Chapter Two:
- yeah keep going
(Opening Music- "Graduate", Third Eye Blind)
(Cut to Lawndale. There are kids running through the hallways towards a large crowd.
Daria is by her locker, looks at the huge horde, raises an eyebrow in suspicion. She walks
over to the large group, standing around a table)
Daria: Oh joy. Yearbook time. (Daria goes to front of line. A girl hands her a yearbook.
It's thick and black with metallic blue engraved writing on it saying "Lawndale High
School" in gold, beneath it, it says 2001.)
(She opens it, walks away from crowd and thumbs through it)
(Jane walks up to her from opposite direction, reading it as well.)
Jane: (stops) Can you believe it? Twenty six pages dedicated to the athletic department
and only a one page insert on arts. It makes me sick!
Daria: Welcome to the priorities of the real world.
Jane: (closes book.) Hey Daria. So, do you want to… sign mine or anything? I hear its
some sort of strange custom.
Daria: Oh sure. (The book is handed to her. She opens it.) There's no signatures here.
Jane: You're the first! Don't you feel proud
Daria: No, not really.
Jane: Oh just sign it anyway. (gives her a pen.)
(After some time, Daria hands the book back to her. In rather messy handwriting, Jane
reads her message.)
Dear Jane,
Hello. It's me, Daria. I'm standing next to you, you're standing next to me.
Wanna sign my yearbook? And thanks for lending me your pen. What a noble gesture.
- Daria.
Jane: The sentiment is heart warming. (points to eye) Tear.
Daria: Think you could do better?
Jane: I'll give it a shot. (takes her year book.)
(Jane writes in it for a couple seconds, hands it back to her.)
(It reads:)
Dear Daria:
Blood is red, bile is blue. I suck at writing and so do you.
Love, Jane.
Daria: Ok.
Jane: Well?
Daria: Bile isn't blue.
Jane: No, see? See? I signed it love.
Daria: So much said in a single, four letter word. I can think of a few others while I'm at
it.
Jane: I will hear no foul language from you today, Miss Morgendorffer.
(Cut to Kevin and Brittany, standing in the hallway also)
Kevin: I bet you can't wait to read what I said, babe!
Brittany: Ooh!! Lemme see!!
Kevin: Here! (holds out the book)
Brittany: (claps her hands) Oooh! (grabs it)
(Cut into the yearbook. In childish handwriting it says:
Babe- Have a good summer. ?. )
Brittany: (looking angry) 'Have a good summer' and a smiley face!? Oo Kevin!
Kevin: What?
Brittany: It's our last yearbook together! When I show this yearbook to my grandchildren
I want them to see just how close we were!
Kevin: Oh. I can do that. (takes the yearbook, writes, and hands it back to her.)
(Brittany looks at it. Cut into the Year book. It now reads:
Dear Babe- Have a good summer. ? XOXOXO
- Kevin ))
Brittany: Oh you'll never learn!
(Cut to Upchuck, standing outside a classroom, holding out an empty yearbook and a
marker)
Upchuck: Step right up, don't be shy! Any of you ladies interesting in leaving a John
Hancock and maybe…some phone numbers, the table-is-open!
(The FC saunters past, year books in tow. Upchuck offers his yearbook to them)
Tiffany: Eww…
Sandi: (smirking) Why, hello Charles. I'd be happy to sign your yearbook for you.
Stacey and Quinn: Sandi, no!
Sandi: Please, ladies. Can't I sign a fellow schoolmates's yearbook if I so please?
(She takes the pen, and writes something quick, then moves away with her posse.)
Upchuck: (grinning) And what has the lovely lady graced my pages with? A poem? A
romantic ballad? (reads what she wrote, unseen by camera) WHAT! (looks scared,
worried, then suddenly slips into an evil grin) Oh, a dirty mind I like that kinda spunk in
m'lady! Grr!
(Cut back to the FC)
Stacey: Hey! I haven't seen our picture yet!
Quinn: Oh! Find it Sandi!
