~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~the camping story of
doom~
By Miyako Inoue,
Queen of Cheese
Author's Note: Hey again, y'all! It's ROUNDUP TAIIIIIME!!! GIDDYAP!!! Sorry about that. It's the lack of sugar. This is the not-so-long-awaited PART TWO!
Song thingy of the
moment (Don't Feed the Plants, from Little Shop of Horrors):
Subsequent to the
events you have just witnessed,
Unsuspecting jerks
from Maine to California
Made the
accquaintance of a new breed of flytrap,
And got sweettalked
into feeding it blood,
Thus the plants
worked their terrible will,
Finding jerks who
would feed them their fill,
And the plants
proceeded to grow, and grow,
And begin what they
came here to do,
Which was essentially
to…
Eat Cleveland
And Des Moines
And Peoria
And New York
And where you live!
::insert weird sound
being cut over noises that you hear when they… uuuhh… cut over a song:: And if ya wanna hear more, ya gotta buy the
soundtrack. OR use Napster. But if you want to experience the true
beauty of this truly beautiful musical, buy the soundtrack. The Broadway version. It has so many more beautiful songs, and…
um… they all sing so much better than the movie! Seriously… Not to say that I don't truly admire Rick Moranis's
singing talents (haaaaack), but… yeah. And anyway, buy the movie. It's
so beautiful… ::sniff:: And no, they
really aren't giving me anything to advertise spontaneously for them. But now, the story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Previously, on The
Camping Story of Doom…
The bus was coming! Yes! The bus! To the summer
camp! Knives was terrified of wild
animals, and Midvalley shamelessly flirted with Legato, much to the sadist's
dismay. BDN drooled on Meryl's
shoulder, and Wolfwood got smacked a bit for trying to sleep on Milly. That about sums it up… Now, join us for the
second episode of…
The
CAmping Story of DOOM!!!
About two hours after the trip had begun, the bus pulled
into a happy place, at which point the twins ran out of the bus and to the
nearest bush to empty the contents of their stomachs- which mostly consisted of
half-digested Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
The birds were singing, the grass was green, and the trees
were… well, the trees were engaging in very treelike behavior, and Nicholas was
currently bleeding from the nose. There
was a very good reason for this, let me tell you.
See, Milly isn't the type that you want to spook when she's
sleeping. It's just not a very safe
thing to do. Unfortunately for Nick, he
found that out the hard way.
~Flashback~
Nicholas stared at the sleeping Milly. And stared. And stared. And stared. And then he stared some more. And just when he was about to go into
another hearty round of staring, when suddenly…
BUMP BUMP THUD!
The bus went over a speedbump.
"AAH!" yelled Milly, startled awake.
"AAH!" yelled Nicholas, startled by her sudden
high-pitched screaming.
"AAH!" yelled Milly, mostly because of Nick's
yelling, but partly because he'd been staring at her.
"AAH!" yelled Nicholas, reeling in pain because of
the sudden burst of pain in his nose.
He had just discovered Milly's natural reflexes.
~End Flashback~
Nick walked out of the bus, tilting his head back and
pinching his nose, closely followed by a very concerned Milly.
"I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to… you startled
me, that's all. Are you sure you're
okay?"
He looked over at her through half-closed eyes. "Do, really, id's oggay, dode bedshid
id…"
Milly was confused. "What?"
"I said… Id's ogay, dode benshin id!"
Milly stared at him blankly. "I… don't speak
Tagalog…"
Nicholas sighed. "Id's dod Dagalog, id's… dever bide…"
Meanwhile, still on the bus, Rai-Dei and Chapel were trying
to remove Meryl from underneath BDN's still sleeping self. It wasn't going too well.
About twenty minutes later, most of the kids were lined up
(well, as lined up as chibis who've been cooped up in a bus for 2 hours can be)
in front of the main building, where the cabin arrangements were posted.
It also happened to be where a short, obese, androgenous
truck driver sort of person was speaking into a loudspeaker while standing on a
podium.
