I'm looking at you now, and
you're beautiful. It knew that before,
of course, but it never meant as much as it does now. Now it does because everyone knows how beautiful you are. It's not just me standing alone and looking
on, now the whole world is standing next to me and gawping at you; their
saviour. Now the whole world's seen
you, and they all want you, just like I do, but there are millions of them, and
only one of me. It's more likely that
one of them will get you, not me. I'll
be alone, and I won't even be able to look at you anymore. They'll have snatched you away from me. But I'll make the most of having you here
before they do. But, will I have enough
time? Maybe they'll throw you back when
they find out what you're really like.
They're in love with Squall the mythic hero who saved them, and you know
what? The man is no match for the
legend.
Unfortunately it wasn't the
legend I fell for, otherwise I wouldn't be stuck here now. There's a fact. But stuck here I am. I
wish it was the legend that I loved, that way I could have turned my back and
carried on walking when I saw you for what you really are; a fraud, a
confidence trickster.
Funny thing to call you, that, it
makes you sound like you dress up as a Gas man and rob old ladies when they let
you in to read the metre. If I said it
out loud it would probably go right over your head. That's partly why I love you, in some ways you're so simple. You probably don't even think I'm capable of
such a profound thought, but you'd be surprised. I think an awful lot when it comes to you.
That's what I mean about you,
being the legend. You hide behind this
wall that people have built up around you, and I was here before they made you
that wall, and they've fenced me in with you.
I've got the real you, and they have their hero. But still, you let as much go around me as
you do around them. All I want from you
is a genuine bit of emotion, and that's something I doubt even you the legend
could deliver. I'll suffer in silence,
I'll keep it to myself, and I'll take what I can get. They're the only options I have left.
Zell, xxx
* *
* *
"Zell!"
Hearing his name, Zell closed the
book and looked up to watch Quistis approach from the sea, her arms folded
across her chest to protect her modesty in her swimsuit. The older woman pushed her wet hair away
from her face and smiled. She bent
down, picked up her towel, and shook the sand off of it vigorously before
settling with Zell on his to dry herself.
"What're you up to then?" She nodded at the black book Zell was
holding protectively.
"Nuffin', jus' writin' me
journal, baby!" He grinned and waved the
book at her. "In case of GF induced
amnesia."
"Why?" She wore a humorous half-frown.
"Going somewhere?"
"No…" He frowned too, a more
serious one than hers.
"So, you're not going anywhere,
do you even have a GF Junctioned at the moment?" He shook his head, his blue eyes narrowed in an attempt to figure
out where this was going. "So what
makes you think you'll forget him?"
"'Him?'" He looked puzzled.
"Don't play dumb, Zell." Quistis flicked her damp hair at him in mock
reproach. "Him. Squall!"
She pointed across the beach towards the water she had just left, her
finger aimed directly at the chestnut-haired, grey-eyed SeeD commander who
stood knee-deep in the cold sea, scowling darkly at Selphie as she tried to
shepherd him deeper. "If you're not
going anywhere, what makes you think you'll forget him?"
Zell blushed, drawing up his
knees across his blue towel and dropping his chin against them. "What makes you think I was writing about
him?" He rubbed nervously at his calve with
the corner of his journal.
"Just a theory I have, that the
only thing that can make you think," her head disappeared as she rubbed at it
with her towel. "Is him," she finished
when she emerged.
He stared at her with pretend
fury. "The only thing? That's it!
Feel my wrath Quisty!" He took a
playful swipe at her head with his book; half hoping he would hit her so the
conversation would stop before he told her anything. He had a problem about telling lies in general, but to Quistis it
was damn near impossible.
"Aha!" she chuckled as she ducked
the swinging book. "Diversionary
tactics. Trying to hide something
Dincht?"
"Hide something, what on Earth
would I want to hide?"
"I don't know," Quistis remarked
in a manner that said quite plainly that she did know, she just wouldn't
say. "But you were staring at him so
hard I though he would spontaneously combust!"
The blonde man rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, well," he snatched his bag
close and shoved his journal inside roughly.
"Jus' can't help myself sometimes."
"Sarcasm?" Her icy cool eyes fixed Zell's intense ones
in a challenge, and he had to fight not to look away. Eventually though, his eyes darted away from hers to Squall, who
was now being harassed by Irvine as well as Selphie.
"I'd say about…forty-five percent
sarcasm."
"The other fifty-five percent?"
"Bitter honesty," he gave her a
wry grin before his eyes moved back to Squall.
"I mean, jus' look at him."
Quistis turned her head to watch Squall fending off Selphie and her
sidekick who were engaging in a game of 'Let's pull down Squall's swimming
shorts'. "Sometimes I really can't
help myself. He's…he's… You know what I mean. You saw it before as well." Quistis nodded.
"He's beautiful." Zell nodded. Quistis knew exactly what he saw; it was the precise word he had
used in his journal.