Sandi: Please, Quinn. Patience is a virtue.(opens book, and skims through the pages. She
stops, and holds book up to everyone.)
Stacey: (Gasps) I'm blinking! Oh my gosh, they got me blinking! (puts hands on face in
disbelief)
Quinn: Oh no! It's awful!
Sandi: What? This is an outrage! (fumes)
(Cut to Jane, Daria, Jodie and Mack further down the hall)
Jodie: Here's your yearbook, Daria.
Daria: Thanks.
Jodie: No problem. After all, what are a few bland, unconsciously written lines as long as
it will help you recall a dim memory of me in twenty years time.
Jane: That's the spirit!
Mack: (hands Jane a yearbook) There you go, Jane. I hope my lack of words doesn't
disappoint you.
Jane: Not at all. I'm sure it's much longer than what I managed to milk out of Daria.
Daria: Nice analogy, but you should have seen the sentimental sucker she planted in my
book.
Jane: Oh there will be plenty of time for emotions later. Right now my mind has a basket
of chili cheese fries in its undivided attention. Pizza King, anyone?
Jodie: No thanks. I think I had some bad meat-like desert after lunch. I can't think of food
right now. (clutches stomach)
Mack: (looks uncomfortable) Uh-oh I think the wave of nausea has hit me. Damn roast
beef brownies. Why aren't you guys sick?
Daria: Sorry, but I like my desert like I like my men; Dark, rich, and lard-free.
Jane: So in other words, we didn't indulge in the meaty goodness.
Mack: Thanks for the invitation…but I have to…(covers mouth) Oh god! (runs off
screen)
Jodie: Yeah, bye Daria…Jane (runs off)
Daria: Old beef, reverse peristalsis, and you.
Jane: (points off screen) Hey what's going on?
Daria: What? (turns and looks towards where Jane is pointing)
(Cut to their POV. There is the table were the yearbooks are being handed out. There is a
massive crowd around it, only there has been a large clearing. Sandi is confronting a
meek guy who is sitting at the table. A large stack of yearbooks is sitting on the table.)
Sandi: I demand a reprint!
Guy: What!?
Sandi: You heard me! I am not satisfied with this publication!
Guy: Listen, I don't know what you're talking about…
Sandi: There is a certain image on page 43 which has obviously been put in by mistake,
or lack of intelligence I would imagine!
Guy: Look, I'm just handing these out.
Sandi: (grabs him by the shirt collar, pulls him towards her face) Well, then may I
suggest that you do no further handing out until this mistake has been corrected?
Guy: (cowers) Eep.
(Cut to Morgendorffer Kitchen)
( Quinn and Jake are sitting at the table, while Daria is rummaging through the fridge and
Helen is seen far off in the corner of the screen on her cell phone)
Quinn: ….So then the guy says (imitating stupid male voice) 'Hey… It's not my fault!
Let go of me'. And then Sandi says (imitating Sandi's voice) 'Like, what are you going to
do about it'. And then the principal came over and Sandi hit the guy and she was
suspended for the day! It was awful and so embarrassing for us. I mean, something had to
be done, the picture was just so hideous!!
Jake: I remember my yearbook picture. It was during my ugly stage- braces, acne you
name it! My old man saw it and said it made me look like a leper!! And do you think he
liked having a leper as a son?? Nooo siree-bob! He said that now did he not only have to
deal with having a pansy for a son but now a leper pansy!!! Well look who's the leper
pansy now, old man, just you look!! Argh!!
Daria: (pause) Look. Mom made her pot brownies again.
Helen: (puts hand over receiver of cell phone) Daria!
Daria: No, wait. My mistake. It's the opium meatloaf.
Jake: (still reflecting on his dad) I just hope your maggot-fed carcass is being chewed on
by dogs!
Quinn: EW Daaad puh-leez!! I was talking.
Jake: Why! Why? (covers head and starts crying.)
Daria: (sits down at table) Don't listen to him, Quinn. He's in his happy place. You
know, I'm sure that toaster oven over there would love to listen to your rants.
