As the last of the commercials faded away, the screen displayed a man in a business suit and glasses on a dim soundstage. He was facing the camera.
"Hello. I'm Tetsu Gobun. Thank you for joining me. Tonight, we'll be taking a look at the newest world champion of martial arts. Just who is this man of mystery who stunned the world by defeating Mr. Satan? See the results of our investigation, starting now."
In a curvy, stylized font, the words "Who Is Vegeta Briefs?" appeared superimposed over the image of Tetsu Gobun. They soon disappeared, to be replaced with "Produced by Moudan Iyashinbou." Then came "Directed by Kiza Boukun."
When those words dissolved, Tetsu Gobun began to walk around the empty soundstage as he talked. "Where to begin with a man such as this? Well, perhaps the best place to start is the beginning. That is, his childhood. Unfortunately, not much is known about his formative years, but we have been able to piece together some information with the help of several individuals near and dear to him."
The screen switched over to a shot of Mrs. Briefs. Tetsu Gobun's voice played over it. "This is his mother-in-law. According to her, Vegeta and his father were very close."
His voice stopped, and the Mrs. Briefs onscreen began to talk. "From what I understand, they loved each other very much. He referred to his father as 'the king' and his father called him 'prince,' isn't that adorable? I've never heard him speak about his mother, though."
Now the display onscreen was a still picture of Vegeta that had been taken during a formal Capsule Corporation event last year. "Despite the love and care of his father," Tetsu Gobun's voiceover continued, "His childhood years were not easy."
The screen switched to a display of Turles. "This is Turles, one of Vegeta's childhood friends. According to him, both he and Vegeta, as well as several other individuals--all of whom are currently living at Capsule Corporation--belonged to a gang."
"Yes," said Turles, "We were all Saiyans. There was Prince Vegeta, and me, and Broli, and Raditz, and Nappa, and Bardock, and Kakarot--whom you know better as Son Goku. There were many more, but of course they were all killed during the slaughter of Vegetasei by Freeza. Vegeta's father, the King, was killed too, naturally."
The scene now switched to an inner-city ghetto. "The use of the terms prince and king by his friends as well seems to indicate that Vegeta was the leader of this gang called the Saiyans. From Turles's description, the Saiyans appear to have been quite a large gang. However, this even more mysterious person known only as 'Freeza,' perhaps the leader of a rival gang seems to have been behind a bloody mass murder which resulted in the deaths of all the others save for those listed by Turles. Apparently out of spite, this Freeza also killed, or ordered to be killed, Vegeta's father. We talked to another of the surviving Saiyans, Raditz, about it."
Now Raditz was onscreen. "Freeza did the vast majority of it, that short white bastard. Some of his followers helped too, like that fat pink bastard Dodoria or that prettyboy green bastard Zarbon, but most of it was Freeza's doing."
The screen now displayed the Son family house in the mountains. "This is where Son Goku, called Kakarot by his Saiyan friends, now lives with his wife Chi-Chi, youngest son Goten, father-in-law Gyu-Mao, and--quite interestingly--his father Bardock, who was also a Saiyan. From what we've gathered, both Bardock and Nappa appear to be many years older than Vegeta. That they allowed him to be the head of the gang attests to his fighting skills at even that age."
Appearing onscreen was a certain spiky-haired fighter. "Here's Son Goku himself, on what he can remember about being a Saiyan."
"Yeah, Kakarot's my Saiyan name. They all still call me that," he said, chuckling. "I don't remember where exactly Vegetasei is, but you have to understand that I was very young the last time I was there, that was before I even met Bulma."
The ghetto returned to the screen. "Although none of the other Saiyans would reveal where Vegetasei--probably a nickname for a neighborhood of a large city--was, we believe that we know enough about it to present this recreation of the Vegetasei massacre."
A group of about thirty or so individuals entered the alley onscreen. Most were teenagers, wearing what was in fashion among the rebellious youths of thirty-odd years ago. There were, however, a few adults.
At the head of the pack was a teenager with pointy-hair, obviously intended to be Vegeta. It was easy to pick out the ones who represented Raditz, Nappa, Bardock, Kakarot, Turles, and Broli. Suddenly there was a loud bang and one of the others collapsed to the ground. The gang whirled to see three other teenagers standing behind them holding guns. One was short with white hair, one was rotund with hair dyed pink, and the last was tall and thin with flowing green hair.
As the gang tried to flee, the others kept firing until most of the Saiyans had fallen, with the survivors having managed to escape through the other end of the alley.
"Freeza and his thugs met their own horrible fates years later, according to Vegeta's oldest son, Mirai."
The young man with long purple hair appeared. "My father says that he killed Dodoria and Zarbon about eighteen years ago or so. As for Freeza, I took care of him myself. Freeza and his own father showed up looking for revenge about fifteen years ago. They tried to kill us all, but I managed to take care of them instead."
