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~the camping story of doom~

By Miyako Inoue, Queen of Cheese

Author's Note: Hey again, y'all! It's ROUNDUP TAIIIIIME!!! GIDDYAP!!! Sorry about that. It's the lack of sugar. This is the not-so-long-awaited PART TWO!

Song thingy of the moment (Don't Feed the Plants, from Little Shop of Horrors):

Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed,

Unsuspecting jerks from Maine to California

Made the accquaintance of a new breed of flytrap,

And got sweettalked into feeding it blood,

Thus the plants worked their terrible will,

Finding jerks who would feed them their fill,

And the plants proceeded to grow, and grow,

And begin what they came here to do,

Which was essentially to…

Eat Cleveland

And Des Moines

And Peoria

And New York

And where you live!

::insert weird sound being cut over noises that you hear when they… uuuhh… cut over a song:: And if ya wanna hear more, ya gotta buy the soundtrack. OR use Napster. But if you want to experience the true beauty of this truly beautiful musical, buy the soundtrack. The Broadway version. It has so many more beautiful songs, and… um… they all sing so much better than the movie! Seriously… Not to say that I don't truly admire Rick Moranis's singing talents (haaaaack), but… yeah. And anyway, buy the movie. It's so beautiful… ::sniff:: And no, they really aren't giving me anything to advertise spontaneously for them. But now, the story.

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Previously, on The Camping Story of Doom…

The bus was coming! Yes! The bus! To the summer camp! Knives was terrified of wild animals, and Midvalley shamelessly flirted with Legato, much to the sadist's dismay. BDN drooled on Meryl's shoulder, and Wolfwood got smacked a bit for trying to sleep on Milly. That about sums it up… Now, join us for the second episode of…

The CAmping Story of DOOM!!!

About two hours after the trip had begun, the bus pulled into a happy place, at which point the twins ran out of the bus and to the nearest bush to empty the contents of their stomachs- which mostly consisted of half-digested Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

The birds were singing, the grass was green, and the trees were… well, the trees were engaging in very treelike behavior, and Nicholas was currently bleeding from the nose. There was a very good reason for this, let me tell you.

See, Milly isn't the type that you want to spook when she's sleeping. It's just not a very safe thing to do. Unfortunately for Nick, he found that out the hard way.

~Flashback~

Nicholas stared at the sleeping Milly. And stared. And stared. And stared. And then he stared some more. And just when he was about to go into another hearty round of staring, when suddenly…

BUMP BUMP THUD!

The bus went over a speedbump.

"AAH!" yelled Milly, startled awake.

"AAH!" yelled Nicholas, startled by her sudden high-pitched screaming.

"AAH!" yelled Milly, mostly because of Nick's yelling, but partly because he'd been staring at her.

"AAH!" yelled Nicholas, reeling in pain because of the sudden burst of pain in his nose.

He had just discovered Milly's natural reflexes.

~End Flashback~

Nick walked out of the bus, tilting his head back and pinching his nose, closely followed by a very concerned Milly.

"I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to… you startled me, that's all. Are you sure you're okay?"

He looked over at her through half-closed eyes. "Do, really, id's oggay, dode bedshid id…"

Milly was confused. "What?"

"I said… Id's ogay, dode benshin id!"

Milly stared at him blankly. "I… don't speak Tagalog…"

Nicholas sighed. "Id's dod Dagalog, id's… dever bide…"

Meanwhile, still on the bus, Rai-Dei and Chapel were trying to remove Meryl from underneath BDN's still sleeping self. It wasn't going too well.

About twenty minutes later, most of the kids were lined up (well, as lined up as chibis who've been cooped up in a bus for 2 hours can be) in front of the main building, where the cabin arrangements were posted.

It also happened to be where a short, obese, androgenous truck driver sort of person was speaking into a loudspeaker while standing on a podium.

And talking, too. "When I give the signal," he/she/it held up a whistle on a string around it's neck, "you have permission to come and look at these sheets, which contain your bunking partners! For the reason that there is a sad lack of girls," here the creature looked harshly at Milly, Meryl, and Dominique, "we have decided to mix it up! So, some of you guys might be sharing a cabin with one of them."

Vash grinned at Knives, who rolled his eyes and looked away. Wolfwood's nosebleed seemed to worsen, interestingly enough.

After the androgenous camp counselor had finished pausing, it continued. "Now, since you will be in the prescence of ladies, I expect you to be on your best behavior. On another note, I want to tell you all how this camp works. You will report to mess hall when the bell rings, three times a day."

"Mess hall?" Vash whispered to Knives. "What is that guy, an ex-drill instructor?"

"I think it's a girl," Knives replied.

The thing kept talking. "At 8 in the morning, I expect you to be out of bed and ready for breakfast! And every night at 8, the bell will sound for lights-out. Furthermore, after you've reported to your cabins, you will be expected to report back to this spot at the next bell. At that point, you will sign up for the events you will be participating in! Are there any questions?"

Everyone shifted and looked at each other uneasily. Then, Vash raised his hand, bouncing up and down and grinning wildly.

"YES! You, hoppy boy over there!"

"Well, I was just wondering if… um… ARE YOU A MAN OR A WOMAN?!"

There was a dead silence. Vash grinned. The counselor glared.

Knives looked around, and quickly grabbed his brother, putting a hand over Vash's mouth. "Don't mind him, please, he knows not what he does, and he has a tendency to speak without thinking, and he has ADD, and-"

The counselor smiled sweetly, and disturbingly.

"It's okay, there'll be no more questions. Now, each of you will have your own cabin buddy! You and your buddy will be in the same activities, sit with each other at lunch, and basically do everything with you. Ever heard of the BUDDY SYSTEM? YEAH! That's what it is. There will also be a counselor for each separate cabin, who sill make sure you stay in line, and go to bed at the appropriate time. However, they will not be sleeping in the same cabin with you."

A sigh of relief was heard from all the kids, except for Milly, who wouldn't think of anything bad to do anyway, and BDN, who was too busy staring at the pretty colors everywhere to be listening well.

"FURTHERMORE! We will be doing physical activities every Friday. Rafting, hiking, and everything else you can think of!"

There was more silence, then the counselor blew the whistle. Everyone scrambled towards the paper posted on the side of the main building.

BDN got there first, and blocked the way for everyone else. He stood there for a minute, then headed off towards the cabins, dragging his bright pink duffel bag behind him.

Everyone crowded around. Meryl, in the front, called out, "Who's Midvalley?"

The small boy clutching a toy saxophone stepped forward. "Who else is there? LEGATO?" he said, in a frantic begging tone. Legato cringed in the crowd.

Meryl shook her head. "Hoppered… and that's it. We have three."

A high-pitched cracking "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" echoed through the crowd.

Nicholas stepped up, closing his eyes and crossing his fingers. "Pleeeeeeease…" He slowly opened one eye. "YES!" He skipped over to Milly, who stared at him quizzically. "We're in the same cabin!"

"Oh… wow…"

"Yeah, I know!" he said, grinning. "And there's some other people I don't know. Rai-Dei and BDN."

Legato walked over to the list calmly, glanced at it, and said evenly, "Knives, Grey, and Leonof, please gather here."

The rest of the sorting went uneventfully. Vash, EG Mine, Dominique, and Caine were all in the same cabin. Zazie, Kaite, Monev, and Chapel also were put together. The kids headed off towards their respective cabins, speculating about what would come next.

~End Part Two~

Soooooo… What did ya think? It's kinda boring, but the next chapter'll be better, I promise!