Quinn: What?
Daria: At least you could finally have a conversation with something of an equal mental
capacity.
Quinn: Ugh, why is my family so weird!!? (leaves table, exits room)
(Daria shrugs, and takes a sip of some soda. Jake stops wailing, whimpers, and looks up
at her)
Jake: You said your mother had made brownies?
(Daria rolls her eyes)
(Phone rings, Daria gets up and picks up.)
Daria: Hello. You have reached the offices of hell. The dark prince is out on a date, but I
may take a message for him.
Jane: (VO) Tell him he's a sick bastard for cheating on me.
Daria: (slight smirk) Will do. Anything else?
Jane: Yeah…Hey there, secretary.
Daria: Likewise.
Jane: Rough day, I take it?
Daria: Oh the usual…woke up again this morning.
Jane: I hate it when that happens.
Daria: So..what's the news? Does it start with a C- and end with 'ollege'?
Jane: Hardly. I was just wondering if you wanted to come over..you know, help me study
for finals?
Daria: Okay. What's the catch?
Jane: No catch, just a chance to spend some quality time doing calculus equations?
Daria: (slightly agitated) Mmm…
(Cut to Outside Lane house)
(Shot of Daria walking up the path to the front door. She's carrying a calculus book under
her arm. She stops.)
(Cut closer, Daria ringing doorbell. After a few moments, Trent opens the door)
Trent: Hey Daria. Janey's in her room.
Daria: Hey Trent. Thanks.
(Trent looks at Daria's book.)
Trent: Ew…math. (shudders)
Daria: You're the Lawndale survivor. Want to relocate the numerical side of your brain
and help us study for the final?
Trent: You mean, they taught it at Lawndale?
Daria: Yes…
Trent: Oh. I don't think I ever showed up for that class.
(Cut to outside Jane's room. Daria opens the door.)
(Inside Jane's room. Daria drops her mouth open. Jane is standing near her bed, dressed
in a black formal dress. There are two dresses on hangers on the doors of the open closet,
and about 4 more lying on the bed.)
Daria: (surprise/anger) Oh no…
Jane: (turns around, looks at Daria.) Oh come on Daria! Please!?
Daria: Ok, now I wish we were doing calculus.
Jane: (has a worried look on her face) Well, sorry.
Daria: Listen, I think it's all good and peachy that you're trying to be a conformist and
everything, but I have schoolwork to do.
Jane: (narrows eyes) Hey, can't you just help me pick out a lousy dress?
Daria: Ok. ( points at the dresses) Eenie, meenie, minie…
Jane: (sighs) Why does this have to be such a big deal?
Daria: I dunno. You're the one turning this into some giant ordeal.
Jane: Well, I did try to drag Trent into this but he got hypnotized by the shiny blue
taffeta. I knew you wouldn't want to participate, but.. (hesitates) you were a last resort.
Daria: (sits on bed, clearly upset) Alright, I'll stomach that excuse.
(Cut to several minutes later. Jane emerges from the closet and stands in front of a full
length mirror inside her closet door. She is wearing a dark green, form-fitting dress.)
Jane: How's this one?
Daria: Gee, isn't that the dress you wore to the debutant ball?
Jane: (turns, puts hands on hips and glares at Daria) Funny, Daria, funny.
Daria: It's fine.
Jane: That's what you said about the last 3 dresses.
Daria: Yes, and obviously you still haven't picked up the hint that I don't care.
Jane: (sighs) Well this isn't going anywhere. I think you should leave.
Daria: I thought you'd never let me. (gets up, grabs her calculus book)
Jane: I just hope you find the time to pull that corkscrew out of your ass before we
graduate.
Daria: (narrows eyes) (coldly) Goodbye Jane. (exits, slamming door)
Jane: (scowls) Bye Daria. (She suddenly starts looking regretful, as if she had said
something wrong)
(Cut to school, the next day. The school is in the middle of finals, students are all
sitting/laying in the halls studying or sleeping. A lot of the kids are in sweats or pajama
pants.)