"And on top of that I…I, jus'" he
smashed a fist against the sand and shot her a pained expression, and she
didn't need him to finish that sentence to know what he meant. "Really I do…" his wistful tone confirmed Quistis'
speculation and she nodded, and they continued watching the three SeeDs in the
water. "But he's such a bastard
sometimes."
Selphie let out something akin to
a battle cry and leapt onto Squall's back, then Irvine disappeared beneath the
chill water's unusually calm surface, Squall and the maniacally giggling
Selphie soon followed. A few seconds
and several violent splashes later, Irvine surfaced, waving a pair of black
shorts above his head. He ran back to
the beach, a little hindered by the fact that he was waist deep in water,
waving the shorts back and forth all the way, Selphie followed swimming. Even in the excitement of their victory she
still had more sense than the Galbadian cowboy, but then, being short as she
was, meant she wouldn't get far running in the water anyway.
Squall broke the surface, already
halfway through a demand that they bring his shorts back, but the two SeeDs
merely danced about on the shore, the shorts held up like a banner, laughing.
"You're not the boss here
Squall! Here you're just a friend,"
Irvine called back. "Equal
treatment! Thems your orders!"
The two blondes seated on Zell's
towel watched, laughing at Squall's distress, and Squall glared at them to
cover his embarrassment and the blush creeping across his cheeks. Irvine was right after all; he said he
wanted to be treated just as they would anyone else. Outside of Garden, he had told them, rank was irrelevant, and he
was just one of the guys. He had
practically asked for the abuse.
Squall's grey-eyes caught Zell's,
and the tattooed man on the beach could see the pleading in them, it was the
closest to a request for help anyone ever got from Squall since Rinoa had left,
and it was usually only Zell or Quistis that saw it. Zell sighed.
"Selphie," he called to the
green-eyed cadet currently in possession of the trunks. "Give 'em back now."
"Aww, come on, Zelly!"
He gave her an apologetic
look. "Selphie, don't be a bitch. Give 'em back."
"Sorry! No can do!" She grinned
proudly at her deviousness. "I don't
have them anymore!" She threw the
shorts to Irvine.
"Irve?"
"No way, man!" The Galbadian's answer was immediate. "We got our superior in a real compromisin'
position. Are you aware of the blackmail
potential!" He laughed, and Zell felt
another desperate look from Squall.
Wearily, he began to push himself
to his feet, but Quistis caught hold of his wrist.
"You don't have to. It'll be good for him to suffer a little
while longer." She grinned, her eyes
alive with mischief.
"I know, but it won't do me
any good to watch him suffer a little while longer." He smiled at her and she gave his arm an understanding
squeeze. He stood and brushed sand from
his legs, and Irvine took the opportunity to start running.
Zell was a martial artist, he was
fitter than Irvine, and inevitably he caught up with him. Unfortunately for squall's sake, it wasn't
until after he had fed the shorts to an adamantoise he found dozing behind a
rock.
The blonde came walking back
along the beach massaging his knuckles and muttering. Irvine came walking back along the beach massaging a crack in his
skull and whining.
Selphie danced over to her
longhaired lover. "Aw, Irvy-poo! You 'kay?"
"He hit me!"
"Damn right!" Zell shot the remark back at him over his
shoulder as he made his way to his towel and Quistis, leaving Selphie to her
motherings.
"Where are they?"
"Idiot fed 'em to a turtle," Zell
stated as he kicked off his trainers.
He pulled his white tank top over his head, carefully so as not to mess
up his hair which was gelled into a crest of vertical blonde spikes. Zell had a second tattoo on his chest,
larger than the one on his face which reached from his brow and down his cheek,
it was a continuation of its tribal theme, and covered the left side of his chest
in spidery black lines. Zell picked up
his baggy denim shorts and headed for the sea.
"Where are you going with those?"
Quistis questioned. If he gave them to
Squall, Zell would have to wear a pair of soaking wet shorts for the journey
back to Garden later.
Zell turned, continuing to walk backwards. "They're for Squall, he won't come out wi'
nuffin' on."
"But what will you
wear?" Zell shrugged.
"These." He snapped the elastic waistband of his
purple swim shorts.
"Zell, wait!" But he had turned back around and ran
straight for the water. Quistis watched
his back retreat into the grey sea, keeping his hair above the gentle
waves. Never one to miss an opportunity
twice, Quistis glanced at Zell's bag, then took his journal from it and flipped
it open.
She looked up at Zell, teasing
Squall with the denim shorts that were now dark and heavy with the water they
had absorbed, and then back down at the book in her hands. "Oh, Zell…"
A/N: Ta-da! Confidence Trickster, chapter one! It's much better than my previous attempt,
and if you didn't read or can't remember my previous attempt, you'll just have
to take my word for it. I for one,
think this is going to go quite well.
Anyone agree? Disagree? Don't care?
If you can answer yes to those first two questions, give me a
review. If a yes to the third, don't
bother.