::Disclaimer: I don't own anything, so don't sue
me.::
-=This was an English assignment to write a parody to
Casey at the Bat, so I obviously had to use Star Wars! I kinda liked it, so I
posted it :-D This is the first thing I've submitted, so pls review! What you
think? I know a lot of it doesn't quite fit, but bear with me here ;D =-
Star Wars in a Hat
by Catherine Fritz
The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Rebel Alliance
that day,
There wasn't much that they could do if that pesky
shield did stay.
They kept an eye out on the screen to see when that
Star would come around
And then sent out an able team to do work on the
ground.
They met the ewoks and together got the nerve to take
on the Imperial Walkers.
Some had to stay at home and watch like furry little
stalkers.
They thought, if only Luke could but get a whack at
that,
They'd be out of this mess in no time, but they kept
on going and never sat.
But good old Luke was up in the Death Star, fighting
for everyone's sake.
He wasn't getting very far 'cause his saber he should
not take.
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed little chance Luke would ever get
out of that.
But Han got in the shield room to the wonderment of
them all.
And Chewy, the walking carpet, into a Walker he did
crawl.
And when the dust had lifted and they saw what had
occurred,
There were hundreds of white storm troopers waiting
round the curb.
Then from the saddened multitude went up a forceful
yell,
It bounced from the windows and rattled the metal.
It struck upon the empty space and recoiled upon the
shacks,
For Luke, mighty Luke, got mad and grabbed his saber
back.
There was aggression in Luke's manner as he faced his
dreadful fate,
Lord Sidious was ever smiling; he could see his
flowing hate.
Right then Luke struck out at Lord Vader to cripple
him at that,
But Vader put up a good fight and commented, "Jabba
is quite fat."
Sidious's eyes were on them as they battled to the
death,
His old eyes applauded as he heard Darth Vader's
breath,
But then his smile turned to a frown as he saw him
start to return.
He then was lifted off his feet and was thrown to
crash and burn.
They got the shield down on the ground and now the
stage was set,
The attack against the Death Star General Ackabar now
would let.
The ships got into attack position and then proceeded
inside,
The control room gave their orders, but held their
breath with pride.
And now the evil emperor is dead as poo-doo cake,
The rebels had destroyed the Death Star! But hoped
that Luke escaped.
They all returned to Yavin4 where Leia and Han forgot
their fight,
They celebrated all night long; Luke had come back
all right.
O somewhere in this favored land the suns are shining
bright,
The cantinas are quite lively, and somewhere hearts
are light.
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere
children shout.
And in this galaxy far, far away, the Empire has died
out.
Or so they thought…