(Shot of a small group, sitting in front of their lockers. A few of them are reading text
books. Others are signing each others yearbooks. Suddenly, a hand comes down and
grabs two yearbooks out of the students hands)
Guy: Hey!
Girl: Hey!
(shot up, we see the hand belongs to Quinn. She is in her usual attire. She takes the
yearbooks, opens them up, thumbs through it and tears out a page.)
Quinn: Sorry, but I need to make some alterations to these. (She takes the two pages she
has torn out, puts them under her arm, and hands the books back to the students.)
Thanks!!
Guy: What the…?
(Quinn walks towards Sandi, who is dumping a pile of torn out pages into a trash can.
Stacy and Tiffany soon join, dumping more papers into the trash.)
Sandi : I managed to retrieve, a commendable twenty-three pages.
Quinn: I got seventeen.
Stacy: Twelve
Tiffany: Eleven…
Sandi: Hmm…not bad. When we add this to our previous total (she takes out a sheet of
paper…thinks for a moment)… Ladies! We are short at least 5 dozen yearbooks!
Quinn: Oh no!
Sandi: (agitated) Ladies, we need to pick up the pace! I will not rest until we have ridden
each and every yearbook of our flawed photo.
Stacy: We wouldn't want that to be the way everyone remembers us! (panics) Oh no, we
have to get those other yearbooks!
Sandi: Calm down Stacy. We have plenty of time.
Quinn: (nervously) Um…Sandi, we only have 1 day left before it's summer.
Sandi: What?
Stacy: Oh no! We're ruined! (clasps hands on face)
(Cut to students exiting a classroom from a final. Jane walks out, wearing gray sweats,
toting a backpack. Kevin walks out of classroom from behind her He's in his usual outfit,
holding a pencil in one hand and a notebook in the other.)
Kevin: Ow! My head hurts! (clutches head)
(Cut to Jane, who heads to her locker. She looks wiped out, a little pissed off. She turns
her head and looks down the hall)
(Cut to Jane's POV- She singles out Daria walking towards her down the hall.)
(Back to Jane, she looks even angrier, she quickly leaves the scene)
Daria: Jane? Hey, Jane!
(Jane does not reply, and is gone. Daria looks worried.)
(Cut to later that day, outside Lane house. Daria walks up and rings doorbell gingerly.)
(a few moments later, the door opens.)
Trent: Oh, hi Daria.
Daria: (looks a little wide-eyed. She stares at Trent.) Um, Trent…where are your clothes?
Trent: Huh? (he looks down at himself. The camera zooms out, showing he is wearing a
pair of white and red striped boxers, a pair of socks, and nothing else.) Oops. Sorry Daria.
I knew something felt different today. I guess I just thought the house was draftier than
usual.
Daria: (smirks) Right. (reverts her glance)
Trent: (He goes off screen, exiting room) (VO) Want something to drink?
Daria: Uh…no thanks. I just came here to talk to Jane. She seemed sort of weird today.
Trent: (comes back on screen, this time wearing pants) Oh yeah, I think she's kinda upset
about something, she was talking about some fight.
Daria: Yeah…that was, um, sort of my fault. Is she around so that I can apologize for my
lack of sympathy?
Trent: She's taking a nap right now. Finals are wearing her out. Wearing me out too.
Daria: You're not even taking them.
Trent: I know, but watching people study always makes me tired.
(Daria stops the hopeless conversation, and her eyes meet the coffee table in the living
room. There is an open envelope sitting on the table, along with several brochures. The
envelope has the return address from 'BERKLEY, CA')
Daria: What's that? (she walks over and picks up the envelope.)
Trent: I don't know, it came today.
(Daria opens it and takes out a letter, reading it to herself.)
Daria : (reading aloud) Congratulations...You have been accepted into Berkley
University's prestigious Arts program… ( she trails off, looking a bit sad) California…
Trent: Whoa… California isn't near here.
Daria: (Puts envelope down) I think I should go. I'll see you later Trent.