And talking, too. "When I give the signal," he/she/it held up a whistle on a
string around it's neck, "you have permission to come and look at these
sheets, which contain your bunking partners! For the reason that there is a sad lack of girls," here the
creature looked harshly at Milly, Meryl, and Dominique, "we have decided
to mix it up! So, some of you guys
might be sharing a cabin with one of them."
Vash grinned at Knives, who rolled his eyes and looked
away. Wolfwood's nosebleed seemed to
worsen, interestingly enough.
After the androgenous camp counselor had finished pausing,
it continued. "Now, since you will
be in the prescence of ladies, I expect you to be on your best behavior. On another note, I want to tell you all how
this camp works. You will report to
mess hall when the bell rings, three times a day."
"Mess hall?" Vash whispered to Knives. "What is that guy, an ex-drill
instructor?"
"I think it's a girl," Knives replied.
The thing kept talking. "At 8 in the morning, I expect you to be out of bed and ready for
breakfast! And every night at 8, the
bell will sound for lights-out. Furthermore, after you've reported to your cabins, you will be expected
to report back to this spot at the next bell. At that point, you will sign up for the events you will be participating
in! Are there any questions?"
Everyone shifted and looked at each other uneasily. Then, Vash raised his hand, bouncing up and
down and grinning wildly.
"YES! You,
hoppy boy over there!"
"Well, I was just wondering if… um… ARE YOU A MAN OR A
WOMAN?!"
There was a dead silence. Vash grinned. The counselor
glared.
Knives looked around, and quickly grabbed his brother,
putting a hand over Vash's mouth. "Don't mind him, please, he knows not what he does, and he has a
tendency to speak without thinking, and he has ADD, and-"
The counselor smiled sweetly, and disturbingly.
"It's okay, there'll be no more questions. Now, each of you will have your own cabin
buddy! You and your buddy will be in
the same activities, sit with each other at lunch, and basically do everything
with you. Ever heard of the BUDDY
SYSTEM? YEAH! That's what it is. There
will also be a counselor for each separate cabin, who sill make sure you stay
in line, and go to bed at the appropriate time. However, they will not be sleeping in the same cabin with
you."
A sigh of relief was heard from all the kids, except for
Milly, who wouldn't think of anything bad to do anyway, and BDN, who was too
busy staring at the pretty colors everywhere to be listening well.
"FURTHERMORE! We will be doing physical activities every Friday. Rafting, hiking, and everything else you can
think of!"
There was more silence, then the counselor blew the
whistle. Everyone scrambled towards the
paper posted on the side of the main building.
BDN got there first, and blocked the way for everyone
else. He stood there for a minute, then
headed off towards the cabins, dragging his bright pink duffel bag behind him.
Everyone crowded around. Meryl, in the front, called out, "Who's Midvalley?"
The small boy clutching a toy saxophone stepped
forward. "Who else is there? LEGATO?" he said, in a frantic begging
tone. Legato cringed in the crowd.
Meryl shook her head. "Hoppered… and that's it. We have three."
A high-pitched cracking
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" echoed through the crowd.
Nicholas stepped up, closing his eyes and crossing his
fingers. "Pleeeeeeease…" He slowly opened one eye. "YES!" He skipped over to Milly, who stared at him quizzically. "We're in the same cabin!"
"Oh… wow…"
"Yeah, I know!" he said, grinning. "And there's some other people I don't
know. Rai-Dei and BDN."
Legato walked over to the list calmly, glanced at it, and
said evenly, "Knives, Grey, and Leonof, please gather here."
The rest of the sorting went uneventfully. Vash, EG Mine, Dominique, and Caine were all
in the same cabin. Zazie, Kaite, Monev,
and Chapel also were put together. The
kids headed off towards their respective cabins, speculating about what would
come next.
~End Part Two~
Soooooo… What did ya think? It's kinda boring, but the next chapter'll be better, I promise!
