I get. Those that actually stumble across this, I hope you're enjoying my pisspoor ability to write.