(She exits, Trent stands there silently)
- yeah keep going
(Opening Music- "Graduate", Third Eye Blind)
(Cut to Lawndale. There are kids running through the hallways towards a large crowd.
Daria is by her locker, looks at the huge horde, raises an eyebrow in suspicion. She walks
over to the large group, standing around a table)
Daria: Oh joy. Yearbook time. (Daria goes to front of line. A girl hands her a yearbook.
It's thick and black with metallic blue engraved writing on it saying "Lawndale High
School" in gold, beneath it, it says 2001.)
(She opens it, walks away from crowd and thumbs through it)
(Jane walks up to her from opposite direction, reading it as well.)
Jane: (stops) Can you believe it? Twenty six pages dedicated to the athletic department
and only a one page insert on arts. It makes me sick!
Daria: Welcome to the priorities of the real world.
Jane: (closes book.) Hey Daria. So, do you want to… sign mine or anything? I hear its
some sort of strange custom.
Daria: Oh sure. (The book is handed to her. She opens it.) There's no signatures here.
Jane: You're the first! Don't you feel proud
Daria: No, not really.
Jane: Oh just sign it anyway. (gives her a pen.)
(After some time, Daria hands the book back to her. In rather messy handwriting, Jane
reads her message.)
Dear Jane,
Hello. It's me, Daria. I'm standing next to you, you're standing next to me.
Wanna sign my yearbook? And thanks for lending me your pen. What a noble gesture.
- Daria.
Jane: The sentiment is heart warming. (points to eye) Tear.
Daria: Think you could do better?
Jane: I'll give it a shot. (takes her year book.)
(Jane writes in it for a couple seconds, hands it back to her.)
(It reads:)
Dear Daria:
Blood is red, bile is blue. I suck at writing and so do you.
Love, Jane.
Daria: Ok.
Jane: Well?
Daria: Bile isn't blue.
Jane: No, see? See? I signed it love.
Daria: So much said in a single, four letter word. I can think of a few others while I'm at
it.
Jane: I will hear no foul language from you today, Miss Morgendorffer.
(Cut to Kevin and Brittany, standing in the hallway also)
Kevin: I bet you can't wait to read what I said, babe!
Brittany: Ooh!! Lemme see!!
Kevin: Here! (holds out the book)
Brittany: (claps her hands) Oooh! (grabs it)
(Cut into the yearbook. In childish handwriting it says:
Babe- Have a good summer. ?. )
Brittany: (looking angry) 'Have a good summer' and a smiley face!? Oo Kevin!
Kevin: What?
Brittany: It's our last yearbook together! When I show this yearbook to my grandchildren
I want them to see just how close we were!
Kevin: Oh. I can do that. (takes the yearbook, writes, and hands it back to her.)
(Brittany looks at it. Cut into the Year book. It now reads:
Dear Babe- Have a good summer. ? XOXOXO
- Kevin ))
Brittany: Oh you'll never learn!
(Cut to Upchuck, standing outside a classroom, holding out an empty yearbook and a
marker)
Upchuck: Step right up, don't be shy! Any of you ladies interesting in leaving a John
Hancock and maybe…some phone numbers, the table-is-open!
(The FC saunters past, year books in tow. Upchuck offers his yearbook to them)
Tiffany: Eww…
Sandi: (smirking) Why, hello Charles. I'd be happy to sign your yearbook for you.
Stacey and Quinn: Sandi, no!
Sandi: Please, ladies. Can't I sign a fellow schoolmates's yearbook if I so please?
(She takes the pen, and writes something quick, then moves away with her posse.)
Upchuck: (grinning) And what has the lovely lady graced my pages with? A poem? A
romantic ballad? (reads what she wrote, unseen by camera) WHAT! (looks scared,
worried, then suddenly slips into an evil grin) Oh, a dirty mind I like that kinda spunk in
m'lady! Grr!
(Cut back to the FC)
Stacey: Hey! I haven't seen our picture yet!
Quinn: Oh! Find it Sandi!