The scene now returned to Tetsu Gobun on his dim soundstage. "After the Vegetasei massacre, the surviving Saiyans drifted apart. Son Goku trained under the great martial arts master Kamesen'nin and went on to become one of the world's foremost martial arts practitioners. The others refused to discuss their past. And as for Vegeta himself, he seems to have disappeared until approximately sixteen years ago, when he moved into the headquarters of Capsule Corporation. Over the next several years, he and the Capsule heiress, Bulma Briefs, fell in love with one another and had a second child, Trunks. We spoke to Bulma's old boyfriend, Yamcha, who--surprisingly--lives in Capsule Corporation today."
The scarred ex-bandit looked angry. "No, I will not tell you anything about how this situation came about. I will not tell you how or why Bulma and I broke up. I will not tell you how or why the two of them got together. All three of us were hurt in various ways and in varying degrees when all that was going on. We've all agreed--which is very rare for us--to never discuss those events with anyone else."
The display shifted to a picture of Mirai and Trunks battling it out at the just completed Tenka'ichi Budokai. "There is one question that remains unanswered. At the time Mirai was supposedly born, Bulma was still attached to Yamcha. However, everyone involved agrees that Mirai is the son of Bulma and Vegeta. Did she perhaps meet him and have a brief romantic fling, resulting in their first son? When we asked Mirai if he knew the circumstances surrounding his birth, he simply told us, 'That's your job to find out, you're the reporters.' His younger brother was no more helpful."
Now Trunks was onscreen. "All right, I admit it, Mirai and I are the same person, just alternate timeline deviates of each other." He rolled his eyes. "Of course I don't know how he was born!"
The new display was a picture of Vegeta, Mirai, and Trunks that Bulma had had taken by the Capsule Corporation's public relations department. "The far past of Vegeta may be shrouded in mystery, but more recent events are well in the spotlight. It is believed that both he and Mirai were two of the participants in the Cell Games. Trunks won the Junior Division of the 25th Budokai. Vegeta himself was a participant in that, although with all the mass confusion at that one he never got to actually fight. And of course, all three entered the 26th Budokai, with Vegeta taking the championship."
It went back to Tetsu Gobun and his soundstage. "With all we don't know about him, what DO we know? We know he's a loyal friend, a loving husband, a caring father...and of course, a superb martial artist. Thank you for watching, and goodnight." The end credits began to roll.
There was a complete and utter silence for a moment as the residents of Capsule Corporation tried to digest what they had just seen. Then, one by one, they all burst into outrageous laughter.
All except for Vegeta, who sat unmoving in his chair, jaw agape.
"Hello. I'm Tetsu Gobun. Thank you for joining me. Tonight, we'll be taking a look at the newest world champion of martial arts. Just who is this man of mystery who stunned the world by defeating Mr. Satan? See the results of our investigation, starting now."
In a curvy, stylized font, the words "Who Is Vegeta Briefs?" appeared superimposed over the image of Tetsu Gobun. They soon disappeared, to be replaced with "Produced by Moudan Iyashinbou." Then came "Directed by Kiza Boukun."
When those words dissolved, Tetsu Gobun began to walk around the empty soundstage as he talked. "Where to begin with a man such as this? Well, perhaps the best place to start is the beginning. That is, his childhood. Unfortunately, not much is known about his formative years, but we have been able to piece together some information with the help of several individuals near and dear to him."
The screen switched over to a shot of Mrs. Briefs. Tetsu Gobun's voice played over it. "This is his mother-in-law. According to her, Vegeta and his father were very close."
His voice stopped, and the Mrs. Briefs onscreen began to talk. "From what I understand, they loved each other very much. He referred to his father as 'the king' and his father called him 'prince,' isn't that adorable? I've never heard him speak about his mother, though."
Now the display onscreen was a still picture of Vegeta that had been taken during a formal Capsule Corporation event last year. "Despite the love and care of his father," Tetsu Gobun's voiceover continued, "His childhood years were not easy."
The screen switched to a display of Turles. "This is Turles, one of Vegeta's childhood friends. According to him, both he and Vegeta, as well as several other individuals--all of whom are currently living at Capsule Corporation--belonged to a gang."
"Yes," said Turles, "We were all Saiyans. There was Prince Vegeta, and me, and Broli, and Raditz, and Nappa, and Bardock, and Kakarot--whom you know better as Son Goku. There were many more, but of course they were all killed during the slaughter of Vegetasei by Freeza. Vegeta's father, the King, was killed too, naturally."
The scene now switched to an inner-city ghetto. "The use of the terms prince and king by his friends as well seems to indicate that Vegeta was the leader of this gang called the Saiyans. From Turles's description, the Saiyans appear to have been quite a large gang. However, this even more mysterious person known only as 'Freeza,' perhaps the leader of a rival gang seems to have been behind a bloody mass murder which resulted in the deaths of all the others save for those listed by Turles. Apparently out of spite, this Freeza also killed, or ordered to be killed, Vegeta's father. We talked to another of the surviving Saiyans, Raditz, about it."
