*I did not write this song, it was written by my friends Brendan M. and Jonathan G.*

The Real Ralph Morgan

Will The Real Ralph Morgan please mark Time,

I Repeat, will the real Ralph Morgan Please mark Time.

I think we're gonna have a problem here

(Verse 1)

Ya'll act like you've never seen a fat person before.

Drawers all on the floor like Josh and Lee Dixon just burst through the door,

Call a freshman a whore rollin; him over furniture

its the return of the uh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just do,

what I thought he did...did he?

and Adam Green says, nothing you idiots, Adam Green's dead he's locked

in my basement!

Flutist women hate Ralph The Goat. Baa baa Ralph Morgan I'm sicka him

look at him stopmin around holding his you know what (alto sax)

flipping to you know who (Jen-Of arc) yeah, he's so fat though

Ok, so maybe I have a few buttons down in my pants loose, but no worse

than what's going on in Berning's bedroom

sometimes I get pissed at Berning and wanna let loose, but I can but

its cool for Kevin Lewis to invoke verbal abuse

Hes getting Berning pissed, he's getting Berning pissed, and if he's

unlucky he might give him a little kick, and that's the message we

deliver to Berning's kids and expect them not to know that they aren't really

his

of course they gonna know what intercourse is, by the time they reach

1st grade,

they watch their mom don't they?

we ain't nothing but bands students,

well some of us Sousaphone players, band's pro BS sayers.

(chorus)

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set (Jeffery) up turn his IQ up

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set (Jeffery) up turn his IQ up

(Verse 2)

Berning's hemorrhoids are a real band camp wrecker

Martha Stewart is too, so get some cream and use one stone to kill two

half the time he cant mange me, led alone stand me

But we're goats we gloat does that make us wierd

No its just why Berning want us the Hell outta here

Im not leavin but Berning while you're up can we share your beer

So I can get a beer belly and be feared

You and Snead arguing bout what sounds the worst

Then make us practice till we come in 1st

"Run it back once more I think its gonna be better"

We should spend the whole year at F A I R M O N T

Or we could go to Fairborn and get TB (Tee He)

I'm sick of the gay tenors

all they do is annoy me

so I have been sent here to destroy you

and there's a million of us just like me

who play sax like me who cant stand straight like me

who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me

and just might be the next best thing, but not quite

me.................

(Chorus)

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set (Jeffery) up turn his IQ up

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set (Jeffery) up turn his IQ up

(Verse 3)

I'm like a head trip to listen to

Cuz I have been known to

Play the alto sax and make it sound like impending doom

The only difference is Im tone death when I play it

in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all

I just put my lips on the damn thing and rip it

and whether you like to admit it (riiip)

I just pissed off 90% of the band director's lovers

Underneath the covers

One and only Ralph Morgan lover.

It's funny, cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty

I'll be the only person at Fairmont flirting

pinchin teachers asses when I'm tryin hard and working

and I'm learnin but this whole stack of cheat sheets isn't working

in every single person there's a Ralph Morgan lurkin

he could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings

or in the parking lot, circling, makin his alto sound like a truck

with his windows down and his system up

so will the real Ralph please stand up

and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up

and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go? .................

(Chorus)

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set (Jeffery) up turn his IQ up

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set up turn his IQ up

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set up turn his IQ up

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set up turn his IQ up

I'm Ralph Morgan yes I'm Ralph Morgan

All you other Ralph Morgan's are just imitating

So won't Winkis please shut up get Set up turn his IQ up

(Talking)

haha guess there's a Ralph Morgan in all of us........ Silly Winkis

Tricks are for Brendon Now Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

-end-

*Okay, now some of this needs some explaining, obviously Brendon and Jonathan are both alto saxes, and are both out of their minds. Brendon's nickname is Ralph Morgan, or Ralph the Goat, and is a big guy, not to mention that one of his other nicknames is Surley. Adam Green is the alto sax section leader and kind of an jerk, but they seem to like him. Winkis would be this little sophomore, who's pretty much the tag-a-long of Brendon's pack, and for your sake I won't even explain the "tricks are for brendon now joke." And, Berning would be our wonderful Director.

P.S.-Blow It Hard Clarinets!*