Some... element ran through Ashton's... leg... or something...

"You've stopped caring, haven't you?"

Pretty much.

"Figures."

"BOOYAH!" Ratsputin slams his staff in Ashton's groin. Ashton wimpers and falls to the floor.

"Poor guy. He's probably lost most, if not all, of his reproductive ability by now."

"Mmm hmm."

"Notice that so far, only one piece of dialouge has had the capibility to be rightfully tacked to someone?"

"Yep."

"Yep."

"Mmm hmm."

"You can stop anytime now."

"Right."

Precis jumps in the air, "ROLL CALL!!!"

Everyone lines up side by side and stands at attention as the author appears out of the clouds in a giant hand again.

"Right. Anyway, I'm going to be making some more cuts." A groan echoes throughout the cast as they slouch a bit.

"First, Locke and Celes? Sorry, but no new jokes can be made. Tasteful ones, at least... Hit the road."

"Okay... We know when we're not wanted... Come Celes."

"Here? Now? Well, whatever you say..." Celes begins to remove her battle suit as Locke smacks her in the side of the head and carries her off into some distince somewhere.

"Mmmkay... Well, that was pretty much it, no one else's cut today." Everyone cheers and jumps into the air, Ratsputin giving Ashton another blast to his genitals. Everyone points and laughs at Ashton for being lame and a target, then goes back to whatever as the author ascends into the sky once again.

"Must he do that each time?"

Ashton gurgles.

Alex looks all serious for some reason, "They're coming... But not that way..."

Ashton regains his stance and staggers to his feet, "Who's coming, but not that way?"

"The Magic Morons..." A hushed gasp from everyone within a hundred mile radius, "Magic Morons? HERE?!"

"Yes..." Season walks forward, "Led by him..."

"Allen..."

Everyone pulls their respective weapons, Alex using a claymore, Season a pair of whips, and Lizy a pair of knives, "This ends here..."

Allen then appears over the horizon, clad in a pink Power Ranger outfit with obvious rips in the armpits and crotch, signifying it is far too small. He is waving a cardboard cut-out of the Fairy Wand from Super Smash Brothers, and is chanting random overused catch phrases such as "All Your Base Are Belong to Us!", "Who's Yo Daddy?", and "Oh My God, They've Killed Kenny!" A slew of slobbering bucktoothed people follow him with messy flock of seagulls haircuts and tye-dye Sailor Senshi outfits on, wielding googly-eyed pet rocks, screaming for retribution.

"Hot damn."

Hey, shut up. That was ingenious.

"Whatever... Let's just get this battle over with."

The world goes into battle mode, a-la Final Fantasy VI, Alex, Season, Ashton, and Kei stand in the player's section, Allen in the enemy section, flanked by three BTPWMFOSHATDSSOWGEPRSFR's. The dialouge box appears.

"You will not defeat us! We will finally have our revenge on you, Alex!"

"Not a chance! You'll be defeated just like every other time!"

"Ha! We have new, more useless weapons this time around! You SHALL be annoyed to some point!"

Kei's turn. Attack. BTPWMFOSHATDSSOWGEPRSFR A. A blast emits from Kei's gun and hits the uppermost BTP for 1263 damage. It dies.

"No! Eugene!"

Ashton's turn. Attack. BTPWMFOSHATDSSOWGEPRSFR B. Ashton steps forward and slashes the bottom BTP for 1839 damage, then 1532 damage. It dies.

"Franklin! Damn you Alex!"

Season's turn. Saiyan. BTPWMFOSHATDSSOWGEPRSFR C. Season charges energy and fires a huge ki blast at the BTP directly behind Allen for 1769 damage.

Alex coughs.

"Barney was the last straw! You shall die!!"

Allen's turn. Lame-Ass. Gamma Wave. Alex. Allen casts all the level three elemental spells, Flare, and Bio centered on Alex for 9999 damage. Alex falls.

"Dammit... That... Was... Cheap..."

Kei's turn. Magic. Life. Alex. Alex is blessed by holy light and touched by an angel, but not that way. He stands and recovers 215 HP.

Tifa's turn. Magic. Cure 3. Alex. Alex is healed by a rainbow colored light for 9999 HP.

Season's turn. X-Magic. Quick. Season. Season stops time.

Season's turn. X-Magic. Haste. Alex. Alex is blessed with the ability to move five times faster than before.

Season's turn. X-Magic. Quick. Alex. Alex stops time.

"Oh, and THIS isn't Lame-Ass?!"

Alex's turn. X-Attack. Allen. Alex strikes Allen a total of four times, dealing 4567, 3920, 4792, and 5091 damage.

Alex's turn. X-Attack. Allen. Alex strikes Allen a total of four times, dealing 4873, 4292, 5002, and 3992 damage.

"That was so cheap! Completely not fair! I am SO coming back later! Not that way!"

Allen runs.

Everyone spins a few times and raise their arms in the air repeatedly.

Gained 1 GP.

The world returns to normal, Allen and the BTPWMFOSHATDSSOWGEPRSFR have ran away, and everyone who WASN'T in the battle looks really, really confused.

"What just happened here?"

"We'd rather not talk about it..."

Right. Well, after that fit of idiocy, let's give everyone something again.

Alex gets a new claymore.

Season gets an issue of "Cheese Monthly".

Lizy gets something to do, she must travel about the land, in search of the magical golden virgin goat hair.

Tifa seems to get purpose, but not really.

Kei gets recognition for her two actions.

Ashton gets the 1 GP.

Ratsputin doesn't get anything, because I feel he is a very mean pers... "BOOYAH!"

R..atsputin... gets... a mill..ll...ll..ion... dollars...

Mr. Head doesn't get anything, sadly, because I'm too busy coughing up blood.

You, the reader, got another chapter of this twisted pile of decaying horse diharrea.