Sandi: Please, Quinn. Patience is a virtue.(opens book, and skims through the pages. She
stops, and holds book up to everyone.)
Stacey: (Gasps) I'm blinking! Oh my gosh, they got me blinking! (puts hands on face in
disbelief)
Quinn: Oh no! It's awful!
Sandi: What? This is an outrage! (fumes)
(Cut to Jane, Daria, Jodie and Mack further down the hall)
Jodie: Here's your yearbook, Daria.
Daria: Thanks.
Jodie: No problem. After all, what are a few bland, unconsciously written lines as long as
it will help you recall a dim memory of me in twenty years time.
Jane: That's the spirit!
Mack: (hands Jane a yearbook) There you go, Jane. I hope my lack of words doesn't
disappoint you.
Jane: Not at all. I'm sure it's much longer than what I managed to milk out of Daria.
Daria: Nice analogy, but you should have seen the sentimental sucker she planted in my
book.
Jane: Oh there will be plenty of time for emotions later. Right now my mind has a basket
of chili cheese fries in its undivided attention. Pizza King, anyone?
Jodie: No thanks. I think I had some bad meat-like desert after lunch. I can't think of food
right now. (clutches stomach)
Mack: (looks uncomfortable) Uh-oh I think the wave of nausea has hit me. Damn roast
beef brownies. Why aren't you guys sick?
Daria: Sorry, but I like my desert like I like my men; Dark, rich, and lard-free.
Jane: So in other words, we didn't indulge in the meaty goodness.
Mack: Thanks for the invitation…but I have to…(covers mouth) Oh god! (runs off
screen)
Jodie: Yeah, bye Daria…Jane (runs off)
Daria: Old beef, reverse peristalsis, and you.
Jane: (points off screen) Hey what's going on?
Daria: What? (turns and looks towards where Jane is pointing)
(Cut to their POV. There is the table were the yearbooks are being handed out. There is a
massive crowd around it, only there has been a large clearing. Sandi is confronting a
meek guy who is sitting at the table. A large stack of yearbooks is sitting on the table.)
Sandi: I demand a reprint!
Guy: What!?
Sandi: You heard me! I am not satisfied with this publication!
Guy: Listen, I don't know what you're talking about…
Sandi: There is a certain image on page 43 which has obviously been put in by mistake,
or lack of intelligence I would imagine!
Guy: Look, I'm just handing these out.
Sandi: (grabs him by the shirt collar, pulls him towards her face) Well, then may I
suggest that you do no further handing out until this mistake has been corrected?
Guy: (cowers) Eep.
(Cut to Morgendorffer Kitchen)
( Quinn and Jake are sitting at the table, while Daria is rummaging through the fridge and
Helen is seen far off in the corner of the screen on her cell phone)
Quinn: ….So then the guy says (imitating stupid male voice) 'Hey… It's not my fault!
Let go of me'. And then Sandi says (imitating Sandi's voice) 'Like, what are you going to
do about it'. And then the principal came over and Sandi hit the guy and she was
suspended for the day! It was awful and so embarrassing for us. I mean, something had to
be done, the picture was just so hideous!!
Jake: I remember my yearbook picture. It was during my ugly stage- braces, acne you
name it! My old man saw it and said it made me look like a leper!! And do you think he
liked having a leper as a son?? Nooo siree-bob! He said that now did he not only have to
deal with having a pansy for a son but now a leper pansy!!! Well look who's the leper
pansy now, old man, just you look!! Argh!!
Daria: (pause) Look. Mom made her pot brownies again.
Helen: (puts hand over receiver of cell phone) Daria!
Daria: No, wait. My mistake. It's the opium meatloaf.
Jake: (still reflecting on his dad) I just hope your maggot-fed carcass is being chewed on
by dogs!
Quinn: EW Daaad puh-leez!! I was talking.
Jake: Why! Why? (covers head and starts crying.)
Daria: (sits down at table) Don't listen to him, Quinn. He's in his happy place. You
know, I'm sure that toaster oven over there would love to listen to your rants.