Now Raditz was onscreen. "Freeza did the vast majority of it, that short white bastard. Some of his followers helped too, like that fat pink bastard Dodoria or that prettyboy green bastard Zarbon, but most of it was Freeza's doing."
The screen now displayed the Son family house in the mountains. "This is where Son Goku, called Kakarot by his Saiyan friends, now lives with his wife Chi-Chi, youngest son Goten, father-in-law Gyu-Mao, and--quite interestingly--his father Bardock, who was also a Saiyan. From what we've gathered, both Bardock and Nappa appear to be many years older than Vegeta. That they allowed him to be the head of the gang attests to his fighting skills at even that age."
Appearing onscreen was a certain spiky-haired fighter. "Here's Son Goku himself, on what he can remember about being a Saiyan."
"Yeah, Kakarot's my Saiyan name. They all still call me that," he said, chuckling. "I don't remember where exactly Vegetasei is, but you have to understand that I was very young the last time I was there, that was before I even met Bulma."
The ghetto returned to the screen. "Although none of the other Saiyans would reveal where Vegetasei--probably a nickname for a neighborhood of a large city--was, we believe that we know enough about it to present this recreation of the Vegetasei massacre."
A group of about thirty or so individuals entered the alley onscreen. Most were teenagers, wearing what was in fashion among the rebellious youths of thirty-odd years ago. There were, however, a few adults.
At the head of the pack was a teenager with pointy-hair, obviously intended to be Vegeta. It was easy to pick out the ones who represented Raditz, Nappa, Bardock, Kakarot, Turles, and Broli. Suddenly there was a loud bang and one of the others collapsed to the ground. The gang whirled to see three other teenagers standing behind them holding guns. One was short with white hair, one was rotund with hair dyed pink, and the last was tall and thin with flowing green hair.
As the gang tried to flee, the others kept firing until most of the Saiyans had fallen, with the survivors having managed to escape through the other end of the alley.
"Freeza and his thugs met their own horrible fates years later, according to Vegeta's oldest son, Mirai."
The young man with long purple hair appeared. "My father says that he killed Dodoria and Zarbon about eighteen years ago or so. As for Freeza, I took care of him myself. Freeza and his own father showed up looking for revenge about fifteen years ago. They tried to kill us all, but I managed to take care of them instead."
The scene now returned to Tetsu Gobun on his dim soundstage. "After the Vegetasei massacre, the surviving Saiyans drifted apart. Son Goku trained under the great martial arts master Kamesen'nin and went on to become one of the world's foremost martial arts practitioners. The others refused to discuss their past. And as for Vegeta himself, he seems to have disappeared until approximately sixteen years ago, when he moved into the headquarters of Capsule Corporation. Over the next several years, he and the Capsule heiress, Bulma Briefs, fell in love with one another and had a second child, Trunks. We spoke to Bulma's old boyfriend, Yamcha, who--surprisingly--lives in Capsule Corporation today."
The scarred ex-bandit looked angry. "No, I will not tell you anything about how this situation came about. I will not tell you how or why Bulma and I broke up. I will not tell you how or why the two of them got together. All three of us were hurt in various ways and in varying degrees when all that was going on. We've all agreed--which is very rare for us--to never discuss those events with anyone else."
The display shifted to a picture of Mirai and Trunks battling it out at the just completed Tenka'ichi Budokai. "There is one question that remains unanswered. At the time Mirai was supposedly born, Bulma was still attached to Yamcha. However, everyone involved agrees that Mirai is the son of Bulma and Vegeta. Did she perhaps meet him and have a brief romantic fling, resulting in their first son? When we asked Mirai if he knew the circumstances surrounding his birth, he simply told us, 'That's your job to find out, you're the reporters.' His younger brother was no more helpful."
Now Trunks was onscreen. "All right, I admit it, Mirai and I are the same person, just alternate timeline deviates of each other." He rolled his eyes. "Of course I don't know how he was born!"
The new display was a picture of Vegeta, Mirai, and Trunks that Bulma had had taken by the Capsule Corporation's public relations department. "The far past of Vegeta may be shrouded in mystery, but more recent events are well in the spotlight. It is believed that both he and Mirai were two of the participants in the Cell Games. Trunks won the Junior Division of the 25th Budokai. Vegeta himself was a participant in that, although with all the mass confusion at that one he never got to actually fight. And of course, all three entered the 26th Budokai, with Vegeta taking the championship."
It went back to Tetsu Gobun and his soundstage. "With all we don't know about him, what DO we know? We know he's a loyal friend, a loving husband, a caring father...and of course, a superb martial artist. Thank you for watching, and goodnight." The end credits began to roll.
There was a complete and utter silence for a moment as the residents of Capsule Corporation tried to digest what they had just seen. Then, one by one, they all burst into outrageous laughter.
All except for Vegeta, who sat unmoving in his chair, jaw agape.