Quinn: What?
Daria: At least you could finally have a conversation with something of an equal mental
capacity.
Quinn: Ugh, why is my family so weird!!? (leaves table, exits room)
(Daria shrugs, and takes a sip of some soda. Jake stops wailing, whimpers, and looks up
at her)
Jake: You said your mother had made brownies?
(Daria rolls her eyes)
(Phone rings, Daria gets up and picks up.)
Daria: Hello. You have reached the offices of hell. The dark prince is out on a date, but I
may take a message for him.
Jane: (VO) Tell him he's a sick bastard for cheating on me.
Daria: (slight smirk) Will do. Anything else?
Jane: Yeah…Hey there, secretary.
Daria: Likewise.
Jane: Rough day, I take it?
Daria: Oh the usual…woke up again this morning.
Jane: I hate it when that happens.
Daria: So..what's the news? Does it start with a C- and end with 'ollege'?
Jane: Hardly. I was just wondering if you wanted to come over..you know, help me study
for finals?
Daria: Okay. What's the catch?
Jane: No catch, just a chance to spend some quality time doing calculus equations?
Daria: (slightly agitated) Mmm…
(Cut to Outside Lane house)
(Shot of Daria walking up the path to the front door. She's carrying a calculus book under
her arm. She stops.)
(Cut closer, Daria ringing doorbell. After a few moments, Trent opens the door)
Trent: Hey Daria. Janey's in her room.
Daria: Hey Trent. Thanks.
(Trent looks at Daria's book.)
Trent: Ew…math. (shudders)
Daria: You're the Lawndale survivor. Want to relocate the numerical side of your brain
and help us study for the final?
Trent: You mean, they taught it at Lawndale?
Daria: Yes…
Trent: Oh. I don't think I ever showed up for that class.
(Cut to outside Jane's room. Daria opens the door.)
(Inside Jane's room. Daria drops her mouth open. Jane is standing near her bed, dressed
in a black formal dress. There are two dresses on hangers on the doors of the open closet,
and about 4 more lying on the bed.)
Daria: (surprise/anger) Oh no…
Jane: (turns around, looks at Daria.) Oh come on Daria! Please!?
Daria: Ok, now I wish we were doing calculus.
Jane: (has a worried look on her face) Well, sorry.
Daria: Listen, I think it's all good and peachy that you're trying to be a conformist and
everything, but I have schoolwork to do.
Jane: (narrows eyes) Hey, can't you just help me pick out a lousy dress?
Daria: Ok. ( points at the dresses) Eenie, meenie, minie…
Jane: (sighs) Why does this have to be such a big deal?
Daria: I dunno. You're the one turning this into some giant ordeal.
Jane: Well, I did try to drag Trent into this but he got hypnotized by the shiny blue
taffeta. I knew you wouldn't want to participate, but.. (hesitates) you were a last resort.
Daria: (sits on bed, clearly upset) Alright, I'll stomach that excuse.
(Cut to several minutes later. Jane emerges from the closet and stands in front of a full
length mirror inside her closet door. She is wearing a dark green, form-fitting dress.)
Jane: How's this one?
Daria: Gee, isn't that the dress you wore to the debutant ball?
Jane: (turns, puts hands on hips and glares at Daria) Funny, Daria, funny.
Daria: It's fine.
Jane: That's what you said about the last 3 dresses.
Daria: Yes, and obviously you still haven't picked up the hint that I don't care.
Jane: (sighs) Well this isn't going anywhere. I think you should leave.
Daria: I thought you'd never let me. (gets up, grabs her calculus book)
Jane: I just hope you find the time to pull that corkscrew out of your ass before we
graduate.
Daria: (narrows eyes) (coldly) Goodbye Jane. (exits, slamming door)
Jane: (scowls) Bye Daria. (She suddenly starts looking regretful, as if she had said
something wrong)
(Cut to school, the next day. The school is in the middle of finals, students are all
sitting/laying in the halls studying or sleeping. A lot of the kids are in sweats or pajama
pants.)
(Shot of a small group, sitting in front of their lockers. A few of them are reading text
books. Others are signing each others yearbooks. Suddenly, a hand comes down and
grabs two yearbooks out of the students hands)
Guy: Hey!
Girl: Hey!
(shot up, we see the hand belongs to Quinn. She is in her usual attire. She takes the
yearbooks, opens them up, thumbs through it and tears out a page.)
Quinn: Sorry, but I need to make some alterations to these. (She takes the two pages she
has torn out, puts them under her arm, and hands the books back to the students.)
Thanks!!
Guy: What the…?
(Quinn walks towards Sandi, who is dumping a pile of torn out pages into a trash can.
Stacy and Tiffany soon join, dumping more papers into the trash.)
Sandi : I managed to retrieve, a commendable twenty-three pages.
Quinn: I got seventeen.
Stacy: Twelve
Tiffany: Eleven…
Sandi: Hmm…not bad. When we add this to our previous total (she takes out a sheet of
paper…thinks for a moment)… Ladies! We are short at least 5 dozen yearbooks!
Quinn: Oh no!
Sandi: (agitated) Ladies, we need to pick up the pace! I will not rest until we have ridden
each and every yearbook of our flawed photo.
Stacy: We wouldn't want that to be the way everyone remembers us! (panics) Oh no, we
have to get those other yearbooks!
Sandi: Calm down Stacy. We have plenty of time.
Quinn: (nervously) Um…Sandi, we only have 1 day left before it's summer.
Sandi: What?
Stacy: Oh no! We're ruined! (clasps hands on face)
(Cut to students exiting a classroom from a final. Jane walks out, wearing gray sweats,
toting a backpack. Kevin walks out of classroom from behind her He's in his usual outfit,
holding a pencil in one hand and a notebook in the other.)
Kevin: Ow! My head hurts! (clutches head)
(Cut to Jane, who heads to her locker. She looks wiped out, a little pissed off. She turns
her head and looks down the hall)
(Cut to Jane's POV- She singles out Daria walking towards her down the hall.)
(Back to Jane, she looks even angrier, she quickly leaves the scene)
Daria: Jane? Hey, Jane!
(Jane does not reply, and is gone. Daria looks worried.)
(Cut to later that day, outside Lane house. Daria walks up and rings doorbell gingerly.)
(a few moments later, the door opens.)
Trent: Oh, hi Daria.
Daria: (looks a little wide-eyed. She stares at Trent.) Um, Trent…where are your clothes?
Trent: Huh? (he looks down at himself. The camera zooms out, showing he is wearing a
pair of white and red striped boxers, a pair of socks, and nothing else.) Oops. Sorry Daria.
I knew something felt different today. I guess I just thought the house was draftier than
usual.
Daria: (smirks) Right. (reverts her glance)
Trent: (He goes off screen, exiting room) (VO) Want something to drink?
Daria: Uh…no thanks. I just came here to talk to Jane. She seemed sort of weird today.
Trent: (comes back on screen, this time wearing pants) Oh yeah, I think she's kinda upset
about something, she was talking about some fight.
Daria: Yeah…that was, um, sort of my fault. Is she around so that I can apologize for my
lack of sympathy?
Trent: She's taking a nap right now. Finals are wearing her out. Wearing me out too.
Daria: You're not even taking them.
Trent: I know, but watching people study always makes me tired.
(Daria stops the hopeless conversation, and her eyes meet the coffee table in the living
room. There is an open envelope sitting on the table, along with several brochures. The
envelope has the return address from 'BERKLEY, CA')
Daria: What's that? (she walks over and picks up the envelope.)
Trent: I don't know, it came today.
(Daria opens it and takes out a letter, reading it to herself.)
Daria : (reading aloud) Congratulations...You have been accepted into Berkley
University's prestigious Arts program… ( she trails off, looking a bit sad) California…
Trent: Whoa… California isn't near here.
Daria: (Puts envelope down) I think I should go. I'll see you later Trent.
(She exits, Trent stands there silently)
